View Full Version : Depression with no sadness ... situational? Hormones? Help!


demfabbones
10-26-15, 03:40 PM
Background: I take 100 mg setraline (zoloft) daily and .5 mg Atavan as needed (which is rarely.)

Although anxiety is my major issue, I've had depression before. It was always related to a feeling of being stuck - desperately unhappy with my circumstances, but having no means by which to change them.

I feel very stuck and depressed now, but the major difference is, I don't feel sad, and there is a definite end in sight. In two months I'm moving to a new city to be with my boyfriend. I'm super excited about this, but in the meantime, I am so tired. I feel ridiculous for being this way - I only have to make it two months. But in the meantime I'm miserable at my job and it is a huge struggle to drag myself out of bed in the morning. When I'm at work, it's hard to get anything done and the tasks are piling up. When I get home, I feel exhausted from doing nothing, and I want nothing more than to just lie in bed and eat or watch Netflix (or both.)

I have plenty of friends here, but it seems like a waste of time to continue to invest in friendships when I'm leaving. I realize that this is the worst possible attitude to take towards friends and that I can stay in touch with these people after I move. (I'm only going 3 hours away so I'll be back for frequent visits.)

Before now, I was a little mystified at how blank and empty I feel, but I knew I could survive it. But this past weekend, I experienced unaccountable RAGE at how powerless I feel. Like, wanted to scream and cry and hit things rage. And did some of that. And felt no better. My mood feels completely out of control. I also started taking birth control two months ago and wonder if the hormones are having a detrimental affect on my mood? I have never had PMS like what I'm having now ... in fact, it rarely affected me. But I thought BC was supposed to regulate hormones and make PMS better...?

All of this really makes very little sense to me. I know that moving to be with my boyfriend won't be all sunshine and rainbows 24/7, but I am genuinely excited and know it's the right decision, so I don't think any of this is anxiety in disguise. And I'm a grown-up, so I know that 2 months is NOT that long to wait.

I used to love my job and I don't want to leave things in poor shape for my predecessor. (My current job doesn't know I'm leaving.) I also don't want to just write off the people who love me here just because I'm moving.

I don't want to put myself in a position where my life falls apart because I'm waiting for my "new life" to start. But I just can't seem to bring myself to care enough to do anything...

TangledWebs
10-26-15, 05:08 PM
Although anxiety is my major issue, I've had depression before. It was always related to a feeling of being stuck - desperately unhappy with my circumstances, but having no means by which to change them.

I feel very stuck and depressed now, but the major difference is, I don't feel sad, and there is a definite end in sight.

What's your diagnonsense? My depression is typically situational, too. I have very poor coping skills. In the past, I've been diagnosed with situational depression and adjustment disorder.

Before now, I was a little mystified at how blank and empty I feel, but I knew I could survive it. But this past weekend, I experienced unaccountable RAGE at how powerless I feel. Like, wanted to scream and cry and hit things rage. And did some of that. And felt no better. My mood feels completely out of control.

I've experienced feelings of chronic emptiness, out-of-control mood swings, and periods of INTENSE, UNCONTROLLABLE RAGE as well. I'm not sure if these feelings and episodes are caused by ADHD. :scratch: I've been misdiagnosed with Bipolar II, and I've been told I have borderline personality disorder tendencies; thus, numerous psychiatrists obviously believe I have some kind of comorbid psychiatric disorder, but have yet to agree on one specific disorder.

I also started taking birth control two months ago and wonder if the hormones are having a detrimental affect on my mood? I have never had PMS like what I'm having now ... in fact, it rarely affected me. But I thought BC was supposed to regulate hormones and make PMS better...?

Birth control may potentially cause irritability and mood swings in some people, yes. Have you experienced these symptoms prior to taking birth control? If so, then the birth control may not be to blame.

stef
10-26-15, 05:21 PM
They have crazy employment laws here ( which can be good because you cant just randomly get fired but you cant just give 2 weeks notice either). and i found a new job a few years ago but had to wait over two months to start it .
i was so happy but those 2 months were endless. maybe it's just the waiting, somehow. I justwanted to get it over with, because change is so difficult even when its good.

demfabbones
10-27-15, 11:39 AM
What's your diagnonsense? My depression is typically situational, too.

Ha, just caught your word play. I haven't had significant issues with depression since college, so I couldn't begin to tell you what that (now forgotten) doctor diagnosed me with. I'd guess situational depression. My other diagnosis is ADHD/generalized anxiety.


I've experienced feelings of chronic emptiness, out-of-control mood swings, and periods of INTENSE, UNCONTROLLABLE RAGE as well. I'm not sure if these feelings and episodes are caused by ADHD. :scratch:

Glad to know I'm not alone. Hopefully your lack of an agreed-upon diagnosis hasn't been a huge hindrance to you in getting treatment. I think sometimes my ADD can lead to rage when I feel like I can't get my brain on the right track. It's very frustrating. But this type of rage feels different ...

Birth control may potentially cause irritability and mood swings in some people, yes. Have you experienced these symptoms prior to taking birth control? If so, then the birth control may not be to blame.

The rage does feel different and recent, so maybe it is BC. I tried to research this and the lack of results are understandable (hard to scientifically measure people's moods) but frustrating. The good news I guess is that if it is caused by BC, the mood swings apparently even out over time.

demfabbones
10-27-15, 11:41 AM
They have crazy employment laws here ( which can be good because you cant just randomly get fired but you cant just give 2 weeks notice either). and i found a new job a few years ago but had to wait over two months to start it .
i was so happy but those 2 months were endless. maybe it's just the waiting, somehow. I justwanted to get it over with, because change is so difficult even when its good.

Huh, I've never heard of that. Where is here? That would be very hard to wait for.

I'm a generally impatient person. Like kid-waiting-for-Christmas impatient. I still made those paper chains right up through college because I couldn't wait for winter break to start. I think it made it worse, actually.

That's good to know that maybe I'm not being totally insane. (Maybe.)