View Full Version : My daughter graduates from IOP on Thursday!

07-27-15, 04:31 AM
Anyone who has kept up with my situation knows how hard it has been for my dear Ella. She is 11 and was inpatient for 2 weeks, then went to partial hospitalization and now IOP (Intensive out patient program). Well she graduates Thursday! What a journey this has been. She no longer is suicidal and has been stable on her Lexapro and Trazodone. It was a hard decision to medicate believe it or not, because surprisingly, I had reservations about antidepressants and kids. I know, I know this is a shocker coming from me but denial is a very real thing even though I am bipolar and medicated. She still has issues with anxiety. I am worried that school will be a trigger. She is very nervous because her friends have told her that people wanted to know what happened because she was out of school since the second week in May.

Its normal to have issues with starting a new grade. Last year she had anxiety and it slowly became unbearable as the school year wore on. I hope the worry about school doesnt cause some sort of backslide but we are prepared if that happens. The good thing is just because she is discharging from this program doesnt mean she will not be allowed to return if things get bad.

Thanks to everyone for your support.

07-27-15, 10:03 AM

So glad to hear this, and wishing you all good health and coping in the coming year.

07-27-15, 10:36 AM
Very similar to our situation last year. All but the hospitalization, but we were VERY close to doing so.

We came up with a lie. My daughter tells everyone she gets really bad migraines. Not sure if the kids believe it or not, but I think it works well enough. To make the lie more believable even the teachers are in on it.

So happy Ella is feeling better!

My daughter is also on Lexapro, 15mg, for a year now. We are currently tapering down.

After lots of therapy, we have continued to see big bumps in the road, although looking at the whole picture things are really going well. My daughter has low anxiety often, but high anxiety only occasionally now. The good thing is, even at times when her anxiety caused her to miss a whole week of school this year, she went back. So when we see the anxiety hit hard, I try to keep optimistic being that the last several severe bouts have been short term. And I think when we worry that her anxiety will lead to long term school refusal again, this only leads to her anxiety ramping up and remaining due to our anxiety about the whole situation. I just wanted to share our experience so if/when you see school refusal you don't assume that this is another repeat of the past with months out of school. It may be just a short term bump in the road.

Another thing that helped us. My daughter forming a relationship with a school counselor that she could see whenever she needed (although the counselor was not always available). Didn't always work, but sometimes it did. Even a teacher helped once to calm my daughter down and she ended up being fine the rest of the day. So some adult support in school who Ella could form a good relationship with who knows her past might help.

Again, so happy Ella is feeling better.

07-27-15, 11:37 AM
Wonderful news! So glad she is doing better.

I love the idea of an adult at school she can count on, no questions asked.

My youngest, Hannah, had them at her middle school and high school. It really helped her to know she could talk to them whenever she needed to. (her problem was not anxiety so much as overwhelmed. She went one year to a school that was a total nightmare socially, then her 1st year in high school she got pregnant. She really needed all the support she could get)

When does the new school year start?

07-27-15, 12:21 PM
So happy for you and Ella! Give her lots of extra ((((Hugs)))) from the addf crew on grad day!

07-28-15, 04:36 AM
You all are so right, it was the substance abuse counselor that actually helped Ella last year. My oldest daughter is involved in a club that raises awareness for substance abuse and also Al-a-teen which has helped her cope with my alcoholism. It turns out the counselor is also a recovering alcoholic and she and I got on very well last year. We participated with a group program called strengthening families which really was more geared towards kids with serious behavior issues and theit families but I am all for help no matter what kind it is. I need to call her as a matter of fact to see whats up for the following school year. Has anyone dealt with a child returning to school the following year after having gone through what we've gone through? She was given all the work she missed and when she was inpatient and in partial, she had tutors so my understanding is she received incompletes until they received the work to turn in her grades. I cant believe I am only now just remembering that. Its been a white knuckle thing in this house over the last few months that I have completely dropped the ball.

07-28-15, 01:05 PM
My daughter was in 10th grade when she had her baby. She was home bound for a few weeks before he was born, then a few weeks after.

They sent a tutor to our house. As long as Hannah turned in her work, she was given full credit. Up until the work was turned in, yes it was incompletes for her grades.

She went back to school right at the end of the school year, so she did get to take the end of course tests. Does Ella have to take tests to pass her grade?

07-28-15, 02:18 PM
My daughter missed the last 2 months of 7th grade. The school provided a tutor for 2 hrs a day and she had some homework as well. She passed everything no problem.

07-28-15, 07:32 PM
Congratulations for her, this whole situation must have been very stressful for you. Paul

07-28-15, 08:10 PM
love to you, love to Ella

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