I wonder if people with ADD are more apt to participate in the spreading of rumors than non-ADD people. Rumors can be stimulating to the ADD brain. Are non-ADD people more likely to not listen to rumors or not as likely to jump to conclusions about things before getting the actual facts? Does the impulsvity from the ADD play a big part in the whole rumor thing?

I know ADD shouldn't actually be used as an excuse for people to start and/or spread rumors. If a person is a victim or rumors that are started by or spread by people with ADD should he or she be more understanding to those people because they have ADD?

It makes sense that a stimulation junkie might bite that hook more easily. I'm not much for gossip. I've always thought of it as more a female thing, but I am surely wrong on this. Now I'll go bleed myself out somewhere quietly before I'm throttled publicly.

I don't expect it helps the ADHD to be cut any slack. I can adapt to structure and boundaries, but it's often a help if I "have to." When the bar has been raised and I've been called upon to rise to the occasion, I've done well. When things get dummied down for me, I get very unhappy.
Ian - fire in the hole!

Impulsivity has gotten me into sooo much trouble with my mouth. But I am not willing to give credit to my ADD being the root of any rumor I may have participated in.:rolleyes:

Rumors hurt people and many times they are intentially meant to hurt someone. If a rumor is started unintentionally, the perpetrator should be responsible for correcting or stopping the rumor.
The bottom line is that a rumor is a rumor...no excuses in my opinion.

I'd like to think I stay out of speading rumors but I have my faults with this.

I don't spead them but I may not see at first that they are rumors and believe what someone tells me.

Gossip is like $20 an ounce chocolate for me. I don't like to indulge, it's wrong to indulge, but when it lands in my lap I can get into it until sick and then totally regret it.

I don't spread rumors or start them. I do like to be "in the know". That's why bending my ear to gossip is so easy. Over the years, since I am aware of this short coming, I'm improving on not giving in.

Is it because of my ADD? I doubt it. Gossip can be a stupid distraction, but it usually ends up confusing me because then my peace maker attributes kick in and I want both sides of the story to be able to sort out the gossip and fix everything. Gossiping is a bad habit and I don't want to be a mean person.

I am known to my friends as "the vault". I have so many juicy secrets right now, I think the reason why I don't ever gossip or tell a secret to anyone is because I hate confrontation and I have a fear that someone will come to me and yell at me for spreading it. Recently a secret about a close friend came out and no one could believe that I knew this for years and never said anything. I like being the keeper of the secrets. lol.

Fastalkingmom...where did u get the flowers from..what site..i want some.

I wonder if people with ADD are more apt to participate in the spreading of rumors than non-ADD people.

personally speaking,

i am rarely clued in enough about what is happening in a conversation to bite the "i've-got-a-juicy-rumor" hook.

i may be curious, but, i rarely ask or dig in. i figure if i'm supposed to know, someone will tell me. then i'll promptly forget ;)

i'm a good secret keeper too though. sometimes i get into a situation where i say more than i think i ought to, but, with my smooth social skills(note: i'm being ironic!!! :rolleyes: ) i am able to back myself out of corners by subtly saying, "ummmm, i’m going to stop talking now." another good line from me is, "ummm, i don't remember...." < very believable! :D

i think a big part of why i get away with keeping secrets is that no one asks me because they think i wouldn't know anyway.... because of that whole not-clueing-into-the-conversation thing i've got going. heh.

most rumors end up being pretty darn boring ... too much like watching a soap opera.

in my opinion, one would be hard-pressed to find a positive correlation between "ADDer" and "participate in the spreading of rumors."

maybe the "H" would need to be present? though i think there it'd be more of a "spilled the beans" type slip than maliciously and calculatingly spreading rumors.

for what it's worth,

W.

I am exactly like several of the previous posters (or are the postees?)

As an adHder, I do not spread rumors, never have. (Probley because as soon as I hear the rumor, before I have a chance to repeat it, something came up that side tracked me and I forget to spread it.) Just kidding.

I have (like Eyeforget) been told that I seem to always have to be in the know. I kind of took offense to this when I was told this, but I guess it's true. My keen sense of hearing and observing is always on. I am always aware of who is doing what and when.

I am a definite secret keeper. Alot of coworkers tell me secrets that never get out. (I work with several hundred women and that's hard to do.)

I have one good friend at work who knows everything that is happening or that is going to happen. Whenever she has something big that she is holding inside, her lip quivers. It's hillarious. She never even noticed it until I brought it up. Now she will call me and tell me herlip is quivering, which means come over...quickly!!

My sister on the other hand, who is in adhd denial, has a nickname for being the "Big Mouth Bass". She can't keep a secret for anything. She actually told my mom that I was pregnant before I was able to tell her. When I gave her trouble for it, she said that she just told my mom that she knew something BIGGGGGGGGGGGGGG and that my mom guessed it. Whatever.

Anyway, I do not think that rumor spreading (or not) is related to add/adhd in my case. I do think that having to be in the know is related to add/adhd.

Now that I think about it, even though I do not spread rumors, I can think of a few situations that occurred where I was with a group of coworkers and someone else was spreading rumors and since I was always in the know, I may have corrected what they said. Such as, "No, it wasn't Sue who was fired for ... it was Jane" or something like that. Or it wasn't a 3 day suspension that Bob got, it was a 5 day.

I guess I am a little guilty and will try and keep my in the know knowledge in.

The flowers are pretty but pretty please stop the flashing (actually that's in the guidelines). My ADD brain can't take it, too distracting, and I know I'm not the only one.



Fastalkingmom...where did u get the flowers from..what site..i want some.

personally speaking,

i may be curious, but, i rarely ask or dig in. i figure if i'm supposed to know, someone will tell me. then i'll promptly forget ;)

i'm a good secret keeper too though. sometimes i get into a situation where i say more than i think i ought to, but, with my smooth social skills(note: i'm being ironic!!! :rolleyes: ) i am able to back myself out of corners by subtly saying, "ummmm, i’m going to stop talking now." another good line from me is, "ummm, i don't remember...." < very believable! :D
LOL, that's what I say. I didn't get my user name for nothin'! :D

The people I know usually don't know each other. I'm not one to start a rumour about a person. Neither are my friends, maybe that's one of the reasons why they are my friends. I do not understand intriguating, I never have.

I'm also a good keeper of secrets, although sometimes I feel I may have told a person too much about another person, not rumours, but true personal things.

I actually like to start rumors about myself to see how long it takes until they get back to me - and to determine how much they have changed.
It's an effective way to determine those that are rumor mongers and which are better at it than others.

If you need to do some long-term social engineering it's a good thing to know. It's much easier to guide people perceptions if they don't know you are doing so.

Please note: I only use my secret powers for good! :)

I heard you were a tricky guy motorbrain, sizing people up, trapping them, you've got a reputation.












:p jk :D

I'm against rumors and people complaining about other people.

If someone is doing something that I find is unwelcome then I like to tell them and talk it out. I think it helps to solve the problem better.

When people start talking to me about someone else in an unpositive way I tell them an assortment of things to STOP the rumor(s) right away:

"I think it might be a good idea to tell _____ how you feel."
"_____ is my friend. Please don't talk about him/her in that way."
"I don't think it's fair to be talking about ______ while he/she isn't here."
"I don't let people talk about you behind your back and I won't let you talk behind ____'s back either."
"I think it's really immature to be talking about someone that way while they are not here to defend themselves!"
"I don't feel comfortable talking about _____ while they are not here."
"I like you and I don't talk about you like that!"

and my favorite - "Tell them!" (With the tone I use it sounds like I'm saying - "Why tell me?")

If they keep talking about that person (let's say they are complaining) then you can say - "How about I tell ____ what you think about them so you two can talk it out?"

Then they usually say - "I've told ____ already and nothing has been done."

And then I say - "What do you want me to do about it?" They just wanted to boost themselves up by putting someone down and there is nothing I can do.

They may continue talking about this person in an unpositive manner so I may say - "This conversation is over!"

They'll then keep talking trying to persuad me to their belief and I keep repeating - "This conversation is over!" even if I have to repeat it ten times. It's the broken record technique.

I suggest you try this method when you hear someone complaining about someone else or starting rumors. You may think that they'll not like you, but you'll be surprised at what usually happens - They'll RESPECT you!!! ;)

It takes courage to stand up for yourself and other people and avoid 'really cool news' and I think the reward you get far outweighs it!

Lotsa Love

Boy is my life pathetically dull! I never hear rumors.

Better that way I guess. If I do hear something interesting, I tell my husband and it stops there.

I do have one girlfriend that is like Deb, mind like a trap. She has never shared anything I have told her over the years to anyone. And if I hear anyone bad-mouthing her, they get both barrels from me. I dont like gossip either. If it is general gossip, about public figures, famous ppl etc, then it is kind of fun to hear. I can not repeat though, memory escapes me all too often.

One creedo I have tried to live by is treating others as I would like to be treated.

I do wonder of its relation to ADD though. The impulse part makes sense to me.

Anyway, my two cents is left!

Have a great day all!

I heard you were a tricky guy motorbrain, sizing people up, trapping them, you've got a reputation.

:p jk :D


Good thing I actually like everyone! :-)
Just spent to many years in corporations to not want to play with the social structure a bit.

Did you know that I have "strange ritualistic sex, have 2 families on every continent and own a handful of million dollar corporations?"... I didn't either. But other people think apparently think so... :-D

What the heck, the rumor mill can pump out some pretty fun stuff if you load it right.

And especially if I pass that info around the forums....then we can really have some fun. Oooh, let's see if any of us are related to each other and you through your many marriages.

LOL. My bumper sticker reads: I brake for Marriage Licenses!

ROFL!!!







Oh wait...you were serious about the many families in every country? My my. Well, no matter. However unusual that is I support your right to live as you choose. *nervous laugh, wide eyes, exits before we discuss this embarrassing topic further*

hey chel, the brooklyn bridge is for sale. just send me a money order and it's all yours!!!

motorbrain, where is this year's family reunion? Aunt Marge *still* won't return my calls. It almost makes me think she's still upset about that silly misunderstanding when you stole her inheritence out from under her. What I don't get is why she's mad at *me* for it.... :confused:

:D,

W.

Oh goody, I've always thought my own bridge would be handy. I can set up my own toll plaza to pay for it. What's your mailing address?







please tell me you knew I was being completely tongue in cheek on the other post

I'm too honest to start a rumor. If I "think" something about you, your the first to know. For instance; last night at work was one of those nights you have nightmares of where your locked in the facility and everyone is trying to rip you to shreds, residents included. We have from 5 am to 6am to complete last rounds and start assisting the 6 am shift in getting residents up and dressed only this morning we had a death at 5:45am of a well loved resident so in the middle of trying to get her ready for the family and doing rounds and 12 call lights going off I notice that one of the guys on the morning shift is still sitting down at the nurses station not working. I didn't complain to him about anyone else just went up and asked if he was going to work today? Now, I hear that I am the ***** of the facility when in actuality I think they are just jealous because the most my co-workers had the guts to do was complain about how lazy he is amongst each other. Honestly, I look at it as a job I do for 8 hours we can work well together and have fun or we can work together makes no difference to me I'm only in the facility for 24 hours a week anymore.

As for rumors around town now those can be fun!! WE have one woman who is viscious and knows everyone's business and shares everyone's business with everyone else. I had the most fun upsetting her with not marrying my husband and having the gull to have not one but four children with the man...I LOVE getting to hear everyone's story of how they laugh at her privatly you see I'll be happily married for 9 years this summer lol. Hey if you can dish it, you better be able to take it, what comes around goes around, etc, etc.

I always start my own da*n rumors so it'll 'feed' the bunch for a while, and won't give them time to start any about me. Seriously! I don't buy into rumors, as they are destructive, and mostly full of hooey. Besides, I always tell people, when they want me to listen to some 'notion' of theirs about someone else, 'Hey...is it true that you were spotted swiping three rolls of toilet paper, and stuffing them in your briefcase, out of the work bathroom, last week? Don't do that, Homey, it's still considered theft, even if you feel work won't miss them'
That usually shuts them up fast :)
By the way...did y'all know I'm considering moving to Alaska soon?....LMAO!!
Nova

please tell me you knew I was being completely tongue in cheek on the other post

of course, chel! and don't worry, i won't tell anyone about your little "problem." are doctors planning on removing your tongue from your cheek? how can you talk?

:D

ri rone woah


*translation: I don't know*



Moderator is officially off-topic again, so sorry.

we're not off-topic at all, rather, we are showing by example why rumours don't fly around us.

we dont take anything seriously!

i hope this real-life example has helped to better explain the relationship (or lack there of) in some ADDers. though we in no way are representative of the group. we only represent ourselves. and i must say, Chel is a *very* good likeness of herself! of course she *is* an actress, so, that would explain it....

oh look, string! :D

W.

I wonder if people with ADD are more apt to participate in the spreading of rumors than non-ADD people. Rumors can be stimulating to the ADD brain. Are non-ADD people more likely to not listen to rumors or not as likely to jump to conclusions about things before getting the actual facts? Does the impulsvity from the ADD play a big part in the whole rumor thing?

I know ADD shouldn't actually be used as an excuse for people to start and/or spread rumors. If a person is a victim or rumors that are started by or spread by people with ADD should he or she be more understanding to those people because they have ADD?
I think this is probably not the case.

I personally abhor rumors becuase they hurt people. I have learned that unless a person is truly mean, I usually will end up liking them. Being on the good side of people is so much more rewarding for me from the stimulating brain aspect. People are complex and fascinating!

Beside, I am really open with my own stuff but lock really tight when it comes to things that affect other people. A life of not being trusted because you are different makes trust such an important issue!

I have noticed that people come to me with lots of personal stuff that they need to talk about because I am not part of any group and they know it will be locked up tight. I deal with all people on a 1 on 1 basis.

My social environment works like this:
Cory -> Individual not Cory -> Social Group

So for me, rumors have no benefit in that:
Either Rumors cement social group by scapegoating an individual OR rumors cement individual's place in a social group by scapegoating an individual (this is the bully/sociopath pattern)

I think most ADDers may be similar. There are a few that will release multiple rumors to see how they can devistate social groups. They find that fun...it seems immature and based on insecurity to me. (I know one woman like this...she gives ADD a bad name! :( )

I find that the worst thing about rumors is that they are based on lies, half truths and misinformation. The goal is to discredit the person or group. Participation in rumor spreading, IMO, diminishes the community that creates, generates and participates in this process.

Many people are hurt because we, as a group, begin to question our truth and our value as people. Very painful to witness and experience. Indeed.

I will also flat out reject the notion the rumor creating and spreading has anything to do with ADD or ADHD. Imo, it is related to people who do not care about others' feelings. :soapbox:

How ADD of us to run off with Tara's thread. How do you feel about rumors Tara?

Sorry, you know how we can be. I'd seriously like to hear your opinion.