View Full Version : Adderall arrogance


iFailed
10-21-15, 06:02 PM
I have been taking meds for about two months now and I've had to take multiple drug holidays because of weight loss. Now I'm totally conflicted, though, because the stuff doesn't help me with my schoolwork at all. In fact, since school started in August, when I enrolled in 6 hours of go-at-your-own-pace classes, I haven't done any schoolwork whatsoever and I even dropped a class.

Why? Because I've been working on my dream project, learning how to cook, doing "scientific" reasoning for choices in my life such as faith, improving relationships with my family and planning for the future, and a bunch of other things that I can use as an excuse to avoid school because those things are "more important" than school.

But I'm straight up broke to continue going to class and I can't get any jobs that aren't below me. I worked in the past for a long time in fast food and as a wal-mart cashier, both of which were like hell on earth. My counselor thought it was ADD, but I know that it was because I just hated doing what I considered work. I cannot feel satisfied unless I have total freedom to do what I think is the most important thing to be doing. I can justify pretty much anything as necessary for the "big picture" even while I ignore schoolwork and do nothing to look for employment. I'm going to be able to get my dream job as a lab attendant next semester where I can teach other people how to use computers for various tasks, something that I absolutely love doing, telling other people how to do things/what to think, but it requires that I submit my enrollment information.

The big problem, I think, is that it's not just me. Who can argue that the stuff that I'm doing isn't more important than schoolwork? Nobody tells me that it's not just some elaborate scheme to continue my unresolved academephobia. For the first time in my life, I have a half-legitimate excuse for blowing my parent's dwindling savings on dropping class after class.

People can tell me what I should be doing, and when I'm on drug holiday I feel awful and I can hardly sleep at night under the stress. When I'm on meds, I feel like an omniscient being that knows that the path to success is to temporarily screw over my parents while I get all of the pieces to my master plan in place, and I won't listen to any opinions that what I'm doing is wrong.

sarahsweets
10-22-15, 03:04 AM
Have you ever considered the fact that maybe school just isnt your thing? Its not for everyone. And when you say you dont want a job below you, what do you mean? If you are broke you may need to do it. And I understand that you need enrollment verification for that job, but is that job worth blowing a way money for stuff you dont want to learn anyway?

Daydreamin22
10-22-15, 03:46 AM
I have been taking meds for about two months now and I've had to take multiple drug holidays because of weight loss. Now I'm totally conflicted, though, because the stuff doesn't help me with my schoolwork at all. In fact, since school started in August, when I enrolled in 6 hours of go-at-your-own-pace classes, I haven't done any schoolwork whatsoever and I even dropped a class.

Why? Because I've been working on my dream project, learning how to cook, doing "scientific" reasoning for choices in my life such as faith, improving relationships with my family and planning for the future, and a bunch of other things that I can use as an excuse to avoid school because those things are "more important" than school.

But I'm straight up broke to continue going to class and I can't get any jobs that aren't below me. I worked in the past for a long time in fast food and as a wal-mart cashier, both of which were like hell on earth. My counselor thought it was ADD, but I know that it was because I just hated doing what I considered work. I cannot feel satisfied unless I have total freedom to do what I think is the most important thing to be doing. I can justify pretty much anything as necessary for the "big picture" even while I ignore schoolwork and do nothing to look for employment. I'm going to be able to get my dream job as a lab attendant next semester where I can teach other people how to use computers for various tasks, something that I absolutely love doing, telling other people how to do things/what to think, but it requires that I submit my enrollment information.

The big problem, I think, is that it's not just me. Who can argue that the stuff that I'm doing isn't more important than schoolwork? Nobody tells me that it's not just some elaborate scheme to continue my unresolved academephobia. For the first time in my life, I have a half-legitimate excuse for blowing my parent's dwindling savings on dropping class after class.

People can tell me what I should be doing, and when I'm on drug holiday I feel awful and I can hardly sleep at night under the stress. When I'm on meds, I feel like an omniscient being that knows that the path to success is to temporarily screw over my parents while I get all of the pieces to my master plan in place, and I won't listen to any opinions that what I'm doing is wrong.


you might be screwing up your world with the meds. I've been through this. Are they make you something you don't really want to be? Like you don't want to be arrogant and in real life without meds you're not? If it's making you act like that... is it hurting your relationships that you're passionate about improving?

You're right relationships are the most important thing... you might want to get off the meds... take a break... tell people they were screwing with your life choices... and begin again. People will understand that.

This happened to me. It'll just get worse. Could ruin your life. You don't want to get dependent on this stuff.

Do you think the meds are making you "hypomanic?" stimulant induced hypomania? antisocial symptoms?

sarahsweets
10-22-15, 04:45 AM
I see over an over how meds have been difficult for you day dreamin' but you have to realize that these are rare occurrences and only your experience and not typical. Saying these things is the same as fear mongering and could scare a newly medicated person.

you might be screwing up your world with the meds. I've been through this. Are they make you something you don't really want to be? Like you don't want to be arrogant and in real life without meds you're not? If it's making you act like that... is it hurting your relationships that you're passionate about improving?

You're right relationships are the most important thing... you might want to get off the meds... take a break... tell people they were screwing with your life choices... and begin again. People will understand that.

This happened to me. It'll just get worse. Could ruin your life. You don't want to get dependent on this stuff.

Do you think the meds are making you "hypomanic?" stimulant induced hypomania? antisocial symptoms?

Daydreamin22
10-22-15, 03:01 PM
I see over an over how meds have been difficult for you day dreamin' but you have to realize that these are rare occurrences and only your experience and not typical. Saying these things is the same as fear mongering and could scare a newly medicated person.

You know what? I'm not fear mongering, get another perspective. There is a terrible ignorance and a major promed bias on this forum and in big pharma as well. Someone as bias and that has such a widespread effect and the power to reach people on here everyday and all day should be not as bias as you.

Daydreamin22
10-22-15, 03:02 PM
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Lunacie
10-22-15, 05:57 PM
Maybe the med you've been taking isn't the best med for you. It might be worth
trying a different med before giving up on meds.

I clean a beauty salon so I'm not even going to address the idea that you think
some jobs are beneath you. It's a great match for me because I don't have to
deal with other people and I can work at my own pace which varies from week
to week. A dream job can turn into a nightmare, so look for what interests you
but don't count on any job being perfect.

therealxfiles
10-22-15, 09:38 PM
I apologize in advance, but I busted out laughing when I read your 2nd paragraph. Learning how to cook, working on your dream project.

That is exactly how I am when I take medication. In fact I have a midterm due tomorrow but I haven't studied for it. Although frankly, I am not worried about it.

Have you thought about looking into testout friendly options for colleges? or competency based education? I have done a fair bit of research and have come to the conclusion that this would better fit my needs. It would take a lot more self discipline than just going to college but in the end it would be faster, cheaper, and well less ********

sarahsweets
10-23-15, 07:51 AM
You know what? I'm not fear mongering, get another perspective. There is a terrible ignorance and a major promed bias on this forum and in big pharma as well. Someone as bias and that has such a widespread effect and the power to reach people on here everyday and all day should be not as bias as you.

So you are saying that the majority of the forum are ignorant and only see meds as the number one option? I can think of at least three who do different things-(lunacie, unmanagable, ccomm). And I know Big Pharma isnt in it for the simple reason of helping people and kum-ba-ya but they are also not wrapped up in a conspiracy to overmedicate people into oblivion.
Are you saying I have the wide-spread power here to reach people with my pro-med bias? I just want to understand you. I have no ill-will towards you and I want to validate that your experience with adderall was horrific according to you. But you cant take that singular persons's experience and comment in every thread how dangerous and addictive the meds are. It is fear mongering.
And I am not biased either. My son took dexedrine, my daughter used to be on adderall and my youngest doesnt take anything. The older two decided they didnt like the way they felt and we are managing my youngest daughter adhd will modifications at home and an antidepressant.

Daydreamin22
10-26-15, 07:31 PM
I can see the manner in which I informed her being dramatic, and "doom and gloom" as you've said, and am sorry for being offensive in the last post I made. Previously I'd seen dismissive reactions to legitimate problems with meds and then the promotion of meds to these same people having problems.

dvdnvwls
10-26-15, 08:05 PM
I can see the manner in which I informed her being dramatic, and "doom and gloom" as you've said, and am sorry for being offensive in the last post I made. Previously I'd seen dismissive reactions to legitimate problems with meds and then the promotion of meds to these same people having problems.
There are people who have legitimate problems with medication.

There are also people who think they have legitimate problems with medication but who actually don't. People who are continuing to take too large or too small a dose instead of telling their doctor that something isn't right, people who are abusing their medication, and so on.

dvdnvwls
10-26-15, 08:06 PM
Does your master plan involve a real guarantee of you making lots of money? One that everyone believes? If it does, then go for it!

It's perfectly legitimate to spend some of your parents' money if they know they are going to get back more.

If not... think again.


NOTE: I am not saying money is the only thing or the most important thing.

I am saying that it's a bad master plan if a good way of making money is not assured.

Brachenheiser
10-27-15, 01:45 PM
So, it sounds like in order to get your dream job, you have to prove you're enrolled in a program. If that's the case, the end may justify the means here.

But, we all have to do things that are less important to us. If you were able to keep up with your schoolwork before the meds, and now you're saying you've stopped altogether, then you might be on the wrong medication or dosage.

When working properly, meds don't really change who you are as a person. The person who was able to manage school, even if poorly, doesn't suddenly stop putting in any and all effort when the meds kick in. You wanted to go to school for a reason, and now it seems that your reason is no longer working for you. So, you have to question why that may be.

It sounds like you need school for this dream job of yours. That means, you have a good reason to make school important to you.

I see what DayDreamin is getting at though. It is possible that you're just on the wrong medication. For many people with ADD, the meds do help. But, I've been on one med that made me borderline psychotic. The doctor made it clear that my experience was not typical, but indicated an allergy to something in the medication.

I still use meds because they provide the necessary boost to get me started. But, if the med you are on is making you hypomanic, then yes, you should talk with your doctor. A different med, lower dose, or even a higher dose may be what is needed. The meds are weird, sometimes the opposite of what you expect is what you need.

Bottom line: It sounds like you're a drastically different person on the medication you're using. I'd say that's an indication something isn't right.

When the meds work properly, you should feel capable, not omnipotent. That does sound a bit manic.

My final thought: I don't think you're screwing over your parents. Unless you're stealing their money, and using their credit card behind their backs to pay the bill. I'm sure they don't want you to fail in college, but that is a risk in the investment they're making on you.

kilted_scotsman
10-28-15, 09:16 AM
Sounds like there's something deeper going on....

firstly I'd be concerned about the large difference in mood when your on and off meds.... that swing from being unable to sleep from stress to feeling omnipotent rings alarm bells for me.....

Secondly I'd be looking at the college thing..... we're REALLY conditioned that going to college is important..... which it can be..... but the timing is as important as the course taken..... some of us don't mature as fast and college isn't right for us straight out of school.

Much depends on your family dynamic.... however I'd be looking at being straight with your parents and asking them to help you by being willing to fund some sort of journey or personal growth experience instead of formal college. This might help you get some perspective and also reduce stress.

Abcdef
10-31-15, 04:33 PM
Edit edit

Bbmg91ashley
08-31-16, 06:55 PM
this sounds alot like me. here is what helped me

*make to do list! ( write only important things you will overwhelm yourself if you write too much to do)
*make a schedule and stick to it! ( im talking about timing everything in your day type of schedule like what time you will wake up, eat breakfast, cook, do housework etc)
*time yourself on certain tasks( like learning to cook and not so important things)
*set reminders on your phone to make sure youre still on track

***I will admit that I do sometimes completely ignore this on days I dont give a **** if i have a sink full of dishes or baskets full of laundry.

I know this might be extreme but this is how i get through days( Not on meds)
thats basically whats getting me by lately yes it takes alot of will power and self motivation so make sure what you are going to school for is what YOU really want to do! I'm finally getting my GED which ive been putting off for years because I never felt the need to get it! ( stay at home mom) I never actually knew what I wanted as a career until i went through my own life experiences. becoming a mom and taking care of newborns is what i love most so I plan on going to college for RN so I can be a nursery nurse. Ive never been this motivated to achieve anything in my life so I hope you find something you love doing!