View Full Version : Post-Diagnosis Grief Shame and Regret


rot112
11-09-14, 06:40 PM
I was diagnosed on the first of November and I am feeling the stages of Post-Diagnosis Grief.

I am on Adderall XR since Nov 3 and it definitely treats my ADD-PI for the time it is effective. Though my diagnosis does not fix my past.

Graduate High school at 16 and have an IQ of 135, was told I had a lot of potential when I was young but I could never focus long enough for it to be effective.

I transferred into my University with a 3.3 GPA. Though if you look at my transcript you'll notice it took me 4 years to accumulate 65 credits. Why? Because I kept withdrawing from my courses because I could never study effectively without getting extremely distracted.

I go away to Uni as an Undeclared student intending to major in CompSci thinking I had my focus issues under control. Though with all the activities that happen in dorms and on campuses I became extremely bogged down and exhausted trying to keep with everything mentally.

I became so stressed I threw up one day because of it and became very very depressed for a good while. My ADD-PI symptoms became overwhelming and I ended with a 2.4 GPA only because anxiety made me study despite my head aches and brain fog.

I am now most likely going to FAIL TWO OF MY CLASSES out of the THREE that I am taking. I will be transferring out a third time to another school while I still have a decent cumulative GPA from my old school to get into the their Software Engineering program.

Had I gone to a Psychiatrist during the summer and started this semester with medication and self-awareness of my condition I would be so much better off.

I am now studying better than I ever have. I'm calmer, more patient and more aware while I am on medication. I can focus and I can see the reason behind the concepts and their application in class without getting frustrated.

It is not a fix all but it is like putting on glasses while I need them. But I feel so guilty and ashamed that I waited this long to go see a Psych and get diagnosed. I have to leave all my friends here, my girlfriend,and my roommate because I have a disorder.

Why should I keep studying this semester if I already dug my self in such a deep hole. Medication and treatment won't change my already failing grades and years of wasted time transferring and taking semesters off.

Do I just wait this semester out and fail all my classes and explain to my next School that I was diagnosed with ADHD mid semester when it was already too late?...what do I do.

Graduate HS in 2010 and I am 21 by the way.

Pilgrim
11-21-14, 07:42 AM
A lot of people here have wasted half or all of their lives due to this disorder. Your a kid pick up the pieces and get on with it. If you've got a great iq you'll figure it out.