View Full Version : Back here


Fuzzy12
08-17-15, 06:23 AM
Maybe it's time I stopped fighting it. I guess, we all knew that sooner or later I'd end up here again.

:(

sarahsweets
08-17-15, 06:31 AM
Maybe it's time I stopped fighting it. I guess, we all knew that sooner or later I'd end up here again.

:(

And thats ok...dont beat yourself up. You are already feeling down, dont focus on how you knew you would be down again or any of that negative self talk,
Keep your chin up.

Unmanagable
08-17-15, 11:05 AM
I've not yet learned how to totally avoid going there, either. I don't think we are meant to not ever go there, as we so often wish for, we're just not meant to unpack and stay there. Wishing you a swifter than usual dig back up and outta the ditch.

aeon
08-17-15, 01:36 PM
Fuzzy, consider that your energies would be best spent being loving toward yourself, and not fighting.

Consider that “ending up there” is no end, but part of a journey. It has been otherwise, and shall be again.

Consider that it may be a signal to yourself of unmet need, unexpressed self.

And as someone who also has depression, both chronic dysthymic and at times, acute severe, I know that what I said above might be helpful, might be incomprehensible, and might even be a source of frustration and **** you off.

Know that I do mean well. I am sorry to hear of this, because I have suffered, and it is a suffering with little equal for me.

I hope you shall not suffer, and if you do, it is not for long.


well wishes,
Ian

p.s. Thanks for sharing with us. That’s a loving thing you did for yourself.

phantasm
08-17-15, 08:11 PM
I always try to remember that we can't appreciate the good if we don't ever experience the bad. Even though the bad totally sucks, especially when we can't control how long it lasts or how it feels. We eventually rise up again. Take care!! http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-gen026.gif (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php)

Fuzzy12
08-20-15, 12:39 PM
Thanks guys. I'll try to keep in check the negative self talk, which is difficult because I so know exactly what I need to do to make myself feel better but I'm not doing it.

I always try to remember that we can't appreciate the good if we don't ever experience the bad. Even though the bad totally sucks, especially when we can't control how long it lasts or how it feels. We eventually rise up again. Take care!! http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-gen026.gif (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php)

Thanks phantasm. What I'm scared of is that once I start sinking beyond a certain point it's a long, long time before
I rise again. I'd like to avoid that stage if I can..nib it in the bud..while I still can. Maybe trying to fight it is making it just worse..like quick sand...but what else can I do? I can't give up.

There has to be a way to fight this without the struggling becoming counter productive but I don't know how but I can't just let go. I can't just let allow myself to sink further because it will just get more and more difficult to get up again.

Fuzzy12
08-20-15, 12:46 PM
I always try to remember that we can't appreciate the good if we don't ever experience the bad. Even though the bad totally sucks, especially when we can't control how long it lasts or how it feels. We eventually rise up again. Take care!! http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-gen026.gif (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php)

Just noticed the emoticon..as always..love it!!!:lol::grouphug:

VeryTired
08-20-15, 12:58 PM
Fuzzy--

It IS scary to think one might sink below that certain point. I know the feeling and I sympathize with you. But I notice that your depression seems to track pretty neatly with your reduction in the ADD meds--maybe the most important thing is to keep taking that medication, since it helps you keep your life manageable?

Fuzzy12
08-20-15, 01:08 PM
Fuzzy--

It IS scary to think one might sink below that certain point. I know the feeling and I sympathize with you. But I notice that your depression seems to track pretty neatly with your reduction in the ADD meds--maybe the most important thing is to keep taking that medication, since it helps you keep your life manageable?

Yes, it does, doesn't it? :( I think, it's not just the reduction in the meds and the associated reduced motivation, emotional regulation, functionality but also the thought of not taking meds for the foreseeable future. I'm just feeling so damn sorry for myself... :lol:

It's not just the meds by the way. I'm also feeling incredibly sorry for myself for quitting smoking and I think that is making me depressed as well (I mean quitting smoking.. Not just feeling bad for myself though that doesn't help either).

I have to stop the meds (and smoking) at some point. It will never get any easier but everything else will get more complicated if I keep postponing stopping the meds.

Fuzzy12
08-20-15, 01:34 PM
Funnily enough, I'm doubting again more and more that I really have ADHD. Maybe I've permanently damaged my cognitive function through years of severe depression or maybe I really am just lazy, stupid and crazy or maybe I just expect too much from myself. Maybe everyone has always just expected too much from me.

Maybe it doesn't matter because the stimulants definitely helped but especially if I don't have ADHD or if I don't have severe ADHD then there has to be a way to live without stimulants right? Live well..or at least reasonably well.

VeryTired
08-20-15, 01:35 PM
Well, if your doctor tells you you can't have a baby while you're on meds, then maybe that's how it has to be. But I think some people do stay on meds during pregnancy, and maybe you could discuss that possibility more with your doctor.

But also, you have said that you aren't yet definitely trying to get pregnant. I have a feeling the transition away from the meds would be easier if you definitely were doing it for that reason right now. Whereas going off the meds now because you might possibly in the future have a baby sounds like a lot of disadvantage for unclear benefit. The people I know who are taking medication for ADHD seem to see it as a necessity for their health more than as an option.

Fuzzy12
08-20-15, 01:55 PM
Well, if your doctor tells you you can't have a baby while you're on meds, then maybe that's how it has to be. But I think some people do stay on meds during pregnancy, and maybe you could discuss that possibility more with your doctor.

But also, you have said that you aren't yet definitely trying to get pregnant. I have a feeling the transition away from the meds would be easier if you definitely were doing it for that reason right now. Whereas going off the meds now because you might possibly in the future have a baby sounds like a lot of disadvantage for unclear benefit. The people I know who are taking medication for ADHD seem to see it as a necessity for their health more than as an option.

I've spoken to a perinatal psychiatrist and she said that if I think I can't manage without meds she'll prescribe me strattera though I don't exactly see the point of that. There isn't enough data on either of them to conclusively say that they are safe during pregnancy but apparently strattera might be safer than dex. Based on what I've heard about strattera though I think it s definitely not worth the risk for a possibly reduced efficacy.

I think you are right. One we are actually trying though or once I'm actually pregnant the motivation to quit these things and to stick to quitting will be stronger.

phantasm
08-20-15, 02:09 PM
Fuzzy, have you considered creating a thread seeing how other folks here have conceived being or not being on meds? Only to see how they went about planning a healthy (physically and mentally) pregnancy while trying to maintain their ADD health?

Like if they had to go off everything, or if certain meds were ok, or what?

Maybe there are other ways to consider that your doc isn't aware of, or isn't considering and you can ask him/her about it.

Verytired had a good point... But also, you have said that you aren't yet definitely trying to get pregnant. I have a feeling the transition away from the meds would be easier if you definitely were doing it for that reason right now. Whereas going off the meds now because you might possibly in the future have a baby sounds like a lot of disadvantage for unclear benefit.

coffeesudoku
01-23-16, 02:18 AM
You want to just keep trying and keep your head up. It's hard to sit around and feel depressed all the time, especially when you don't have someone else to talk with. But the best thing that you can do is keep your head up.