View Full Version : How to have DAY 1 session of psychotherapy (Question)


icarusinflames
05-07-15, 04:35 PM
I have a terrible time when deciding what therapist to go see. One of the major issues is that I have only had really bad therapists in the past, who had no understanding of me and often seemed to disapprove or be trying to push me to do something. I can't trust someone to actually listen to them unless I feel they accept me totally. It's a huge problem, since I will be telling them all the garbage of my life, and feeling bad about it. I do not need to compound my traumas with yet another bad therapy experience.

SO.. I was thinking of scheduling the first session with the opinion that it's just a meeting, and I don't have to go anymore. And if the therapist doesn't persuade me that they are the person for me, then I will leave and never come back.

In order to be able to get more certainty up front, I thought about going and showing them my worst, rather than acting like I'm really OK and very sweet, and acting like I'm just there to be all sweetie pie with them. I'm sick of that, because then you find that it's 6 months or a year later, and you just wasted part of your life with this person.

SO... what the heck do I do? Should I go in there and just lay it all on the table and straight out ask them what they can do for me?

Or do I go and be patient and try to get to know the therapist over time, see how they function with me?

If you start therapy on day 1 with being a bit confrontational and brutally frank, will that affect the course of the therapy in a bad way where the person will always see you as demanding and rude or something?

willow129
05-07-15, 06:08 PM
I feel like laying it all on the table is kind of how I managed to get diagnosed!

You know, if the things you've been doing thus far haven't found you the right therapist, then maybe you're right and it's time to do something different!

icarusinflames
05-07-15, 06:10 PM
I feel like laying it all on the table is kind of how I managed to get diagnosed!

You know, if the things you've been doing thus far haven't found you the right therapist, then maybe you're right and it's time to do something different!

Thanks Willow. You're right. I worry about appearing confrontational, but I am only comfortable being direct. I must admit I am terrible about hiding, and then feeling miserable doing it.

willow129
05-07-15, 06:21 PM
I think you can lay it all on the table without coming across as confrontational. The thing is, it *is* also something you're paying for. And it benefits YOU to be honest with the therapist. And you're there for YOU. The therapist won't be able to help YOU if you're pretending to be someone else.

You know, if you say...I haven't felt I got what I needed from therapy in the past, but I want to try again and I really want to be honest with you....etc.

I've written things down to bring to therapy and then never actually took them out, but it did help me figure out what to say.

Do you think writing something down would help you to convey what you need to?

willow129
05-07-15, 06:28 PM
I'm also a little curious - you talked about how you didn't really act like yourself in your past therapy sessions. Could some of the difficulty with being honest come from it being hard to talk about the "garbage" in your life? Is that something you might have to overcome as well?