View Full Version : I may have to drop out after 9+ years of college

11-26-14, 12:10 PM
It's a pretty difficult situation. I got stuck writing my final report and a few days I concluded that I'm too stuck to save myself - I contacted my study advisor to make an appointment to discuss all options I have to finish my studies. That conversation was today. These are the options I discussed with her:

1. Finishing this report after all (though something has to change because it's not working now)
2. Getting some points for the parts of this internship that are finished without having to finish the whole and doing a second internship to get the rest of the points
3. Doing a whole new internship
4. Dropping out of college without a degree (something I wouldn't like to see happening but it's time to accept this as an option)

She said those options would probably not be best (fortunately including the last one), she offered the following option

5. Not completing,doing a handful of courses in its place and finishing my studies in this way

I said that I'd like this option too. She said that she had to discuss this with the education committee. She'll also discuss whether or not the courses that I finished more than 6 years ago are still valid (they expire after this time). They can make an exception for this.

I explained very clearly that I see that my past was not ideal due to adhd, personal issues and some bad choices on my part (it's hard to make good choices when under all this stress), but that my life has improved a lot and that I want to move past judging myself for this (feeling all guilty and ashamed about it) and that I want to accept the past while focussing on what I can do now and on the future I want to build using this as my starting point. I said that I just want to be happy and live a meaningful life, and that having a degree in this field is important for me, because I am passionate about this. I think I got my points across.

Now I just have to wait. I hope I will get the opportunity to finish my studies.

If not, it will be really hard. I may move abroad, far away from this all and I hope I can find some meaning in my life anyways. But let's hope that's not necessary.

11-26-14, 01:22 PM
I'm sorry, how stressful. Hope it all works out!!!!!!!!! Fingers crossed!!!


11-26-14, 02:18 PM
I hope it works out for you too Jasper.

11-26-14, 02:28 PM
How are you stuck on the paper? Like you don't have enough data to complete it or you can't find the words to say what you need to?

11-26-14, 02:54 PM
I know it would be hard for you but my vote is that you stick it out and do what you have to do to graduate. You've come this far, don't give up now. Keep going.

Good luck!

11-26-14, 05:13 PM
I've had problems like this all the time, and have recently dropped out of college due to stress and being unable to concentrate on work. I sympathise with you completely, and wish you the very best.

11-26-14, 08:37 PM
Hope you can manage to finish at college and get the degree :grouphug:

11-27-14, 12:18 PM
Thanks for your support all of you!

Now that I have to wait on the decision of the education committee (whether or not they approve of my plan B) I don't have much to do for my studies, since I don't have to work on the report anymore (now that I've decided that I won't finish it). So... I give myself a break.

In a strange way I feel quite good. I mean, I know I did the right thing and somehow I've managed to let go of the shame and guilt about my past mistakes that have haunted me for almost a decade. It's rather unexpected, but I feel peaceful, happy, confident.

Of course it's still scary what the result will be. Like I said, it's possible that I won't be able to finish my studies. This would be a disaster, but it's clear that I can't do anything about it now. My past decisions got me here, but that was a much younger and naive version of me - not my current me, so I focus on making good decisions in the present and I allow myself to feel good about it.

So, these are the steps I've taken after the conversation:
1. I contacted my employer to tell them that I can work full time until early January (when the courses start) so I make use of the time that I have.
2. I've started reading study books and articles again to refresh some knowledge and as a warming up for the next months.
3. I've started thinking/reading about which courses I want to follow.
4. I've decided that I deserve a break; I allow myself to relax again (for example: by playing guitar), pursue some interests (like my triathlon training) and to go to nice activities (like student groups) without feeling guilty.
5. I've made an appointment with my psychologist to tell him about my decisions and to ask him for advice.
6. I've told my parents and 3 friends about my decisions and the conversations, so that I don't have to carry this alone. I feels good to be open about this.

So, overal I feel relieved and I feel like I am coming alive again. Now let's hope that I get the opportunity to finish by doing these courses. Actually I feel it's a really attractive option, I look forward to follow some courses again. I think I will enjoy it and I think it's a great opportunity to pick some relevant courses for my career.

I will work very hard and aim to get the highest grade of all for all courses! :D

11-28-14, 08:27 PM
I hope that you are able to finish but also very happy for you that there has been some resolution and you feel good about it.

Keep us posted!!

12-14-14, 03:09 PM
Hey, I hope this works out for you, You sound like you've worked so hard for this.

Hopefully they will help you finish your studies.