View Full Version : 5 y/o with ADHD being pushed back to pre-k


KsMomOf2
10-02-15, 03:50 PM
I have never posted online about anything before, so I apologize now if this is all over the place or not done correctly. Please let me know if I need to adjust anything.

My daughter has Epilepsy, is on medication for this and just started Kindergarten in August. She has an AMAZING personality! She isn't scared to talk to anyone, and everyone is her "Best Friend." The checkers and door greeters at every store we go to know who our daughter is. I love that she is so outgoing! She is the youngest in her class and just turned 5 in July. At the end of her year in Pre-k, her teacher mentioned to us that she wasn't sure that she was ready for Kindergarten. She told us that she couldn't sit still in class, was often found hiding under the teachers desk during circle time, was unable to follow instructions, couldn't stand in line, was blurting out answers, and overall was just kind out of control.

This was her first year in any type of classroom setting. She previously had been staying with family members while my husband and I would work due to our fears of the seriousness of her seizures when she does have them. We assumed part of the issues she was having was because she had never had to stand in a line before, or sit still for an extended period time. I also was concerned that it was her Epilepsy meds were making her hyperactive.

We scheduled an appointment with her neurologist to discuss this and have her regular evaluation. After explaining the situation to her, and asking her about the meds, she said that her meds should actually be making her tired, not the opposite. If she was still out of control and bouncing off of walls, there was something more going on. She said that after watching my daughter, and hearing what was going on, that she felt she most likely had adhd. She explained how common it was for children who have Epilepsy to also have adhd.

I love my husband and he is an AMAZING father, but he really shuts down when it comes to anything that could be wrong with his baby girl. He doesn't want to believe in any of this, so I am advocating alone a lot of the time whether it is for issues with her Epilepsy, or now the issues we are having with the school she is in. With that being said, we wanted to give her an extra few months to see how she changed and grew up with as young as she was before we went for a diagnosis.

My daughter started Kindergarten in Mid-August. I contacted the teacher before school started to let the teacher know about her Epilepsy and discuss with her the possibility that she may have adhd. I told her what we have been told, and asked that if she saw our daughter having any problems like last year, to please let us know so we can work with her, and to please try any tools or ideas that she might have for a child with adhd to help them better concentrate in school. I was met with a reaction and attitude that I wasn't expecting. She cut me off and said "I haven't even had her in class yet, I can't tell you if she has adhd or not." I explained that I wasn't asking her for a diagnosis, but that I was just really hoping that they could work with her on different things in different ways if she does start so show signs while in their care. She just rushed me off the phone as if I hadn't tried to contact her and that it wasn't important.

Four weeks later, we assumed that our daughter was actually doing well in school. Her teacher uses a color card system ( green, yellow, orange, red, purple, and the blue) for behavior. In the 4 weeks, she had a green card all days except for 4, and on the days it wasn't green, the color had only been orange at it's worst. My husband and I were giving each other high fives daily! The school work coming home wasn't perfect by any means but was a HUGE improvement from last year. She couldn't even cut a piece of paper in a straight line last year and now she was cutting out Moons, Stars, Cats, and Owls with multiple pieces. We were so proud and telling everyone we knew how well she had been doing.

Then..... progress reports came out. We received a progress report for her and on it the teacher stated that her behavior in class was unacceptable, that her knowledge of the alphabet was unacceptable, as well as her numbers, her ability to pay attention or do anything that was expected of her. On the progress report, the teacher had written a note that said that we needed to have a conference with her and the principal and she needed to hear from us asap! The teacher had also sent a photo copy of the test that they had given our daughter to determine her "Grades" for the progress report. It had 26 capital letters, and 26 lower case letters in random order. She stated that our daughter only knew 12 total letters out of 52. I knew that wasn't all our daughter knew. I sat down with the exact same sheet with her and in a quiet setting, she 45/52 letters right!

I went to the school in the morning and told the teacher we would be there during her first planning period. I already knew what they were going to say, but I was excited to at least show her that knows so much more than she is actually showing them. We got in the meeting and her teacher had obviously been saving a few only her worst assignments to show the principal and us, to get her kicked out of Kindergarten, because of the 5 worksheets + a day that she was bringing home, none of them looked as bad as these. She immediately said that our daughter was not mature enough for Kindergarten yet, and that she needed to go back to pre-k. I asked her if she had tried anything for children with adhd with her and she had not! She couldn't even come up with one idea for her! My husband and I had decided we were not moving her back until her teachers had tried some ideas to increase her ability to pay attention first. I showed her the paper with the upper and lower case letters and said she was able to show us them at home and she said that it did not matter. If she couldn't show her in school then she wasn't learning them????? What?? When we left the meeting the teacher told us to get her a diagnosis, like we were making this all up. We were told by both the teacher and the principal that they were going to find a sit disc for her.

That day I decided that in order for our daughter to get what she needs, we would have to get the diagnosis. We had her teachers from this year and last year fill out the evaluations and had her appt on Wednesday of this week. She now has an adhd diagnosis. She also has sensory disorder problems as well. I met with the principal after the appt and found out that they still had not found my daughter a sit disc(2 weeks later) after I had come in one other time and reminded them the week before and was assured they were going to find one, that they had several in the school they just needed to find them. She had a box of them in her office! No one felt it was important enough, but it was important enough to tell us to send her back to prek.

Then, yesterday I went to another meeting with her teacher to get an update on how her last two weeks have gone since we met last. I left the meeting feeling defeated. I told her we have the diagnosis, and would be starting therapy next week. The first thing she says is "what meds are you putting her on." I explained that we weren't doing that right away, and that we wanted to try(us and the psychologist) behavior modification first, that it is very scary thinking of changing anything with her meds due to her Epilepsy. Then, I was once again met with "SHE CAN"T DO THIS!!" She shouldn't be in this class. We are frustrated with trying to help her. and so on. I feel as though they have already made their mind up about our daughter and they are not going to be willing to try anything for her!

I feel so lost as to what to do next. I know that starting therapy is a major part of helping our daughter, but the school has almost put her and us on a time frame per say. I don't want her miserable in school, but she knows more than they think. A LOT more! I don't want to send her back to prek yet because I feel that if we can help her with the adhd symptoms, she will show them also what she knows and can do. I love my children with all my heart and will fight for them til I die. I don't know what the right decisions her are, especially when this teacher is so unwilling to give her chance. I don't want her to be miserable(at this point she is still loving going to school), and I do understand it can be difficult for a teacher, but how do you not put out effort. The teacher literally made her work on one worksheet for an ENTIRE day at school since she was having difficulty finishing it. How awful must that have been for her.

I am not sure what I am looking for here. I would love any advice you may have. I know I am not a perfect parent, and I will and have made mistakes, but I want to do everything I can to make any of this easier on her. Thank you for taking the time to read and any advice you may have..

Lunacie
10-02-15, 06:06 PM
Hello and welcome to the forum.

Yes, it's very scary mixing meds for different things. My granddaughter has
autism and diabetes and we really depend on her psychiatrist to make sure
the meds won't conflict with each other.

We had a very difficult time with our local school, both with the one with
autism and her big sister who has adhd. Big sister finally was able to transfer
to online school as a junior, she's a senior this year. The younger one was
sent to the school for kids with behavior problems ... her behavior was mostly
caused by the bad teachers she had. She's now in a different school, in a
classroom with other kids with autism and the best teacher in the world ...
or at least in our county. And is even doing some inclusion classes. Yay!


You need some support, someone to help you advocate for your daughter
with the school. I don't know what's available in Topeka, in Wichita we have
Families Together. (http://www.familiestogetherinc.org/)

Just did a web search and they have an office in Topeka. If they can't help
you, they can probably suggest other resources.

For online info you can't beat www.wrightslaw.com.