View Full Version : Can't seem to keep a job


Melody88
12-16-15, 03:58 AM
I'm new to this forum but I have been reading some threads for awhile now.I'm so desperate for advice and people who understand me that I decided to start my own thread.

I have always known I had ADD, but I did't want to think too much about it. But since I graduated I haven't been able to keep a job. I could only get temp jobs and it's the same story every time. For eighthours a day I have to do simple, administrative tasks. Obviously, I get bored, but it's much more than that. I can't concentrate ( I was familiar with this because it was always a problem in school), I start to feel exhausted and anxious at the same time. By the end of the day it's like my body and brain can't take it anymore and it's practically impossible to concentrate, my heart starts beating faster and I just wanna run. This has gotten worse over the year, with every new temp job. By now I literally feel sick at the end of a workday. I'm exhausted all the time. I don't have it as much when I can work parttime and arrange it so I can work a couple of hours a day instead of eight, but as a temp, I really don't get a choice in my hours.
So I lose all my temp jobs because I call in sick too many times, or I'm not focused enough, or I ask for too much ( like more challenging tasks or different workhours).

Do any of you recognize this? I really feel this is the ADD coming out full force. Not being able to concentrate, getting restless and anxious, needing to be stimulated mentally, having a hard time dealing with the constant change of environment.
But most people around me don't get it. I feel misunderstood and kind of lonely in this. Only my mom gets it, because she's seen me struggle with this since i was a kid. But I really need to hear from people who get it, who have the same thing, that I'm not crazy, or just a lazy quitter.

sarahsweets
12-16-15, 04:57 AM
What have you done in the past to treat your adhd?

Pilgrim
12-16-15, 07:57 AM
This is very much ADD. In the end to find the job that ticks all the boxes is probably a dream.
I think you can go close though. There will also be a lot of struggle.
One way to cope with this is look at it like a muscle development thing, push hard and stress yourself. But there is a limit to this.
Find out what works for you, what you like, love and what sucks.

I also take medication and without this I wouldn't go to work, it gives you that bit extra. Increased concentration.
Having ADD and a job you don't like is a bad mix.

Melody88
12-16-15, 09:36 AM
Thank you guys for the quick reply's. I'm really struggling right now. It's a very lonely thing. Thats way i came here. Im glad to read you think it's typical ADD, makes me feel less crazy.

As for what I have done to treat it: I take Efexor. It's know as an anti depressant but according to my doctor it also helps with ADD. Ive been taking it for years and I feel it helps with my concentration. Also my thoughts are less chaotic, I can actually follow a train of thought. But it obviously doesnt fix it all.

InvitroCanibal
12-16-15, 07:46 PM
http://www.additudemag.com/adhd/article/11041.html

http://www.additudemag.com/adhd/article/10117.html


http://www.additudemag.com/adhd/article/10608.html

http://www.additudemag.com/adhd/article/11181.html



My doc wrote those articles. Please read them if you can.


I guess what I want you to know is that you're not alone in all of it, and to just reach out at any time and send a PM or post a thread if you need advice or support.

The best advice I could say is already said in those articles by my doctor.

You can't fight the problems that you do not understand so I hope the articles help

sarahsweets
12-17-15, 03:20 AM
Melody- I am curious as to why you have never tried a stimulant? They are considered a first line treatment for adhd. I know you say youve been on the antidepressant but clearly its not helping you the way you need to be helped.

ADHDTV
12-17-15, 05:35 AM
I can 100% relate to you, OP.

I had suspected social phobia for this exact same set of symptoms (and even got a diagnosis of social phobia) until I realized it was much deeper than that. Forgetting stuff and being out-of-sync when it comes to switching tasks has always gotten me in trouble at work, and I'm honestly not sure how anyone with ADD keeps a steady job (I know I can't).

I don't have any words of wisdom, but I can relate for sure.

dvdnvwls
12-17-15, 03:31 PM
..., and I'm honestly not sure how anyone with ADD keeps a steady job (I know I can't).
One reason is that ADHD is not the total of who you are. It affects each person differently.

Melody88
12-17-15, 05:17 PM
Thank you for the kind words InvitroCanibal! I will definitely sit down and read those articles this weekend! Ive been looking for some good information to educate myself so thats a big help.

Sarahsweets: maybe you're right, but I am incredibly careful when it comes to medication. Ive seen people around me responding badly to meds and I am so scared that that will happen to me. Also I know firsthand how incredibly difficult it is to get of Effexor and I can't say im looking forward to that. I am kinda scared to 'rock the boat' when it comes to my mental health.

I have signed on to get some sort of ADD coaching in the local hospital and I'm hoping they'll teach me some coping techniques that will help. But today I heard that it will take weeks to even get signed in and even longer to get started.

I am afraid Im gonna lose this job as well, I honestly don't know how much longer I can take it. I know it sounds over the top, but everything inside me screams that I can't do this anymore. It's my sixth temp job im 18 months. I'm going nuts behind those screens for eight hours a day.

KarmanMonkey
12-18-15, 10:08 AM
When it comes to meds, you're right about the fact that it affects everyone differently, and that there can be bad outcomes. It sounds like life isn't working out well currently, though, so it's likely that the benefits outweigh the risks. In the end, only you can decide that.

Some things you can do to mitigate the risks:

1) Spell out your concerns with your doctor. They can help you work through your concerns and can speak to risk from an objective standpoint. Some of the negative experiences you've seen or heard of may be for reasons beyond the medication (e.g. misdiagnosis, medication interactions, addiction) and those risks may not apply to you, or at least be substantially less than you fear.

2) Work out a plan. This can be as simple as "trial meds for 2 weeks, see where we stand", or can be as complex as you like. For me, I had a few people I trusted keep an eye on me and tell me what changes (if any) they saw. It was helpful in understanding what effects the meds had on me. You can also negotiate when to stop taking the meds, so telling the doc "If you see X,Y or Z, I'd like you to discontinue the medication" can be an effective strategy as well.

3) Find objective measures for how you're doing. I find my own judgment of how I'm doing to be unreliable at best, so look for things you can measure that will tell you how the meds are affecting you. For mood, I find going through e-mails I've sent is a good way of telling if my mood is shifting; the language I use changes if I'm depressed, anxious, angry, etc. For functional abilities and focus, I look at things like the clothes next to my bed, dishes in the sink, and the quality of notes I keep from meetings/classes/etc. The amount of clutter on my desk is a good measure of my wellbeing as well.

Any medication carries risk, and I had significant concerns trying stimulants as well, but I can speak to the fact that they can make a world of difference, and in my case with next to no side effects.

As for difficulty getting off a medication, most often when they start someone on stimulants, it's a very small dose, and it's an immediate release variety, so they wash out of your system quite quickly. Usually the long acting stuff is introduced later once they know you respond well to the medication.

It sounds like your quality of life isn't the best at the moment, and I have to wonder if that wouldn't 'rock the boat' with your mental health more than trialing a first line medication for a condition you've been diagnosed with.

Even if you only try stimulants in the short term, it can be a tool to make it easier to establish the lifestyle changes, the routine, and the coping strategies your ADD coach will be working on with you.

In the end, it's your choice. I find that especially with the important choices, I want to make sure I'm as informed as I can be before making it. When it comes to medications, I like to go in with my eyes wide open, and know all the risks, how to watch for them, cope with them, or respond to them. I also like to know what I can and can't expect as far as benefit, and how long I need to wait before seeing the full benefit.

I can relate to wanting to avoid medication; I also know that it's like any other condition, and medication can be a tool. I've been employed full time (and successfully) for almost four years. I doubt the me that was unmedicated could've handled that.

acdc01
12-18-15, 05:24 PM
I agree with sarahsweets about stimulants. They're proven to be the most effective and I think may make the most difference for you (if they work).

Also, how long are you planning stick with temp. jobs? I guess it's good that you're doing that since if you get fired it doesn't really matter much but at the same time, temp. jobs can sometimes be very difficult for us.

In some ways it's great. You're not doing the same job over and over again (theoretically though sounds like your work is still boring). Yet the reason I can survive at my job is cause I can develop systems to work around my weaknesses. You can't do that with temp. jobs as once you've figure out you have a weakness, you don't have time to implement a plan for working around the weakness since the job is already over.

And yes, sounds like ADHD though you should really get officially diagnosed by a psychiatrist who specializes in ADHD.

Abcdef
12-18-15, 08:35 PM
The art of dealing with a job is not the job itself but being comfortable with people who are around you :P

anonymouslyadd
12-18-15, 09:17 PM
Thank you for the kind words InvitroCanibal! I will definitely sit down and read those articles this weekend! Ive been looking for some good information to educate myself so thats a big help.

Sarahsweets: maybe you're right, but I am incredibly careful when it comes to medication. Ive seen people around me responding badly to meds and I am so scared that that will happen to me. Also I know firsthand how incredibly difficult it is to get of Effexor and I can't say im looking forward to that. I am kinda scared to 'rock the boat' when it comes to my mental health.

I have signed on to get some sort of ADD coaching in the local hospital and I'm hoping they'll teach me some coping techniques that will help. But today I heard that it will take weeks to even get signed in and even longer to get started.

I am afraid Im gonna lose this job as well, I honestly don't know how much longer I can take it. I know it sounds over the top, but everything inside me screams that I can't do this anymore. It's my sixth temp job im 18 months. I'm going nuts behind those screens for eight hours a day.
I think you need to make lists: make a list of all the things that you don't like about the job. Is it the work itself, the boss or the companies values/culture? You want to know what jobs to stay away from.

PolaBear
12-18-15, 11:12 PM
Going through this whole thing right now, you are right at times it feels like there is no path that will work out, but that's all down to mindset I guess. Will add more to this.

Melody88
12-19-15, 03:56 PM
I will definitely look into medication. I am pretty sure it will come up dringt the coaching I am going to get, so I am interested to hear what they have to tell about it.

Acdc01: I forgot to say in my original post that I have officially been diagnosed when I was a teenager. Though my parents and i have always known, it was more to have it official and on paper by a professional.

But I dont know a lot of other people with ADD, so I didnt know if what I am experiencing is the ADD. Thats way I came here. To talk to people who know and, hopefully, recognize it and understand. Sometimes it's hard for me to see if something is simply me, struggling with something, or if it's my ADD. And sometimes it's both intertwined, which is even more confusing.
I have a hard time explaining to people around me how it feels. And especially know struggling with work, i feel like a lot of people around me think I am simply lazy or whining. Even though I know Thats not true,I start to doubt myself.
Especially when, at the end of a long workday, I feel like my head is about to explode and I am restless, anxious and exhausted all at the same time, I think: is this the ADD or am I going crazy? And when people around me say things like: I feel that way too sometimes, you do what you have to do, just keep going, dont complain. And I think: but I can't do this anymore! I start to feel like a lazy whiny millenial and it shakes my confidence. Why does it seem so easy for other people and is it so hard for me.
I honestly didnt even think about the ADD and thought i was just stressing out, until my mother said she thought my ADD was a big factor in my struggling. I never wanted to think or talk about my ADD so I feel that now that I am confronting it for the very first time. Even by just coming here and talking about it and seeking people who get it.

Also, I am definitely not doing these temp jobs voluntarily. I cant get anything else. I live in Europe and jobs are hard to come by right know. Even getting a temp job is lucky. If I dont take them, I am unemployed. I have been unemployed on and of between the temp jobs and I look for a steady job every chance I get.
Thats also one of the worst things about the temp jobs: you get treated like crap and they get away with it because they know everyone is desperate for a job right now.

PolaBear
12-20-15, 09:13 AM
The conflict within me (and I know I'm stereotyping a little bit) is that I hear people talk all over about office, corporate, targets, suit and tie, hierarchy, meanings, business talk etc, and I couldn't be further away from that environment.

Then there is customer service type things. I'm a big talker and express all day in one way or another but that's all me. Not a scripted way of handling people, procedure garbage and all of that. The crazy thing is that being this way was good in most circumstances as you are open and honest, just not with the role itself if it is full of false!

Then there are say technical type of things, I'm in no way accurate as a lot of things are based on mood and feeling with me, so am not really consistent in that way. And doing a certain thing for a long time would and does drive me into rage, especially if I can't move or change the scenery.

So it has to be an environemt that is individualistic, not forced or restricted. Have always had this feeling where when you look or see actors, sports people, music artists etc talk they seem to be able to talk in many dimensions, yet all around seems kinda one dimensional if that makes sense.

PolaBear
12-20-15, 09:17 AM
Even goes as far as clothes, always blowed my mind why an environment that is suit/tie etc is seen as "professional" I mean it's not expressive at all? It's drone like and not going on what suits a person or who they are or are comfortable with. I'm not saying there ain't smart wear and casual wear and nice looking suits, but grey and beige reflects grey and beige!

KarmanMonkey
12-23-15, 10:44 AM
Maybe consider a volunteer position (even one day a week) to help balance out all the struggles. It's a good way to test drive a type of work too, to see if you can be effective. It also can be a big ego boost!

Being successful at work, for me, had a few different parts:

1) Having a job that spoke to my values. If it's a job I feel is meaningful and important, I'm happier and more enthusiastic.

2) Having coworkers who support each other.

3) Working on my own self-awareness, and attending to my self-care and mental health.

Very little of the above has to do with the work itself, but rather how I look at the work, who I'm working with, and how I treat myself.

I'm coming up on the four year mark at my current job, and though there are headaches, it's still a job I look forward to, mainly because of those three things!

finallyfound10
12-24-15, 04:01 PM
Welcome! Many of us here understand what you are going through. As many have said, research stimulants and consider it seriously.

That being said, I believe that there are jobs that we can't do well no matter the meds, supports, work arounds (it's really the same for NT's as well but it seems to happen more to us) as our brains and, at times, co-morbids don't allow us too.

It is really difficult finding a job where it all comes together for us. I've had those type of jobs and I've also had those that were bad fits (I'm in one now!**)

Can you access a job coach to figure out which would work for you or just keep trying different industries instead of administrative?

**For the record, I knew that this job, wasn't a good fit even before I took it BUT in the US, a new nurse pretty much has to do a at least 1 year of bedside nursing- it's like paying your dues almost.