View Full Version : Would medication actually help me feel happy or just take the edge off?


heavyiron15
03-23-15, 08:07 PM
So Ive dealt with some kind of depression most my life. It hit even harder last couple years combined with my adhd. I was perscribed adderall, and when I took it I noticed the hopeless feeling lessened, however when it wore off it returned and bothered me all the more for getting relief. I am not sad ALL the time, but just waste a few hours a day sitting around when it gets crushing. I finally brought it up with my doctor and he wanted to give it another month. Ive been doing every possible thing I can to change my mood, but I'm not "happy" although I haven't been particularly sad this week, I haven't been happy either. Just a bit ****** and frustrated with the world.

I feel like I can manage like this though, it gives me additional motivation in some ways even though its not pleasant. I go back here 2 weeks and I'm not sure if I should say I feel better or not. If it'll just dull me out, that's pretty much what Ive managed to do on my own. I feel like attempts to turn my life around have been blunted somewhat by just not caring, now that I can focus enough to actually do stuff, I start to make an attempt to get dressier clothes, be more social, but end up thinking, eh there's no point anyway I won't enjoy it. My friends have all tried to get me out to go to parties and the like, and I'm always saying I would hate it, because I would, but i'm not sure if that's me or my depression. I'm a people person at heart when happy.


I can get along with almost everyone. But for example the college parties my friends want me to go to, I focus on all the negatives, idiotic sorority girls, drunk idiots. A focus on getting laid. I 100% have an issue with some of that stuff. However sometimes I wonder if my tolerance for it is tainted by depression, if maybe were I "normal" I would still feel the same but also see the benefits and tolerate the bad better.<link href="chrome://s3gt/skin/s3gt_tooltip.css" type="text/css" rel="stylesheet">

atSWIMtooboreds
03-23-15, 08:58 PM
you should try wellbutrin or maybe an SNRI if you're already feeling emotionally muted. that's what helped me. i realized my depression was a *lack* of feeling when i first got medicated.

heavyiron15
03-23-15, 09:14 PM
you should try wellbutrin or maybe an SNRI if you're already feeling emotionally muted. that's what helped me. i realized my depression was a *lack* of feeling when i first got medicated.


I can feel happy, extremely happy sometimes. But then what i would call reality creeps up and I'm just like whats the point, I guess I would characterize it as a lack of hope. On adderall I CAN get depressed, but I have hope. Otherwise I just can't logically be hopeful.
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atSWIMtooboreds
03-23-15, 09:23 PM
i know exactly how you feel. sounds like the adderall might be doing some of the antidepressant work. it did that for me. are you taking it right now?

heavyiron15
03-23-15, 09:35 PM
i know exactly how you feel. sounds like the adderall might be doing some of the antidepressant work. it did that for me. are you taking it right now?


Yeah, we are still working up the dose. So far its an 20mg XR and a 10mg IR later, which both work if on an empty stomach, but don't if I eat a big meal before.

Like I'm concerned I'm just high or something and not rational. But I'll take my meds, get thinking, damn, why haven't I cleaned up my closet, why don't I really look into dressing classy? Maybe I should go check out some parties. Basically Its not that I think it'll all go amazing, I just feel like I can tolerate it if its not. Then I figure I must be being irrational and euphoric, so Ill go do what I need to do then sit down and do nothing til it passes. Then typically the crushing feeling comes back and any decisions I made suddenly sound very pointless. For example, Why should I dress particularly nice when the only girls who care would be shallow gold diggers whom I don't want to associate with so thereful there is no reason to dress unusually classy. Then Ill get depressed about the whole prospect. Vs on adderall my thought process might be, Hey, maybe Ill just attract a classy girl?

Basically I feel like the ideas I have on adderall are absolutely delusional, unworkable, stupidly optimistic. I'll tell myself for example if a date doesn't go well who cares, I'm moderately attractive should be enough, intelligent, so forth. Basically I shouldn't feel like I failed at life. If that happens otherwise and its been this way for years, I am like, well I am clearly unattractive, awkward, I have no right to act confident because i have nothing to act confident about compared to her. I'm my own worst enemy. To use the dating example, I won't even want to particularly try that hard on a date because i would be afraid of attracting a fair weather individual who only liked the happy seemingly confident me. Vs on adderall Its easier to handle the stress and worry.
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atSWIMtooboreds
03-23-15, 09:43 PM
yeah that sounds like me. wish i had something more helpful to say!

heavyiron15
03-23-15, 10:01 PM
yeah that sounds like me. wish i had something more helpful to say!


You've been helpful, is it considered a no no to request a specific drug?

atSWIMtooboreds
03-24-15, 12:24 AM
You've been helpful, is it considered a no no to request a specific drug?

not in my experience.