View Full Version : Is there a difference between being 40 and female or 40 and male?


sarahsweets
04-23-15, 04:35 AM
I turned 40 and Ive been trying to not feel like some old fart. I dont think I look my age but maybe I am lying to myself. I have noticed by listening to some other superficial women who basically act like being 40 as a woman is way worse then being 40 as a man. Like a 40 year old man is an attractive, finally mature man, but a woman is over the hill. What do you guys think? I dont participate in these gossip discussions, Ive just overheard them. Maybe I am kidding myself and I look really old but have some kind of blinders on. I look at my husband who is 41 and I dont think he looks his age either although I am madly in love with him so perhaps Im blind there too? Is there some sort of double standard when it comes to age and men and women? I know as far as actors go, women have a harder time getting roles as they get older. I dont know why I am feeling like this becaue usually I dont give a f**k but its something I just thought of.

BellaVita
04-23-15, 07:58 AM
You're 40!!? :eek:

I seriously thought you were 31! You look great!!!

TheChemicals
04-23-15, 08:15 AM
From my experience. Women after 35 are more active and fun than men in the same age range.

stef
04-23-15, 10:04 AM
I don't think, socially, that means much anymore. The only thing that bothered me about turning 40 was that I STILL didn't know what the hell I was doing, in general. When I was younger I had assumed I would have "grown up", sometime in my 30s.

Unmanagable
04-23-15, 11:10 AM
Anyone who can't see beyond the external view needs to be kicked to the f'n curb, in my opinion. Eye candy is nice, but once they speak, it typically can go downhill quickly, regardless of the age.

As we age, and begin to shed the superficial beliefs that society has brutally pounded into our brains our whole lives, we hopefully begin to see the true value of people beyond just looks, especially within ourselves.

I've never been skinny or gorgeous, according to what society deems acceptable, but I finally feel like a beautiful bad a** in my own mind and heart, and that's all that truly matters in the grand scheme of things. Took me 48 years to finally believe it.

I'd say be much more careful who you allow between your ears. Insecurity breeds quickly. Been there, live it daily.

mctavish23
04-23-15, 02:50 PM
HB... TUT Spelled Backwards Is Still TUT :eek:

u r welcome :cool:

Corina86
04-23-15, 03:29 PM
I don't know what life is like for 40 year old people, but some of my female friends who are over 30 say that they definitely have a much harder time getting dates than they did when they were younger and most men their age prefer younger women. I can't speak from experience, but younger women+ older men seems to the norm. Then again, even if this is true, 40 year old ladies could still date 50 year old guys. After all, it's not like there are enough young women out there for all age groups :D.

As far as jobs are concerned, young people in general are advantaged and unemployment among 45-65 year olds is a serious issue here.

Flory
04-23-15, 07:22 PM
I really don't see forty as old at all for either male or female.

I believe advertisements and media drive this idea that at 40 you become a hideous witch and you should start using their products to avoid aging and all of that drivel and it's nonsense.

Besides you're a f***in' rockstar .....and don't forget the ADHD 30% rule.... ;)

icarusinflames
04-26-15, 09:46 PM
Is there some sort of double standard when it comes to age and men and women?

Yes because no matter what age you are, if you are a woman, you will always be judged based on the standards of the young maiden as ideal woman. I always thought that was really sad. Women will do anything to look younger, while their young daughters are insecure and hate their bodies and their looks despite the fact that they are in the best shape they will be in their whole lives. And why? I have no idea but we like to drive ourselves crazy and depress ourselves, for the sake of the few who can fit the mold and be seen as "attractive".

icarusinflames
04-26-15, 09:53 PM
Anyone who can't see beyond the external view needs to be kicked to the f'n curb, in my opinion. Eye candy is nice, but once they speak, it typically can go downhill quickly, regardless of the age.

As we age, and begin to shed the superficial beliefs that society has brutally pounded into our brains our whole lives, we hopefully begin to see the true value of people beyond just looks, especially within ourselves.

I've never been skinny or gorgeous, according to what society deems acceptable, but I finally feel like a beautiful bad a** in my own mind and heart, and that's all that truly matters in the grand scheme of things. Took me 48 years to finally believe it.

I'd say be much more careful who you allow between your ears. Insecurity breeds quickly. Been there, live it daily.

I like your attitude, Unmanagable! I'd like to think that all people have the ability to mature and grow in wisdom. I'd like to think that. :)

Tmoney
04-27-15, 11:21 AM
Yeah I'm with BellaVita, I would have guessed early 30's. I'm being serious! So no you don't have blinders, you look great for your age.

I always believed that women really care more about what other women think more so than what a man thinks of them. I think to younger men in there 20's a woman of 40 sounds old. But at 51, I'm a firm believer that if you take care of yourself and you are good people, that is more attractive than anything else!

A woman of confidence is extremely attractive. You go that.
A woman who speaks her mind honestly is attractive. You got that.
A woman who truly cares about others and is willing to do what she can to help is attractive. You got that.
A woman who puts family above all else and speaks highly of their kids and significant other without hesitation is very attractive. You definitely got that.

You look marvelous but more importantly from what I can see from this forum you area great person and there is nothing in the world more attractive than that!

"We don't stop playing because we grow old, we grow old because we stop playing!" ~George Bernard Shaw

mbrandon
06-05-15, 02:21 PM
For women it all depends on smooth and supple skin.

Everything else is just attitude and personality.

acdc01
08-12-15, 10:37 AM
This week this older married guy I barely know at all tells me that I shouldn't be so picky after he asked me if I was single and I said yes. He said he knows women like me who are successful professionals can expect too much in guys and need to just settle. I highly doubt he'd say such things to guy. And in his mind he's actually trying to help me here and doesn't hold any animosity towards me.

This guy has met me maybe three times in a work setting and we barely spoke on anything but business for more than 10 minutes prior to this conversation.

But it just goes to show that a woman who is 40 or over is seen as having something wrong with them if they aren't married. Yes, we shouldn't let people like this affect us but it does get annoying and it is frustrating to think many if not most people are probably thinking the same thing even though they don't outright say it. Society I general makes women feel worse as we age.

Lunacie
08-12-15, 11:11 AM
I don't know what life is like for 40 year old people, but some of my female friends who are over 30 say that they definitely have a much harder time getting dates than they did when they were younger and most men their age prefer younger women. I can't speak from experience, but younger women+ older men seems to the norm. Then again, even if this is true, 40 year old ladies could still date 50 year old guys. After all, it's not like there are enough young women out there for all age groups :D.

As far as jobs are concerned, young people in general are advantaged and unemployment among 45-65 year olds is a serious issue here.

I had several men hitting on me when I hit 40. Older than me and younger
too. I looked younger than my years until I hit my 50's. Before that, people
thought I was the mom instead of the gramma. ;)

When I'm looking at men I don't worry too much about their age, although
if they're under 25 I'm not really interested. No naive boy toys for me. :giggle:

theloner
09-02-15, 06:00 PM
I turned 40 and Ive been trying to not feel like some old fart. I dont think I look my age but maybe I am lying to myself. I have noticed by listening to some other superficial women who basically act like being 40 as a woman is way worse then being 40 as a man. Like a 40 year old man is an attractive, finally mature man, but a woman is over the hill. What do you guys think? I dont participate in these gossip discussions, Ive just overheard them. Maybe I am kidding myself and I look really old but have some kind of blinders on. I look at my husband who is 41 and I dont think he looks his age either although I am madly in love with him so perhaps Im blind there too? Is there some sort of double standard when it comes to age and men and women? I know as far as actors go, women have a harder time getting roles as they get older. I dont know why I am feeling like this becaue usually I dont give a f**k but its something I just thought of.

Some of us like sex a lot more than when we were younger, guys have those hormones going through them when they are young, women are not the same, it hits some of us at 32 or say a little later. Then you may notice guys at the same age do not want sex as much when they hit their 40's, complete opposites.

I need to read all that was posted here, maybe the big M is starting to hit you, it can hit you at 40.;)

aeon
09-03-15, 01:23 PM
In western culture overall, to the degree that men are judged as success objects, and women are judged as sex objects, in general, men gain worth as they get older, and women lose worth as they age.

That said, judging people as objects isn’t my cup of tea, and generalizations are not typically a means to deep insight about the human condition.

Also, when it actually comes to relating to people, I think it comes down to the natures of those two people if we are talking of coupling. For some, the object model I mention above will be valid and work for them. If they are happy, great.

I don’t want to objectify anyone. I want to relate to them as a human being, as I understand what that means. Some people appreciate that, some people don’t.

So I think there are some differences, but they don’t mean much to me. In the end, people are people. I want to see the parts not often seen, the parts that don’t age, the parts that make someone human regardless of their outer shell. I want to hear stories, I want to hear what someone loves, what hurt them, and what they need and dream of.

And sarahsweets, to the degree I know you from your posts on this forum, you will be a beautiful person from this day until you are a crone, and may you make it that far and your husband alongside you. Those who think you are worth less because you are 40, well...that’s a perspective and they can rightly f*** off.


I’m rambling,
Ian