View Full Version : For those with dysphoric hypomania (or whatever)


BellaVita
10-29-14, 02:30 AM
Yeah, lots of threads in the Bipolar section lately.

Lots of thoughts.

Anyway, when in a dysphoric hypomania or mixed or just going about your day - do you ever get upset by something but "shaking it off" doesn't work, and mentally you know it's a small thing, but yet you still stay upset about it for several hours?

...or days?

And then with that it's like you get even more "worked up" about it (as time goes on), also feeling irritable and upset at self for getting so upset?

But it doesn't go away....:mad:

Abi
10-29-14, 07:05 AM
Days. Yup.

BellaVita
10-29-14, 07:23 AM
Days. Yup.

Yeah. It's like my brain is trying to find something to be upset at.

I hate this cuz I know it bothers others, but I have to be around them

Abi
10-29-14, 07:26 AM
YES.

Mine too.

Mixed with anxiety.

I'm so glad the semester ends soon

BellaVita
10-29-14, 07:28 AM
Days. Yup.

How do you deal when forced to be around others?

BellaVita
10-29-14, 07:30 AM
YES.

Mine too.

Mixed with anxiety.

I'm so glad the semester ends soon

Thank goodness

Yes for me it's like

Irritability on top,
Anxiety underneath (but pretty bad)

At least lately

Abi
10-29-14, 07:33 AM
Its hard to be around others.

I mostly go out and sit at the cocktail bar alone and drink.

I had a 2 hour face to face session with a student yesterday and it DRAINED ME.

Then I had a rude waiter at the bar so that totally spoilt y evening.

Today I'm doing NOTHING I don't care if I get cautioned or fired for being behind on my work.

I'm just so mentally and emotionally tired.

BellaVita
10-31-14, 12:40 AM
I seem to be forever irritable and anxious :(

fracturedstory
11-09-14, 11:32 PM
I learned to know or eventually realise when dysphoric hypomania has hit, usually it follows days/weeks of positive hypomania. I usually break before I can shake it off, but then I try to employ some CBT and just tell myself what is happening and how I don't actually feel this way, then I keep losing control of my emotions throughout the day but I prepare myself for the depression that will eventually come.

At this time I can't stand the presence of another human being. Sometimes it shocks me to feel this way, because you know what we're like with happy fun go lucky positive hypomania.

Sorry you're doing so tough Bella. Lately my anxiety and even depression symptoms (lethargy) have been high do to the unemployment services being on my back again. It's like I'm always going to feel this intense suicidal anxiety every couple of months because of having to see them and feel threatened that I'll have my pension payments cut off.

InvitroCanibal
12-26-14, 09:34 PM
Yeah, lots of threads in the Bipolar section lately.

Lots of thoughts.

Anyway, when in a dysphoric hypomania or mixed or just going about your day - do you ever get upset by something but "shaking it off" doesn't work, and mentally you know it's a small thing, but yet you still stay upset about it for several hours?

...or days?

And then with that it's like you get even more "worked up" about it (as time goes on), also feeling irritable and upset at self for getting so upset?

But it doesn't go away....:mad:

I find that anger is just a buffer for what I either fail to understand or fail to communicate, because there is always a raw emotion lurking behind it all that I have not allowed myself to accept.

If I want to let go of an emotion, then I have to stop using the buffer words my ego knows so well, like depression and anger and get to the heart of what made me feel hurt, rejected, or powerless.

Then I look at the intentions of the matter, did the individual truly mean to do that or did I set them up to do it?

More often than not I set others up to hurt or offend me because im just too damn afraid to communicate how I feel or what I want/need. I feel the lowest when I fail to entertain others, fail to impress or dazzle but then I wonder why? Why do I need to attend to the needs of others at the cost of my own.

The thing worse than selfishness for me is unprepared selflessness because to be selfless I have to prepare to have no self. Meaning no opinion or thoughts, feelings etc. In the end an act of selflessness can starve you of your own sense of self because the expression of who I am exists within the expression of my own selfish desires. The more I repress that the more I take away my own right to exist and the more angry and deppressed I may feel. Seemingly without cause or unprovoked.

If I ever need to wonder why an individual isnt considering my needs, its usually because im not considering my needs. Being selfish requires accepting my weaknesses. But my ego needs to believe in the illusion of independence and by starving myself of what I need, I weaken myself and create dependence.

A person starved of what they need isnt a strong person they're an ill person.

The truth is, i'm an *******, I was born an ******* and i'll die an ******* and it's only when my needs are met that I can begin to be selfless and tend to the needs of others.

If I don't accept that, then I'll lose myself in a world of coulds and shoulds where I don't know who I am and I'll forget what I wanted/needed and starve to death emotionally till i'm a hollow husk of a human being that only tends to the will of others.

Perhaps that's what creates the "I was told to push the button so I push the button" mentality in people. But that's another matter loosely related to the topic.

To answer your statements more directly, I find that when im hypomanic, my need to be recognized becomes greater, and so does my dissapointment at the failure of others to recognize my special snowflake bs mind set.

When Im depressed, its because I gave up on the world ever meeting my needs. And when im normal, my needs are fewer, more simple and therefore make me less prone to hold onto little infractions caused by others.

The secret to happiness isnt ignoring what you need but accepting it and hopefully one day needing less rather than more. How you go about needing less? Well I haven't figured that out

Ill theorize for your's and mine' sake that, perhaps just validating yourself and your needs/emotions is all you ever really needed to let things go.

Maybe if you don't get it from yourself you'll try to find it in others and wind up dissapointed, hurt and angry because of it?


Good day