View Full Version : I drink every day to feel calm, I need an alternative

05-04-15, 05:32 PM
First time posting. I've painfully made myself read all the rules. Sorry if I screwed something up.

Anyway here is my issue. I drink everyday. Why? Because its the only way I can feel calm. I exercise almost everyday, eat right, sleep pretty good but I still drink. I used to mediate as well but it didn't help. I can get through the work day without drinking. I drink about 2 litres of beer an evening minimum. More when I have time for a hangover.

I have done for 20 years. Usually around mid-afternoon the anxiety just builds in me to such a point that I just think - how soon can I get those first two beers down me? Once I've had them, I'm ok again and don't want to drink too much. I can drink other things but no matter what I'm drinking I just gulp it down so I stick to beer.

The longest I have gone without drinking is 12 days (court ordered ankle bracelet for aggressively resisting arrest whilst drunk and zonked out on sleeping pills) If I had a drink I would go straight to jail and they came to check all the time. They told me when you, quit drinking and you'll feel calmer. I felt no such thing. I was climbing the walls. I started cleaning and organising things from the moment I woke to the moment I crashed into bed. I just had to keep going and going so that head didn't explode. I made it through - just. The fear of jail (literally my worse nightmare) kept me sober.

My idea of happiness is a sleeping pill and just a couple of drinks but I can't get hold of sleeping pills anymore. They are wonderful. I just feel relaxed and calm. I can take sleeping pills first thing in the morning and just feel, normal. No desire to sleep.

Anyway. Its catching up with me. I'm in my 30s and I got pretty high blood pressure. Going to the doctor tomorrow and he will probably put me on pills (as I have lost NO weight due to that sugary beer I need to drink to feel calm)

I've read that certain blood pressure pills can also assist anxiety, in particular guanfacine and clonidine. Should I ask the doctor for beta blockers and calcium channel blockers?

I'm on 75mg venaflaxin (reduced from 225mg to try and help BP come down - hasn't helped) and 80mg strattera. Ritalin made me feel anxious. Used to have vicious panic attacks. I've got orifil which was supposed to help me not want to drink - made no difference as it didn't make me feel calmer. In short, none of this had made me in any calmer.

I have been prescribed so many things which are 'supposed' to help with anxiety. The only thing that has ever worked are sleeping pills. I have begged my shrink for sedatives/ benzo's / sleeping pills but she just gave me all these useless antihistamines which did nothing apart from make me very angry that they wouldn't help me. They just go on and on about addiction. So I'm stuck with the one thing I can get my hands on that does calm me down: alcohol.

What to do?

05-04-15, 09:13 PM
Exercise. 45 minute walks. Blow all your energy in somthing physical.

05-05-15, 01:22 AM
Thanks for the response.

I currently exercise around 60 - 90 mins a day.

05-05-15, 01:53 AM
Lexapro or other gad meds.

My gene pool has alcoholism. I use will and removing anything that contributes to what I want to stop doing. No reduction or moderation... Just completely stop. Contributors to drinking are first your friends and/or family. Second is being idle.
Third is gateways. Hanging out in proximity of alcohol or places where you might feel it's okay to drink I.e football games, parties, etc.

Once you defeat the problem you can return to your life but with caution and determination. Willpower.

05-05-15, 04:20 AM
You need to take a look at whether you are addicted to alcohol. I am not a person who will call another person and alcoholic but it sounds like you have a physical addiction combined with a hefty amount of mental obsession. The only way to move past this is to learn to live a life alcohol free,. Yes it will be hard but there are many programs that can help.

05-09-15, 10:33 PM
We have all been in our dark times, if you want help stick with this forum. My personal advice (may not be everyones) is try get off the drugs first. Even drink your way through withdrawl. 1 step at a time

05-11-15, 10:42 PM
A couple things that help me:

Don't keep enough alcohol at home to get yourself in trouble. I'm on the decline now, and sometimes I'll buy a 22oz beer on the way home from work. It's only two beers worth which is more than manageable.

I've been buying sparkling water by the caseload recently. Just carbonated water and lime flavor. It's a great replacement. Also try hot herbal tea in the cold months to help calm down.

05-20-15, 04:33 AM
I just wanted to revisit this after giving it some thought. The fact that you mention sleeping pills and alcohol, or that you want sleeping pills, benzos is a red flag to me. It sounds like you are looking for a mood altering escape.