View Full Version : My (Potential) ADHD Child - Need Help


dadof4
11-11-15, 07:25 PM
I need some advice and moral support. I have a 5-year old child who I strongly believe had ADD. He just started school this year and we are starting to get some phone calls about him.

I should start at the beginning. Aidan was always a very busy child. His development was reasonably normal physically. He was a late talker, however. We went through a lot of judgement from other people during his 3-4 age because people assumed from the results (child not talking properly) that we were parenting him properly. That's still a sticking point between the grandparents and ourselves and we seem to have trouble getting beyond that. At 4-5, we started having a lot of behavioral issues with him not complying with routines (not wanting to switch from his chosen activity for instance to the one we needed him to do like eating supper) He has problems sitting through things like eating supper, complying with requests like cleaning his room, getting dressed in the morning, getting out of bed at all in the morning, etc.

I was hoping that he woudl be better in a school environment (I know many kids that are better in a school environment than they are at home) The phone calls we've been getting from the school are matching the kind of behaviour we've been seeing at home, however. He's having issues sitting still on the school bus, paying attention to activities in class and even going outside the plaground boundaries at school. Some of these are basic safety issues and can't be ignored.

Before the school year started, some of these issues were discussed with the school because we definitely had concerns. There was talk of getting him some assistance at school or perhaps even a monitor on his school bus. The school district has done neither so far. Those conversations just seem to get forgotten.

I should add - I don't feel like the most patient parent because I feel as though I'm constantly giving Aidan instructions... instructions which mainly he's not complying with and which we have to repeat 25,000 times.

Ok - Venting over... I think I've given a fairly accurate description of my child. Now I would like to ask a question: In our discussions with the school, we have been told that it's very difficult to formally test a child for ADHD before age 7 but I'm very concerned that he's going to fail in the school system if we don't get him some help before then. What experiences do other parents have that might help me understand what we need to do.

I'm exasperated with being exasperated and I just want to figure out a way to have a positive relationship with this child and for him to have a positive relationship with the world around him.

Feel free to post here or PM. I would love to hear from some people.

Sincerely,
dadof4

aeon
11-12-15, 12:22 AM
The first step should be a thorough evaluation by a pediatric psychiatrist or other medical professional with a primary focus on child development.

What you describe could be any number of things.

Also consider evaluation for yourself and your spouse. A number of conditions have a genetic component.

If your son indeed has ADHD, get educated about what that means. Repeating something 25,000 times isnít going to mean a thing if that is indeed the case. And thatís true for other conditions as well.

Welcome to the Forums! :)


Well Wishes,
Ian

sarahsweets
11-12-15, 08:14 AM
Please read my sticky in children's diagnosis. It tells my story about diagnosing my son, who is 19 now. I am not trying to act like I am the authority but it can help give you perspective.

someothertime
11-12-15, 09:08 AM
You sound like a really genuine and level headed dude. These are exactly the traits you'll need to navigate the world of people demanding compliance and pigeon holes. Of alarmists, ignoramists and downright lazy educators at times....

Now... first and foremost..... people are people... this is above and beyond any externality.

What I suggest is that your every action, thought and decision in this domain stem from this platform. That of you, your family, your families experience and happiness.

Now, fortunately there are informed, caring, helpful and supportive people out there. Herein is where you will receive the most practicable and healthy options for you and your family. Sarah, and many here like her are just a few.

What I would say is this. Move mountains to make your childs experience as light and accepting as possible. If / when / where..... actions are undertaken to facilitate this.... be them professional or otherwise.....

So, your families happiness, your terms and time, your decisions guided by relevant and INFORMED persons.

Practicalities now..... when it comes to schools / bureaucracy.... it is knowledge of your cards and the rules of engagement that will see you through... What is most challenging is when you do not.... or can not know what your cards are.... It is this element that has the potential and very high likelihood that will be used against you or perhaps devalue your needs rights and concerns.

So find those who can shed light here...... and at all times.... shed some light yourself.

I believe there are people near you who have experience with similar things, and you need them. They may shed light on ability.... on environment..... on format..... Guidance is not a sign of flaw, fault or weakness... It is input.... which is a step in the right direction.

To alter, inform and adjust is not easy.... especially if viewed realtime..... But imaging I could give you a crystal ball...... and you could watch videos of peoples input..... of parenting tools you try....... of benefits and perhaps breakdowns..... Would you not be damn proud of yourself? Would you not have gained?

Take it slow....... and take an informed path each turn...... it will be better.

Peace.