View Full Version : Irritability, Moodiness and Relationships


dandggirl
12-22-14, 01:03 AM
I was diagnosed last year with ADHD-I and I'm still struggling with a few things. I do work a lot, so I am often tired and stressed, but I also find that I am irritable and can be super moody. Usually, I just pretend to be super happy and smile, but I really want to tell people to leave me alone. Maybe I'm not getting enough "me" time? I'm always around people and they are always relying on me to plan and remember things. I can barely remember what I'm supposed to do! And, I can't seem to keep a relationship going longer than a few months. I was seeing a guy for close to two years and I broke it off in May because he was being wishy-washy. I recently found out that he was engaged 5 months after I ended it and he's getting married 1 month after the engagement! He was texting me just a month ago! All of these stressors seem to be making me more irritable. Anyone have any coping strategies? I'll even just take some good advice lol

BTW My main job is super boring and not challenging. I'm trying to get a job in my field, but this is also proving difficult...

Pilgrim
12-22-14, 06:17 AM
Sorry, are you medicated?

Corina86
12-22-14, 07:48 AM
Medication helps with most of these issues- it doesn't fix them entirely though (not in my case, at least). Also, getting enough me-time is very important and helpful to me. Then again, I've never been too sociable and it has lots of down sides, the most important being that it's one of the reasons I find relationships difficult.

RobboW
12-22-14, 08:31 AM
I advise not seeking a relationship at all. Work on setting up a life that simplifies possible issues and confusion so that stress is minimised.
If a relationship comes up, be objective about it. If it feels destructive to you, it will be.
Without stress, life can be great, the problem is getting the balance and keeping it.

dandggirl
12-22-14, 10:23 AM
Sorry, are you medicated?

Yes, I'm taking Concerta 36mg in the mmorning and then 18mg in the later afternoon. I should have nentioned that previously. Too many things that I wanted to remember and I forgot to mention one of the most important things haha

dandggirl
12-22-14, 10:26 AM
I advise not seeking a relationship at all. Work on setting up a life that simplifies possible issues and confusion so that stress is minimised.
If a relationship comes up, be objective about it. If it feels destructive to you, it will be.
Without stress, life can be great, the problem is getting the balance and keeping it.

You are so right. I actually don't date often because I'm so busy and guys don't seem to approach me anyway lol I'm a little oblivious to that sort of stuff. I knew the last guy was bad for me, but I stuck aroud anyway. Maybe I liked that it wasn't boring? Who knows...

But, I will definitely agree with you about not looking for a relationship right now. Ugh....so frustrating....

dandggirl
12-22-14, 10:28 AM
Medication helps with most of these issues- it doesn't fix them entirely though (not in my case, at least). Also, getting enough me-time is very important and helpful to me. Then again, I've never been too sociable and it has lots of down sides, the most important being that it's one of the reasons I find relationships difficult.

Do you find that people do not understand you? Within my many jobs, I am extroverted and talkative, but when I get home, I would love to have quiet time to read a book and not talk to anyone.

Corina86
12-22-14, 11:01 AM
Do you find that people do not understand you? Within my many jobs, I am extroverted and talkative, but when I get home, I would love to have quiet time to read a book and not talk to anyone.

I'm equally introverted at work. I have to admit, sometimes I feel like chatting, but I don't have the energy to go out and my parents can be boring at times. Maybe your jobs are many you exhausted- which is not really ok, but I suppose there's not much of a choice.

Wowwowwow
12-22-14, 11:52 AM
This really hits home! Wowwowwow f$&@

roflwaffle
12-22-14, 01:03 PM
There are certain medications that may help you regulate your emotions. I think Wellbutrin helps me in that department, and I've heard other meds can have the same effect. There's a Russell Barkley video on youtube where he talks about the clinical benefits of combining two medications. The stimulant helps with attention, but may only blunt emotions, whereas other drugs may act like mild stimulants and also help with emotional regulation. The end result of someone taking both medications tends to be better emotional regulation, similar levels of concentration to just being on the stimulant, and lower doses of both medications compared to just being on one medication.

If you can't find the video please send me a message on the forum so I'll have a trigger to look it up later this week.

dandggirl
12-22-14, 02:25 PM
I'm equally introverted at work. I have to admit, sometimes I feel like chatting, but I don't have the energy to go out and my parents can be boring at times. Maybe your jobs are many you exhausted- which is not really ok, but I suppose there's not much of a choice.

I often feel like not wanting to chat at work either. But, for my job I have to be pretty social...but it is exhausting at times lol Yes, my job can be stressful because management is super disorganized.

Sometimes I have to force myself to go out because if I don't, I'll just stay home and watch movies lol

dandggirl
12-22-14, 02:27 PM
There are certain medications that may help you regulate your emotions. I think Wellbutrin helps me in that department, and I've heard other meds can have the same effect. There's a Russell Barkley video on youtube where he talks about the clinical benefits of combining two medications. The stimulant helps with attention, but may only blunt emotions, whereas other drugs may act like mild stimulants and also help with emotional regulation. The end result of someone taking both medications tends to be better emotional regulation, similar levels of concentration to just being on the stimulant, and lower doses of both medications compared to just being on one medication.

If you can't find the video please send me a message on the forum so I'll have a trigger to look it up later this week.

I will look for it tonight and if I can't find it, I will get back to you. So far the Concerta seems to be working, but the irritability is a problem. I wasn't sure if it was just me doing too much or the medication....

Thanks again!

RobboW
12-22-14, 04:00 PM
I'm not medicated and find work a burden because it tires me reigning in emotion and response. When I'm home I just want to relax that and be myself but I have a large family and can't. As the years go by, it tires me more and more. It's really hard having a family, you can't get a decent me time without it costing you an early rise or late night and your partner (if NT) will never understand it.

roflwaffle
12-22-14, 07:20 PM
I will look for it tonight and if I can't find it, I will get back to you. So far the Concerta seems to be working, but the irritability is a problem. I wasn't sure if it was just me doing too much or the medication....

Thanks again!
You're welcome!

Here's a link to the video. If you have the time maybe you can check out some more of Barkley's stuff.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LnS0PfNyj4U

If you try out something like strattera, wellbutrin, or intuniv, It'll take a little bit for you to notice anything, but you might see something in as little as a week or few.

tester
01-03-15, 07:36 AM
Yes, I'm taking Concerta 36mg in the mmorning and then 18mg in the later afternoon. I should have nentioned that previously. Too many things that I wanted to remember and I forgot to mention one of the most important things haha

Just to add my two sense to the mix... the dose that you are taking right now may need the be adjusted, another med added, or Concerta swapped out for another... I only mention this because of your comment on irritability...

I struggled, as did my amazing wife (who suffered the brunt of my mood swings, etc)... while we worked to find the best and most effective medication and dose for me... until I was proper medicated, my emotional regulation was non-existent (and a rollercoaster)... the continual overdosing and withdrawal symptoms resulting from being incorrectly medicated can cause extreme irritability, uncontrollable mood swings, and can adversely affect yours (and that of those closest to you) quality of life.

Good luck, and best wishes !!

Sunlovinlady
01-29-15, 03:35 PM
I feel the exact way that you do. It's all just exhausting at times. My boyfriend is seriously the most patient guy in the world but I get mad at him over the smallest things and take things out on him when it's not even his fault. I get moods all over the map. I don't understand it at all. I can be fine one minute and then beyond livid the next over anything. I'm not medicated though and I always notice if I haven't excercised or gotten enough down time that I start falling apart and get way more stressed. I can't offer any advise but I can definitely sympathize with you.

Pilgrim
01-29-15, 05:47 PM
I feel the exact way that you do. It's all just exhausting at times. My boyfriend is seriously the most patient guy in the world but I get mad at him over the smallest things and take things out on him when it's not even his fault. I get moods all over the map. I don't understand it at all. I can be fine one minute and then beyond livid the next over anything. I'm not medicated though and I always notice if I haven't excercised or gotten enough down time that I start falling apart and get way more stressed. I can't offer any advise but I can definitely sympathize with you.

This is actually me medicated but there is one significant difference. I can go off tap but I'm usually able to see my moodiness coming and do somethin about it.
Me time is essential.
I found when I wasn't medicated I would just sit in the corner and do nothing which is strange.
I think when medicated I get a certain insight into the way I feel and I can deal with my surroundings that much better. Afterwards I need to be on my own to redeal and recuperate.
Sometimes you've just got to be sociable in life but maybe those close to you must understand the way you think and feel.

Gypsy Willow
01-30-15, 03:45 PM
Sounds like you dumping the wish-washy guy was a very wise decision!