View Full Version : Problems with Teacher


FlyButterfly
10-24-15, 07:51 PM
Hi Everyone,
My son is diagnosed with ADD and is attending a private
school. The school is not very supportive for kids that learn differently, and we are considering switching schools for next year. Until then, we still have to manage with this school.
We mentionned to both Principal and Teachers that my son always should have all his schoolworkbooks in his backpack to take home every day as he ortherwise forgets. I just found out my son has a test after his break, and of course just learned that most of the books were left at school. Doublecopies of the workbooks are apparently not an option. We do already have text books at home. Is it too much asked from the teacher to check that my son has all his books in his backpack?
The teacher is not very supportive and I don't think has much experience with ADD kids.

I also brought up about a grade my son received in a History test - we was taken points off for Grammar mistakes which makes so sense to me, especially since he goes to a French immersion school, and French is not his native language. Her reply to me was very critizizing - how dare I critize her as a teacher when I was merely critizing how my son was evaluated.

I think the teacher detests that my son requires special accomodations, and makes me feel bad about them. The teacher does not see the potential my son has - he is smart but is just struggling with attention, and writting.
We tried to have private evaluation for my son as he might have some dyslexia also, but it's too costly for us right now. Trying to have him evaluated via the Public School but hat will take time.

I guess I am just wondering if any of you parents with ADD kids have a difficult parent-teacher relationship, and how you solved it.

FlyButterfly
10-24-15, 08:07 PM
Here is part if the email the teacher sent me when I asked to reevaluate my son's history test. He is basically saying that this is 4th grade and it will only get harder for your son. I feel very discouraged, and wish my son would
have a more understanding teacher.

Now, I'm getting tired of you criticizing my work and the french school system.

You were aware 4th grade is an upper level.

And this is the beginning of the year. We only worked 7 weeks so far. The rythm will accelerate soon.

Also the kids will use the pen more and more, and I'm not talking about 5th grade...

I'm a professional of the french education curriculum and I don't have to justify my work to you. I'm not doing it anymore.

Socaljaxs
10-24-15, 08:09 PM
Hi Everyone,
My son is diagnosed with ADD and is attending a private
school. The school is not very supportive for kids that learn differently, and we are considering switching schools for next year. Until then, we still have to manage with this school.
We mentionned to both Principal and Teachers that my son always should have all his schoolworkbooks in his backpack to take home every day as he ortherwise forgets. I just found out my son has a test after his break, and of course just learned that most of the books were left at school. Doublecopies of the workbooks are apparently not an option. We do already have text books at home. Is it too much asked from the teacher to check that my son has all his books in his backpack?
The teacher is not very supportive and I don't think has much experience with ADD kids.

I also brought up about a grade my son received in a History test - we was taken points off for Grammar mistakes which makes so sense to me, especially since he goes to a French immersion school, and French is not his native language. Her reply to me was very critizizing - how dare I critize her as a teacher when I was merely critizing how my son was evaluated.

I think the teacher detests that my son requires special accomodations, and makes me feel bad about them. The teacher does not see the potential my son has - he is smart but is just struggling with attention, and writting.
We tried to have private evaluation for my son as he might have some dyslexia also, but it's too costly for us right now. Trying to have him evaluated via the Public School but hat will take time.

I guess I am just wondering if any of you parents with ADD kids have a difficult parent-teacher relationship, and how you solved it.


I not a parent but I was a diffecult kid. So I relate to how hard it is for your son and being an adult , I see how my behavior could have been better managed and handled... I had plenty of bad relationships with my teachers all through elementary and junior high and whoops high school as well...but this all started in preschool.. Yes preschool.

I see you live in California also.. One do they have any programs or even a daily weekly checklist that teachers and parents use to 1 let parents know of homework and how they behaved in school daily? If not see if you can sit down and have something like that be implemented as part of the daily school program for your son.. Be as proactive as possible.. He needs your support and you as his advocate.. Be paitent with him as well but be very stern and to the point With the school. They have in public school I know its a check sheet of a bunch of things I'm sure online has images of them that shows any homework or tests coming up.. Reminders of anything kids need to bring and how they behaved strengths and weakness during the day that teachers sign and have parents sign and principals monitor.

Considering you have your son in private school one would assume they would be smaller classes and more time per student resources and options to help.. It's possible if it's considered a prestigious school they won't do it for the simple fact they cater to being the said school of the rich and famous(I live in Los Angeles we have several of them and my mom tried to put me in such school and I was like no way no how) But if this school isn't giving your son what he needs and you are paying for private school maybe yes another school may be a better option one that works with special needs and really is student oriented...

Random but I was watching a Lisa Lang special on ADHD.. One of the children had problems in his public school and because the school district was small and didn't have the resources they paid to send the child to a special ADHD school.. I'm like go public school. Scary that they have so many issues yet more resources than schools that are paid to be at.. Go luck

Socaljaxs
10-24-15, 08:13 PM
Here is part if the email the teacher sent me when I asked to reevaluate my son's history test. He is basically saying that this is 4th grade and it will only get harder for your son. I feel very discouraged, and wish my son would
have a more understanding teacher.

Now, I'm getting tired of you criticizing my work and the french school system.

You were aware 4th grade is an upper level.

And this is the beginning of the year. We only worked 7 weeks so far. The rythm will accelerate soon.

Also the kids will use the pen more and more, and I'm not talking about 5th grade...

I'm a professional of the french education curriculum and I don't have to justify my work to you. I'm not doing it anymore.


Omg ewwwww I would be going to the principal and above with that kind of attitude personally.. That teach has serious high horse issues and I'm sorry for his students.. This is a problem that this teacher had the nerve to say that. Any chance he can switch teachers inside the school?

Lunacie
10-24-15, 08:38 PM
I dealt with someone last year who took everything I said as criticism (not a
teacher). I did some serious soul searching before deciding that it was actually
her problem, not something I wasn't doing right.

We had an awful time with our local school and my grandkids until two years
ago. After they threw in the towel and sent my autistic granddaughter to a
school for kids with behaviorial problems she actually did better there. The
problem with her behavior was that the teacher didn't try to work with her,
didn't like her.

Finally the autism coordinator for the district was able to start a new classroom
for kids with autism at a different school and she has totally flourished there.
Our local school has to pay transportation costs and stuff like that.

Her big sister was really struggling in high school, she has adhd and anxiety.
She finally asked to transfer to online school and is doing better, when her
anxiety doesn't pull the rug out from under her.


Okay, you've tried communicating with the teacher and asking him/her for
suggestions, didn't work. Next step up may be the counselor or the principal.
Yeah, it's early in the year, but the teacher is right, things will only get harder
this year and next year, and the year after that. Get some help NOW.

Does your son have a 504 Plan? You may need to ask for a review of that to
get your son some help before he falls too far behind. If he doesn't have one,
then ask for one. You can read about 504 Plans at wrightslaw.com. There is
a lot of helpful information there.

stef
10-25-15, 04:53 AM
Is this teacher from France?
I have lived here a long time and A LOT of teachers have this attitude. its the culture itself, that can be incredibly negative and in tomidating. " its just going to get harder". at the same time teachers as individuals dont always have a lot of support themselves ( from the educational system and goverrnment) and can be very defensive.

i was told when my son was in preschool that he "might not be able to keep up" in first grade. he has no learning disabilities he was just a methodical little kid. ok'so hes studying to be a translator now so he was pretty much ok in language development....

he had some amazing teachers too, dont get me wrong. but we moved when he was in middle school ( bad timing but we had no choice) , the new middle school was unfriendly and i was unkindly told his work was " inconsistent". not, we realize your son is adjusting this year, he is doing great in a few classes, how can we make this work?"

anyway dont take this personally and dont expect this teacher to understand. maybe you could put a checlist in his backpack , for him?

sarahsweets
10-25-15, 07:42 AM
HOLY SH*T! I cant believe a teacher sent that to you. He sounds like a petulant child!
He is not someone who is involved with teaching out of love and dedication. He would rather make little french drones rather than think outside the box and help a struggling child. I know some people say private school is wonderful but I am not sure they are beholden to the same laws that a public school would be. I think you need to remove him from that school asap. Do not wait until next year, even if you have to homeschool him. Imagine how he is treating your child when you are not around if that is how he treated you??? He is causing damage to your son and its up to you to protect him.

Vandeluca
10-29-15, 11:29 AM
We have ours private and I had a monster wolf in sheep's clothing teacher type of experience in grade 2. It took a year to get our child back on track after the damage. We weren't the only ones but my child was younger. The behavior your teacher showed was passive-aggressive IMO and he is unprofessional. Imagine how he treats your son that your son may or may not pick up on. I doubt he (teacher)will change. Is there any way to make a checklist each night of what your son needs to probably bring him the next night (or 2 or 3)? Does he get a calendar/date planner? The teacher could really be emaiing this to him (if he doesn't want to deal with you).

This is a funny age b/c the other kids know something is different (As does your son) and the teacher is just magnifying this when it doesn't have to be a big deal. Perhaps you need to go higher bc you are paying for it...if they loose you they loose money and the principal may not want that.

I have found most teachers don't really grasp it, and probably think we are all helicopter parents. They won't get it unless they are in your shoes or truly care to learn and embrace kids how they are and how they learn. I get upset at these teachers who really just want to cast the kids aside 'it will get harder' . Sure it will but we are trying to teach them skills to improve and cope. <aybe they are not as at speed with the rest, but that doesn't mean they won't be at some point. I am not overly happy with the school system and teachers I am seeing overall. I lament daily about it. I just try to help and fill in the pieces on what I can.

But yes go to the principal and discuss what you need for your child to succeed and be blunt and even say you worry about retaliation from this teacher. Show the email.

Fuzzy12
10-29-15, 11:38 AM
That letter is unacceptable. By the way I agree with you. She shouldn't take marks off for poor grammar (as long as it's clear what he is trying to say) in a history test. I guess, that might depend on the school's policy though.

I don't think it's too much to ask a teacher to check if your son has got all his books (I'm assuming that she doesn't have to do this for ever pupil) but with her attitude I'm not sure she will agree. I think you should speak to someone else, like the principal of the school.

FlyButterfly
10-31-15, 02:28 AM
Hi,
Thank you all for your kind and helpful remarks.

We went to the school's principal, and he agreed that the teacher's email was unprofessional. The teacher has now apologized to us.

Hopefully we can move on from this incidence.
My son actually really likes his school and his teacher, plus he feels comfortable being immersed in the French language/culture. So it would be our (and our son's) preference for him to stay at his current school, at least for the rest of his school year.

The principal has agreed to oral testing our son instead which should alleviate some of these issues we've been having. And apparently the teacher will be more vigilant in checking his books before dismissal. I am keeping my fingers crossed.

TangledWebs
10-31-15, 03:31 AM
Is there a school counselor at this school? We help with organization and will meet with certain students to make sure they are bringing home the materials they need on a daily basis. I used to meet with many students with ADHD. I would make sure they were using their assignment notebook and print out any missing assignments. I would help them organize their binders and their locker.

Socaljaxs
10-31-15, 04:21 AM
I brought this up before and I went and googled daily report cards or checklist for teachers and the parents for the child. I did an image search first and saw many different kinds of check list.. Also, a few sites that talk about how to set up this daily report card, it benefits not only to the child and helps you keep him on track but it will also make it easier for the teacher and the parents or guardians to be forced to help keep him accountable as well.

https://www.google.com/#q=adhd+daily+checklist+for+teachers+and+parents

http://ccf.buffalo.edu/pdf/school_daily_report_card.pdf

http://www.additudemag.com/adhd/article/3573.html

http://www.helpguide.org/articles/add-adhd/attention-deficit-disorder-adhd-and-school.htm

Also google image of this had tons of examples available to use as well. It's such an easy Practical way of making sure your son brings books home and stays on task.. They have rewards ideas and even a check list for your son to include his daily report as well.

qanda
10-31-15, 09:38 AM
Don't know if the cost would be an issue, but if not, could you purchase the extra copies of books to keep at home?

How about copies being made?

As a forgetful person, and teacher, I would much rather have my student have the books at home rather than have me need to remember to check for him. I could foresee myself forgetting to do that as sometimes things get hectic and attentions are drawn to other problems. Seems books at home are an easy solution, so not sure why the school won't do that.

Khamy25
12-13-15, 01:40 PM
Hi,

I'm French :) even in France such email is unacceptable and unprofessional.

Some teachers are arrogant like in any country then you need to show her such attitude isn't acceptable for you and she has to respect you.

Don't hesitate to make more complaints to the principal if such incident happens again.

Parents and teachers should work as a team for the child's good.

I hope she'll now respect you and your child.

ToneTone
12-23-15, 08:39 PM
Well you have two issues:

About the books, I would leave a message on the phone and/or find the email of the school principal and ask if there is a possibility that the building will be open over the break. Sometimes administrators come in days before school starts for the children and so you might be able to get your son's books that way. Or a principal could alert a maintenance worker to allow you in to retrieve the books. Go to the top. This teacher seems like an idiot, so I wouldn't bother with her.

The teacher deserves a reprimand. I teach college (where I have a lot of freedom in how I am allowed to talk to students) and I would get a major reprimand writing such a rude note. Any email like this would go viral at my campus and kids throughout the university would be mocking me (justifiably so). This teacher clearly is confused about her role: she is a teacher, not a dictators whose authority is beyond question.

Time to call the principal and air your complaints. That teacher needs a major reprimand and rebuke. I would quit trying to work with her until after you, the principal, her and possibly your son can meet together.

Is there another teacher (at the current school) whose class your child can be transferred to? I can't imagine that another teacher could be as rude and defensive and offensive as this one ...

You can politely ask a teacher to remind your son to take his books home, but keep it at "an ask" and your results (with a different teacher!) might be good. Your son will definitely need to learn to do this ... Possibly he can talk to a friend and ask the friend to remind him ... Does your son have a smart phone or a beeper or something that can remind him? So yes, you can ask a decent teacher (not this one as of now) to remind your son ... but ask it as a favor. You'll get better results that way.

Good luck.

Tone