View Full Version : Someone's got to talk me down. I'm a wreck!


Drawnout
01-12-15, 09:23 PM
Diagnosed with ADHD – inattentive type when I was 40.

I mean, it’s all good to finally put a name this ‘condition’ of mine, and everything. Before that I just thought I was dumb.
However, it’s been seven years and a second diagnosis for good measure since with I have no job, no wife and no life...living in my parent’s basement.

It hasn't been fun…not for a long long time.

This is a resource forum, I know. But I just need to talk to someone.
Is there a forum in here where I should go other than this one?
Where someone can convince me it's all still worth it?

Would anyone recommend a chat room possibly?
Where can I vent?!

And how was your day? :)

silivrentoliel
01-12-15, 10:11 PM
welcome to ADDF, Drawnout :)

You'll find we vent just about everywhere, so vent away!

Having ADHD sucks all around... so I totally get what you're saying.

dvdnvwls
01-12-15, 10:31 PM
Welcome to the forum. This place has made a big difference for me, and I hope it does for you too.

You can vent here; you can vent in a private message to someone; avoid venting in parts of the forum where it would obviously be wrong for you to do so, like Science or Women with ADHD or Games and I think you should be OK.

Pilgrim
01-12-15, 10:37 PM
If it makes you feel better. I was diagnosed at 38 and began treatment straight away with a trail behind me of regret, depression, anxiety and self loathing.
Come just over 3 years later,
I'm not depressed, I don't hate myself ( I sort of like myself )
Anxiety can still be intense,

I bought my first real business today.
This started to change the moment I was diagnosed.
Knowledge is power, Goodluck to you.

Drawnout
01-12-15, 11:02 PM
hehe

Great!

Today, I was again looking at my 'get a job' problem.
It's been six years since I had any steady work, and this is getting to be a concern, don't you know.

As many of you well know, jobs that would allow me ‘time’ to process the task would be ideal. I don’t like working with ‘neurotypical’ – verbal communication with them is tiring. Working at my own pace with explicit awards to actions made again would be ideal!

I would have loved to an actor. I mean, they’re work day is scripted….literally!
They’re given written instructions what to say, directed what to do and when, and they get to rehearse this repeatedly until finally rewarded for their efforts by and authoritative figure saying, “And cut! That’s a wrap!”

I mean how great would that be! And the fame to boot, if I got good scripts. ;)

Drawnout
01-12-15, 11:34 PM
I’m looking to change my vocation to be more ADD friendly.

Good to see there’s some stuff out there pertaining to my little endeavour:

Career path for ADHD'ers (http://www.addforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=72027)

Types of Jobs good or bad for ADHDers (http://www.addforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=1820)

I need to get a Job (http://www.addforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=167272)

Admittedly, I find most of the information there and in the other threads I've found to be more towards ADHD. I'm more SCT.

There's no hyperactivity these days. These days, I'm just trying to 'keep in mind' what I was doing at any given moment. Horrific working memory!

I've got no free recall, I'm telling you. None. I can remember by reference (the ol' string around the finger sort of thing), but can I draw out what I need to know at a point in time when I really need to know it? Nope.

dvdnvwls
01-13-15, 12:20 AM
If you had hyperactivity at any point, it's very likely that the SCT hypothesis is not right for you. People who appear to have SCT (which isn't an officially accepted diagnosis but might become one some day) are in general "slow and spacey" even when they're very young. People who were hyperactive as children are much more likely to fit with ADHD.

Pilgrim
01-13-15, 12:41 AM
[QUOTE=Drawnout;1712940]hehe

Great!

Today, I was again looking at my 'get a job' problem.
It's been six years since I had any steady work, and this is getting to be a concern, don't

Get a great doctor; part of my daily routine is reading this forum. I follow certain individuals ( you know who you are ).

Medication, this balances me out a lot. It's not a magic bullet though. It's a tool.

I think a positive mental attitude. Exercise and a great diet.

Go and get ANY job. The longer away from the game the harder it can be.

It's hard but what can you do.

Drawnout
01-13-15, 12:58 AM
@dvdnvwls

Yeah, you're right to suggest that, but that's because I think I've misspoke there. Sorry about that.
Hyper as a small child, sure, but I feel that was just being a little kid. I should not have even mentioned that word as hyperactivity was not a prominent or consistent trait growing up.

No, when growing up, my mind was in a fog. When I was asked about it years later, I would ask people to imagine when they overslept, you know? You've overslept, and now your 'in a haze' for the rest of the day. I would then say 'now imagine being in that cognitive haze every day of your life.'

'slow and spacey' described my mental state growing up. It wasn't until in my thirties when I myself stumbled upon the fact that avoiding breads (carbs), doing regular exercise, and finally prescribed stimulants would have that fog lifted.

Yes, this journey has been frustrating in that even the medical community is still trying to get a handle on this. I've been diagnosed twice with ADHD-PI, and frankly the doctors did not exhume the confidence in me that they even knew what ADHD was.

It's been only through my own research that I then came up this thing called Sluggish Cognitive Tempo. However, as you said, SCT is not officially recognized.
Your right, dvdnvwls, SCT is only a hypothesis on my part. It's from my own unskilled efforts to diagnose. I was hoping those two separate evaluations from those two separate doctors would satisfy me, but I guess the journey continues.

Further still, I come to find that, granted my executive function appears impaired, but it's my inability to free recall readily and an unreliable working memory that appears to me to be a dominant cause to what has been frankly a lackluster life.

Drawnout
01-13-15, 01:01 AM
@Pilgrim

I like that!

Yes, I'll make the effort to visit this site regularly.
Makes for a great resource.

Words of encouragement truly do help

"Put me in, coach!"

Thanks, Pilgrim

Pilgrim
01-13-15, 01:12 AM
I think most people define them selves by what they do and how they do it. It takes time but knowing other people going through it and how they overcome or overcame this problem is the real key.