View Full Version : Pregnant...


b.gile
11-28-14, 10:47 PM
Had just been medicated for a few months before I became pregnant. Over the last two months (I'm three months along, and two months non-medicated) I've slowly become less functional. At first I was like "no medication, no problem", I was unmedicated the first 25 years of my life and not even medicated for long when I was.

I'd forgot why I finally went on medication and how I felt before. So here I am, about as functional as an old can of spam and I was not expecting this. Which is why it's got to the point of now being where I was a few years back in my progress with handling my adhd. I've been upset/disappointed/frustrated with myself today after finally realizing things are not so great adhd-wise. I also feel like it's an even bigger struggle because I can't self medicate with anything. I'm completely off caffeine for pregnancy, alcohol (of course), any special supplements (because there isn't much research for them regarding pregnancy, so i'm not taking any risk), and etc.

I'm back to only the daily tactics of to-do lists, specific morning routines, specific daily goals for each day, planned meals, timed hours for certain tasks, and the like. I'm feeling down. I now remember how bad it was before and I do NOT want to be there again.

I suppose this thread is to complain mostly (haha), but also hear similar stories, maybe get a few encouraging responses. I might also keep my struggles through this pregnancy with my adhd briefly detailed as time goes by. Actually, I will. It will keep me conscious of the adhd.

stef
11-29-14, 03:43 AM
Hello and first of all, congratulations :)

I'm not even diagnosed so your life of lists and routines is mine for the last few years and it's way better that not even knowing what's wrong!
you might be feeling more scattered and tired with the crazy hormones, too.

I know every pregnancy is different but you may find soon, your mind "slowing down" and being in a lovely state, of feeling things deeply, and more calmly, and well the most important thing to you will be this baby and taking care of both of you. it was really one of the most beautiful times of my life even though my husband was not with me a lot of the time ( differnt countries! its a long story) and i was trying to finish school so it was actually massive stress but i felt this amazing inner calm.

anyway just keep taking care of yourself as you have been and I really hope things get better for you. and when you feel your baby move for the first time, nothing else matters.

MrsNewton
12-06-14, 07:39 PM
Have to talked to your OB about how your feeling?

My OB has said that if I need to keep taking my meds, I can, at the lowest dose possible and when I feel I have to have them. Just FYI, I know its controversial and many OBs say no way, but depending on the med, and depending on your symptoms off of the meds, the benefits may outweigh the risk.

The risk with most stimulants isn't regarding development, but dependence after birth. She said I don't even need to start trying to reduse my dose until I am 12 weeks. It's something I've really had to do a lot of thinking about because I really don't do well off of the meds, and my clock is about to stop ticking.

lucylove1990
12-08-14, 12:40 PM
Look up l-tyrosine. I know some people that don't want to take prescription meds that use it. I DO NOT KNOW IF IT SAFE FOR PREGNANT WOMEN! So please don't take it without asking or doing research. I just know it's a non prescription alternative that supposedly helps.

Please don't be hard on yourself. Pregnancy is rough. Just do the best you can and be kind to yourself. Stress is the last thing you need while pregnant. I wish you all the best of luck with your pregnancy.

b.gile
12-08-14, 02:37 PM
@lucylove1900 i used to take tyrosine. honestly, not that effective for me (or at all). took it for a few months a year or two ago.

no worries, i'm not hard on myself (to a fault sometimes hehe). though was feeling down when i made the original post since the condition had snuck back up on me. i'm a very low stress individual. just frustrated sometimes.

@MrsNewton medication isn't necessary for me. long run, yes. short term, nah.

@stef thank you!

---

i pretty much had NO daily routines because i had just gone through a lot of life changes leading up to and including becoming pregnant. this also includes that for all intents and purposes, unemployed. so NO routines, hah.

a lot of my favorite things to do aren't things I can do while pregnant so a lot of boredom and aimlessness started to leak in. i've since replaced those things with a project that is a little slow moving right now but will be a very involved thing in the near future.

slow goings, but improvement. first and foremost have to stay conscious of each day.

b.gile
01-13-15, 03:21 PM
things are going well. i'm pretty calm and subdued compared to when i'm not pregnant. even family members have commented that i seem a lot more grounded. i'm not feeling upset or depressed at all. actually, i feel more accepting of what i do with my time more than ever. or really, i just don't care. likely because of my current subdued nature. :)

i'm doing what is given to me, which is great. but i'm failing to do anything i personally want to do. i'm not even trying to and i don't even care i'm not doing those things. i suppose i feel fulfilled without those things while i'm pregnant, because i am accomplishing something and moving towards a goal (growing a baby and then having one), and so i just fail to do anything else.

i think it would be smart of me to keep personal hobbies though, and i would like to increase my productivity (which is very low right now). i think i'm setting up poor daily habits while pregnant that might be an issue to me after pregnancy. man, i'd love to start downing some energy drinks right about now. anyway, i think i should reconsider what hobbies i want right now.

b.gile
01-23-15, 03:27 PM
i get so confused without medication. i can't tell what it is i want to do or not. everything is just a task and i can't discern between them. then i question each and every one and don't do any. it's not impossible to discern, just so much harder. i think i should make lists under each thing i do/am trying to do that's every reason why i am doing them.

also, i've been allowing pregnancy to becomes some "time outside of time"--as if i'm just on pause until it's over.

as i said in my previous post, i'm doing what's given to me...but since then there hasn't been any work to give me. so i'm doing nothing, and feeling guilty about it. i feel like a complete dependent, and therefore just a burden instead of a partner. this is why i was starting my own side business, so if there wasn't work for me to do then i still would have something i can work on. but i've been questioning my small business idea relentlessly. cycling between indefinitely postponing it, flat out ignoring it, and telling myself i am going to keep at it (but do nothing). i guess it's good i really remember why i wanted to do it now. there's no doubt that i need something of my own to work on. that helps give me some clarity.

anyways, all of this has made me fall off the track of keeping a schedule. the constant struggle of the schedule, lol.

so, overall things are going as expected. it's just life being an unmedicated person with adhd. hard, but not bad because i'm making sure to forever analyze my life and feelings and blah blah. no downspins or spirals or allowing myself to get stuck.

dvdnvwls
01-23-15, 07:06 PM
The small business idea: there's more than one good reason to do it, and there's also more than one good reason to not do it. That's probably why you keep cycling.

Very carefully deciding what is a real need and what is a would-be-nice can be one way of getting out of that cycle. Needing something of your own to work on - needing to make a certain amount of money - needing more time for something else - being able to concentrate on your other work - maybe even quitting your other work to do your side business - there are so many ways to think about it. If you haven't done so already, I think it helps to get all these ideas (I don't mean just mine, I mean all the ones that are in your own mind as well) written down in black & white so you can be more clear with yourself. Some things on your page will turn out to be more important or less important, and that might bring you some of the clarity you've been looking for.

peripatetic
01-23-15, 08:59 PM
i'm pregnant right now and i'm on multiple medications still. i didn't even know i was pregnant for the first four months. yeah...i don't know what to say about that.

anyway, there are two things i'm stopping a couple of weeks before she's born and two others i'll be taking up until labour. then with feeding, my psychiatrist is going to put me back on most everything right after she's born, but i should still be able to breastfeed. there just isn't a lot of formal study on medications, but there are women who've taken meds during pregnancy and their children do fine and reach developmental milestones in proper order.

thus far, and i'm thirty three weeks, mine has been developing totally on track (knock wood). so, you know, sometimes you have to consider the consequences of not taking medications and i haven't been on stimulants for the past year or maybe two because i have bigger fish to fry psychiatry wise, so to speak, but my not being stable during pregnancy is a far, far larger problem than my taking psych meds during. at the end of the day, i'm sure you're doing your best and if you can't function or if you're a detriment off meds, it's neither uncommon nor unwise to continue with them.

he gave me this website as a reference (the other one he uses you have to be a physician): http://toxnet.nlm.nih.gov/newtoxnet/lactmed.htm you might find it helpful.

best wishes to you

b.gile
01-25-15, 09:39 PM
The small business idea: there's more than one good reason to do it, and there's also more than one good reason to not do it. That's probably why you keep cycling.

Very carefully deciding what is a real need and what is a would-be-nice can be one way of getting out of that cycle. Needing something of your own to work on - needing to make a certain amount of money - needing more time for something else - being able to concentrate on your other work - maybe even quitting your other work to do your side business - there are so many ways to think about it. If you haven't done so already, I think it helps to get all these ideas (I don't mean just mine, I mean all the ones that are in your own mind as well) written down in black & white so you can be more clear with yourself. Some things on your page will turn out to be more important or less important, and that might bring you some of the clarity you've been looking for.


thank you for the advice.

it's something i previously fully thought through, but unmedicated that makes no difference. it could be the absolute best thing for me and i'll still cycle with questioning it. its my mind frame expressing my biological difficulties in motivating myself to any sort of action. i have to keep reminding myself over the years to stop questioning an action i've decided to make and to just do it. luckily i can now tell when questioning something is an unhealthy thing, or a necessary thing. it was hell before that, because i gave power to the unhealthy questioning of actions.

i did give it a rethink though (while typing my previous post about it), and thought back to my initial reasons. it is very much still something i should, need, and want to do. :)

sarahsweets
01-26-15, 05:06 AM
One thing that you have to remember is you are growing a baby and that is the most important job you have right now. Everything can take a back seat because taking care of you and a baby is number one. I know what it's like to feel like you are failing at stuff but you're not. Your perception might be that you're not doing enough but I think you are doing exactly what you need to do. I know that my opinion might not make you feel any better but I believe that women are ready so hard on ourselves and being pregnant makes us turn that critical eye on ourselves even more.



things are going well. i'm pretty calm and subdued compared to when i'm not pregnant. even family members have commented that i seem a lot more grounded. i'm not feeling upset or depressed at all. actually, i feel more accepting of what i do with my time more than ever. or really, i just don't care. likely because of my current subdued nature. :)

i'm doing what is given to me, which is great. but i'm failing to do anything i personally want to do. i'm not even trying to and i don't even care i'm not doing those things. i suppose i feel fulfilled without those things while i'm pregnant, because i am accomplishing something and moving towards a goal (growing a baby and then having one), and so i just fail to do anything else.

i think it would be smart of me to keep personal hobbies though, and i would like to increase my productivity (which is very low right now). i think i'm setting up poor daily habits while pregnant that might be an issue to me after pregnancy. man, i'd love to start downing some energy drinks right about now. anyway, i think i should reconsider what hobbies i want right now.

b.gile
02-23-15, 03:36 PM
@sarahsweets
thank you for the response.

however, i do not need to remember growing a baby is the most important job i have right now, because it's not--taking care of myself is the most important. everything should not take a backseat, and i really think that is horrible advice to give anyone. this is one of the most important times for keeping healthy, mentally and physically. and to work on things that need working on.

i don't understand what you mean about feeling like i failed at things. i did not say that. i said i have failed to do certain things. it has nothing to do with emotions.

i appreciate that you think i'm doing enough, however that isn't the point. it's about me continuing to be healthy throughout pregnancy. this includes me continuing to give respect to my adhd and stay aware of myself. if i simply let myself go, i would decline and then be in a bad state for when the baby is here. there is also absolutely no reason for me to do that nor is it something i want to do.

i do appreciate your concern that i should pay attention if i'm too hard on myself. thank you, but this confused me as to if you were really responding to my post at all or just talking about pregnancy in general. as i stated in the post you responded to: i feel more fulfilled and accepting of myself now more than before being pregnant, and i'm not depressed or upset at all.


i'm really sorry if my response seems rude, mean, or anything related. that is not my intention and i understand you are only intending to be positive and help. but i felt i had to respond.

sarahsweets
03-03-15, 05:54 AM
Look, I was trying to be positive. I didnt say that taking care off the baby was the most important thing I said taking care of you and the baby was the most important thing. I aso didnt mean to say you failed at anything. What I meant was that I understand what its like to feel like you failed, however this clearly doesnt apply to you. I sorry if you think my advice was horrible, I dont think it was. And I I know you said you arent trying to be rude but thats how I am taking your post.