I’m 22 years old. I am currently living in a sorority house. Yes, I’m in one of those Greek-letter sororities like you see in movies. I hate it. I’m an orange in an orchard full of apples. I have no friends. What made me join one in the first place? 1. Boredom. 2. Fraternities and sororities are made out to be such a big deal in the south that one can’t help but wonder. 3. Around the time I joined, I had a low self-esteem; I thought I was ugly and believed that joining a sorority would make me ‘prettier.’ This was all pre-diagnosis and treatment. In a way, joining the sorority was probably one of the best things I could’ve done because it made me realized that everyone else didn’t ‘study’ like me. When they planned to study for 30 minutes, they didn’t sit and stare at a textbook for all of 3 minutes and spend the next 27 of them walking around the room. My roommate at the time also gave me a few of her boyfriend’s 20 mg Adderall pills on occasion. The pills worked like a charm, I put 2 and 2 together, and there ya have it. I had additional beef with a particular group of girls in there; unfortunately for me they had full control over the sorority chapter. There were about four girls at the center core and they had the two corner rooms in the sorority dorm. They called themselves The Corner. I don’t know why The Corner hated me. I don’t remember doing anything to them. I think they had a problem with my being in survival mode, which was how I always was prior to treatment. I also apparently broke quite a few unspoken social rules which I didn’t (and still don’t) pick up naturally. The Corner didn’t like this, so they spread nasty rumors about me and turned a bunch of folks against me. I stayed in there because my dad said it would be good “learning experience” for me, on “how to deal with people.” I’d told him they’d spread rumors about me, saying that I was a **** (which I’m not) and he would just tell me, “Well, don’t act ****ty.” It was like no matter what was said between our interactions, he would always side with the other party. Then he got impatient with it all and (this was last spring) began calling me socially imcompetent and all that other garbage. I had planned to move out of the sorority house and out of the sorority before this year started. Why did I stay? 1. the girls were kind of starting to get along more. 2. I thought I needed another year in that sorority house because I believed at the time that my social skills needed drastic improvement before I went out into the workplace. Big mistake. Nothing’s changed. In fact, things have gotten a lot worse. I have social anxiety. This interferes with how I perform in groups that involve any sort of interaction. I want to figure out how to reduce these bizarre stress levels. Hmm, more about me. Don’t have a learning disability. Fast reader (when on meds), almost too fast for my own good. I put stuff off a lot – I’m the procrastination princess. I’m notoriously late to pretty much anything. Lately, if I know I’m going to be late for something, I’ll skip it altogether because I’d rather do that than face the severe anxiety of walking in late. The teacher gets mad and all the students look at me. I’d rather avoid it and I’d love to arrive earlier but I just can’t seem to do that simple little thing. My mom grew up in Philly, PA, so that would make me half southern belle/half yankee. I’m spontaneous. A former catholic school girl. ex-ugly duckling. intelligent - never mistake my endearing ditziness for stupidity; I can assure you, I am no idiot. creative. unique. a trip. Fully aware of my aesthetic qualities and this I will admit; I don’t care if that makes me vain. Pisces. Hardcore music freak. Hilarious when drunk. elegant. vulgar. witty. sarcastic. a human mass of contradictions. If you're gonna screw something up, give it one hundred percent and do it in STYLE. The sorority house I live in feels like a concentration camp. I hate school. I am sick of being The Incompetent One. Should I print this out and give the <?xml:namespace prefix = st1 ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" /><st1:place w:st="on"><st1:PlaceName w:st="on">Student</st1:PlaceName> <st1:PlaceName w:st="on">Disability</st1:PlaceName> <st1:PlaceType w:st="on">Center</st1:PlaceType></st1:place> a copy?<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /><o:p></o:p>