View Full Version : New here & Need Friends!


icarusinflames
04-24-15, 05:12 PM
Hello!

I'm a 44 year old woman who literally just figured out that I probably have ADHD. I have an appointment for an evaluation in late May but it's so incredibly difficult to wait for this. I was hoping to meet some people who have ADHD, especially women, and try to learn more. All the descriptions of ADHD are totally me.

As you can imagine, I have very little support because all my relationships are either damaged from various conflicts or I just never bonded very deeply with some friends who are more like acquaintances I would never call to bother them.

Also, last December I learned that my husband has cancer again, for the second time, and this time it's in the lungs so the prognosis is not good. The amount of guilt and sadness I feel is out of proportion, perhaps, but I feel so bad to realize that I had undiagnosed ADHD and that's why we had so much marital discord for 15 years! I never took care of my husband as well as I should have and he was always fighting me about the state of the house and what we will eat.

I'm glad I realized that I need to get an expert evaluation now, because there's some hope now actually. I have a hope to support myself and my daughter now.

Does anyone know a good website or resource that details all the specific areas of cognitive struggles for ADHD? Like for example, with sequencing and prioritization, or even going into more precise cognitive processes.

Thanks

Corina86
04-24-15, 05:18 PM
I'm sorry about your husband! It's definitely not your fault though. Cancer is not due to arguing with your loved ones.

There's lots of information right here, on this forum, if you look long enough. You can use the search function or browse through different subforums (different types of ADHD, different types of medication, diagnosis, comorbids, etc). Sequencing and prioritization are symptoms of ADHD, but there are plenty more symptoms for this disorder.

midnightstar
04-24-15, 05:21 PM
It's definitely not your fault :grouphug: Sorry to hear about your husband :grouphug: You'll find we're all a supportive bunch here :grouphug:

Fuzzy12
04-24-15, 05:23 PM
I'm really sorry about your husband's cancer too. Like Corina said there's a lot of info on this site.

There's also a detailed descriptions of ADHD and all it entails in a transcript from a talk by Russell Barkley, one of the leading experts on ADHD. I'm on my mobile so can't link it right now but I think you can find it on his website if you google him.

TheChemicals
04-24-15, 10:02 PM
Welcome! Many good people here. Not me i suck, but i know the good ones that can help. Sorry about husband, scary thing to have to go through.

Pilgrim
04-25-15, 03:40 AM
In my humble opinion there's heaps of information here.

Sorry to hear about your struggles thus far.

A lot of us here have gone for a while never knowing what's not quite right.

Sorry to here about your husbands illness.

Take care

icarusinflames
04-25-15, 08:13 PM
I'm sorry about your husband! It's definitely not your fault though. Cancer is not due to arguing with your loved ones.

There's lots of information right here, on this forum, if you look long enough. You can use the search function or browse through different subforums (different types of ADHD, different types of medication, diagnosis, comorbids, etc). Sequencing and prioritization are symptoms of ADHD, but there are plenty more symptoms for this disorder.

Hi Corina!

Thank you so much for your kind reply. You are so right. Yeah the arguing was regrettable but not something that would cause illness. He was more irritable, I see in retrospect, when he was starting to get more tired from being sick. What I regret is that I didn't get any help sooner. It would have made such a dramatic difference in creating more happy memories for all of us!

icarusinflames
04-25-15, 08:15 PM
It's definitely not your fault :grouphug: Sorry to hear about your husband :grouphug: You'll find we're all a supportive bunch here :grouphug:

Hi Midnightstar! :grouphug: I'm so glad to have found this forum (and get my registration approved manually. tytytyty Abi)! I feel like I came home finally.

icarusinflames
04-25-15, 08:18 PM
I'm really sorry about your husband's cancer too. Like Corina said there's a lot of info on this site.

There's also a detailed descriptions of ADHD and all it entails in a transcript from a talk by Russell Barkley, one of the leading experts on ADHD. I'm on my mobile so can't link it right now but I think you can find it on his website if you google him.

I'll check him out. I found a link to a video lecture here on the add forums, although people are joking that nobody with ADHD can sit through a 2.5 hour lecture by Russel Barkley. I myself probably can! If I am interested in a subject, I can sit and research it for the entire day and night, and probably for multiple days!

http://www.addforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=138795

Thank you so much for the tip!

icarusinflames
04-25-15, 08:23 PM
Welcome! Many good people here. Not me i suck, but i know the good ones that can help. Sorry about husband, scary thing to have to go through.

Hi TheChemicals. thank you so much for your kind and funny reply. ;) Life is rather scary but also fun and wonderful. THe thing you would never realize is how much a tragedy can actually help someone, in a weird weird way. Like if my husband had not gotten sick like this, and also if my daughter was not having problems in school, I may never have come to the end of my rope and finally lost control the way I always feared. In that final failure, like not even being able to pretend that I am managing things OK...then I started to realize that actually I may have a significant unknown problem. There's more hope now, and we are all communicating much more as a family and reconnecting with each other too during this difficult time.

icarusinflames
04-25-15, 08:25 PM
In my humble opinion there's heaps of information here.

Sorry to hear about your struggles thus far.

A lot of us here have gone for a while never knowing what's not quite right.

Sorry to here about your husbands illness.

Take care

Hi Pilgrim!

Thank you so much for your kind reply. It's so cool to participate in this forum! I noticed that there are a lot of very intelligent and interesting participants here. The messages are unusually thoughtful and good, it seemed to me. I had a little time to read the forums before I could participate, due to a problem with registrations at this time. I kept thinking that I must get in, because these are my people. lol