Ok, I'm from a small town in the south. I ticked off a sociopath, and when you tick off one, you've ticked them all off. What I did, to me, was miniscule compared to the punishment. I could not get an apartment, was told to worry about the doctors I visited, etc. because they were included in the little sociopathic ring. I even got a B instead of an A in a college class because the teacher was a sociopath. They shot a bee bee through my window, etc. just basically hassled me however they could for years. My manager was one of them, she told me she would fire me if she could. Like four towns full of sociopaths hate me now. Has anyone else experienced this? And how did you end it? All I did was go out on a double date and then get in a really bad mood and say some mean stuff about the people we were out with, who turned out to be sociopaths. I apologized for it, but they would not accept my apology, and went to my manager first, then spread it all over 3 towns.

I don't know what to tell you. Some people do have a real problem relating to others, and sometimes it's one particular type of person. I don't have the whole story so I can't give concrete advice. I can recommend the books listed in the thread here at the top of the section "Sticky: Everything you wanted to know about relationships...". Sometimes we ADDers do have a hard time relating to others, and it's tough for anyone to always know how to handle a conflict with others, especially when they seem to be the unreasonable ones. I hope you find a way to work things out.

That is excellent advice, Eyeforgot.

CS

First of all, it is easy to see people as sociopaths when you are ADD. We often do not understand the rules of the culture and that affects the way we view other's treatment of us...

That being said... real sociopaths do prey on ADDers through being bullys....read the sticky like eyeforgot said there is a link in one of them to a great site on sociopaths. Make sure you are really dealing with one before you assume they are (this usually is repeated singling out, harassment and verbal abuse)

Here is my view on sociopaths:


Sociopaths are skilled cultural navigators that use the culture to get what they desire (power). They are always on the lookout for people that cannot scale the "cultural ladder". ADD fits this and is even better for the sociopath because not only is the ADDer a good target for scapegoating...the ADDer is usually quite smart and has a special power that the sociopath feels they can usurp by beating the ADDer...

I can sense sociopaths and know how to trick them... my father was one, I learned early. If you can think of people as shapes, textures and colors...the sociopath is dark smooth and inscrutable.... remember that and avoid them when you can.

If you can't, Aikido is the best path to trip them...let the weight of their own ego take them down. Smile, be calm, feign being defeated... look down to the ground with a sad look, then look them directly in the eyes with a wry grin. They will not bug you again. Never use words with them...they are masters at language.

Never be a victim.

Yes, I know all about them and more. My father was one also. I know that's who I'm dealing with, as everyone knows who they are in our area. They are pack animals. You make one angry, you've made them all angry. And it's kinda scary because some of them are criminals. So I don't know what to do about it.

And where is that small town? Just so I don't drive through it sometime..
Nova

Dizzling-I am curious as to where "they" are located too. My brother and his wife live in the bay area as well, and when I visit them I would like to make sure I avoid this area.

On another note...holy bananas Bat Man, that is scary!!!

That is scary! I have run into my share but they were solitary bullies in search of easy prey. I sure was for my father! Luckily he was not a violent one. My ex wife's father is one as well. Bad, bad, bad. They have no remorse, just self interest.

Chain

I Am Interested In Your Description Ofr Socio Paths As Dark Insrutible And Smooth, Please Take It A Step Further And Educate More On The Socio Path And How You Detect Them. I'm Fascinated With What You Started Explaining. Thanks

Jon

Speaking of sociopaths:

My ex-housemate is one. It has been 5 years since we shared a house. During that time, she stole from me, made moves on me (I'm straight.), tore up my mail, and physically assaulted me to the point that I had to call the police.

And what did I do to her? The best I can figure out, I made it clear I wasn't attracted to her and asked her not to talk to me during the evening news cast.

Today, I saw her in the book store. I told myself over and over: "I am not going to be scared. I am not going to let the mere presence of this woman drive me from Barnes and Noble." So I simply found another section of the bookstore to read.

When I left the mall, my car rode funny. A passenger in another car informed me that I had two very low rear tires. My, that was odd. I had just checked my tire pressure yesterday. When I pulled into a gas station to get air, I found that both tires were nearly flat. The little cap do-jiggies that keep the air in were all loose.

It is rather scary when someone that weird hates you that much.

I can't prove a thing.

A sociopath doesn't have the same emotional language that most of us share. In fact they feel nothing for anyone but themselves. You would know if you were crossing a true sociopath. They would as soon kill you as butter their bread.

On the other hand there are lots of chicken****s in the world that do stuff like let air out of tires. Those people just try to make themselves feel better by making other people miserable. Mostly because all they really have is their own misery to share.

Nah, there are tons of sociopaths motorbrain. I dated 5 of them, and my father was one. They don't want to kill necessarily, although they will if it serves their own self interests. Psychopaths are the ones that are driven to murder. Coral, that's about the same crap they do. Let the air out of your tires, spread rumors about you, etc. over things you find trivial. They are weirdos.

There aren't that many of them in the Bay Area.... I was in the south when this happened. They pretty much run the southern states.

Chain

I Am Interested In Your Description Ofr Socio Paths As Dark Insrutible And Smooth, Please Take It A Step Further And Educate More On The Socio Path And How You Detect Them. I'm Fascinated With What You Started Explaining. Thanks

Jon
This is pretty strange but although I often have a hard time understanding people in the communication sense (ie I do not know what they want from me and what I am supposed to give them). I do have a very strong sense of people's deep makeup. Whether there is something really wrong.

Since all of my memory is context of experiences... I have several extra contexts for people. I do not know if it is a skill but it is pure intuition (in my mind intuition is extreme context).

I close my eyes and think of a person and see in my minds eye, color shapes and textures. I have done this since I was a child. I had some very bad adults in my life and started to see hidden patterns in behavior. I probably assigned these patterns visual concepts... My closest ADD friend says she has something similar with music.

I really think that it takes "calming the mind" and hooking in to you intuition about people. We may not understand people in the social context (we have very poor cultural sense) but we do have excellent intuition and we ignore it at our peril. Sociopaths are tricky... they know how to pepper you with affirming language. They often are accomplished social climbers so we feel "hey, I am becoming socially acceptable because this person likes me".

I have almost been taken in but my intuition kicked in and I felt them... The colors, shapes and textures are really deep in and they feeling based. With NPD and Sociopaths, I see smooth first. NPD is then bright a flashy with changing colors, the shapes change from sharp angles to smoother ones. Sociopaths do not change. They are steady and hard to read...smooth = their lack of "self esteem issues". They glide through society. Sometimes they talk about things that seem cruel, but they explain these things in a way that makes them seem justified... this is black. Inscrutable... they cannot be read emotionally. I can read people on a deep emotional level (not the level that they show the world) and 2 types are inscrutable... Alcoholics even if they do not have problems with drinking, (they usually just take longer to understand but are ok people) and Sociopaths (they are impossible to read).

Anyone else do something like this?

Ok, Chain, you hooked me!!! :D

By you last statement, Sociopaths are impossible to read emtionally, is this stating that all ppl, unreadable emtionally are sociotpaths?

I find this color and shape thing you do fascinating. I would like to hear more if you have the time.

Ok, Chain, you hooked me!!! :D

By you last statement, Sociopaths are impossible to read emtionally, is this stating that all ppl, unreadable emtionally are sociotpaths?

I find this color and shape thing you do fascinating. I would like to hear more if you have the time.
Typically for me they are. I can see pretty deep (actually only deep...I often cannot pick up subtle social cues. )Introverts would seem the most difficult to read but they are often the easiest. Extroverts have clear masks and once you de-mask them... they are easy to understand. There are no masks with sociopaths... they often have fake masks... ones that they know they are using. One really scary mask they will don, is the mask of the person they are talking to. With ADD, I have seen one sociopath that my ADD woman friend get involved with actually claim that he was ADD. I would imagine that some lurk in support forums looking for prey. They really get off on the power trip, so they will go where they can find people who are trying to help themselves. NPD people do this too. <creepy music playing> It is so hard with e-mail. You never know what you are getting. The most important thing is if you feel really upset about something a person does or says and they act flippant about it..that is a warning sign. The site in the sticky about internet bullies is great!

The color thing is so hard to explain. I really don't know if I can teach it... but you may have it too. Think about people you know. Close your eyes and see if images like color come along... maybe a person who is always angry might be red...so on. Just try it with every person you meet. Intuition is vital!

A sociopath doesn't have the same emotional language that most of us share. In fact they feel nothing for anyone but themselves. You would know if you were crossing a true sociopath. They would as soon kill you as butter their bread.

On the other hand there are lots of chicken****s in the world that do stuff like let air out of tires. Those people just try to make themselves feel better by making other people miserable. Mostly because all they really have is their own misery to share.
Motorbrain, my ex-husband was a sociopath. I lived with him for 17 years. I lived with the former housemate for a few months, but in behavior, her resemblence to my ex was pretty apparent.

It is one thing to let the air out of a person's tires so that in the morning they wake up to flats. (But it is still a very hostile act.) It is another thing to do that when the only exit from the mall is a very busy main road. A car's safety depends on its tires.

You do not know immediately if you are crossing the path of a true sociopath. They do not wear a scarlet S. They have every reason to hide their intentions. They are most often clever, if not intelligent, and they feed on negative emotions like revenge and envy.

I just recently read a book on them, in which the author asserts that about 4% of people are sociopaths, so they are not uncommon. Most of them don't kill anyone because murder is not to their advantage. Many who do kill have other things wrong with them.

However, they do do enormous emotional damage to others. If they have leadership qualities, they can lead others who are not necessarily sociopaths into criminal behavior.

They come from all walks of life. My ex-housemate is a Head Start teacher. :rolleyes:

There aren't that many of them in the Bay Area.... I was in the south when this happened. They pretty much run the southern states.
Redneck behavior and sociopathy are not the same thing. Sexist behavior and sociopathy are not the same thing. Racism and sociopathy are not the same thing.

If you want to tar the southern states, would you please post a link to some evidence.

You do not know immediately if you are crossing the path of a true sociopath. They do not wear a scarlet S. They have every reason to hide their intentions. They are most often clever, if not intelligent, and they feed on negative emotions like revenge and envy.
Agreed... even with my ability to sense them, it often takes a while.


They come from all walks of life. My ex-housemate is a Head Start teacher. :rolleyes:In fact I have found a higher number of them in the "helping professions"...easy prey there.

I heard 1 percent but 4 might be more realistic. I do sense them quite a lot... When you think about it, around 1 in 20 is lots of people. I meet lots of ADDers at 5 percent...and there are groupings in professions.

I sense one of my sons daycare providers is... he is a hippie with dreadlocks. He is nice to every teacher and parent but I think he knows I see deeper in him. He trys to lock me out mentally when I am around. Lucky my son is transferring soon.

These unseen things are a bit freaky and seem paranormal but you can see the patterns if you look.

Ok, Chain, you hooked me!!! :D

By you last statement, Sociopaths are impossible to read emtionally, is this stating that all ppl, unreadable emtionally are sociotpaths?

I find this color and shape thing you do fascinating. I would like to hear more if you have the time.
Crazymama,

There are other disorders that can make people hard to read. People on the Autism Spectrum can be hard to read. People with diseases related to Schizophrenic disorders can be hard to read. Some medication can cause people to have a flat affect which is hard to read.

Chain gave a really good example of sociopathic behavior when he said that if they do you damage or a bad turn, they blow it (and you) off. They see all their behavior as justified by what benefits them. What is good for you simply isn't on their radar screen.

I have found the attitudes of sociopaths toward apologizing rather interesting. They either apologize very glibly and shallowly or they refuse to every offer an apology. But it they think they are due one, watch out! They will demand it.

I currently have a sort of occasional work relationship with a woman who I believe is a sociopath. She is extremely dynamic. Ms. Personality Kid! She is in a helping profession and she is the first to tell you that she is doing people a lot of good. But she does this for her own benefit and improve her position and resume. She does lots of harm. However, the mentally ill consumers that she serves generally never know what hits them. She has found a position where she has little scrutiny by superiors and lots of control over how she presents herself.

As a writer, I find her absolutely fascinating, but I keep my distance emotionally. Because they are significant part of the population, we often have to work with them or deal with them. Here's few good rules:

1. Avoid them socially and don't let them get close to people in your social circle if you can help it.

2. Document your work with them so you get credit for your share -- or else they will take it all.

3. If you have to be around them, confide nothing personal. They will use it against you.

4. If you have to be around them, show no weakness. They will use it against you.

5. Don't incite their envy if you can help it. If they are envious, they will try to destroy what you have and take what you value.

6. Watch your back at all times.

As you can see, working with them is very difficult. However, nothing protects you like professional behavior. Keep your work and your personal life separate and you will have a much easier time when you do encounter one.

There is a type of language that you can use when you talk to them that is a sort of computer-speak. It is emotionless and patient. It gives them nothing to distort or use against you.

Of course, then they will say that you show no emotions. :rolleyes:

In fact I have found a higher number of them in the "helping professions"...easy prey there.
No kidding! Social work and case management attracts them like flies. This is one reason the people who most need our help are always being bullied. ;)

Great advice Coral!


As for the reading... Most people on the autism spectrum stick out to me because although it is hard to form relationships with them, I can see their inability to climb socially...that is the big thing. Asperger's feels grey at first with bright points of light. Even without the connection, I almost always sense something special.

Sociopaths are active instead of passive... so people on those kinds of meds are easy to cut out of the equation. Thorazine is one of those kind of drugs.

People with schizotypal, bipolar and schizophrenia, have logic imbalances. They are constantly changing their points of reference...BPD is most difficult of these for me.

The reality distortion field is how I see the sociopath and the NPD. If you feel your personal reality of self and place being distorted by a person, that is another sign.

Great advice Coral!

Thanks. I learned it all the hard way. :faint:

Chain, would you call your ability a type of seeing auras?

To no one in particular,

I guess I just have a different perspective on what makes up a sociopath. There are two brand of sociopaths to me - the violent and non-violent.

Since I've had people shoot at me, try to stab me and wave guns in my face (no, not all at once) my idea of a sociopath is someone that isn't all that concerned about someone else's well being... specifically mine. :)

Because of my experience, the little stuff put out by the non-violent types - like someone trying to undermine me, always provides me with some amusement. Sure, sometime they score - but once you determine who they are they are easy to manage. When they want you to fear - laugh. When they try to make you fail - succeed. When they want you to react - don't. Sociopaths suffer from loneliness, self esteem issues and god knows how many sources of emotional pain. Those issues can also be leveraged to back them off - or make them feel worse. Most of the time by messing with you they are trying to make you part of their world - nothing is more painful to them than being ignored.

Now, there are tons of people out there that have sociopathic traits (heck I'm an INTJ at work) but shared traits do not a sociopath make. Correlation does not imply causality.

The idea that there are fulltime sociopaths on every street in America seems pretty silly to me. The book "The Sociopath Next Door" is a great example of someone putting their thumb in the wind and *guessing* what the percentage of the population is sociopathic.

Some folks, plain and simple are just jerks. I know plenty of them and I'm ashamed to admit that sometimes I am one of them. I'm sure that my interaction with some folks could be considered sociopathic as that's the only interaction that they may have had with me. First and only impressions do define you.

But there seems to be a general POV here and elsewhere that almost any behavior can be attributed to an archetype.

Bob is a sociopath
Billy is a psychotic
Randy is a co-dependant abuser
Joey is a sex addict with mommie issues

That sort of rigidity doesn't do us any favors and diminishes one of our species greatest strengths - flexibility. Everything that we do is situational. Almost all of us have had to go beyond ourselves at some point to survive (physically and emotionally). I'm not making excuses for the behavior but labels sure are getting attached pretty quickly.

My point is that it looks like a very broad brush is being used to color people... and that just makes me very nervous.

Thanks. I learned it all the hard way. :faint:

Chain, would you call your ability a type of seeing auras?No... not so much that...although I think I can see those... but I am not really sure what it is I am seeing... I see "auras" around all living things and tend to block it out. It takes a bit of doing to see that and being a sceptic, I am just not ready to confirm it as a paranormal thing.

What I see is after I meet them and is not visual per se... It is seeing feelings and senses about a person. It is very odd but I definitely do this and have since I was very young. I get lots of feelings from people but they are often things that people are hiding... even from themselves. It is a bit embarrassing to bring it up in a public forum, because it just sounds plain nuts. It may be related to synesthesia..which is abundantly found in ADD and autism. (I also associate colors with numbers and letters)

My "pet" theory is that on this side of the spectrum... we are very close to animals (in our cognition). Animals have a very keen sense of who to trust...even out of their own species. I can sense animals too.

I mostly leave it below awareness unless I need to put someone in a position of trust. At that point, I do what I call "scanning them". I have felt other people do that with me.

I think sociopaths may have this ability as well.

In the end, what we don't know is vastly more than what we do!

Redneck behavior and sociopathy are not the same thing. Sexist behavior and sociopathy are not the same thing. Racism and sociopathy are not the same thing.

If you want to tar the southern states, would you please post a link to some evidence. I never claimed any of these. I only said I was in the south when it happened. I have lived in the south for 34 years, and I know how things are run in the small towns I lived in. I don't have any evidence, only experience. Since I have moved to the south bay, I have experienced quite a different environment. The bay area is a progressive area, and the south is backward and all screwed up. Just my opinion based on experience. And if I want to "tar" the southern states, which in my opinion, only includes stating my opinion and not "tarring" anything, I have every right to do so, without presenting any evidence.

To motorbrain: 4% is a low number, I believe. But I have spent my whole life immersed in their lifestyle. I dated them, was raised by one, hung out with them. They all know when they see another one of their own kind. There is an instant kinship there. They will stick up for one another, no matter what. I knew who they were where I lived, and it was at least 4%. And yes, they are attracted to "helping" professions, teachers, professors, social work, psychiatry, policemen, and sales professions. My ex was a musician, and there are tons of them in that profession as well. He would always say the musicians in town who were not sociopaths "didn't know what it was all about".

No... not so much that...although I think I can see those... but I am not really sure what it is I am seeing... I see "auras" around all living things and tend to block it out. It takes a bit of doing to see that and being a sceptic, I am just not ready to confirm it as a paranormal thing.

What I see is after I meet them and is not visual per se... It is seeing feelings and senses about a person. It is very odd but I definitely do this and have since I was very young. I get lots of feelings from people but they are often things that people are hiding... even from themselves. It is a bit embarrassing to bring it up in a public forum, because it just sounds plain nuts. It may be related to synesthesia..which is abundantly found in ADD and autism. (I also associate colors with numbers and letters)

My "pet" theory is that on this side of the spectrum... we are very close to animals (in our cognition). Animals have a very keen sense of who to trust...even out of their own species. I can sense animals too.

I mostly leave it below awareness unless I need to put someone in a position of trust. At that point, I do what I call "scanning them". I have felt other people do that with me.

I think sociopaths may have this ability as well.

In the end, what we don't know is vastly more than what we do!
Don't be embarrassed. I think it is fascinating. And after all, this isn't the Skeptic Magazine forum or something. In fact, synesthesia is the word that came to my mind when I read your previous post. Also, it occurred to me that you may have found a useful, shorthand way of characterizing people that you meet, using color and shape as metaphor.

I don't do this, but I do get a pretty good scan on people anymore, partly due to working with people with all kinds of disabilities. An example, I was supposed to develop (help find) a job for a consumer with whom I felt very uncomfortable. He almost reeked hostility towards women with authority. He preferred a job as a maintaince worker in a school. I listened to my "sense" of him and looked him up on the sexual offender's list. There he was!

There is a fascinating new book out on intuition and "thin slicing" called Blink by Malcolm Gladwell. The author has done quite a bit of research that supports the value of quick decision making based upon intuition. It is very readable and you might enjoy it.

What I know is that every time I have ignored that felt sense within when it comes to people, I have lived to regret it. In fact, sometimes, I was lucky I lived at all. I believe that this is because my more rational, intellectual side wars with my intuition. Finally, I am learning which side to listen to when it comes to first meeting people.

I think sociopaths (the intelligent ones anyway) do scan for weakness the way a predatory animal scans for prey.

I never claimed any of these. I only said I was in the south when it happened. I have lived in the south for 34 years, and I know how things are run in the small towns I lived in. I don't have any evidence, only experience. Since I have moved to the south bay, I have experienced quite a different environment. The bay area is a progressive area, and the south is backward and all screwed up. Just my opinion based on experience. And if I want to "tar" the southern states, which in my opinion, only includes stating my opinion and not "tarring" anything, I have every right to do so, without presenting any evidence.

To motorbrain: 4% is a low number, I believe. But I have spent my whole life immersed in their lifestyle. I dated them, was raised by one, hung out with them. They all know when they see another one of their own kind. There is an instant kinship there. They will stick up for one another, no matter what. I knew who they were where I lived, and it was at least 4%. And yes, they are attracted to "helping" professions, teachers, professors, social work, psychiatry, policemen, and sales professions. My ex was a musician, and there are tons of them in that profession as well. He would always say the musicians in town who were not sociopaths "didn't know what it was all about".
I once lived in a town with 60 people total. I do know something about small town small-mindedness. However, sociopathy is a disorder and I do not think there is any more of it in small towns than big cities or in the south than the bay area. I am afraid that if you think this way, you may be rudely surprised. People in small towns can be narrow, judgmental, and clannish. If they decide you do not fit their small town values for one reason or another, they can get quite ugly. This is not the same as sociopathy. Sociopaths have one value: Themselves.

I once lived in a town with 60 people total. I do know something about small town small-mindedness. However, sociopathy is a disorder and I do not think there is any more of it in small towns than big cities or in the south than the bay area. I am afraid that if you think this way, you may be rudely surprised. People in small towns can be narrow, judgmental, and clannish. If they decide you do not fit their small town values for one reason or another, they can get quite ugly. This is not the same as sociopathy. Sociopaths have one value: Themselves. Yea, I know all about sociopaths. How many times do I have to say that? I do understand what you are saying. However, in the towns I lived in, the cops were all sociopaths, and you couldn't even find a doctor that wasn't a sociopath. So yes, they did run the town. If you somehow made one of them angry, they would pass around rumors about you to the other sociopaths so that suddenly, you could not rent an apartment (since the agents were sociopaths), get a doctor's appointment, find a job, or go into a gas station or bar without being harrassed. They literally ran the towns. That is why I started this thread, because I was harrassed so badly in these towns because I had to send my ex to jail, and he was a sociopath. The bay area is progressive, the doctors here went to better colleges, have better credentials, and it is so expensive to live here, it pretty much weeds out the loser types. The nation's and some of the world's top companies exist here. People here are more open-minded and more intelligent, in general. Sociopaths like to stay in areas where they are pedestalized and where the laws are not so strict, such as the small southern towns, or in the central valley here in California, where there are rows upon rows of expensive houses where bookies and drug dealers live, and all the cops are sociopaths, so they can feel free to do their deeds and they don't get caught. The town I just left, Myrtle Beach, SC, I would estimate being 50% sociopaths at least. They crowd into areas where their behavior is more tolerated, and it's just not tolerated here in San Jose. If my ex would've thrown a bottle and hit me in the head here, he would've gone to jail for 10 years. There, he got probation. So you can see why, there is no way he would move here. Their behaviors are just not tolerated here. This city has been named the safest city in the US. And you can get sued for anything and everything, there are so many laws. I'm not saying there are no sociopaths here, there are. But the ones that are here are on their best behavior. And they don't have any control here.

I'm sorry you had such a bad experience. I'm glad you live in a safer place and I hope things are going better for you there.

I appreciate Coral Rhedd's advice in post #20. The only way to be safe is to recognize the pattern of behavior and do what you can to not be sucked into their influence.

I cannot begin to know how one gets geographical data on something like this. That seems like an impossible task, since it's hard enough to get statistics on drug and alcohol abuse/recovery accurately from each state. (the latter my husband does for a living and I hear the frustrations on a regular basis) Mental health, undiagnosed and unrecognized (or just plain ignored) can't be tracked, only an impression of one's experience can lead you to conclusions of where you'd be safest to live.

I hope you have found a sense of peace.

Wow you just express very well , what i am going thrue, or what i have been going thrue all my life. I think that is why i was a very shy kid, always hiding away from people. I always sense a lot from someone, and like you say it's stuff sometimes they dont even aknowledge consciously or not. When i was younger i think i just could not deal with those emotions that i felt from people, so it scared me, and people for me were scary when i was a kid.

Exemple, Just like last week, i started working at this place a month ago, and one of the girls came back from lunch, and right away i felt a tremendous joy from her, and it jsut came out of my mouth, and i said, '' your daughter is pregnant''. Her daughter does not have a bf, so she was very suprise i said that. But she was , and she just had find out during lunch. It's like people energy's overwhelmed me, . I dont know, like you say it almost sounds nuts, but it happens. When i meet someone for the first time, in a few seconds i already know a lot about this person.



No... not so much that...although I think I can see those... but I am not really sure what it is I am seeing... I see "auras" around all living things and tend to block it out. It takes a bit of doing to see that and being a sceptic, I am just not ready to confirm it as a paranormal thing.

What I see is after I meet them and is not visual per se... It is seeing feelings and senses about a person. It is very odd but I definitely do this and have since I was very young. I get lots of feelings from people but they are often things that people are hiding... even from themselves. It is a bit embarrassing to bring it up in a public forum, because it just sounds plain nuts. It may be related to synesthesia..which is abundantly found in ADD and autism. (I also associate colors with numbers and letters)

My "pet" theory is that on this side of the spectrum... we are very close to animals (in our cognition). Animals have a very keen sense of who to trust...even out of their own species. I can sense animals too.

I mostly leave it below awareness unless I need to put someone in a position of trust. At that point, I do what I call "scanning them". I have felt other people do that with me.

No, I have the same abilities. You can feel the energies exuding from people. I have also had moments of extra-sensory perception. There is no denying that I could read my ex without him saying a word, I could even tell him events that had happened that he didn't tell me. Of course he wanted to write it off to something else, but there's no way you could in a few occasions especially. I can't be around people that give off negative vibes. They make me physically sick. I couldn't be in my sister's wedding because she and her fiancee made me so physically ill I had to go to the hospital.

Chain and Coral,

I am also fascinated with this ability. Unfortunately, I do not see colors, or anything of that nature either. But I can get a "fix" on someone. And like you said Coral, when it was ignored, I regretted it some time later.

I would really like to be more in touch with this subject. Learn more about how to recongnise it, utilize it, trust it. I am just all a "flutter" thinking about it now.

On another post, chain talked about animals and links to them and ADDer's. It never dawned on me that these two may be related. I thought I just had some kind of "radar" that would speak to them, and visa versa. Children are like that with me too, but only when I want that bond to take place. And they know it, intuitively.

I also thought the animal thing had something to do with acceptance too. They accepted me for who I was and I them. We didnt need to "talk" to understand each other or to bond. It always seemed to just be there. Unquestioned.

I also never gave sociopaths much thought either. When I would hear the word sociopath, I would think, Dahmer, Gein, son of Sam etc. Not ppl I could and would come into contact with daily.

Now I am starting to see more clearly just who the sociopaths may be. Mostly it is due to ppl's reaction to me. I can make anyone smile. Anyone who is not a sociopath that is. Coupled with that inability, and other tell tale signs, I know a few sociopaths, and am quite scared.

Good thing I only share the really important stuff with a VERY select few.

Anywhoooo...Coral and Chain, please continue. This is goooooood stuuufffff!!!

Thanks guys!

Yea, I know all about sociopaths. How many times do I have to say that? I do understand what you are saying. However, in the towns I lived in, the cops were all sociopaths, and you couldn't even find a doctor that wasn't a sociopath. So yes, they did run the town. If you somehow made one of them angry, they would pass around rumors about you to the other sociopaths so that suddenly, you could not rent an apartment (since the agents were sociopaths), get a doctor's appointment, find a job, or go into a gas station or bar without being harrassed. They literally ran the towns. That is why I started this thread, because I was harrassed so badly in these towns because I had to send my ex to jail, and he was a sociopath. The bay area is progressive, the doctors here went to better colleges, have better credentials, and it is so expensive to live here, it pretty much weeds out the loser types. The nation's and some of the world's top companies exist here. People here are more open-minded and more intelligent, in general. Sociopaths like to stay in areas where they are pedestalized and where the laws are not so strict, such as the small southern towns, or in the central valley here in California, where there are rows upon rows of expensive houses where bookies and drug dealers live, and all the cops are sociopaths, so they can feel free to do their deeds and they don't get caught. The town I just left, Myrtle Beach, SC, I would estimate being 50% sociopaths at least. They crowd into areas where their behavior is more tolerated, and it's just not tolerated here in San Jose. If my ex would've thrown a bottle and hit me in the head here, he would've gone to jail for 10 years. There, he got probation. So you can see why, there is no way he would move here. Their behaviors are just not tolerated here. This city has been named the safest city in the US. And you can get sued for anything and everything, there are so many laws. I'm not saying there are no sociopaths here, there are. But the ones that are here are on their best behavior. And they don't have any control here.

Welcome to the hood! Be aware that there are some pretty evil folks here. But there are evil folks no matter where you go.

Now don't dis too many central valley folks. A great number of them commute to the valley everyday and live in those nice homes. Why? Because a 1800 square foot dot in the Rosegarden area will run you more than 800K. Out there the land is cheaper.

Hanging in San Jo.

MB

Here is another thread that discusses our intuition talent.

http://www.addforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=4124&highlight=intuition

I knew in advance you were going to do that LOL...( tarot card reader smile :rolleyes: )

Thank Vanna fishy :D

Must have been my ADD intuitiveness. (good grief, what a word to spell)

Welcome to the hood! Be aware that there are some pretty evil folks here. But there are evil folks no matter where you go.

Now don't dis too many central valley folks. A great number of them commute to the valley everyday and live in those nice homes. Why? Because a 1800 square foot dot in the Rosegarden area will run you more than 800K. Out there the land is cheaper.

Hanging in San Jo.

MB Hey thanks for the welcome. I know it's not that cut and dry... but there are major differences from say, the Bronx and Hollywood, lol, which was my point. Of course there are going to be good people in Central Valley and **** people in Rosegarden. But, the 800k kinda weeds out the real losers, which was my point. It's just harder for them to exist here, so they avoid it, for the most part. It's more of an in-general statement. I don't know if you've ever been to the south, but man is it so much better here than where I came from. Women have it so much better here.

This is a fascinating thread...and I appreciate chain's comments about seeing the color or shape of a person. I've never really heard someone else say something like that. I 'feel' people, their energy. I don't know how to explain it but there are some people that I'll meet and I'll immediately not like (they might be sociopaths, actually) and I'll be told, 'They're not that bad.' 'Come on, be nice.' No. I will have nothing to do with any of those people. They don't feel right.

And I'm not paranoid, but I swear if I'm in the same room as them, they're trying to see "into" me. (I get cold, almost.) So I always spend a ton of time wandering. The interesting thing is when my friends come back to me and say, 'Hey, you know so and so? Well, s/he is horrible! They stole my work idea. They did this that or the other.' And I'll say, 'I told you there was something there.' And my friends will say, 'But I was giving them the benefit of the doubt.' I can't do that. It's either right or not with me.

I'm real big on 'feeling' things. Once my SO and I were staying at a hotel. We had checked in, got showers, got ready to go out for the evening and everything was fine. When we got back that night and got ready for bed...something wasn't right in the room. It was dark and creepy, almost. I've felt like that a lot growing up, so I did what I did when I was a child. I said, 'If I'm meant to die tonight, I'll die. But I'm tired, so I'm going to sleep now.' :D

Anyway, I kept looking at this one corner of the room... sometime during the night, my SO woke up and cuddled me close. I apparently said (in my sleep) "Don't. He's watching." Ha...! That woke my SO right up who then woke me and said, 'What are you talking about?' Then went on to say the room 'felt' weird. Didn't sleep the rest of the night. Whatever was there energy wise/left over/whatever didn't like us or want us there. Blech.

I wonder if sociopaths and people with bad energy leave bad energy places and the others of us wade into it, or can the energy be sent? (I'm not crazy!) :o

I wonder if sociopaths and people with bad energy leave bad energy places and the others of us wade into it, or can the energy be sent? (I'm not crazy!) :o
Some feng shui people call this predecessor energy. However, I am a little skeptical. :p

Still, if a place made me really uncomfortable, I would listen to that feeling. Obviously, something made you uncomfortable. Maybe the room had a hidden video cam. :eek:

Aw GREAT! Now I'm gonna be paranoid all day!

Aw GREAT! Now I'm gonna be paranoid all day!
Just because you are paranoid does not mean that they are not out to get you!

Aw great! Now it's worse! This is a SUPPORT forum! You're not supposed to drive me CRAZIER than I already AM! Is that possible? Wait, let me discuss this with my other 5 personalities and get back to you.

rofl!

Aw great! Now it's worse! This is a SUPPORT forum! You're not supposed to drive me CRAZIER than I already AM! Is that possible? Wait, let me discuss this with my other 5 personalities and get back to you. Hrm, I'm glad I've managed to keep mine down to only two, which comprise my overall self (and actually create kind of a spectrum of one to the other which I move about). They're very different though,Pyron & Tonos...

Let's not stray off topic too far though. We were talking about "sociopaths", right? According to Wikipedia, the most official term is now "Antisocial Personality Disorder (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Antisocial_personality_disorder)". I think the new name does better to assert that they are just people lacking in the skills necessary for appropriate interaction with others (like proper manifestation of sympathy and such).

As for my encounters, I really don't think I've had many...

I've been lucky enough not to encounter many bully-ish people in my life. I suppose there have been a couple kids who wouldn't give up on being annoying, but I found them generally tolerable – at the worst, a verbal attack that stops hurting soon after its uttered. Those who were ever more annoying than that have since apologised (sincerely, I believe).

Then there are people who betray... but I've only met a couple, and that was just my getting scammed on an online game despite fearing exactly what was about to happen. Ah, well, it was nice to talk with them anyhow to reaffirm my fears (as I didn't mind losing mere virtual property).

So, I'll just take this as a polite warning never to ignore suspicions, even if I feel like I'm judging people too soon.

-But, I still agree that no-one should be quick to label anyone. Just take all suspicions as a reminder to be prepared.

See I have problems with placing New Terms to discribe things that already had a name that fit.

For instance, sociopath>anti-socail personality disorder.

I have been anti socail on occasion, does that mean I am one too?

I had a boatload of other examples, but they have escaped me for the time being. But so many things have been renamed to make them seem less important. Like the "Greenhouse effect", has now changed to "global warming." Global warming dont sound as dier does it. (To me it sounds like an explaination of the transition from winter to spring.)

"Shell Shock" turned into "Post traumatic stress disorder." I dont know about you, but "Shell shock" seems to lend a more serious tone to the disorder. And dont get me wrong, I am not saying PTSD does not sound serious, it just doesnt sound as serious as "Shell Shock."

On a simpler level, when you went to daytons, the nametag used to say, clerk, or casheir. Now they are all sales associates. Now that went the other way, but I think you get my meaning.

I think a sociopath should stay a sociopath. Anti-social personality disorder, sounds like something you can catch like the common cold.

Just a thought....or two.

I respect those thoughts, but would like to argue with their validity:

First, I don't see how you can make such points without insinuating that you don't like the name ADD either (...Are you...?). The way I see it, "disorder" in itself has come to mean something pretty serious, and never something one picks up easily.

And then again, some people say that "shell shock" was re-named for the very reason of having a less serious sounding name – a euphemism really.

"Global Warming" actually sounds serious enough to me, as it clearly depicts something unnatural. The change of seasons is hemispheric warming, but this is a matter of the whole planet heating up at once. "Greenhouse effect", on the other hand, sounds to me like a natural process of keeping the planet warm that may or may not have gone out of balance.

I'll agree with you on "sales associate" though; that sounds like an unnecessarily wordy alternative to a single, simpler word. For this reason only, I might come to agree with you on how silly the new name looks.

I love what you wrote about the colors and shapes of people. Sigh -- I swear it's only when I come on this site that I feel relaxed and like I am in a zone in which people understand me and I understand them without the exhausting work of explaining everything eight zillion times . . .

I have lived in a small southern town, so I know that there does seem to be an unusually large pool of weirdness there.

I LOVE what you said about sociopaths feeling as if they have "defeated" someone with ADD because we have a combination of sweetness and intelligence with the desire to please and be acceptable that they exploit.

I had a boss who was a sociopath (NPD, I think), a black man who I deflected by letting him think I was just a dingy young girl. I started dating a coworker who was black (I'm white) and my boss responded by "not-in-so-many-words" telling us that he would make our lives miserable if we continued dating, even though it was not against company policy. Turns out he had been pulling my then-boyfriend into his office for years to go on and on about what he would to the women in the office that he thought were attractive (yuck) even though he was married at the time.

I was a great worker, loved by my clients, but I had to date this coworker secretly for years to deflect this guy's ire. We both quit within several months of each other and finally ended up getting married. Since this boss just thought I was a dingy, talkative, spacey girl, he was FURIOUS when he found out that we had kept the relationship secret for years and got married. He couldn't believe that I had kept it secret from him and my coworkers for years. He beat me down emotionally for the last while that I worked there, but knowing that I had acted a part well enough to get him off my back -- well, that was delicious. For months after he found out we had married, he pulled our (then former) coworkers into his office and grilled them and told them they were liars when they said they didn't know about me and my husband.

Sometimes you just have to play the game of the sociopath and beat them at it!