View Full Version : Strong Compulsions/False Beliefs


BellaVita
12-17-15, 02:14 AM
I have a description of a bit different compulsion....

Well, maybe it isn't different, maybe just a variation.

Sometimes I get compulsions (as all people with OCD do) but the difference is it seems to be mixed in with a different type of fear....

I'm not going to go into detail about the main experience I'm thinking of, but I will give a different example to show what I mean.

Example but not the real example:
Compulsion: checking door to make sure no one is there
So I will keep checking it, and then I will begin to look away but then my brain will say "well I bet someone is there now" then I'm like "but I just checked" and then my brain says "but there is always a possibility." (And so I give in and check 10+ more times.)

Except my real compulsion that I'm thinking of is of something that many say isn't a possibility, that it shouldn't be a compulsion in the first place because it isn't possible.

There was a time where intellectually I knew that it wasn't, but now I actually somewhat believe my compulsions/intrusive thoughts and think that it could be.

And then I have the massive urge to check [thing] again because of the paranoid feeling that yes the bad thing is happening.

I feel quite agitated/irritable because of this.

Anyone else experience this?

peripatetic
12-17-15, 02:34 AM
If I understand what you're getting at, then, yes, this happens to me.

What I'm thinking of isn't a symptom of OCD or anxiety, per se, though I do obsess over these thoughts, which can be intrusive, and they cause a great deal of anxiety. They are technically "delusions" although I don't necessarily agree to that term and overall am not a fan of applying it to others' thoughts or my own.

I'm reluctant to post an example on the open forum, and by "reluctant" what I mean is "that's not happening". However, if you want one and you message me I'll give you one.

Whatever is happening, I hope you feel better soon xx

KarmanMonkey
01-07-16, 04:30 PM
It's not necessarily the belief that's a problem, but the effect it's having on you.

I don't like terms like delusions and paranoia either. In my opinion everyone has beliefs and thoughts that are different from my understanding of reality. At one point the person who thought the earth was round was the "delusional" one. I know someone who was "paranoid" that staff at their hospital was stealing their money. That is, until a nurse got arrested.

It matters less to me what your belief is and whether or not it's "real", because in the end it's less important than how it's affecting you. If you're not able to let the thought go and carry on with your life, or if you spend so much time trying to find people who share your belief and end up feeling isolated/lonely/disrespected, then that becomes a problem.

If I'm convinced a coworker doesn't like me and I am able to come to work and work effectively with the person anyway and do my job and have a good life at home, it's not a problem. If I dread showing up to work because of that person, and ruminate about my interactions with them after I go home, that's not so healthy.

Is the urge to check [the thing] causing problems? It sounds like the thoughts are becoming more intrusive, so maybe work with a therapist to try and reign in the thoughts enough to be able to keep them from becoming a problem.

Fuzzy12
01-07-16, 05:27 PM
I think knowing that a compulsion is illogical might not make it any less compulsive. As a personal, rather embarrassing example, many years ago when I was at the worst point in terms of mental health depression, overwhelming guilt, obsessive behaviour, fears, etc I had this thing of compulsively praying. I think it's called scrupulosity or something like that. The thing is... I'm am atheist, I don't believe in praying or that there even is anyone to listen to my prayers. However that made no difference to how strongly I felt the urge to pray. In those days if I didn't immediately fall to my knees and pray I'd get this terrible feeling that something terrible would happen..that my loved ones would be punished. Knowing that what I was doing was completely illogical actually just made me feel worse because it made me feel stupid. .and crazy. It took a conscious effort and quite a long time to untrain this urge. It was pretty horrible.

Anyway, I think at some point most ocd compulsions are known by the sufferers to be illogical. I dont think they do them because they think they are required but they do them because they can't help themselves. .. while fully knowing that they aren't logical or sensible. Maybe that's another reason why they cause so much anguish.

mctavish23
01-07-16, 11:22 PM
Would a video feed of the front door make a difference ?

Robert

KarmanMonkey
01-08-16, 11:27 AM
Would a video feed of the front door make a difference ?

Robert

If I had to guess, that would make satisfying the compulsion much less intrusive, but it's the relief felt by satisfying the compulsion that can sometimes reinforce the behaviour.

Keep in mind, too, that the OP used the door as an example to use for discussion, and that's not their specific issue.

dvdnvwls
01-08-16, 05:41 PM
If it was for the door, then the video feed would indeed make some sense, but unfortunately it makes sense in the same type of way as suggesting to an alcoholic that they make sure to keep a bottle on hand for emergencies.

BellaVita
01-09-16, 03:52 AM
First, I want to comment on this thread to tell you all that my compulsion that I didn't go into detail about in the OP has gotten MUCH better lately. Partly because I really really really used all of my effort to not "give in" to the compulsion, and partly because I'm not as stressed (I don't think) as I was when I wrote the OP.

I think knowing that a compulsion is illogical might not make it any less compulsive.

You've got that right.

As a personal, rather embarrassing example, many years ago when I was at the worst point in terms of mental health depression, overwhelming guilt, obsessive behaviour, fears, etc I had this thing of compulsively praying. I think it's called scrupulosity or something like that. The thing is... I'm am atheist, I don't believe in praying or that there even is anyone to listen to my prayers. However that made no difference to how strongly I felt the urge to pray. In those days if I didn't immediately fall to my knees and pray I'd get this terrible feeling that something terrible would happen..that my loved ones would be punished. Knowing that what I was doing was completely illogical actually just made me feel worse because it made me feel stupid. .and crazy. It took a conscious effort and quite a long time to untrain this urge. It was pretty horrible.

That sounds awful and terrorizing.

I thank you for writing about it in detail. I'm not glad you went through that, but your post brought me some comfort that I'm not the only one who does/goes through these types of things.

Anyway, I think at some point most ocd compulsions are known by the sufferers to be illogical. I dont think they do them because they think they are required but they do them because they can't help themselves. .. while fully knowing that they aren't logical or sensible. Maybe that's another reason why they cause so much anguish.

Yeah, I know most of my compulsions are illogical. I've thankfully gotten to the point where I know (for the most part) that the compulsion I had in my OP was over something that wasn't real and couldn't be happening, took a LONG time and effort for me to get to that but I'm doing much better now thankfully.

I think I have times where my compulsions are stronger and times when they are not so strong, I'm hoping that during this time they aren't so strong that I can train myself to absolutely NOT fall back into the trap of checking the thing over and over...I know in the future it will probably happen again, but at least I'm having some peace for now and know that it's possible for it to stop happening.

BellaVita
01-09-16, 03:54 AM
Would a video feed of the front door make a difference ?

Robert

Well, the checking the door thing was just an example and not the main thing I was talking about in the OP, but I thank you for your suggestion. :)

BellaVita
01-09-16, 03:56 AM
If I had to guess, that would make satisfying the compulsion much less intrusive, but it's the relief felt by satisfying the compulsion that can sometimes reinforce the behaviour.

Keep in mind, too, that the OP used the door as an example to use for discussion, and that's not their specific issue.

I think the video feed might also (just sticking with the example) cause me to then feel the urge to check and re-check the video feed....effectively switching out one compulsion for another.

midnightstar
01-09-16, 06:14 AM
I remember one compulsion I had (after my Dylan got rehomed) I used to run up and down the stairs because I convinced myself if I didn't Dylan would die. It took a long time of professional help to get rid of that compulsion - that was one compulsion that didn't want to get lost :o

BellaVita
01-09-16, 06:31 AM
I remember one compulsion I had (after my Dylan got rehomed) I used to run up and down the stairs because I convinced myself if I didn't Dylan would die. It took a long time of professional help to get rid of that compulsion - that was one compulsion that didn't want to get lost :o

:grouphug: