My almost 6 year old continues to struggle with finding his words. He screams like he's bleeding when he's frustrated. He has trouble understanding explanations and trouble explaining himself. He doesn't "get it".

I have tried time outs. I remind him to use his words. I tell him if he has trouble using his words to come to mommy and I'll help him. I so identify with him. I was a frustrated kid, I felt misunderstood. I have no idea how to get him through this with his self-esteem intact.

He wasn't always like this. He was a calm, easy-going baby. My oldest was the screamer and he has since calmed down. My youngest was needy for health reasons but blessed with plenty of attention (for a third child). The youngest is 4 1/2 and can use his words better than my 6 yr old. My middle guy is being left behind. He does know he is very very loved. He thrives on physical touch, snuggles, head rubs and back scratches. It's very comforting to him. But social situations...he is as awkward as I was.

His big brother doesn't help. The oldest will play with him plenty, but as soon as an older friend comes over his little brother is out of the loop.

I have no idea how to get through this. Is it enough that he is loved? Does it cover a multitude of sins...and awkwardness? Should I rescue him? What kind of coping skills can I teach him? I try to take each situation as it comes and work through it, but it's so frequent and I just don't feel like I'm getting through to him.

1.) Try and expression chart. It has faces for certain feelings, grimace for pain, mad face, smiley face for happy. That way when he can't immediatly get his feelings across to you he can at least show you "Momma I'm sad".

2.) We enrolled Lexi in a reading group at the library. All the kids enrolled were slow readers or had trouble talking, finding the right words, etc. It was started by a parent but had a huge turn out. The kids felt comfortable reading out loud to each other because they all had problems and they had a lot of fun talking about what they read after story time. The woman who started it was just your ordinary housewife who wanted to find a fun way for her son to increase his meager vocabulary.

3.) We taught Lexi to count to ten when she couldn't find the right word and see if it came to her after counting, if not could she show us, etc.

4.) I felt that her vocabulary did most its growing when she started going to daycare after school. She was the oldest child and all the other kids looked up to her and she felt comfortable speaking with them because they mixed up their words too or didn't know the right word. Basically, in teaching these kids she was teaching herself without all the embarrassement.

5.) Ever thought of paying your eldest to hang with his brother? I know it sounds awful but it sounds like the youngest has a little case of idol worship. I pay Koda $1 an hour to spend with Garrett because Garrett adores his big brother.

6.) Both my older kids have a Big brother or Big sister who can give them the one on one I can't because of work, house, other kids. They visit for about an hour a week but they love it.

Lexi had a lot of trouble with her vocabulary if she knew the words, then she would mix them up for instance she put the air conditioner in her hair and turned the hair conditioner on in the summer. Simple things but when kids her age laughed at her it was devastating. Things I thought about using were computer games, flashcards with pictures, anything!!! She still has some problems but has learned to quickly cover up her mistake and make a joke of it which in its own right is still very sad.

Big hugs, your in my thoughts,
Cherity

I am struggling to follow this thread can you revrase it or something.

My almost 6 year old continues to struggle with finding his words. He screams like he's bleeding when he's frustrated. He has trouble understanding explanations and trouble explaining himself.

I can't put it simpler than that, sorry.

Thanks for the ideas Futz.
A friend of mine suggested that he's happy to be a cooperative person and follow along with the crowd, but when he feels it's his turn, when he's just had enough of compromising, he bursts. He's had enough and no more.

His big brother (my 8 yr old) does read to him and play willingly. He just blows off his little brother when an older friend comes. That quite naturally frustrates the 6yo, he feels excluded because he is being excluded and its hurting his feelings. But instead of talking through it he screams in agony. I'm surprised the police haven't shown up asking if there's been a murder.

I get that there's sibling stuff going on here, regardless of the ADD, but what bothers me is the reaction is so extreme. It's beyond a tantrum, it's more than that. He's not being a brat, he really doesn't know what to do with his hurt feelings. He stopped hitting, which is progress.

You mean he uses swear words or he doesn't use any words he just screams and has a tantrum.

No swearing. Just loses it, overeacts, screams...an exaggerated tantrum over frustrating, but not painful, situations.

I keep swinging between "something's wrong" and "he's having a tantrum and needs to learn to control things", if the latter that will take some time. Overemotional, or over reactions to things is yet another ADD symptom. Can't change the ADD, but I can help him learn what to do with those extreme emotions...once I learn how to do it for myself.