Am I the only one who doesn't think it's a good idea to post pictures of child such as the pic of the child in delta's post on the net??????????????

Obviously, I didn't think about it either as I have a picture of my son for an avator. Maybe, we're naive'.

Am I the only one who doesn't think it's a good idea to post pictures of child such as the pic of the child in delta's post on the net??????????????
Yeah I have my kids up too... I am not sure why it would be a bad idea... I think we are actually more protected here than when we take them out in public...

http://shorterlink.org/206

I think this is an interesting point about on line thinking. Censorship is rarely effective in protecting my kids from harm. Teaching them to think is very powerful.

I choose thinking over restriction every time. But I'm a wing nut. :eyebrow:

It certainly brings up a lot of issues I have never thought of before. I saved the link and information for further reading.

Thanks Ian

It was too long for me to read on the comp screen could someone plz write a summary of it or I'll just print it later.

Why is my picture not a good idea? I am very curious? I didn't post her full name or her whereabouts.....totally blown away!?!? I see kids pictures on Toys R Us and Walmart websites, please enlighten me?

I think that myself and some others would not think it dangerous to post your children's pictures on a forum like this. The link I posted pretty much sums up the things I think are important in regards to getting around on the internet.
Hope you found it useful.
Cheers! Ian.

Hey Ian, I guess because I am also on a Toddler message board where every one posts their childrens pictures, I do no think of it as a dangerous thing. Mostly because what the harm in a picture. I guarantee your link was very informative and pointed out the important safeguards. A picture as far as I am concerned is not harmful to myself or my daughter.

I had to go and let my emotions run wild and start a post about the comment irritating me, feel kinda bad about it now, as I am over it! LOL!

Here is the whole sheebang so you can print it out a bit at a time as needed. :)
Ian.


==============================


http://www.safekids.com/articles/critical.htm

Online Safety and Critical Thinking:
The lessons children learn on the Internet today could save their lives tomorrow.

By Lawrence J. Magid

Lots of people have written about child safety on the Internet and weighed in on various proposals to criminalize online pornography. And there have been plenty of articles written on the advisability of using filters in homes, schools or libraries in order to block inappropriate material from reaching the eyes of children. These issues are important and should be explored, but you rarely hear anyone talking about the positive aspects of inappropriate material on the Net.

Positive? How could it possibly be positive for kids to have to deal with smut, hateful and violent material? Well, it’s hard to find anything positive to say about that type material, but I do think that the presence of inappropriate material presents a challenge for children and families that, in the long term can lead to a wiser and more secure citizenry.

OK, maybe the material itself isn't positive, but how you, as a parent, deal with dangers or inappropriate material online can send a lasting message that children can apply to all aspects of their lives.

Let’s face it. While there are dangers associated with going online, the dangers are far less than many other things children will be faced with as they grow up. Whether it’s looking both ways before they cross the street, buckling up even when mom or dad forget to remind them, or knowing how to say no to a stranger who approaches them on the street, kids have got to learn to be defensive in the way they approach life. This is especially true as they reach their teenage years.

Teens are the Most Vulnerable

Statistics from the Department of Justice (DOJ) are startling. Young people between the ages 12 and 15 are 85% more likely to be sexually assaulted than the population in general. Teens between 16 and 19 suffer 3 1/2 times the sexual assault rate as the general population. Teenagers, regardless of race, are also far more likely to be victimized by other forms of assault and robbery according to the DOJ Bureau of Justice Statistics. In 1996, about 1 out of 10 teenagers was a victim of a violent crime, according to DOJ data.

Keeping ones identify -- especially their address, phone number and full name -- private when online greatly reduced the possibility of being victimized by an online predator. But, let’s put this into context. Statistically, kids are more far likely to be sexually assaulted by a family member or someone else they already know than someone they might "meet" in an Internet chat room. Yet, the skills we teach kids to remain safe on the Internet can translate to staying safe in "real life." The rules of conduct, whether focused on cyberspace or real space are basically the same.

And crime isn’t even the biggest danger. Throughout their teenage years, young people are confronted with many decisions that could have a profound impact on them, but mom and dad won’t be there to say yes or no and there won’t be any filtering software to prevent them from making a costly mistake. If kids can learn early to say no when they’re online, they might remember those lessons when they’re confronted with an important decision off-line.

Life Long Lessons

And it doesn’t end when kids turns 18. I know plenty of adults who have gotten themselves into personal, legal or financial trouble because of decisions they made that were not in their own best interest.

The need to think critically even applies to how we conduct ourselves as citizens and in the marketplace. People cast their votes based on 30-second sound bytes rather than studying a candidate’s record or make major financial decisions based on an anonymous tip, a salesperson’s or broker’s recommendation or something they read on the Internet. Is that critical thinking?

There are no control programs that can shelter people from those who would try to get us to buy something, vote for someone, join a club or a cult or fall for some get rich quick scheme that’s "too good to be true." But sound judgment can go a long way.

It Starts When They’re Young

The way teens and adults approach these decisions is usually based on lessons they learned when they were young. But the lessons are rarely specific to the individual decision. You can’t possibly prepare a person with a script that they can use to apply to every decision that they’re ever make but you can at least strive to equip someone with the judgment skills to approach all decisions in a critical manner. Those critical thinking skills that we carry with us our entire lives are based on what we learn as children.

So, when it comes to safety on the Internet, don’t limit your thinking to keeping kids away from porno and predators in chat rooms and don’t fool yourself into thinking that blocking sex sites will protect them from dangers on or off-line. Those are worthwhile things to do, but in addition to being ends in themselves they are also means to an end. What kids learn about Internet safety will stick with them even when they’re not online.

Confront the Issues

Confront the issue head on. I don’t know whether it’s right or wrong for you to use a filtering program in your home, but I do know that it’s wrong to rely on one as your only defense against dangers on the Net. One thing I do know for sure is that the best filters don’t run on computers, they run in a child’s head.

Go over the "My Rules for Online Safety" (www.safekids.com/myrules.htm with younger kids and "Basic Rules of Online Safety for Teens" (www.safeteens.com/teenrules.htm) with any teenagers in your family.

Most of all, talk with your kids. Ask them how they use the Internet and ask them if they can think of ways that they can stay safe. Be open, supportive and as nonthreatening as possible. Kids need to know that you won't overreact and take away their online privileges if they confide in you about troublesome people or material they encounter online.

Critical Thinking & The World Wide Web (http://www.library.ucla.edu/libraries/college/instruct/web/critical.htm)

Hint-print and highlight lol works for me everytime on long posts.

It's no problem at all. I am very promiscuous on the web and often post with more personal content than many. I used to sign my name with my co-ordinates but that seemed a bit much for even my cavalier tolerance for risk.

I'm a trusting soul that would rather take my lumps than live in a world where I couldn't make myself available as is. By doing so, I find people that are appropriate for my life. I've got a number of friends on line that have grown to be as close as the ones I meet with in person.

Connecting with people here and elsewhere has put an end to a life long need to keep my head down and stay isolated because I'm so different than the majority. It's been my salvation to find like minded folks and if I hid too much of myself, they would not be able to recognise me, so I don't bother being too private in my web habits.

Images of me with my children have been a pleasure for me to have as an avatar here. I am a critical thinker though and quite sensitive to manipulation. No doubt I'll be burnt over some things eventually, but for the most part the web has been kind to me.
Cheers! Ian.

Hi Ian. I read your post and the article last night. Critical thinking is very important to teach our children...I had not thought about it in terms of using the net. Thanks for the article.

I believe that when teaching kids about strangers, you need to teach them to think for themselves....and to have an awareness about strangers enough to be able to have a sense of safe and unsafe situations.

Teaching children to trust in their own judgement is frightening for parents - especially for moms I think. Because of our protective instincts and knowing how vulnerable our children are to the evils of the world.

I have dealt with my own anxiety issues....which included the simple task of crossing the street. I lost a younger sister and know that life is so fragile. So it's frightening. We tend to cling.

But our children need to know how to think for themselves and have the ablility to weigh matters of safety and to recognize red flags on their own.

I might have my sister today if she had the skill of critical thinking in order to make appropriate judgements -- which could have prevented her death.

I believe that Johna brought up a very important issue. Yes it may be a remote chance that a child will be traced via internet, however, I'll bet not impossible.

And what happens if someone is able to create a profile, overtime, with the info. that we post and reveal? Or What if someone hacks into, or steals the data base of addforums and runs off with identifying info.

Just what if. Probably not an easy task and most likely will never happen but i'd wonder if staying on the side of caution might be something to consider.

I know, many crimes happen against and by acquaintances [has happened to me-- and so I am more cautious.] Just a thought. Thing is, if a thief wants to get into your house, he/she can and will.

And that goes for finding people over the net. Just be careful with those sweet babes of yours.

Maybe it would be a good idea for the admins to clarify this issue or at least give us guidance.


******************************************
and Delta, if you can, let yourself have the privilege of venting and expressing your emotions. You need not be embarassed with us. We really do understand.

It seems that while emotions are really hard to express and sometimes we [me included] don't give ourselves the permission to talk about them; to become vulnerable, it is actually by this process that we begin to feel freer. It just takes time to trust and know that it is really okay. And safe...

I agree that women tend to "mother". This may be the great unsung role of fatherhood. There seems precious little place for reverence of the role of fathers in parenting but I know that I'm the prime mover on these issues here, and it's both acknowledged and encouraged. I'm grateful for that.

Interesting comments. Thanks for taking the time to post.

The role of exposing our children to risk in real ways that allow them some familiarity with consequence, is a topic I'm very interested in. I've always been somewhat impatient with the degree to which "mothering" has dominated the parenting horizon, while mens roles are much less well defined outside of being authority figures and bread winners.

In classic ADD tradition this all makes me think of the Harry Potter series and how the fears of children are not shied away from in those stories, and how characteristic of our culture it is to have been so removed from them for so long that we appeared starved, and ate the books up in record numbers.

The Americanisation of some of the content irritates the skin off me, but that's another deep pail of gunk to dredge through one day maybe. Fortunately for me, Canadians got it all unfiltered.

http://www.addforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=16247

http://www.addforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=16974&highlight=safety

I think this about covers the lot of it. :)

Just in case you are all wondering...I took out the posts about the conflict about the thread being hijacked since they didn't fit either thread anymore.

Hope you don't mind.

Kim

These incidents are statistically rare. They're just overhyped by the media.

Of 19,000 child fatalities in the UK, only 2 were killed by those they didnt know. A far higher proportion (although I can't remember exactly, something between 500 and 700) were killed by those they had regular contact with.

If anyone thinks you're safe in posting on this forum or other forum..or anywhere on the net you're so very wrong. Everytime you're on the net you leave behind a mark. When you post a picture of a child or that matter anyone people can scan it...change it and post it anywhere they want to. Not to mention they might be able to find out where you live just by doing a simple internet search. Are you willing to take that chance with a loved one?

Not to mention they might be able to find out where you live just by doing a simple internet search.

What does that have to do with posting pictures?

And this can only be done if you've given that information out elsewhere, through an unsecured server.

The words cut, paste, and scan come to mind.

I had to go and let my emotions run wild and start a post about the comment irritating me, feel kinda bad about it now, as I am over it! LOL!

;) your fine...........

Thanks for shortning it. No I think it's ok to post something like your kids on the web unless your getting at people who will seek them out. But I think it is quite safe on this site and I never thought of it before so it can't be that bigger issue can it? If I have got this all wrong plz tell me I am sometimes very slow to get things.

Many good posts here to give us all something to think about..................

I will add my point of view just for the record...............

My 15 year old daughter has her own computer, high speed internet access, her own website, MSM is her instant messanger of choice........

She has learned how to download things, do her school projects, access any computer on our home network, and many other things that will become second nature to her when she goes out into the real world.......................

No where does she have her personal contact information posted as she learned 2 words and the meaning of them before she was allowed to run as free as she is on the internet...........

The 2 words when learned when she started using the web and her computer...........


Common Sense

We can not hide them away from all the dangers of life, but we can teach them how to recognise and avoid situations that are dangerous.

Much of what I see on the internet is nothing more than a marketing ploy to get us to spend our money to lure us into a false sense of security........


Anti Virus
Fire Walls
Net Nanny
and the list goes on


I worked for 17 years with people and computers in various aspects from sales to repair to programing....................

To me the most improtant lesson to learn is that

When you go out on the internet your computer is having sex with all the other computers that it comes in contact with..................

If you dont want someone to see your finacial information that is stored on your computer.....

............ Don't keep it on your computer............

If you are afraid of getting a virus

............ Don't Download stuff ............
or better yet
............ Don't use the internet............

If you are afraid of some pervert finding your children via the internet
............ Don't post anything about them on the net............


Or

Learn how to protect yourself , your kids and your computer from the rest of the world.....

Don't rely on other people who produce all this fancy software to do it for you.....


Don't let the marketing ploys of other people influence how you enjoy the internet and what you do and where you go on the net........


Learn to protect yourself


I set up my computer with Windows, and MSM and a few other programs that I use , got it all working to access the internet and then I took an IMAGE of the setup ............

The image allows me to restore my computer back to the original setup within 5 min and all virus's, spyware, ect are gone...................

My computer network is online 24/7 and I get virus's and spyware quite often and it is gone at the touch of a few keys and mouse clicks........

It took a long time to learn this and a lot of heartache but it was well worth it as I havent had a computer problem in years now as I simply restore my computer every couple of days to the original setup and away I go again

Bottom line to what I am saying regarding posting pictures of the kids is

Use Common Sence --- Dont put any information out here that would allow someone to trace back to you......

Your IP address which is your computer address is available for anyone to see but they cant just call up your Internet Service Provider and say

" Whats the Street Address of this computer that is on your network "
To get that information from your service provider would require either a court order or a very experenced hacker and if it was an experenced hacker and he wanted to know things about you, he is going to find out no matter what you do anyway..............

My general opinion for what it is worth..........

Trust your own " Common Sense " and dont rely on someone else to protect you.......

To be fair Garry not all computers are as vulnerable to the malicious ways of the wild Internet. Computers running almost any variety of the Linux operating system don't have these problems. When they do it's very rare and easily repaired.

When I ran winduhs I used Norton Ghost to image drives so that I could clean up after Micro$oft's Swiss cheese approach to security. It's a beautiful thing to image a drive and have all your settings in place and be ready to rock with a single application instead of dancing with a fresh install of winduhs. If I never do another reinstall of winduhs again it will be too soon!

In four years, I've not had a worm, virus, Trojan horse or any spy ware. I have not had a single intrusion and I have some very serious utilities to check such things. I do my updates nightly and relax that there are good people with better ideas behind the software I use. It's not perfect but at least I don't feel under siege all the time like I did when I ran windoz.

The the curious than don't know there are alternatives out there, the bootable cd version of Knoppix will give you a peek at what you may be missing without having to do an installation of any kind.

The now popular Internet browser "Firefox" (http://www.firefox.com/) comes from the same development environment that Linux comes from. Some of you might be familiar with it.
Rabid GNU/Linux, open source, free software, supporter. Ian.

Very good point Ian

I keep looking at those cds you sent me and keep saying I have to try that out one of these days and then I just restore my image and carry on

maybe I should bite the bullet and try it ...........

Besides if I dont like it I can just rerun my image program and reinstall winduhs now cant I

Naw.. ehhe you carry on. Although you know it's going to be good! :D
Cheers! Any time you want a hand you let me know.

Grin I installed it todsay and it went well till it wanted the 2nd disk and had a problem reading it

Seamed to read it if I put a wee bit of preasure on the cd tray and seemed to go ok

till I went to boot up and it got to the area where it was loading the e-mail program and hung

so I went to reinstall windows to find that the linex had reconfigured my hard drive particions

It was a fun afternoon

but Im back with windows

and its now bed time

What install guide did you follow? Those cd's will be outdated by now. Too bad they gave you trouble. I checked them before they left here so they ran for me.

You'll want to do some planning before the install. There are plenty of resources on line for this type of planning. It pays to put a little learning in ahead of time.

Bummer... now it will be months before I'll be able to talk you into it again! hehe

Buying a cheap drive to put Linux on is an easy way to get started. How much room had you left unallocated for Linux?

Dang! Wish I could have been there.
Cheers!