View Full Version : feeling like giving up


fosterthehuman
04-14-15, 04:33 AM
i feel like i'm doing really bad right now. i have constant forgetfulness, i have to re-read papers in class to understand them. not paying attention in class, mishearing information, not understanding simple tasks/directions. and it's been causing me to make mistakes in front of others. i wasn't on meds for the last two weeks because my psychiatrist thought i should stop using the ritalin i was on. I was also on Zoloft and a while ago, I was on Concerta. I was put back on Concerta yesterday, and I honestly don't know if it's going to help this time. I just feel like my adhd has gotten in the way so much this year, it's kind of spiralled out of control. I didn't really see this problem last year when I started taking meds. I've only been diagnosed with adhd for two years and I thought by finally getting diagnosed, it would help but I seem to be going backwards and acting the way I used to act in high school.

I don't want to leave my house because i'm afraid i'll make another mistake. I'm afraid i'll forget something even with medication. This constant worrying makes me really anxious around people because I feel like they're judging me for these mistakes. It makes it really hard to sleep at night and it's been the cause of a lot of my depression lately. I just feel like when I try implementing other habits like taking vitamins, sleeping better, eating better, doing hw, I end up going off track. And I feel like it's obvious to other people around me, like my faults are on display for everyone to see. And it's painful.

I feel like if I was diagnosed earlier in my years, this issue that i'm having now would be easier to manage. Because it seems like such a small problem to others. But it's been a huge problem for me my whole life. I feel like I also can be more strict about my sleeping pattern, things I eat, reminders, writing things down, and staying organized. But lately, depression has been eating away at me. I feel like a vegetable sometimes. I'll just sit in my room for days, doing nothing, getting nothing. Only to regret later on, that I should have done my hw, studied for thar test, gotten some more sleep. I feel like it's my fault for the way i've been behaving recently. I feel like if I cared more about this issue, I would have been able to complete these tasks easier. I know I can still try to do things right but now I feel humiliated about the mistakes i've already made. I feel like the damage is already done. I guess I'm saying that it's hard for me to face the world with confidence again when they've already seen me at my lowest point.

hg12345
04-14-15, 07:22 AM
I'm so sorry that you feel this way. Guilt, shame, regret... I can definitely sympathize. But if you can't manage without the Ritalin then I would suggest speaking to the psychiatrist about this.

sarahsweets
04-14-15, 08:19 AM
What was the reason your doctor took you off the Ritalin? Was it working?
As far as the feelings you are having I would recommend getting that anxiety checked out. It sounds more like it could be a mental health condition and not so much related to meds and such. Best wishes keep your chin up!

fosterthehuman
04-14-15, 05:52 PM
What was the reason your doctor took you off the Ritalin? Was it working?



It wasn't working, and I mentioned it to her so she took me off of it and recently stated that i have severe depression. so i was only taking meds for my depression as well as my anxiety for the past two weeks. i was diagnosed with social anxiety around the same time i was diagnosed with adhd. i think that might have a lot to do with the way i react to these situations.

InvitroCanibal
04-17-15, 02:29 AM
Try nicotine if it's allowed. Great stuff for adhd.

As far as,school, get your meds figured out, put school on hold for a few months. You can't deal with this much stress and not get burnt out. Trust me i've been there. You may want to see it to the end but no matter how well you do you"ll get burned out if you don't give yourself some supports like meds.

Give yourself a semester off to find some solutions.

Pilgrim
04-17-15, 05:16 AM
I think I've been there and I agree with INVITRO. Give yourself some time to recuperate.

Go back to the Dr. I think whilst on meds I've been through this once maybe twice.

The best thing chill out and don't put any unnecessary pressure. Try to get some exercise and fresh air. Good medicine.

Hope you feel well soon.

TheChemicals
04-17-15, 09:01 AM
Might want to think about what comes after giving up. That'll put you back on track.

Lizzie80
06-11-15, 10:04 PM
i feel like i'm doing really bad right now. i have constant forgetfulness, i have to re-read papers in class to understand them. not paying attention in class, mishearing information, not understanding simple tasks/directions. and it's been causing me to make mistakes in front of others. i wasn't on meds for the last two weeks because my psychiatrist thought i should stop using the ritalin i was on. I was also on Zoloft and a while ago, I was on Concerta. I was put back on Concerta yesterday, and I honestly don't know if it's going to help this time. I just feel like my adhd has gotten in the way so much this year, it's kind of spiralled out of control. I didn't really see this problem last year when I started taking meds. I've only been diagnosed with adhd for two years and I thought by finally getting diagnosed, it would help but I seem to be going backwards and acting the way I used to act in high school.

I don't want to leave my house because i'm afraid i'll make another mistake. I'm afraid i'll forget something even with medication. This constant worrying makes me really anxious around people because I feel like they're judging me for these mistakes. It makes it really hard to sleep at night and it's been the cause of a lot of my depression lately. I just feel like when I try implementing other habits like taking vitamins, sleeping better, eating better, doing hw, I end up going off track. And I feel like it's obvious to other people around me, like my faults are on display for everyone to see. And it's painful.

I feel like if I was diagnosed earlier in my years, this issue that i'm having now would be easier to manage. Because it seems like such a small problem to others. But it's been a huge problem for me my whole life. I feel like I also can be more strict about my sleeping pattern, things I eat, reminders, writing things down, and staying organized. But lately, depression has been eating away at me. I feel like a vegetable sometimes. I'll just sit in my room for days, doing nothing, getting nothing. Only to regret later on, that I should have done my hw, studied for thar test, gotten some more sleep. I feel like it's my fault for the way i've been behaving recently. I feel like if I cared more about this issue, I would have been able to complete these tasks easier. I know I can still try to do things right but now I feel humiliated about the mistakes i've already made. I feel like the damage is already done. I guess I'm saying that it's hard for me to face the world with confidence again when they've already seen me at my lowest point.

:grouphug: You do care. If you didn't care, you wouldn't be sad or depressed over what you feel you've not accomplished well.

ADDers can try very hard to compensate for their brain's inefficiencies through obsessive worry and very strict attitudes regarding sleep habits, cleaning, organizing, exercise, diet, supplements, and so on. They feel if they gain control of exterior circumstances, it will quiet the chaos of their brain AND make them acceptable to society. Because co-morbid conditions such as anxiety disorders, Delayed Sleep Phase Syndrome, depression, and so on often co-exist with ADD, people can blame themselves for moral or ethical failures that are actually nothing of the sort.

A good diet, exercise program, good sleep, taking vitamins, of course they don't hurt. But from personal experience I can tell you that even controlling all of that AND your environment beautifully AND being well-medicated does not always work things out. I know that's discomforting, but I hope in some way it will set you free. Because in knowing that even if you gained control of these things perfectly and were "your best self", life would still not be ideal, maybe you can let go of trying to control them. I wish someone would have told me sooner that my attempts to be perfect were not going to change exterior circumstances all that much.

A lot is asked of people today. This is a generation which is the most literate and (formally) educated in history, yet also has to deal with expectations unheard of even thirty years ago. We're in the most dire economic crisis since the Great Depression, but we have employment and societal problems unheard of back then. In school, on the job, at home...support structures have broken down for many of us, while expectations (and expenses) have gone way up. I don't know you, don't know your life, your family and friends, how well you've been treated by the world around you, your socioeconomic circumstances, etc. But maybe you are blaming yourself for things that are far beyond your control. Maybe with more support, less demand, less stress, you'd be okay. Maybe you're trying to take on too much for who you are and where you are mentally and emotionally right now. Maybe the workload is the problem, not you. I don't know you, I just ask you to not necessarily look at yourself as the first problem in the equation.

Sometimes a different medication strategy is needed. Medication is a pain in the neck to try and get right. It also gets frustrating trying to medicate ourselves into adapting to this world of ours, pleasing it, living up to it- whatever world that might be for each of us. Often, outside help in the form of an organizer, cleaning service, or therapy is needed to keep up with today's demands. Sadly, many cannot afford this or can't find the good people for it. Yet they can't afford to stop trying to keep up with the demands of society. I wish I had all the answers. I just want to say you aren't alone, try not to self-blame before checking to see if maybe you've just bitten off more than you can realistically chew at this time, try not to compare yourself to others and what they achieve...but I know that's all hard. :umm1:

dvdnvwls
07-19-15, 09:35 PM
Here's an example:

When people go to the eye doctor because they're not seeing very well, some of them find out that they're near-sighted, some turn out to be far-sighted, and some have uneven sight. Each of them needs a different kind of lenses to allow them to see things as they are.

Your view of yourself, and of the people around you, and of the facts themselves, is all very far out of focus right now. You are better than you think you are. People are kinder and gentler than you think they are. Your faults are much smaller than you thought, and your value as a human being is far FAR higher than you imagine.

Don't let your current false vision of yourself become too deeply entrenched. Take the help that your doctor can offer you, and use that help to its fullest extent.

sarahsweets
07-20-15, 05:26 AM
No, it is not your fault. If good intentions and trying harder were the keys to treating it, we would all be med free and successful. The thing alot of people misunderstand, including our kind, is this disorder is chronic and lifelong. A 24/7 problem. We can only treat the symptoms. If treating the symptoms cured us, then it would be considered a cure and not treatment.It may be worth evaluating your anxiety/depression meds. Also therapy can make a world of difference when it comes to anxiety.

midnightstar
07-20-15, 05:37 AM
So sorry you feel this way foster :grouphug: