View Full Version : I think I've kicked alcohol out of my life for good, story and junk

08-08-15, 10:15 PM
for the past ... ohh 8 months, I've taken my alcohol consumption down considerably (and before that it was down from a long while ago, anyway). every step I felt good but still felt a cling sometimes. so I got comfortable with the idea that I would be a weekend warrior... so to speak. even then, I would usually get it and drink 4 or 5 and not the entire 6 pack because I felt... off.

the old friend hadn't become a friend anymore.

now this is a new thing, about 3 weeks old (roundabouts). I've been getting into pretty good shape, daily work out, been working on music and showing some good results, started programming(getting back into I should say), then I applied for school again and got in.

there really wasn't any question if I would get in, but when I did I felt an amazing surge in confidence. I have a plan for the future, a real plan. this was really the kicker in when I started feeling really good about myself and things started to fall into place more concrete like. I went on for about a week and a half like that then decided to have another drink, it's been a while, what is the harm.

I felt horrible afterwords, I only had a 6 pack but for 2 days I was out of it, I couldn't get my motor running. what had been propelling me is the health story. while weightloss isn't what is propelling me in that direction, loosing unhealthy fat (for the person) is part of being healthy. I said I will work out and not worry about it, that my body will know were my weight should be (because I have no medical problems). not drinking every 2 or 3 days is however what I attribute to loosing so much weight so quickly, so it was easy to not drink for 6 days. I let that thought propel me.

then when I lost my mojo after having it for so long the knowledge of what exactly a depressant is hit me like a ton of bricks. you always know, but knowing and "knowing" are two different things.... especially when you are new to this emotion thing.

"I can't get into the groove because alcohol is a depressant and I've been feeling overwhelmingly happy for the past week and a half"

I won't inflate this thread with more internal loopings around this, but the realization of what alcohol truly does to me in this way, how it emotionally stops me in my tracks has been breathtaking. now, I have two reasons not drink (more, but I won't get into that), and after making that realization I haven't even been tempted, some of the anxiety that used to be there is gone.

08-15-15, 07:07 AM
Good for you. I am an alcoholic and I know that you are not but awareness over the negative effects of alcohol never hurts.

08-16-15, 10:05 PM
I go through bad periods of booze, in a controlling manner...then I completely stop, then repeat the process after a few months.

I hate it and I love it.