View Full Version : What's it like to NOT have AD/HD


jess30
10-19-14, 07:33 PM
Hello

I'm brand new here. I very recently found out i have ADHD (inattentive... still coming to grips with it...),and now I'm dying to know what is it like to be 'normal' or I think the correct term is NT?

I always wondered how come some people seem to do things so effortlessly (I mean things that I 'should' find easy seeing as I was an 'A' student) but I put it down to different upbringings mainly.... now I am really curious as to how do their brains work?

Hope this makes sense and is in the right place etc

Thanks!

Rebelyell
10-19-14, 07:48 PM
He'll if I'll ever know, probably would of played golf instead of twisting throttles and wanting to do anything dangerous or that defies brains

Flory
10-19-14, 07:49 PM
My life is a mess....i don't find it useful to think about it like that or from that angle....I stay in my own lane

At this point I'm like..why would I torment myself

Rebelyell
10-19-14, 08:06 PM
I'd be neat, organized, suave non clumsy, quiet wouldn't flip out like a will Farrell movie and kick the **** out of every thing.Be married w a great career with children, we'll behaved and heeled kids.

Rebelyell
10-19-14, 08:06 PM
Then I woke up the end..:yes::giggle:

ToneTone
10-19-14, 08:50 PM
Well by accident, I experienced what I think it would be like NOT to have ADHD. Ironically, this experience is what led me onto the road towards getting diagnosed.

I was going through a tough time after my divorce and I asked my psychiatrist to increase the dosage on the Wellbutrin I was taking for depression.

He increased the dose from 300mg of xl to 450mg of xl, the highest dosage. For six weeks, I was in heaven. My mind was quiet--so quiet in fact that it made me aware that usually there is a constant chatter going on ... I remember going to a dance, and I was able to keep my mind in the present ... I mean on myself, my feet, my body ... the people around me ... no chatter, no crazy stories, so going off into fantasy land ...My ability to concentrate was amazing!

I became more decisive than I ever remember being. My choices and my decisions were so much easier to make. I remember trying to pay attention to what my brain was feeling at this time of decisiveness ... Usually when I think about a decision or a choice, it's like I have ten rude loudmouths in my brain yelling out at the same time ... As soon as the leader makes a decision, the loudmouths start raising questions. And the leader doubts himself and sometimes doesn't implement the decision he made ... sometimes the leader forgets he even made a decision.

But during those first six weeks of the increased Wellbutrin, I confidently and easily made decisions. I was so startled when I noticed this that I tried to pay attention to my thoughts, to notice what was different from the usual chaos and lack of focus ... And here's what I noticed: in this decisive period, my brain understood of course that a decision might not turn out the way I wanted it to. But ... that awareness no more slowed me down than the awareness I have that when I go to the grocery store, the store might not have in stock the items I am looking for. Duh! ...

An extraordinary time ... of course, it passed ... my long-standing brain habits pushed back against the new dosage ...But I realized that the effect of what I had experienced wasn't so much an anti-depression effect as attention effect. That led me eventually to get diagnosed with ADHD.

Rebelyell
10-19-14, 09:02 PM
I am so screwed up w adhd that I have just accepted this is how it's gonna be till I stop breathing.

jess30
10-20-14, 03:08 AM
Thanks all.

I think my question got taken a bit wrong...? Probably my fault sorry.

I wasn't asking what "you or I" would be like without ADHD as I totally agree Flory, that would just torment me if I let myself go there.

I guess in hindsight I was meaning for ADHD people who have descriptions from their NT partners or friends of what it's like to be NT or even for NT people on here to tell us!

Hope I haven't offended anyone.

HAGD

Thanks!

Pentax
10-20-14, 08:19 AM
Thanks all.

I think my question got taken a bit wrong...? Probably my fault sorry.

I wasn't asking what "you or I" would be like without ADHD as I totally agree Flory, that would just torment me if I let myself go there.

I guess in hindsight I was meaning for ADHD people who have descriptions from their NT partners or friends of what it's like to be NT or even for NT people on here to tell us!

Hope I haven't offended anyone.

HAGD

Thanks!

Hi jess. I dont have ADHD. Since there's a lot of variety in people who dont have it, that has been pretty well proven, I cant generalize about others without it. What would you like to know?

I sometimes think the apparent ease with which people like me are said to do things is only an exterior impression. Non ADHD people come on this site because their life is hard, confusing and on some days too much for them to handle.

Tone did write something to which I can respond. Having had a harrowing life beginning, i carry around voices that tend to obstruct my decision making, too. But I have an impression not so many as Tone, I dont have that inattentive distractabilty is very real to many with ADHD, I've trained my self to have one task attention and here may be a difference, i can force myself to concentrate, if I'm not in the mood, my mind is loaded with multiple other things. I can force myself. I can force myself to a decision, if i cant reason through or get obvious proof that i ought to decide one way not another

But cant tolerate ambient clatter and noise, and really cant tolerate incessant interruption while i'm thinking or working. My ADHD partner's zig zags, although i accept that they are authentic and the way he does things, are very disruptive to my execution or even remembering what i was trying to do. So i definitely have challenges to my ability to execute decisions. I can get to a state, after many interruptions, whether i interrupted myself or someone else or something else, anything else does it, that i go into a stunned state, and cant think and remember

So i do a lot to remove attention challenges, if i'm needing to make a decision or execute one. but to come back to Tone, I dont think I have that many things tugging me internally in so many directions all the time. And i can force myself to concentrate on one thing, and i wonder if that forcing oneself to concentrate is possible for people with ADHD, so I'm asking you about that.

Flory
10-20-14, 09:03 AM
I'd be neat, organized, suave non clumsy, quiet wouldn't flip out like a will Farrell movie and kick the **** out of every thing.Be married w a great career with children, we'll behaved and heeled kids.

I wouldn't throw buffallo sauce up the side of the wall when it didn't go right. :p

moth2flame
10-20-14, 09:24 AM
here may be a difference, i can force myself to concentrate, if I'm not in the mood, my mind is loaded with multiple other things. I can force myself.

Therein might lie the difference between ADHD and non: there are times when I can (for limited amounts of time) force myself to do unpleasant or boring things, and other times when I simply cannot. Some days, no amount of guilt, punishment or reward that I or others heap on myself is enough to overcome the terrible inertia... and believe me, I and they have tried for many, many years.

Perhaps the worst part: there really is no reliable way to predict WHEN my brain will decide to work and when it won't... which plays hell with routines like "school" and "work"... and all those things "normal" society likes to expect of you.

Actually, panic is one of the few last-ditch things that works, unfortunately. Which is I'm sure where the extreme procrastination comes from: can't make decisions until it's a total emergency? Just manufacture small emergencies for yourself over and over to get anything done! It's so stressful, tiring, and infuriatingly necessary. :(

...but that's what it's like to *have* ADD. As far as what it's like to NOT have it... well, I don't really seem to have much experience with that! :lol: But my best guess is that if you can indeed force yourself to things you don't want to do, even if they are extremely boring or unpleasant, in a regular and reliable manner, you probably don't have ADD.

jess30
10-20-14, 04:56 PM
Ah yes. This is so interesting! There are two key points for me here.
1. All those voices/conversations playing in your head - the psychiatrist I saw told me that no, not everyone does that, I was SO surprised!
2. Being able to force yourself for limited amounts of time to do things SOMETIMES BUT NOT ALWAYS. (sorry I haven't worked out how to quote yet Moth) - I am definitely going to ask my (nonADHD) husband about this.
In fact I think we did touch on it once and he said that he just gets on with the unpleasant task, whereas I go off into a long involved conversation in my head about it. Then what usually happens is I see something else that needs doing instead and I do that and the other thing gets completely and genuinely forgotten till who knows when, sometimes forever.
I'll let you know what he says!

TLCisaQT
11-03-14, 12:30 AM
One thing I say a lot of times to my husband is "just try to tune it out." He just looks at me and says "that isn't even possible!" I can choose in some regards what I want or don't want to focus my attention on, sounds, smells, etc.

LauraRomans
11-06-14, 07:52 PM
1) I would make a to do list
2) I would FINISH the to do list
3) I would do NOTHING but the to do list
4) My spouse would not recognize me
4a) my house would be clean
4b) the laundry would be put away
4c) programing would cease to be a hobby

Lunacie
11-06-14, 08:59 PM
I expect it would be like:

finishing one task before starting another ...
listening to someone without interrupting ...
paying bills before they're due ...
staying seated during a meeting (or movie or tv show) ...
remembering where you parked your car ...

but I'll never know what that feels like. :rolleyes:

Joker_Girl
11-06-14, 09:38 PM
I cannot do any of those things, even medicated.

Goofycook
11-08-14, 03:36 PM
Id be like my sister, able to notice something on the floor and pick it up, not leave cupboard doors open, pay my bills when due,rinse a plate off so it's easier to wash later, not hyper focus on playing Quirko all day with the expert in the ipad and beating that expert. The list goes on and on.

I was in Washington state last month visiting my oldest sister. When I first got there she wanted to know what went through my head when II didn't do the simple housekeeping tasks like the ones I named above. I told her somestimes I didn't notice things laying around. If I did notice I would tell myself "later",the later that never comes.

After that conversation I proceded to kick my sister's butt in Quirko. She being the older bossy sobling told me it just wasn't fair that I could beat her profusely at games but couldn't be organized with the little day to day things.

So the bottom line is we have no clue what is like to be different because we are what we are. My sister has been trying to understan ADHD for years because my niece and nephew have been DX. She just can't fathom the way we think because she is so normal. I also give up trying to figure the NT's out because it just isn't in my DNA to be like them

megco802
11-12-14, 03:15 AM
Wait...so you mean some people DONT have 24 and half other voices in their head trying to make decisions for them? Or weighing every possible outcome? Or rambling incessantly when it's time for rest?

Well.
I can't tell if that sounds peaceful or boring.

Jenn1202
11-13-14, 02:40 AM
Based on what I've heard non-ADD/non-ADHD people are organized, capable of focusing on boring things, they don't lose things all the time and they don't have to move some part of their body all the time. They're also generally calmer and able to relax and they seek less excitement.