View Full Version : Feeling "inward"


willow129
05-03-15, 05:18 PM
I'm trying to think about how to explain this feeling/effect of methylphenidate (36 mg)...I feel very focused on my feelings, very inward, don't really want to be around many people, just one person is good, or sitting by myself reflecting is good.

I'm really engaged with the conversation with whatever person I happen to be with, though.

I'm not sure I like this though. Don't think it's productive or helpful.

How do you all feel while socializing on this med?

(I've thought this dose was too high for a while, appointment next week)

hg12345
05-04-15, 12:00 AM
I had a pretty bad experience with concerta. It made me so sleepy and like you said, very unsocial. It did not help me concentrate at all. Adderall did the trick for me

willow129
05-06-15, 04:25 PM
Thanks for your input hg!!!

Pychiatrist switched me to adderall today after I described this to her. :)

I hope it works!! :D

finallyfound10
05-06-15, 11:03 PM
I feel very focused on my feelings, very inward, don't really want to be around many people, just one person is good, or sitting by myself reflecting is good.

I feel this way!!! I'm so wrapped up with myself all of the time. I just thought it was because my life became such a wreck and I've was trying to stay afloat and now slowly on my way to get better and I have to spend this time focusing on me to get better.

I don't feel like socializing and thought it was anhedonia and/or depression.

I never thought that it was Concerta that is causing it. Interesting!! I have a new Psychiatrist who kept me on it but took me off of 60 mg Zoloft to 30 mg Cymbalta. I wonder if that will change anything.

I'm going to research this and let you know what happens!

willow129
05-07-15, 06:11 PM
finallyfound, yes please do!! let me know if you come to any conclusions, even if it's just your own personal experience.

I tried the adderall today and yesterday and I do feel pretty different. But I haven't been in any really social situations, so I can't say for SURE but...I think I wouldn't have that overwhelmed feeling.

finallyfound10
05-07-15, 07:44 PM
I looked up "Concerta and Depression" and "Stimulants and Depression." I found that there is plenty of anecdotal evidence to support that it's quite possible for this to occur. It is crazy the way some people describe it just like you and I do.

I really think that that may the main cause of my "anhedonia/depression" at this point. I am not sure what I'm going to do.

Let me know how adderall works for you!

willow129
05-08-15, 01:07 PM
Wow finallyfound, it would be really cool if concerta was the thing that's causing your anhedonia/depression - I mean not cool, but awesome if you found the answer to what's going on with you!! I hope that is the case :)

Well I'm on 10mg Adderall now (compared to 36mg methylphenidate, which was toooo muuch I think, and I guess the adderall's more potent) yesterday was my 2nd time trying it (didn't take any today) and it definitely feels a lot less "heavy" than the methylphenidate. I feel a lot clearer and kind of motivated/excited. Still a little dreamy though >.< but it doesn't feel like I'm in a fog.

finallyfound10
05-08-15, 03:09 PM
willow,

I think it's a good sign that you feel clearer, motivated and excited and not in a fog.

I'm going to follow what's going on with you then if it goes well, going to call my new psychiatrist who I just saw last week to try it.

I know that everyone reacts differently but I think it's very interesting that we both were on 36 mg of Concerta and feeling the same way and others are too!

Do you have the Hyperactivity or are you Inattentive? I have Inattentive.

willow129
05-09-15, 12:16 AM
Wow! I am so excited that I'm helping someone haha!

Anyways, yeah, I plan on taking my 10 mg in the morning tomorrow, I'll let you know if anything significant happens haha

I am also inattentive :) I was totally wondering that too, I mean about you. So interesting that we were on the same dose...

(My psychiatrist was really surprised with how detailed I was about my explanation of how it made me feel. I was thinking, well, I work part-time so I have a lot of time to think about it. But I'm glad even more because I feel like, if I take the time to reflect, I can potentially give other people insight as well! :) )

finallyfound10
05-11-15, 03:52 PM
willow, Verrrryyy interesting that you are Inattentive too!!!! Dr. Barkely addresses the emotional blunting on stimulants which is what we experience in this video.

I am wondering Strattera or Intuiv would be better for those (me) who don't have the H.

How are you feeling on the new med?


"Dr Russell Barkley on ADHD Meds and how they all work differently from each other"

http://https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LnS0PfNyj4U&feature=youtu.be

willow129
05-11-15, 07:46 PM
Hmmm am on my boyfriend's computer and that video doesn't work. I'll have to try it when my website blocker runs out on my computer...(I'm cheating on the blocker right now using my boyfriend's laptop to check ADDF bad me!!!!)

Is Strattera one of the drugs that's not a stimulant? Anyways what was I saying ummmm oh yeah I *think* I like the idea with stimulants that you can take them or not take them, it seems kinda flexible. Like you can have medicine vacations. Dunno what your feelings on that are?

So, yeah, the new med:

Get ready, I'm a detail girl...
It definitely doesn't have the heavy feeling that methylphenidate did. I still feel a little bit like I .... stop and reflect on things more? But not as much as with the (I'm tired of typing it I'm just going to call it methyl for short lol) methyl. And I don't feel anti-social. That's probably the most important thing for you! But for some more detail: I feel good enough about it that I took it at work today (I'm a music teacher, did I mention that? That's why I was concerned about feeling antisocial/overwhelmed, really not helpful for being with potentially annoying children. I mean I love them but let's be honest!) I'm extremely tired cuz I didn't sleep enough so this may factor in but I felt that in class today...that I talked slower, I almost think I had an easier time choosing the right words to express what I wanted. Not something I expected to happen! I taught the same lesson to Kindergarten in the morning and 1st grade later in the day when the meds were wearing off and I think I did get back into my awkwardly not quite being able to find the right words state of being in that class.
Don't know if that's useful to you at all!

I'm not sure that there's been a huge boost in my productivity though lol, I have to admit. One thing with the methyl. was I had this day where I took a pill and sat down and bulldozed my way through my entire to-do list. Can't THINK of a time that I've ever done that, otherwise!! I haven't experienced that yet on Adderall. Bummer, I could use it right now.

The other thing is I'm on Instant Release, and it kicks in noticeably and I feel in a much lighter mood/more optimistic suddenly. But it seems it's there and gone so quick I'm not sure I'm able to pull myself together to take advantage of it. I feel inspired and want to do things and then it kinda goes away and I feel a little empty! To be honest...

Also holy hell the dry mouth is wicked!!!! Hard to be singing and talking and everything with that particular side effect! Haha. Oh also I have IBS and it seems to be triggering that a little too. Also not great for being at work...boo.

Ha!! OK, I think that's absolutely everything I can think of about my experience with Adderall! Probably more info than you wanted!

Have you talked to your psychiatrist yet? How long have you been taking Concerta?

Powderbucket
05-12-15, 02:29 PM
I think I know what you mean about the "inward" feeling. Personally, I love it because it I find that I'm thinking and considering things a lot more than I used to. I try to look at it positively, and see how I can use all this "consideration" to my advantage, especially when I'm around other people. I can see how it could make a person depressed... I mean... you're thinking and considering things a lot more seriously than you used to. This can be scary!

But.

I do take Ritalin when I need to - 10mg IR. It gives me that "jump" in the motivational direction. It also gets rid of the heavy thinking that Concerta gives me.

For me, it's not about the chemical, it's about the release mechanism. In other words, XR means I'm a chilled-out lazy bum and I need to exert some of my own willpower to get into things. The IR does all the exertion and happiness for me. That being said, I hardly have any side-effects or "come down" effects with XR. IR has a lot more of them. I'm sticking with the XR because I enjoy the effort I have to put in to change my behaviour and feelings.

willow129
05-12-15, 04:50 PM
Nothing really to do with this thread, but a funny story about being UNmedicated today! I had the day off today, and was going to go to a professional development at 11. Decided not to take meds, I don't think I'll need 'em today, I says to myself!

Left late for the class because I couldn't tear my nose out of my book, forgot my boyfriend has the GPS, called him for directions, couldn't focus on what he was saying so drove by the street I was supposed to take twice, got there late, couldn't find parking, park in a 10 minute spot and ask one of the people there were there's parking, decide I'll just leave my purse and stuff here so I don't have to carry it around (despite having been told I needed to pay in the lot), get to the lot, park, ARGH my purse is in the building, go back, walkwalkwalk, get purse, back to parking lot, walkwalkwalk, pay, all told a half hour late to the class.

Lol :) I mean, I don't know exactly what the medicine might have helped with in this situation, but I like to think it would have prevented at least ONE thing. :D :D anyways, carry on!

willow129
05-12-15, 05:00 PM
Powderbucket - So you find that concerta and ritalin had different effects on you?

It's interesting, I mean I did enJOY the self reflection on the methyl., but I also think in general I sit and day dream enough and sort of need to motivate a little more. Though, it did seem to help with that as well. It was a mix...Personally it didn't depress me, but the thing that did seem negative was that I actively disliked being around a lot of people when I had taken my 36 mg. I found it overwhelming. I also felt distinctly uncomfortable, on that med, when the attention was turned on me for the purpose of me making a decision. That happened to me more than once, but one time was in the classroom rehearsing with another teacher and he asked my opinion and I found I just couldn't give one. I sort of didn't care/wanted someone else to just tell me what to do. But having a conversation with just one person was extremely awesome and I was very focused and absorbing what they were saying and it was super interesting!! It made me feel like I've been missing what it's like to have a one-on-one conversation with somebody, my WHOLE life lol.

BellaVita
05-12-15, 05:27 PM
Hey if those two meds don't work for you - try Vyvanse.

My SO is inattentive and it works REMARKABLY well for him.

He splits the dose into 2 doses so it lasts all day, like a super-extended release. (He puts the powder in water - drinks half in morning half in afternoon.)

finallyfound10
05-13-15, 12:39 AM
I had a nice long reply typed and I lost it!! Grrrrrrr.........

I'll respond tomorrow!

Powderbucket
05-13-15, 03:51 AM
Powderbucket - So you find that concerta and ritalin had different effects on you?

It's interesting, I mean I did enJOY the self reflection on the methyl., but I also think in general I sit and day dream enough and sort of need to motivate a little more. Though, it did seem to help with that as well. It was a mix...Personally it didn't depress me, but the thing that did seem negative was that I actively disliked being around a lot of people when I had taken my 36 mg. I found it overwhelming. I also felt distinctly uncomfortable, on that med, when the attention was turned on me for the purpose of me making a decision. That happened to me more than once, but one time was in the classroom rehearsing with another teacher and he asked my opinion and I found I just couldn't give one. I sort of didn't care/wanted someone else to just tell me what to do. But having a conversation with just one person was extremely awesome and I was very focused and absorbing what they were saying and it was super interesting!! It made me feel like I've been missing what it's like to have a one-on-one conversation with somebody, my WHOLE life lol.

It's good to remember all the positives :) It is pretty awesome when you can engage with people properly.

And yes, Ritalin and Concerta do have similar but different effects with me. Ritalin is like a cowboy. Concerta is like Buddah. They have the similar "focus" effect and my emotions are very well governed - Ritalin just does some extra work for me, whereas Concerta demands more effort from my side. I swop and switch if I need to, depending on what lies ahead during the day.

willow129
05-13-15, 08:46 AM
I had a nice long reply typed and I lost it!! Grrrrrrr.........

I'll respond tomorrow!

Doncha hate that!!!! Lol I'll look forward to your reply :D

willow129
05-13-15, 08:50 AM
It's good to remember all the positives :) It is pretty awesome when you can engage with people properly.

And yes, Ritalin and Concerta do have similar but different effects with me. Ritalin is like a cowboy. Concerta is like Buddah.

Ha! I love the comparison

So something funny my psychiatrist said, because I still have some methyl pills left from last month, cuz I didn't take them all the time, and now I have the prescription of Adderall on top of that. Anyways she said well, you can save the ritalin for the perfect day to take it, sometime when you're going to hang out with just one person for the whole day! :P

TygerSan
05-13-15, 08:59 AM
Concerta at low doses made me sleeeepy. Like couldn't keep my eyes open sleepy. Higher doses were weird for the first 3 days. I went up to a full 72 mgs. It never really felt like it was doing anything for focus (the higher doses made me feel jittery like I'd had too much caffeine). It did make me space out and dissociate occasionally, which was really unpleasant.

Adderall worked better, though I wouldn't count on the kick in the pants motivation to last, sadly. The problem I had with adderall was that I could go down rabbit holes. It helped tremendously with focus, but channeling that focus towards research and away from games was rough. It sucks to look up at the clock and realize you've been playing the same casual game for 4 hrs straight.

willow129
05-13-15, 09:36 AM
Concerta at low doses made me sleeeepy. Like couldn't keep my eyes open sleepy. Higher doses were weird for the first 3 days. I went up to a full 72 mgs. It never really felt like it was doing anything for focus (the higher doses made me feel jittery like I'd had too much caffeine). It did make me space out and dissociate occasionally, which was really unpleasant.[QUOTE]

Ergh yeah that sounds like the wroooong med.

[QUOTE]Adderall worked better, though I wouldn't count on the kick in the pants motivation to last, sadly.

Curious to hear more about this. Was your experience that it wears off? When I first took the adderall I have to admit I was thinking wow I can see why this is addictive, I feel very UP right now.

With the rabbit holes: yeah, something I've been thinking is that non-meds I've figured out all these things for coping and figuring out my life and how to manage. With meds now there's a whole new feeling and it's like, now I have to have new ways to "cope" sort of. But the positive is...well, off meds basically part of my coping is just accepting that there are things I can't do/just won't happen. I think with the meds now some of those things I had written off might actually become things I can do, if I can figure out how to work it.

Must pull self out of ADDF rabbit hole being fed by Adderall right now though >.< ha!

finallyfound10
05-26-15, 02:52 PM
Sorry that it has taken me so long to reply!

I really think that it is the Concerta causing my anhedonia, feeling of depression and just blah. I went 3 and 4 day stretches in the last two weeks not taking it since I wasn't working (I work 3 twelve hour nursing shifts per week and only take it when I work) and I noticed that the day after I took it, after the breaks from it, I had low energy, no interest in anything social, depression etc.

I do feel better in general since going off the Zoloft and on Cymbalta, however.

willow, how is the Adderall?

willow129
05-26-15, 04:34 PM
hmmm it really sounds like you should see if a different med might be better for you finallyfound!!

The adderall is much more practical for me! It's going well. I'm still remembering that day that I took the methylphenidate and I busted through everything on my to-do list BUT there is no guarantee that it would have been like that all the time. On the Adderall I'm not quite AS enthralled by one-on-one conversations lol but I don't randomly space out and miss things people have said either. I definitely do not feel overwhelmed by being around people, I didn't think that meds could help with my teaching but I think the Adderall has helped. I express my ideas much clearer and I talk slower and can kind of just...slow things down somehow. When I need to respond to a kid, I am able to with the Adderall. When I'm unmedicated I kind of blow over things and get distracted. On methylphenidate I didn't want to be the center of things and make decisions. Definitely not a side effect of Adderall, for me. Yeah, Adderall is definitely a better fit for me than the methylphenidate was!!

finallyfound10
06-12-15, 05:21 PM
I had my psych appt on June 8.

I'm still on 36mg of Concerta. What he did change was upping the Cymbalta from 30 mg to 60 mg per day.

When I told him that I was feeling better since starting Cymbalta, he said let's up it to the standard dose which is 60 mg and see if it helps. If that doesn't help with my feelings of depression/anhedonia then we will look at the Concerta.

I think that going this route is good so we'll have something to compare. I go back to him on July 24 so I'll have a chunk of time on 60 mg of Cymbalta while continuing the 36 mg of Concerta.

I'll keep you posted!!!