Just a thought....

Preschool:
When my adhd son attended preschool, he was kicked out and we were told to "Bring him back when he was properly medicated". This was immediately following their annual Halloween Party. The party activities were way too much stimulation for an adhd kid. He was so pumped up that he was running around knocking down all of the decorations and the cardboard boxes they had set up like Halloween Town. I can vividly see it still to this day. He looked like a lunatic running all over uncontrollably. I remember being so devastated that I took him home, put him in his room while he cried out of control. I later went to my parents house nearby and I cried also. He slept for several hours while the other kids all were out trick or treating. He finally woke up. My husband took him to one house up the street. He said something inappropriate and mean to the old lady that gave him the candy. He came immediately back home again. That was a horrible Halloween. I will never forget the words "Bring him back when he was properly medicated".

Kindergarten:
When he was in Kindergarten, the teacher (who supposedly was educated in adhd) called me constantly because of his behavior. He was not allowed to attend the after school daycare because the daycare providers were not able to handle him. When they were practicing for the Kindergarten graduation, they were angels in church. He didn't want to sing, wear wings, or practice lining up. I vividly remember that phone call from the principal. "His diploma is in his bookbag and we are just going to call it a day".

Elementary School:
Grades 1 through 5 are a big blur. I fought every minute of it to get the special needs that he deserved. I couldn't wait to get out of there. We pretty much got "Don't let the door hit you in the butt on your way out".

I wonder what wonderful words of wisdom we will get at the end of our 6th grade year? Or better yet, high school.

You sound tired and frustrated and I hope you can find something that will work for your family.

May I ask what kind of special needs you thought would have helped him?

Were the teachers under the impression that they were doing all they could do or were they not bothering?

As far as the special accommodations that we thought would help...anything would have been better than what they were offering us.

As info, my daughter goes to a private catholic school and my son goes to a public school because of his special needs. In our case, it's definitely a "get what you pay for" deal.

Elementary school was very hard for us because the teachers, principal and counselor were not familiar with classic adhd symptoms. I mentioned in another post, that when we first had our IEP done while in Kindergarten, the teacher who wrote it, also wrote the remaining IEPs through 5th grade. Every year, we thought she knew what she was doing.

Well, it turns out, that the diagnosis that she had written was "learning disabled in math and reading". There was no mention of his doctors diagnosis of adhd, ocd and mood disturbance.

He got special accommodations for the learning disabilities but not the other issues. We had to fight to get everything written into his IEP, including a proper diagnosis.

Then it took forever and a day to get the teachers to actually read the IEP. And then it practically took an act of congress to make them abide by the IEP.

I have so many binders full of teacher notes, behavior charts, and parent/teacher notebooks that went back and forth, progress reports, notes to superintendents, etc.. and this, all while he had an IEP. I couldn't imagine what parents go through without an IEP.

I can't tell you how many field trips he was not allowed to go on due to something that he did during class such as shooting a rubber band. I don't schedule my work vacations because he gets suspended every year for something.

One year they totally set him up for failure. This is the year that we discovered that his diagnosis was not written correctly in the IEP. What happened was that the kids were in the gym and the teachers were giving instructions. My son threw a paper airplane. The teacher (who was a substitute...and it's a well known fact that we don't do substitutes very well), had my son go for timeout in the PE office.

While in there, my son noticed a cellphone on the desk. He picked it up to look at it. Right then, the door opened. He didn't know what to do so his reaction was to hide the phone. He put it in his pocket thinking that the teacher would leave again and he would put it back on the desk. (We have extra cell phones around the house so it wasn't like he needed one himself.) The teacher didn't leave again so he didn't have the opportunity to put it back. Later the phone was reported as missing. They called the number and it went off in my sons pocket while he was walking down the hall. He was suspended for 5 days out of school. I went as high as the superintendent because this suspension was not fair and equitable. The superintendent said that this was not a symptom of a math or learning disability. What?

This was the needle that broke the camels back. We called in the big dog (our special education advocate). We got a written diagnosis once again. We went through the IEP with a fine tooth comb and added everything we could possibly think that he may need. We had them do all the re-evaluation tests, etc...

We were on a mission. Not only for my son, but for every other Tim out there that was barely out of their moms stomach and had a long adhd road ahead of them.

Once we got out of that elementary school, I guarantee that every other mom that came along after me was a delight for the teachers to deal with. Nobody could have been as tough as me. I taught them "Disability Awareness 101".

Now we are in middle school. We are still picking the IEP apart (I just did that this very morning and emailed the teachers the things that needed to be adjusted.) They actually thanked me for bringing these things to their attention.

It is getting better, not easier, just better. He just got suspended last week. 2 days in school suspension.

It's going to be a long road ahead of us. Only 6 years and 23 more days until WE graduate. I hope they spell my name correctly on his diploma.

Its times like these that I remind myself that this too shall pass. It doesn't help but having something to repeat over and over again in my head so I can sleep at night does help a little.

I am getting sleepy..."Only 6 years and 23 more days until WE graduate. This too shall pass. Only 6 years and 23 more days until WE graduate. This too shall pass. Only 6 years and 23 more days until WE graduate. This too shall pass. Only 6 years and 23 more days until WE graduate. This too shall pass. There's no place like home....." ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

May I ask specifically what would have helped to include him in activities? We have a couple of kids in our home schooling co-op (they're almost 7) who are loveable and creative, and really really really hyperactive. So disruptive that some parents won't go to a function if they know the twins will be there.

My friend and I are doing a play with them as part of our creative writing workshop. I did some creative movement with them to get ready to play their parts and they went wild taking the other boys with them. WHOA! I love their energy and creativity, but it got away from me. I wanted to structure it a bit more...move, stop, move, stop, move, stop. That way they aren't too long in one position. Do you have any thoughts on this?

The reason I stuck this here is because it's excluding others participation. If we don't nip it in the bud now it may come to them being excluded from activities at the request of the mom in charge. So I'd like to know what works for you, and what you think would have worked for your son in school.

If this needs to be a seperate thread than I bow to you oh wise moderator(s).

I think you picked the perfect place but I would see if someone can add a title to your thread to show that its related but slightly off topic if that makes sense.

I've always considered Dakota extremely hyper; but, I've begun to realize that the title Moderatly Hyper better suits him. When he was younger we realized that he had a great love for the theatre and had an ability to memorize lines like no other kid in his class. His teacher's started giving him large roles with a massive amount of dialogue and encouraged gesturing while speaking. This way his mind was challenged and always focused on his next line and his body got the movement it so craved. This won't work for everyone of course but its an idea.

One of Koda's teachers also found that all the kids did a lot better during rehearsal (I know its spelled wrong but I can't get it to look right sorry) by starting each one with a small excercise class sit ups, push ups, running in place, etc to help get the fidgeties out as she referred to them.

As a coach I play each child two quarters whether we win or lose, lets face it this is not the Olympics its pee wee soccer. But, inclusion with arts and play is so hard and you've taken on a mighty task I really admire that in you Chel its not something I would even want to undertake for pay let alone volunteer to do.

Hugs,
Cherity

If I knew then, what I know now, I may have had some great suggestions as to what may (or may not) have worked with my son when he was younger so that he would be included in group activities.

A little history:

When he was in preschool, we went the homepathic route first for treating his adhd symptoms. This worked until the remedy wore off. Then we had to hurry and run to the doctor and get another remedy and then wait for it to kick in. I am not knocking homepathic remedies. I definitely believe in the "like cures like" theory. How we get the flu bug injected in us when we get a flu shot in order to combat the flu bug. The same goes for sugar and mountain dew with my son. If a "so called normal" kid had too much sugar or mountain dew, they would be climbing the walls. Not with my son. It had the homepathic type of effect with him and brought him down to "normal".

Anyway, during our preschool days (which were HORRIBLE), I was very busy learning what ADHD was, reading all about treatments available, looking into local foster families (just joking, but it was really a horrible time for the whole family.) We were not able to take him anywhere. We were banned to drive thru restaurants and our own back yard. Carnivals were wayyyyyyyyyyy too much stimulation for him, so you know Disneyland or anything like that was totally out. I wasn't really in the midset then to suggest alternatives to what may work with him. I was too busy trying to figure out who was going to babysit him when he was kicked out of yet another daycare.

I have read a few posts about parents that keep their adhd kids busy with sports or karate classes,etc... That was not even an option for us. We tried soccer, tball, etc but he did not like taking turns, sharing, waiting, or listening to instructions.

From Kindergarten through 4th grade or so, we tried different meds. Ritalin, then Dexedrine, then Ritalin again, now on Metadate. Eventually we added Respiral, Zoloft and Clonidine for his OCD/Mood disorder.

It had been an up hill battle.

He's now 12. What does he enjoy now that perhaps may have been done when he was younger?

He loves to draw cars, motorcycles, and trucks. My mom is an artist and cartoonist. She has gotten him several drawing books. The ones that have the piece of paper that you can put over the drawing and trace it. He has always loved this. We always tell his teachers at his IEP that he loves to draw cars, motorcycles and trucks.

He likes to make abstract pieces of stuff. His latest was during his spring break. He found a piece of wood. I plugged in my glue gun and he went to town. He glued some of the most interesting things on his wood. Cars, baseball cards, nails, batteries (?), a chain necklace, you name it, he glued it on. It turned out super cool and he gave it to my parents, who display it proudly.

ADHD kids love for you to praise their creations. Make a major big deal about what they did. They are constantly being ridiculed for messing up at home and at school. When my son makes something cool, we show everybody. When he gets a good grade, we call everybody. He gets so proud that he finally did something that he didn't get in trouble for.

I think that if they would have had my son be a helper during the school play or graduation practice, he would have thrived. He is a born leader. (like most adhd'ers). If they would have had him show others where to stand or what to do, he would have liked this. He is not much on learning lines or listening to others practice their lines. That would be way too boring (for me also.)

If they would have had him be part of making the scenary, he would have gotten into this also. He loves making and building stuff. Perhaps you can have the adhd twins make the scenary. Give them a big white sheet of paper and let them create whatever they want. It will keep them busy and out of your hair while the others can practice.

My son never liked to read. I was always able to lay down in bed with my daughter and read forever (until I fell asleep, which usually always happened) but I was never able to do this with my son. When he finally got a little bit into reading, he got books on cars and motorcyles. At school, even though he is labeled learning disabled in reading, he is one of the best readers in his group. In order to make him excel, they have him help the kids that don't read as well as he does. He loves to be able to help others. This makes him feel great. Maybe tell the twins that they are good at "whatever" and that the other kids need some help at it.

Legos are always good for kids. (They are a mess at home but at school, I'm all for it.)

ADHD kids can't be expected to do things that their little bodies don't let them do. Standing quietly in church, hands together, pointed toward the sky, with angel wings on? That is not my son's idea of fun.

OK..I'm done rambling. I am just so glad we are over those years from 3-11. 12 hasn't been that bad. It can only get better.

These are great ideas, thanks so much. Their mom has quite a challenge. I only face them once a week. She disciplines, she's actually firm but fair...hers just take longer to "get it". Mine is inattentive, not hyperactive, and frankly, when I see her kids I think "I've got it easy."

Just so you know, I have a memory (forever) of my son's preschool teacher calling me and asking me to come pick him up early because he was throwing chairs--After several rounds of sugar and food-coloring laden halloween cookies and punch. sigh This was followed by a kindergarten teacher (who should have retired 10 years earlier) who (among other restrictions) wouldn't let him use glue because he made a mess--he had to use paste in a jar lid. She retired at the end of that school year. It has gotten better though--and he is the same age as your son (Tim?), just finishing 6th grade.

It's a small world, isn't it. (Rather "It's a small add/adhd world".)

Are you sure your son's kindergarten teacher really retired and didn't actually come teach at my son's school instead? She sounds like the same teacher. :(

I remember one day my sister went to pick up my son from school and the teacher came outside and told her that SHE had to come back inside and clean off my sons desk because he too had made a mess on it. She, being an adhd'er (in denial) with quite an "attitude", told the teacher what she could do with the desk. :)

You seem to have had the same 12 years of experiences. I guess you also have a door imprint on your butt. Welcome to the "Don't let the door hit you in the butt when you leave" club. :)

I wish I had had more "presence of mind" at the time, but like you this whole adventure has been just one learning experience after another. God Bless you for all your effort and perseverance--it would be very easy to wash you hands of it all once the year was over, but you have made a difference for other kids. We have been lucky with the teachers and schools (we move around) even here in our tiny OK town we've had good response and at least sympathy from teachers and administrators--even if they don't totally "get it". He moves to Jr Hi this year (long story--6th grade was middle school, but the district is re-aligning) and he has NO organizational ability. If he didn't have an almost photographic memory we'd be sunk. Math is a nightmare. He's just finishing reading Watership Down (500 pages in a week) because he has to meet his AR points and just never got around to reading anything else all semester. I'm sure you know I could go on, but I won't. THanks for listening to the litany of frustration...

:)

I have had both good and bad experiences with schools and my daughter who is going into 4th grade next year. We have been in 4 schools so far.

I believe I must be part of the club, too.

Let's see, when she was in preschool (before meds) I was met at the door daily with detailed reports of how horrible she was. I finally pulled my little monster out because I couldn't take it anymore.

Then, in Kindergarten after receiving a dx but before meds her teacher actually punished her by taking away recess - the one thing that is truly vital to an ADHD child! So, I pulled her out and homeschooled her because it broke my heart that my very bright child hated school so much that she cried constantly.

On to first grade. That was a great year! She was finally on meds and she'd tested into the gifted program. She had 3 wonderful teachers that year who totally understood her and her needs. I miss those women immensely!! A funny story...I received a call from the school asking if I had forgotten Em's meds and sure enough I had. Well, when I got there Em was in the back of the room, lying across the seat of the chair on her stomach pretending to swim. The reading teacher just said, "Em's having a bit of fun today so I let her have her own space until you got here." This teacher's son has ADHD and she really unserstood what it was like so she tried as hard as she could to be a help instead of a hinderance. This was the same school that put her IEP in place and made certain that they included even what I thought was probably insignificant provisions for her. It was just great.

Then in second grade the real problems began again. She's been in 3 schools since then (we are military and have moved a bit) and has had nothing but problems. It amazes me when I sit down in a room with professionals who profess to know so much but actually know so very little. In this day and age when education is a click away this just shouldn't be. It's frustrating for the child, the parents and in the end the educators, too. It really shouldn't be this way with all of the laws protecting kids like ours. I guess it is up to us the individuals to keep pushing one school at a time.

There is a saying something like: "It didn't break over night so it isn't going to get fixed over night".

As an adhd'er myself, patience is not one of my strong virtues. I want it fixed now. But that isn't going to "always" happen.

It does happen quickly sometimes, like when I call the police chief directly and say I want a "slow children" sign in front of our house so cars slow down and I get one the same day.

Or when I call the city inspector directly and tell them that our new hoosier neighbors are over their occupancy limit and they immediately get a summons to clear out.

(It's good to live a city all your life and have major connections.) :)

What keeps me fighting the long fight for disability awareness is not only my 12 year old son, but the next kid that comes along who doesn't have a relentless adhd mom to fight for him. I am also fighting for the kids I see in line at Walmart with adhd, and for my future grandkids that have a very strong chance of having adhd too.

Whether the disability is adhd, ocd, mood disorders, or learning disabilities (my son has all of those), they need to be treated fair and equitable, whether it's in school or at a summer park program.

When he was 7 or so (I can't remember as I purposely try and forget those horrible years-seriously), I enrolled him in our local park program. On all the paperwork, I put down that he was adhd and needed to take daily medicine while at the park. That wonderful plan only lasted a week. One day they forgot his meds. Another day he was in time out for throwing rocks or sticks at cars. Another day he went running into the pool area and jumped in the deep water and almost drown. I was finally told that they did not have the proper camp counselors for my sons special needs.

So I enrolled him in the YMCA Park Program which ASSURED me that they were able to handle his needs as they also had kids attending that park program with other disabilites.

That did not pan out either. They called me at work constantly saying he did this and that. He was constantly in time out. When they went on a field trip to the zoo, they actually had the nerve to call me at work and tell me to come get him. I could not at the time so when I picked him up from the park, they said he was no longer allowed back.

I pitched a fit and went as high as I could in YMCA. I had taped voice messages from the main counselor constantly calling to complain about my son saying that they were not able to handle him (even though I was assured they could.)

Eventually, I went to a disability lawyer, paid my consultation fee, gave him all the documentation and was told that I could sue them for disability discrimnation but he did not recommend it. The YMCA tried to talk me into coming back saying that they hired a special counselor for my son. Whatever.

After I complained to the head of our local park program, they hired specially trained counselors the following year. Too late.

I didn't send him back to either one but atleast the next adhd kid that came along may hopefully have it better.

It's a long, tiresome battle, but what else am I going to do with all my spare adhd energy :)

Plus I kind of like that little jumpstart when the door hits me in the butt. :)

adhdxyz,

I just wanted to let you know that you have really given me inspiration. I get so tired of battling with THEM that by this point in the year I am just exhausted. Next year I am gonna' hit the school on the first day with my expectations and see it through to the end. I have already done some research and contacted an advocacy group in my state. Thanks again! You're GREAT!!!:D

Plus I kind of like that little jumpstart when the door hits me in the butt.

I can completly agree with this statement. The first initital pain seems to set off a chain reaction in me that leaves me angry, determined and not willing to make silly mistakes. I used to let my initial angry rule the way I responded now I know to use it more constructive ways you get a lot more done with planned thinking then quick reaction.

hi adhdxyz. Just want you to know that our last day of school is on Wednesday and the full moon is soon to be here. So I've been thinking about you and want to say good for you for staying on top of things this school year........your son and daughter are so fortunate to have you as a mom.
Like the others, I always find your posts very inspiring. :)

~gourmet~

Three more days of school for my son and five more for my daughter. I can't wait. I don't even dread the daily phone calls from him saying he's bored. It's better than the calls from the school.

I look forward to hearing you howl at the moon later on today. Me? I will be hiding in my cave until the moon is no longer full. :)

Could we not talk about full moons. This entire week has been a *****.

First we caught Koda and my nephew playing with a lighter behind the garage. We live next to a fire fighter and he volunteered to show the boys some fire prevention tapes they have, they're a little graphic but both boys are at the age where its scare the living day lights out of them or they'll just outsmart us one of these times and catch themselves on fire.

Then Koda decides he wants ice cream and decides to ride his bike 22 miles to the nearest town. Luckily, the nice officer we had to call on him when he didn't show up home at his predetermined time caught him halfway there. We took the tires off his bike for a month we'll see how he feels about walking for 30 days.

Thank goodness there are only 1 1/2 days of school left for our two and they are fun days so they look forward to going.

Not to metion the fact that I have been in the Alzheimer's unit for the past week and its been heck to put it nicely.

adhdxyz.........how did you know that I howl? Who told you? Where did you hear that?




You know, one thing I really like about you ladies is that you are ready for school to be out, like me. I know a lot of people who hate for it to end or can't wait until it begins in the fall.
Good luck with the moon, y'all. :)

OH HAPPY DAYS!!!!! OH HAPPY DAYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SCHOOLS OUT, SCHOOLS OUT, TEACHERS LET THE 6TH GRADERS OUT.

We did it. We survived another year of school. My son made it out of 6th grade.

He has been trying so hard. His dad took off early so he could pick him up on the motorcycle. (We didn't want any "issues" with him walking home on the last day.)

I had hung up crete paper in the living room this morning so when he walked in, he would immediately see it, plus a card. He is so happy he passed. (It wasn't his grades that we worried about, but his behavior.)

In case Nucking Futs, is reading this, I'll have to type extra small in hopes that she will not notice because I said I wouldn't count the years any more until high school graduation. Only 6 years to go. :)

Only 2,195 more days to go until high school graduation!!!!

You can say what you want, how you want, when you want for the next two weeks I will be walking on air!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lexi did it!!!! She was at least two grades behind in math at the start of the year and was reading at kindergarten level even though she read nightly due to her heart stopping and depriving her brain of oxygen in infancy. She did it, she did it, she did it. God a note today saying she tested average in math and ABOVE average in reading!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have one of the smartest kids ever!!!!!!!!!!! I've been crying, laughing, crying, laughing, screaming, calling everyone, telling everyone, having a party wanna come?!!!!!!!!!!! lol

congrats to your son I knew you guys could make it with the right attitudes!!!!!!!!! Take a deep breathe mommy and stop counting until August. lol :D :D

Big hugs and thanks your posts have kept me going for the last two weeks and filling me with hope.

What a great day to die,
Cherity

ps my father used to say this would be a great day to die on really great days, he believed that it would be far better to die on a good day then a bad day so you don't take your bad feelings with you. Not that I'm depressed or wanting to die anytime soon.

Congratulations on your big accomplishment also!!!

Just when you think it can't get any worse due to your son Koda and his lighter incident and then his attempting to bike his way to the next state incident, something wonderful happens with Lexi. It makes it all even out, doesn't it?

They say you won't know when you have it good until you've had it bad.

Amen to that!!!!

Today, is one of those bad days. Can I start counting days till school starts again? lol
If I yell keep your hands to yourself or stop screaming one more time or leave the dog outside I'm gonna lose it. The good news is I work tonight so I get a break at least.

I, too, am rejoicing over the school year coming to an end!!!!!!!!! While none of my children had any spectacular accomplishments this year, I am proud of them all for working hard & putting up with a bunch of very small-minded people. And, of course, I am thrilled that there will be no phone calls, no conferences, no nasty-grams, and no early morning alarms for the next 3 months! HALLELUIAH & WAHHHHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!:D

"Hey all you parents of add/adhd kids. I can only hear a few of you hooting and hollering that school is finally out. I know there are thousands more of you out there! Are you still melting from the past school year? Do your kids go another week? Are they in a year round school? Come on. Yell for joy. Scream your head off in happiness!"

Like sgolden5374 did, give me a:
"HALLELUIAH & WAHHHHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

OK.....I hate to say this but it's only been a little over a month since school started....only 8 more months to go until summer vacation. :)

Today starts Christmas break from school. Hooray.

Plus I received a very special Christmas present from my son's school today.

It was a note to all the parents letting us know that the Assistant Principal (aka "the Weasel") was leaving to go to a different middle school in the district. They said it was a career opportunity for both he and the new asst principal that is coming. I don't care if it is a career opportunity or a demotion. All I know is that THE WEASEL IS LEAVING!!!! (and I finally got him to stay in his cage and not bother me after 1 1/2 years of middle school).

I sure hope the new asst principal has been warned that I mean business and I won't take a detention sitting down. (I am, after all, an adhd mom, ya know.) :)

Tomorrow is our first day back from Christmas break. Wish me luck with our new assistant principal. I sure hope they are knowledgeable with adhd, ocd and mood disorders. Otherwise it's going to be a long 2006 teaching them ADHD 101.

I was a little weary because I hadn't gotten a call from the new assistant principal yet and it was already the end of January and she started at the beginning of January. :)

Well, yesterday (Friday) she called. It wasn't that painful though (atleast for me). :)

She sounded nice and a little older than I would have imagined. She said that my son (who's 12, in 7th grade, and has a diagnosis of adhd, ocd, mood disorder) had been sent to her office on Thursday for getting in trouble in class.

She didn't have all the details but he would have to serve an afterschool detention one day next week.

Wait. Stop the Press. Hadn't she heard the news? Please don't call me unless you have all the details and then some! I am a Senior Quality Assurance Analyst. I analyze everything!!!!

She said that my son as in the classroom and...

STOP RIGHT THERE. What class? What time was the class? Who was the teacher? Was the class before or after lunch when he gets his medicine? Did he get his medicine on time that day?

OK....continue.....

He was throwing magnets on the chalkboard.

STOP. WAIT A MINUTE. I don't recall him taking a class entitled "MAGNET THROWING". Is that a new PE class?

She said he was throwing magnets against the chalkboard and another kid came in and started doing it too and my son got mad because he had the magnets. A few choice words were exchanged and my son did a fake punch in the air toward the kid and was sent to the office.

Hmm....

It occurred in his special education class. The class that only has 7 kids in it and also the class that he got in trouble in two days earlier for having a pencil fight with another kid in the special ed class. Both kids were sent to the office for play stabbing each other with pencils but neither were suspended or had to do detention.

I asked her where the teacher was on both of these occurrences? There's only 7 kids. How are incidents allowed to escalate when there's only 7 fricking kids?

The new assistant principal was very nice and said she'd check into his medicine time for those days. She'd check and see where the teacher was during both incidents. She'll check and see what time the incidents occurred to see if possibly his dosage time needs to be adjusted. She'll also check and see what time detention is to and from because I told her he takes another dose of medication when he gets home from school so I will have to see if the nurse is able to give him a dose after school in order for him to serve detention.

I wonder if she got the hint as to not calling me unless she had all the details. She'll just be wasting her quarter and will have to call me back anyway. :)

OK. The school year has been going way too smoothly and I felt like I was in the eye of the tornado just waiting for something to happen.

The assistant principal called me yesterday (Friday) at work to tell me that my son (who just turned 13) has an in school suspension on Monday for hitting a fellow student with a basketball in the face. Hmmm???? What class do they throw basketballs at each other in?

Turns out he was in PE class and they were all playing basketball. (Keep in mind that there are two male teachers in this class.)

There was a boy sitting on the bleachers not dressed out for PE because his hand was hurt and he was sleeping.

My son took it upon himself to wake the kid up by throwing a basketball at him. (Where are the 2 teachers?) Anyway, he missed the kid so he threw it again. This time, hitting the kid in the face. The kid came storming out of the bleachers and started kicking and hitting my son.

Both the teachers suddenly appeared (after the fact) and had both boys go to the principals office.

They both have an in school suspension on Monday. Plus my son has to go to the principals office on Tues and Weds also during PE class to write an essay on safety in the class.

My son knows he shouldnt have done that and the kid he hit shouldnt have retaliated BUT the teachers let it all happen.

Oh well..it could be worse. Did I mention the full moon during the week?

adhdxyz, WOW, thank you so much for writing this thread and adding to it from time to time. We believe my 8 year old granddaughter has ADD and have been wondering how much of a big deal to make of it with the school. Last year was tough (1st grade), she really liked her teacher but didn't do all that well.

This year she is doing much better, apparently the teacher has a different style of teaching. I know when I dropped off cupcakes for her birthday in mid-February they were doing something where all the kids were standing and moving around while the teacher worked with them. What will next year be like? Will she have another teacher whose style works for ADD children, or will she be expected to sit still and stay focused?

You've given me a lot to think about in dealing with the school and the teachers and the principal. Thank you so much for sharing your son's experiences in school - and your experiences with it all.

I need to earmark this thread for my daughter to read. She's not good at all with being confrontational and getting what needs to be done, I'll either have to do it myself or push her to do it... if it ever comes to needing something done. I did pretty well in school (expect for a 3rd grade teacher who had no patience with fidgetty kids who couldn't focus) until I got to junior high and instead of staying in one room with one teacher - I had to switch gears all the time, moving from class to class and adjusting to different teachers each time. I can see the same thing happening with my granddaughter, although nowadays they do some of that moving around and having different teachers much more than we did when I was in grade school, what with music class and phys ed and library word and a couple of other things I'm not too sure about.

One thing I highly suggest to all parents of kids with adhd/add is to let them "start over" each and every day. We "start over" several times a day sometimes.

It's kind of like when you are on a diet and mess up early in the day by eatting something that wasn't on your plan. Rather than considering the entire day ruined and pig out, it's better to "start over" immediately after you mess up.

I constantly tell my son that nobody is perfect and we don't expect him to be perfect. If he were perfect, he'd be GOD. :)

Only 5 years and 2 1/2 months to go until he graduates!!! Mark my words...I AM WALKING DOWN THE AISLE WITH HIM WHEN HE GRADUATES. Everybody will know which one I am by the door imprints on my butt. :)

That's such a great outlook. Yeah, I don't want my granddaughter to think she has to meet such an unattainable standard. I beat myself up for way too many years trying to reconcile that standard of perfection with my own imperfect abilities.

adhdxyz - I can't read all the comments here, but I read your first post and I want to say that he sounds like my oldest when he was little. He was TERRIBLE. And he'd hit me and behave just beastly. I couldn't take him anywhere.
One day my mom and sister asked me to go shopping with them. I said I couldn't go because I'd have to take my son. They talked me into going anyway, saying together we could all handle him.
Boy were they wrong.
He threw such horrible fits in the stores from his stroller, trying to grab things off the shelves and break them.
I took him out to the car and, crying, I said he had to stop acting that way or I was afraid I might lose it and hit him, and I really didn't want to do that.
I knew something was wrong inside him.
I took him from doctor to doctor, they all said nothing was wrong with him, but I KNEW. It was as if he was having an internal battle with himself. He even said to me once, "I don't want to act this way mama. When I am I'm trying to tell myself to stop". He was sooo sweet when he wasn't being terrible.
I got pregnant with my second child. I took my son with me to my doctor for my checkup. He threw a horrible fit and was hitting me. I started crying, at a loss for what was happening and why I couldn't control it. I asked the nurse (whom I'd never met before) for help in finding out what was wrong with him.
She said I was just a bad mother.

I continued taking him to doctors. They'd get downright mad at me for trying to get a diagnosis.
Finally I landed upon a doctor that LISTENED and he set up an appointment for my son with an allergy clinic.
When I first went in there and started filling out the questionaire, "Does he do X? Does he act like X?" IT WAS HIM! All the problems I had with him were right there on that form!
He had allergies. He was having an internal battle, he was "itching" on the inside in a way.
When he was tested he was allergic to everything, and the doc said he'd everntually even be allergic to himself (boy in the plastic bubble). He's 18 now and has learned to control his behavior pretty well, and he's on meds.

In that waiting room, you should have seen the kids, they were all acting like my son.
Now when I see a mother at her wits end with a child who is constantly having fits of rage, I tell her about allergies - how the reaction can be hidden physically.

When you described your son running around tearing down the decorations on Halloween, it sounded just like my son.

Maybe getting him tested for allergies?
It saved my life - and my sons! :p

It's definitely worth a try. I always said that if I had to eat dog poop every day for the rest of my life in order to help him, I would. :)

He's on Spring Break next week. I'm going to call his regular pediatrician tomorrow to see about getting a referral for an allergy specialist. When we went the Homeopathic/Holistic route prior to starting conventional meds in preschool/Kindergarten, they never mentioned allergies, but who knows. It could be a little of everything.

Thanks for the reminder to check into that.

Sure.
Like I said, I had to go through doc after doc before I finally found one that thought of allergies. I never would have thought of it either. I just knew SOMETHING was wrong.
Your son may not have allergies at all, or if he does it may only be a piece of the puzzle.
It sure made a difference in my and my son's life though, so I had to tell you.

I am so sorry that you have had such problems. I live in a very small town and MOST of my sons teachers have been wonderful, with the exception of the fact that all teachers take away recess as a first line of punishment, and yes that is the worst thing you can do to an adhd child.

I did have one teacher this year, however who was horrible to him. Right before he was officially diagnosed, but AFTER the school psychologist had observed him, and recommended a doctor visit for diagnoses, this particular teacher told him in front of a group of peers that "You are not allowed to go to E.D.G.E. class ( a class for gifted students where they get to do fun, educational stuff on computers) until it snows in July!!" Now my son is smart, he knows that A) its never gonna snow in July, and B)he is no longer in school in July. He was in the midst of his most forgetful, unorganized time just before he started his meds, so I told him to try to do better for a few weeks and then ask the teacher to be readmitted to the E.D.G.E. class, she was just frustrated with him and would most likely come around, yadda yadda.

So, 5 weeks go by, he gets a MUCH improved grade card, raised 3 classes(one of them hers- - they switch classes in 4th grade in our school just like middle school) a full letter grade and so he hopefully goes to the teacher and asks her if he can begin going to the class again..and this witch says "Has it snowed in July yet?" in a snotty voice according to his tearful retelling to me that afternoon when he got off the bus.

I called the principal the next day and told him about it and he tells me that Chase tested into this program and the reading teacher has no right to pull him, but that he will discuss it with her. The principal tells me the next day that the teacher relates to him that "She was waiting to see if the positive changes in Chase were real, and that she planned to let him go back after Easter break". I informed him that she should have had the respect for my child to say that to HIM when he asked about returning, not just backpedal when her boss asks her the same question. How different the scene when he got off the bus would have been- - "Mom! Mrs. Jones says I can go back to E.D.G.E. if I keep up the good work!"

I think some of these teachers don't even like children and should not be there shaping their minds. If they dislike their jobs, get a new one, don't take it out on our children.

Wow, they must clone teachers! We went through @#$% until third grade. We couldn't get an IEP, or a decent 504 plan in place and were always being suspended. In third grade we got an IEP in the other catigory, but it still wasn't great, we moved to another school who would not use this IEP. Finally after my son threw a chair at the principal we were able to get him classified under Emotionally disturbed which gave us alot more supportive things we could use. During my sons 4th grade year I found a class through CHADD that went through EVERYTHING. It had parenting issues, laws about IEP's, district policy, Homework help, almost everything, and it helped us meet other parents going through the same things. The summer before 5th grade we moved from Utah to Idaho. I went to register my son, and brought a copy of his IEP. The principal tried telling me that Idaho does not belive in behavioral support in IEP's. Boy did he just tick off the wrong mom. I left a message with the supperintendants office. After a few days and still not hearing from them I went to the Idaho school board, and lodged a complaint. The next day I heard from the school distrct with appoligies. Since I am in a small school district with only 1 highschool, 1 middle school, and 5 small elementry schools, I knew we would have to work with them, and did. We decided that since my son was born 1 day past the deadline that we would put him in the middle school class. (Middle school starts in 6th grade) It opened the door for other children with the same issues who were in 5th grade to go to the same program. Plus they decided to open a program for 4, and 5th grades starting next year. This has been a challenge, but one of the most rewarding challenges in my life. I have 2 children with ADHD that really need extra support in school. I have learned how to manhandle the bigest meanest teachers, and principals, I have learned not to plan the details of life that little suprises are what makes life fun. My kids add more addventure to my life then I could have ever imagined. For me I have stayed a homemaker for all of these years, because like so many of you no daycare would touch my children for very long.
I hope everyone has as much fun with their kids as I do despite all of the horor of having to fight for their childs rights day in and day out. If you need inspiration just look at all of the successful adders that are adults on this forum, and remeber childhood ends way to quickly, almost in the blink of an eye when you look back.
Have a wonderful day,
Jme

I received the best Mother's Day Present from my son's special ed teacher. It was the following email:

"I wanted to let you know that Tim has had a great week. He has really been putting forth all of his effort in his classes and being responsible for his actions. Tim had a challenging day this week with another student and he handled the situation very well. I have talked with Ms H and she agrees that Tim has made so many improvements this year. She as well as myself are so proud of him, his ability to stay focused and to really take what we say to heart. I hope you have a great weekend! Ms S"
WOW! I couldn't believe it. Prayers do work. (Only 5 years and 2 weeks left til he graduates.)

That's great news! I'm happy for you!:)