View Full Version : Newbie, wondering if these are ADD traits


ohxmywaterfall
10-31-15, 06:35 PM
Hi all! I'm new to ADD (last few months) and these forums (today!) and I'm trying to stop beating myself up over so many things that I always thought were just bad traits of mine. I know my procrastination, distractability and things like that are definitely traits of ADD. But I'm wondering if any of these other things that give me trouble are caused by ADD, and for the ones that are, if any of you have experienced something similar and could share what helped you.

Lack of sex drive: I have a very low sex drive. I really enjoy it during, but I rarely initiate and often feel too distracted/worried about other things/low self-esteem to go along when my BF wants to, which is very often. It causes a lot of arguments and negative feelings in both of us. I want to want to more, but I just can't seem to.

Indecisiveness: Big, small, and in between, I can't make decisions. I feel like my brain is a roulette wheel of all possible choices, and I think way too much about the potential outcomes of any choice until I stop the spinning wheel at random out of sheer exhaustion of thinking, then usually end up regretting the choice.

FOMO: Stands for fear of missing out. I am always so worried about whether or not I'm using my time in the best way, whether that be the most fun thing or most productive thing, and I dwell on it and feel bad about it when I don't feel that I have

Awkwardness: I have a lot of friends, love being social, think I'm a pretty fun and funny person, but I feel so awkward all the time. I avoid uncomfortable situations and confrontations at all costs, and just don't know how to bring things up. I love talking to people and can hold a conversation, but I can't initiate to save my life. I overthink about how people perceive me, even very close friends who I know like me no matter what, I'm worried and nervous to an almost paralyzing degree

Inability to keep in touch with people: I worry that I've lost a lot of good friends because I just can't keep up with keeping in touch. Birthday presents sit unmailed for months, "I've been meaning to" becomes never, and I feel like i must be a terrible friend

Impulsive spending, guilt, repeat: I'll drop too much money online shopping, feel bad about it and refuse something justified and reasonably priced, then forget about it and do it again

Are any of these things that you've experienced too? If you've overcome or improved them, what helped you? I have a therapist, and I'm seeing a doctor soon to discuss the possibility of medication. Any advice is appreciated. Thank you!

Delphine
10-31-15, 07:43 PM
Welcome! :) I'm recently diagnosed too.

I can say 'yes' to most of these..... I often joke that I don't deserve friends because I just can't keep up with keeping in touch either!
(Note: be careful of ending up with the pushy ones, just because they are the ones who will insist on keeping in touch!)

Knowing that all of these things are ADHD traits was enough to stop the merry-go-around for me..... and help me s.t.o.p. and pause and regroup... and decide that now that I know, what do I intend to do about it!

So good to finally know that it has nothing to do with 'bad traits' and everything to do with an underlying condition. I found that liberating - puts one back in the driving seat at least!

caretothepeople
11-01-15, 11:37 AM
Hi ohxmywaterfall,

Welcome! It's great that you're here, reaching out, and exploring your options for feeling better. When it comes to medication you'll want to sure you discuss all your options through with your doc so you can pick what's right for you. There's this great article from HealthCentral that has a list of considerations and specific questions to ask about ADD meds. It might even be worthwhile printing it out and bringing it with you to the appt so you can jot notes. Anyway, here's the the link! http://www.healthcentral.com/adhd/just-diagnosed-196777-5.html :)

-MW