View Full Version : ADHD + College = I hate you

11-08-14, 03:01 AM
Long time post!

So I'm back in school. Again. Seems to be the same bloody story with me. Take a class, do fairly well, take another class...fall behind, drop the class...come back a month later attempt it again and freaking screw everything up all over again. I am so sick of this!

So this time, I am three weeks behind. Two forum posts and a small paper. By the way, I am taking online classes---which is a serious hit or miss with me. One semester I would be 100% on point, and the next thing I know, I'm 100% off point. I have no idea what is going on with me. I sit down to do my homework and it's like I suddenly am suffering from that sleeping disease. I try to read the material and I cannot comprehend a damn word. I set schedules for myself and even sketch out when everything is due and when I should start my reading broken down by chapter for what day...and I do *none* of it. And when I fall behind, I freak out so bad that I literally shut down and go through mild depression and just pretty much just want to quit everything. Literally. Work, School, Life and would rather just watch the wall or something while curled up in bed and not move.

I have paper work from the neuro-psychologist that clearly states *yes*---old girl has ADHD. My Primary Care physician has upped my dose from 30 mg to 40 mg of my methalphenidate (instead of Ritalin since the state of Arkansas is treating such medications and those who need it as if we are all stone head meth addicts or something...I don't know!) but I can't start it until I finish my current refill of 30 mg. It's such a pain in the **** with insurance companies that puts a hold on your refill because the dosage of your script changes. Plus finding a pharmacy here that carries methalphenidate in ANY dose is like attempting to find an invisible needle in a hay stack.

I need *help*. I need advise. I can't keep telling my professors "sorry I am such a flake. I freak out the second I start to fall behind and that is why I am now *three* weeks behind and nothing to show for........please accept my late work?? :o:o " I guess I could, it's not like I am faking ADHD but I am so tired of how my ADHD has just taken over my damn life. And to just go on yet another RANT----in this very moment, I am upset with how I am allowing ADHD to take over my life...I promise like a day or two, I be in this euphoric state of mind of "Oh yay! Nothing is bothering me! I've got my ADHD *under control*!! LA LA LA Let's pick flowers from the field now!! YAY!!" I hate that roller coaster darn near manic depressive way my emotions roll.

Okay....It's 1 am. I'm going to go back to finishing my post that was due 2 hours ago. :confused:

Little Missy
11-08-14, 03:50 AM
love, love, LOVE your avatar, it tells the whole story!

11-10-14, 09:17 AM
For me ADHD and college are fairly self-hatred inducing, so it is more like ADHD + College = I hate myself.

11-10-14, 12:56 PM
I hated... HATED online classes when I was in college. I could never keep up with them ever. My problem with them was that I couldn't focus on the reading material and the papers that I had to write I couldn't focus to say what I needed to say in them.

This may or may not be an option, but I had a good friend who would help me write papers. I would put down the main points what I wanted to say and then we would work together in making everything make sense. In other words, I would provide all the meat of the paper and she would provide all the fluff. Once we started that I was getting everything in on time and my grades went back up.

11-11-14, 04:17 PM
Online classes were so bad for me....ended up in tears from them quite often. :(

11-11-14, 04:19 PM
Do you have a friend you can get together with to do work together? Maybe that would help motivate you.

I find trying to have something positive WITH the work helps me want to get setting up a really cozy place in my room and wearing cozy clothing, and like making a cup of hot chocolate and having nice music playing or something. Then you can sort of feel like, oh yay! I'm excited to get started on work because work means I get to get all cozy. (Though then you have to watch out for falling asleep while reading which I also do)

11-14-14, 03:46 AM
Well, I try and keep it interesting. I even try and have a change of scene when I sit down to study or do my's just not *working*!! Once I start to slip behind, I panic and have anxiety and I just slip further and further behind because I am freaking out. Stuff just snowballs so quickly on me. My solution can't always be "withdrawing from the class", because I am receiving partial financial aide to attend school. And my question is, How do you handle it? How do you handle the snowball as it's rolling rapidly down the hill? Because when I am this panicked, honestly, nothing gets done. I think I am doing all this work, and in truth, it just seems like nothing is getting produced.

Does anyone else ever go through something like this? I honestly can't believe that only a few of us suffers with school to this degree.......

11-17-14, 11:19 AM
I do the same thing. I'm a senior in college this year, and (if all holds well) this will be the first semester that I haven't failed at least one class. Seeing those failing grades makes you feel like a failure; you want to succeed, you've made a plan, but you just can't get there. It's like it's on the other side of a glass wall and it is so frustrating. But hang in there! Know your limits; if you can only take 2 classes at a time, don't try to squeeze in that extra class. Try a non-stimulant medication. I know that my methalphenidate made things worse sometimes - especially anxiety and self-criticism. I started having panic attacks because I was so stressed. by my seeming inability to do what 'normal' people could. And just know that you aren't crazy. You aren't stupid. You are brilliant and you have loads of ability. It's just that you also have a disablity that makes it incredibly hard to use all that talent. Talk with your professors and let them know. Maybe ask them to give you deadlines that are earlier than the other students (but don't tell you how early or you'll likely procrastinate. Been there, done that.) Since you have a diagnosis, talk with the office of disabilities at your school and see what resources they can give too. Maybe they have a program already in place that can help, you know?