View Full Version : giving birth in the hospital...what was your experience?


peripatetic
12-13-14, 05:50 PM
i realised the other day that as many times as i've been hospitalised, i've never been in a regular hospital. or on a regular ward, i mean. i have no idea what that's like.

my obstetrician said i could be there for two to four days. holy ****! i never want to stay or be there and i'm kinda worried that it won't go over well with me. i'm nervous about asking my questions to my obstetrician directly because i don't want him to infer things about me from them...so i'll ask here.

what's it like to be in the hospital separate from being forced to be there for mental health reasons? can you just leave? you can, right? do they do checks on you? how does consent work? do they search you first or ... what kinds of restrictions are there? what about access to outside persons and internet and so forth?

i put this in women's because the reason i'll be there is childbirth so i'm thinking that people who've done that, in the hospital, and are willing to say how that went down are the ones i'm interested in hearing from.

cheers in advance. xx

vpilar
12-13-14, 07:28 PM
Not been in a hospital for childbirth, but have had other experiences...

As far as I know anyone who is hospitalized can not leave early without signing a consent form, but you're of course free to do so whenever you want and leave the hospital. It all depends on you and also your Dr's decision.
The hospital will need you to confirm that you will take responsibility if something happened to you, in the case of leaving early.

But why would you want to leave, if you're in labor?! When you're in the hospital, you of course can leave you're room and have a walk around...

I don't think there would be any unexpected restrictions. It's all very easy and comforting!
The restrictions are generally because of hygiene legislations and health and comfort of the other patients, yourself, and the baby; for example wearing special robs and sandals they provide you with, limiting the number of visitors in labor or during the delivery, etc.
They might have some restrictions for using electronic devices in labor and during delivery, but that wouldn't involve any weird take aways and searching! You or someone who is accompanying you, just will put your belongings in a bag, and keep it somewhere safe and close...
Visitors might get checked first for being healthy.

You can access your bag whenever you want before and after delivery...

In your room you'll most likely have phone, can have visitors.. and can call a nurse by ringing a bell or something, whenever you need to...

After all, you can read the guidelines from your hospital before going there...
And don't be shy to ask your questions from your dr. and the staff....
And you also can ask them to bring something for you or the baby, in case you needed something...

It would be a good idea to put anything that you think would be useful for these 4 days in your bag...

..enough underwear, pads, and maybe a comfortable robe from home..
..a soft iced bag would be useful..
..some of those stuff that help in breastfeeding..
..maybe getting something from pharmacy in advance for a possible rectal pain and hemorrhoid...
..something to entertain yourself :)

Please don't worry too much! I'm sure everything will go well! :yes:

Keep us updated :)

Unmanagable
12-13-14, 07:31 PM
I've never given birth, but have an opinion. Once you're admitted to a medical facility, you have much less control over yourself and the baby. If they feel something is in your best interest, or in the best interest of the baby, regardless of what you think, they have much more leverage when it comes to who listens to who, etc.. That just makes me really uncomfortable.

If I were planning to have a little one, I'd do the natural route with a highly reputable and certified midwife, maybe add a doula for extra support, and do the underwater birthing technique. That just seems like it replicates the way being born is supposed to be vs. the often traumatic hospital delivery.

peripatetic
12-13-14, 07:33 PM
Vpilar: I dont think it all two to four days in labour, but after the birth they keep you. As for why I've wanted to leave in the past, because I hate the psych ward I guess. It's complicated. But yeah, I tend to want to leave. ;)

I didn't know about asking about restrictions directly...I felt that might be an odd thing to do... I don't know, it's not like they can't all see my medical record but them that's precisely why I'd like to fly under the radar to whatever extent possible and not ask any off putting questions.

I'll have to read the rest when my concentration is much better but thank you so much for your reply xx

peripatetic
12-13-14, 07:37 PM
Unmanageable: I hear you. Totally. I'm just nervous about possible complications. My friend went that route though. I'll have to think on it more xx

michaelaisabell
12-13-14, 11:24 PM
You can leave early against medical advice but you'll probably be too tired to go through the hassel.
You will not be searched.
You can use you cell phone or the phone in your room.
Many hospitals have wifi now so you can bring your laptop.

I had both my kids in hospitals and it's honestly not that bad.

michaelaisabell
12-13-14, 11:25 PM
Oh I've also been in psych hospitals
It's totally different. Nothing like being a patient in a psych hospital other than the fact that it's a hospital.

stef
12-14-14, 03:06 AM
Peri, it was a long time ago so maybe things have changed, but my son was born on a tuesday morning and i went home on thursday afternoon, I could have used another day in the hospital! i was exhausted. i was breastfeeding so they just conveniently bring you the baby... no one told me, or i missed the part, that you may suddenly "produce" a large quantity of milk so i am sitting there at home leaking milk, sleeping baby, we did not know what to do! ( sorry, TMI)

anyway I'm sure its not the same as other wards and the staff was really, really nice.

MrsNewton
12-14-14, 11:54 AM
You can get up and leave, it's called elopement, but it's massively frowned upon and insurance won't pay.

You can leave AMA, which is against medical advise, and they have you sign papers first.

What you can't do, is take the baby with you unless a doc signs off.

They will not keep you there one moment longer than they feel they need to, but they can't just let you push a human out of your body and jet. ;-)

They need to monitor the baby for a lot of various issues, some of which don't show up right away, and if you need pain control they need to monitor YOU, to be sure there aren't any adverse effects.

They also need to watch your blood pressure, etc. to be sure there aren't any complications after the fact. (Rare, but they do happen).

Generally, they will release you and your baby 48 or less hours after you deliver.

I work in healthcare and I'm a nursing student, so feel free to message me. :-)

peripatetic
12-14-14, 12:22 PM
Oh I've also been in psych hospitals
It's totally different. Nothing like being a patient in a psych hospital other than the fact that it's a hospital.

Thus is super helpful to read from someone who's been in both. Cheers

peripatetic
12-14-14, 12:24 PM
Peri, it was a long time ago so maybe things have changed, but my son was born on a tuesday morning and i went home on thursday afternoon, I could have used another day in the hospital! i was exhausted. i was breastfeeding so they just conveniently bring you the baby... no one told me, or i missed the part, that you may suddenly "produce" a large quantity of milk so i am sitting there at home leaking milk, sleeping baby, we did not know what to do! ( sorry, TMI)

anyway I'm sure its not the same as other wards and the staff was really, really nice.

My obstetrician suggested I take a breast feeding class because he said it's totally not second nature to most women. Due to my meds I may not breast feed for long, if at all, but I'm going to take the class just in case I can. Did you get the hang of it quickly once you got going?

michaelaisabell
12-14-14, 12:25 PM
Also when I was in the hospital the baby slept in my room.
Many us hospitals make you take a class before leaving. It's like an hour and they basically tell you not to shake the baby lol

Many hospitals also want first time mothers to be seeing by the lactation consultant before you leave.

michaelaisabell
12-14-14, 12:30 PM
My obstetrician suggested I take a breast feeding class because he said it's totally not second nature to most women. Due to my meds I may not breast feed for long, if at all, but I'm going to take the class just in case I can. Did you get the hang of it quickly once you got going?

It's not second nature! You and the baby both have to learn and there is a learning curve.

I nursed my first for 1 yr and my youngest for 2.5 years.
I'm always here if you have questions about nursing :)
It's a really great experience once you get past the sore nipples in the beginning.

Many women give up cuz they think they are not producing enough milk. It's only like 1% of women who actually don't produce enough though.

Just gta remember the babies stomach of a marble. It can't hold much and it empties fast. Nursing every 45 minutes at first can be completely normal :)

peripatetic
12-14-14, 12:31 PM
They will not keep you there one moment longer than they feel they need to

Yeah..that's what they always say in the psych ward/hospital, too. It's never just been a few days for me, even if the hold starts out that way, so consider me skeptical.

I will be avoiding as much narcotic pain stuff as possible just because it tends to not work well with my system and I don't need anything that makes me more unstable. My obstetrician is aware of that desire.

My psychiatrist said he'd come check on me as he has hospital privileges there and I trust him so hopefully that will work in my favour. He can be remarkably calming in situations where I'm not remotely calm historically.

michaelaisabell
12-14-14, 12:35 PM
Yeah..that's what they always say in the psych ward/hospital, too. It's never just been a few days for me, even if the hold starts out that way, so consider me skeptical.

I will be avoiding as much narcotic pain stuff as possible just because it tends to not work well with my system and I don't need anything that makes me more unstable. My obstetrician is aware of that desire.

My psychiatrist said he'd come check on me as he has hospital privileges there and I trust him so hopefully that will work in my favour. He can be remarkably calming in situations where I'm not remotely calm historically.

Trust me. They won't keep you longer than they have to unless it's medically neccasarry and that would be rare.
I think most stays are 2 days 3 max for vaginal and 4-5 days for c section.

stef
12-14-14, 12:36 PM
My obstetrician suggested I take a breast feeding class because he said it's totally not second nature to most women. Due to my meds I may not breast feed for long, if at all, but I'm going to take the class just in case I can. Did you get the hang of it quickly once you got going?

yes it was easy for mebut a class would have been nice cause the just the first few days are tricky
then the baby falls into a rythym and seriously if you have add, consider it because no woeries about bottles and formula!!!
It also helps'your hormones regulate and you naturally lose weight.

peripatetic
12-14-14, 12:42 PM
Also when I was in the hospital the baby slept in my room.
Many us hospitals make you take a class before leaving. It's like an hour and they basically tell you not to shake the baby lol

Many hospitals also want first time mothers to be seeing by the lactation consultant before you leave.

What does the lactation consultant do, exactly? I realise that likely is obvious but it isn't to me. I've seen in the paperwork that they make one available and you can meet with one there and you can also request one help you after discharge.

My only female friend with child is 3,000 mules away so I will probably have a lot of questions. She's much more, like, earth motherly than I am. She joined a group for breast feeding, which I'm kinda unclear on what that's about so this reminds me to ask her...

I'm pretty small up top so it is good to hear that they don't need much. My boobs haven't really enlarged. Just my abdomen has.

michaelaisabell
12-14-14, 12:44 PM
yes it was easy for mebut a class would have been nice cause the just the first few days are tricky
then the baby falls into a rythym and seriously if you have add, consider it because no woeries about bottles and formula!!!
It also helps'your hormones regulate and you naturally lose weight.

Stef is right. Nursing is soo much easier. In the beginning it seems hard and can be overwhelming but it's so much more effort to be getting up, making bottles, warming them, taking formula and water everywhere.
I gta hand it to moms who bottle feed cuz that's a lot of work and I'm too darn lazy for that shiz! Lol

It also makes post partim bleeding end sooner, helps your uterus contract back down faster, reduces risk of breast cancer, blah blah blah. Lots if benefits to both mom and baby.

Oh btw congrats!!!

peripatetic
12-14-14, 12:48 PM
Cheers!

She's a surprise but a welcome one. :)

Like I said, I defo want to try, but I have some non negotiable medications and it will depend on that--not on my persistence with trying. Thus far my medical people are hopeful, but if I start to lose my **** things will need increase and there you go. Fingers crossed though. x

michaelaisabell
12-14-14, 12:50 PM
What does the lactation consultant do, exactly? I realise that likely is obvious but it isn't to me. I've seen in the paperwork that they make one available and you can meet with one there and you can also request one help you after discharge.

My only female friend with child is 3,000 mules away so I will probably have a lot of questions. She's much more, like, earth motherly than I am. She joined a group for breast feeding, which I'm kinda unclear on what that's about so this reminds me to ask her...

I'm pretty small up top so it is good to hear that they don't need much. My boobs haven't really enlarged. Just my abdomen has.

Basically the Lactation consultant will answe any questions you have about nursing, help you make sure the baby is latching on correctly, make sure tge baby doesn't have a tongue tie, and just help you with anything breast feeding related.

Yup boob size doesn't matter. Bigger boobs do not = more milk.

A breast feeding group online is usually a place much like this where moms who are breast feeding go for advice and support.

There is a website called cafemom and it's great for anything mom/baby related.
It's a social networking site for moms and it has different groups you can join
Like breast feeding, toddlers, december 2014 babies, bipolar moms, etcetera

peripatetic
12-14-14, 12:52 PM
Ah, I see. Hers is in person. I went to visit her a couple of summers ago after she first had him but I didn't attend that with her, of course.

What's tongue tie with respect to babies? Do you mean a cleft palate or something? She's checked out ok in ultrasounds...

michaelaisabell
12-14-14, 12:53 PM
Ya if you need meds to keep your sanity then so be it. Gta take care of you first cuz of you're not in good health you can't take care of baby to the best of your abilities.

michaelaisabell
12-14-14, 12:56 PM
Ah, I see. Hers is in person. I went to visit her a couple of summers ago after she first had him but I didn't attend that with her, of course.

What's tongue tie with respect to babies? Do you mean a cleft palate or something? She's checked out ok in ultrasounds...

No. They won't see it in an ultrasound.
You know that little piece of skin ( kinda like a string) under your tongue?
If tgat is too short it makes it hard or impossible to stick your tongue out.
If it interfere with nursing ( babies use their tongues to help get the milk out) then they can Clip it.

A slight tongue tie usually doesn't cause issues.

Sorry I didn't mean to add a worry. It's just something they routinely check for.

peripatetic
12-14-14, 12:59 PM
Oh, I see. Well, that sounds like an easy enough remedy :)

michaelaisabell
12-14-14, 12:59 PM
When did you say you are due?

michaelaisabell
12-14-14, 01:01 PM
If you have enough time there is a book called "what to expect when your expecting"
It's worth tge read if you have the time. Many public libraries carry it too.

peripatetic
12-14-14, 01:05 PM
I read that book. Holy crap! But yeah, I've read that. That aforementioned friend sent me that and Ina mays guide to childbirth, which I haven't gotten to yet.

I'm due early March. I found out far more recently than most women would (found out when I was 16 and a half weeks).

michaelaisabell
12-14-14, 01:18 PM
I read that book. Holy crap! But yeah, I've read that. That aforementioned friend sent me that and Ina mays guide to childbirth, which I haven't gotten to yet.

I'm due early March. I found out far more recently than most women would (found out when I was 16 and a half weeks).

I know asking someone with adhd to read a book is a lot! Lol but in my experience when pregnant we tend to hyper focus on anything baby related.

I found out with my first at 9 weeks so I kinda found out late too

b.gile
12-14-14, 11:51 PM
congrats!

haven't given birth...yet. expecting in early june. i've been going to a birthing center. i can leave same day, or the next day.

the room i'm giving birth in is big, with a nice queen sized bed, a bathroom, and a separate full bath/shower area. homey feel. the baby stays in the room with me the whole time after giving birth. for me, it's exactly what i want and will feel comfortable with.

if it's something you might consider, most (if not all) do a tour and some do a free consultation.

MrsNewton
12-15-14, 08:04 PM
Yeah..that's what they always say in the psych ward/hospital, too. It's never just been a few days for me, even if the hold starts out that way, so consider me skeptical.

I will be avoiding as much narcotic pain stuff as possible just because it tends to not work well with my system and I don't need anything that makes me more unstable. My obstetrician is aware of that desire.

My psychiatrist said he'd come check on me as he has hospital privileges there and I trust him so hopefully that will work in my favour. He can be remarkably calming in situations where I'm not remotely calm historically.

I can't speak from a psych perspective, but I promise they are not going to keep you there unless there is a need. The doctors have to justify every single thing they do with blood work, test results etc. and they would get in trouble if they kept you longer, they absolutely won't do it. I promise.

Think of it as a hotel with nurses, because that's pretty much what it is.

phantasm
12-16-14, 12:47 AM
If you can pre-register your hospital stay, then do it. Weeks or a month before your due date. That way, you don't have to fill out a ton of paperwork while you are in labor.

I had a C-section after being in labor for 11 hours. My husband passed out when I was in labor, so he was in the ER while I was in surgery. :( I was awake during surgery and a doctor sat with me since my husband couldn't be there. He took my camera and took pictures during the surgery so my husband could have them. Pretty awesome. I even have pics of my daughter still laying inside my belly, before they pulled her out. Fascinating!

Lactation specialist just helped me position my baby on breast until my baby latched on. I had no fricken clue what was happening. She was pulling and pushing my breasts all over the place. :eyebrow: It took a couple tries, but luckily my baby figured it out. I breastfed for 14 months.

It wasn't until day 2 that I realized I hadn't gotten out of bed to pee. That's when I realized I had a catheter in. Woohooo!! Pretty awesome until they took it out on day 3. :faint:

Other than that, I HATED staying over night. Since I had a C-section I had to stay a bit longer in the hospital. I stayed 3 nights. And each night they checked your vitals and such every hour or every other hour. And my room was next to a supply closet or something. The door just slammed shut everytime someone went in there, and woke me and my baby up constantly. It was dreadful trying to sleep. :mad: OMG! I begged my husband to check me out of that place. UGH!!

Food was delish though. :p Who knew??

peripatetic
12-16-14, 03:53 PM
congrats!

haven't given birth...yet. expecting in early june. i've been going to a birthing center. i can leave same day, or the next day.

the room i'm giving birth in is big, with a nice queen sized bed, a bathroom, and a separate full bath/shower area. homey feel. the baby stays in the room with me the whole time after giving birth. for me, it's exactly what i want and will feel comfortable with.

if it's something you might consider, most (if not all) do a tour and some do a free consultation.

How old are you, if you don't mind my asking. Are you considered "low risk"? I'm more considered not high risk, but not without risk. Sounds like you'd say moderate risk but as none have actually used that terminology with me I can't said I've been told that precisely. Anyway, I do have done risks due to age, size, and meds, but I'm keen on learning more about the options and what's possible. My partner isn't so keen on me running a high risk outside the hospital, so much would depend on the level if care they could offer in a pinch.

I wrote this on iphone so soz in advance for odd autocorrects.

sarahsweets
12-20-14, 09:09 AM
I'll try not to make this a novel but I'm sure I'll have typos and be long winded.
I had all three of my kids in a hospital and have been in a psyche ward three times. The last time was when my last child was 2 weeks old.I had natural child birth all three times with no pain meds. That doesn't make me super woman and extra special,its just something that I wanted to avoid. With my first child in 1996 my bipolar wasn't treated at all so I was a hot mess after birth. I tried to breast feed but even though my son had the hang of it I wasn't producing enough milk and he had to be hospitalised for jaundice and they had to give him bottles so I was done with breastfeeding. My labor wasn't long,maybe 9 hours. With my second child I was treated very minimally for bipolar and didn't know enough to ask the right questions about whether I should or shouldn't take my meds so I winged it. I wanted to breast feed but they gave her a bottle without my consent and she wouldn't latch on after that. 2 weeks after she was born my dad died so she would have been on bottles either way. That was also the second stay in a psyche ward where my meds where tweaked.

My last child was born in 2003 and I barely made it to the hosital on time. I also wanted to breast feed but I didn't have enough milk. I also never mentioned meds to the obgyn so I started going into freak out mode the minute I got home. After a suicide attempt, I was back at the psyche ward.
I made all the decisions in the hospital and no one really had much to say. I didn't volunteer any extra info and was able to leave 48 hours after each kid. My post partum depression was h horrendous and got worse with each child. The minute they were out I began a fast descent into hopelessness. Thats a bipolar thing I think. The two times I was in the psyche ward I had to beg a social worker to let me go. I hated it and had no choices in almost everything. I'm lucky I have a great husband who was able to say he would care for me and wasn't forced to stay in when I wanted to leave.

A support system is key I believe. Without proper support,the minute they hear about mental health issues they treat you differently at least thats been my experience. I'm sure I will think of more to add but this is what I could think of so far.

bluelephant
11-28-15, 10:50 PM
I recommend taking an independent non-hospital affiliated lamaze class, and visiting a few hospitals. It all depends on what you ultimately want. I had planned on a whole natural birth, but my LO was breeched (did not turn in the preferred head down position--this makes a vaginal delivery extremely dangerous due to suffocation risks). Instead I found a hospital that was pro-bonding, meaning that I could hold the baby immediately after my C-section and had complete control over where LO was at all times.

I was able to stay with them 24/7, had uninterrupted time for skin-to-skin contact as well as the ability to breastfeed without anyone trying to push formula. Babies lose at least half a lb postpartum, and it is perfectly ok to wait for your breaarmilk to come on. In fact they don't need much more than colostrum in the first 5 days. They also did not attempt to force me to give any preventive vaccines or medication that I did not want to LO. If this is something you also prefer, make sure you talk to other moms, not just the hospital.

This type of care has become trendy and hospitals will outright lie in an attempt to have more patients deliver with them. (Remember that it is a business.) Also make sure you have a long conversation with your OBGYN about your delivery, your needs, your wants, and your boundaries.

Do not let anyone intimidate you. Make sure you discuss what happens if they are not able to be there, who their affiliates are, so you don't end up last minute with a stranger that completely ignores your birth plan. It's your body, your pregnsncy, and your child. Do what feels right, but again I highly recommend a natural-minded lamaze class.