View Full Version : Our lives and the Significance our words have


InvitroCanibal
12-02-14, 08:22 PM
I wrote this months ago after Robin Williams died and I was depressed. I wrote it somewhere else though other than the forums and I wanted to share that and a response that came to it. Below that, I added a comment response I got. At the time I hadn't considered my words could be impactful to anyone. I wanted to add this so that anyone who is depressed can know that their words can have meaning and significance even to just one stranger. The response I got propelled me into services that help other people.


There will always be that moment in life
When you feel such tremendous pain that your greatest tears and loudest screams fall silent
And try as you might, no sound can exit your vocal cords
In the end you want your pain to matter to someone but the sadness comes when you realize it doesn't
You suffer and you suffer alone
So your screams may continue each day and every day but they will always be silent with no outlet. Eventually everything you do tries to become an outlet
and everything you do is just an act of violence towards yourself, as you start to wander down the road of self destruction.

Suicide isnt about hurting people, or being afraid of lifes problems. It's just a form of communication, its about wanting to express the unexpressable pain you feel but cant no matter how hard you try. An act of suicide is sometimes the only way to express true pain, beyond screams, and words or thoughts. We take it for granted and call people like that selfish, but we further stigmatize the act of self expression of pain. Ironically, our demonizing of suicide and calling them cowards without taking the time to understand just the level of sorrow they've had to endure their whole lives; furthers it. Eventually at some point we have to stop demonizing and stigmatizing emotions so that people can truly learn how to deal with pain and express it openly. That requires from us, that we stop asking people to be what we want them to be and take the time to listen and actually know them as people and not just devices of entertainment.

Reply-

Jeff you have obviously had depression at some point in your life and are so insightful..one of the deepest comments I have seen on here.

I recently was diagnosed with aggressive cancer that I am told will kill me and this line of your describes how I felt when it came true in my life as I dealt with my own possible upcoming death that I did not want and hardly anyone did care or cared so little You would be surprised how little those who are supposed ot love me could care less or forgot within weeks what I am still going through alone.

you said "In the end you want your pain to matter to someone but the sadness comes when you realize it doesn't

You suffer and you suffer alone"

suffering when ok is bad enough when noone cares but knowing you are dying or suffering of intense magnitude may be just around the corner and hardly anyone really cares is one of the saddest and loneliest feelings in the world. every slight seems so magnified.

None but the one living it really knows what we go through during our moments of deep pain.

Having been suicidal 20 years of my own life and living with clinical depression for 35 and experiencing the overwhelming tense ideation and desire to die that comes at the hands of what antidepressants do to some people. it is extremely hard and anyone who lives through it whether they succumb or not to suicide is courageous not the opposite. Not everyone feel the depth of pain that some of us do.

People like Robin like myself being extremely bright, highly creative and empathic yet having mental ills that make us who we are--the source of our greatest gifts and greatest weaknesses. such sensitive natures that they feel the pain of the whole world and of everyone and agonize over the injustices of the world everyone and who feel so bad personally they live to make sure others do not feel it.
giving to all in their path..well they absorb so much more pain of life than many.

Looking at the works and books of Dr Peter Breggin and seeing how he cured people with the most serious of mental ills--depression, bipolar and even schizophrenics with love, understanding, empathy, talking and other natural things show this is healing and the world is very deficit of it right now

What you said about "taking the time to understand just the level of sorrow they've had to endure their whole lives...learning how to deal with pain and express it openly... taking the time to listen and actually know them and express love and caring, this could save many lives I feel and spare people some of the pain they feel.

Don't be one of those people that Robin said is worst than being alone being with the person yet making them feel alone. If people really took the time to care, then dr drugs might be lessened and that alone would lead to more life as the drugs kill and so does people not caring when you are going through the depths of hell on earth..

I think you must be a person that helps a lot of people as you get it Jeff you can put yourself in the shoes of another.

mbrandon
12-02-14, 08:45 PM
Wow.

Right on.

sarek
12-03-14, 07:14 AM
Thank you for these incredibly powerful words. You have written these from a place of immense wisdom and compassion.

Fuzzy12
12-03-14, 09:34 AM
Thanks for sharing.:grouphug:

stef
12-03-14, 09:39 AM
Yes, thank you. that was beautiful and very moving.

Pilgrim
12-03-14, 01:47 PM
You are a poet.