View Full Version : Yes, I am a woman. No, you don't get to throw that back in my face.


sarahsweets
12-17-15, 03:38 AM
I am a woman and I want to speak up for those of us who feel we must remain silent and hidden about our feelings. I can be emotional sometimes but I have a disorder or mental illness. Just because you do not like what I saying to you about my feelings doesnt mean you get to toss away what it is that I am feeling. A woman with a disorder is just like anyone else (or a man) with a disorder. It means that sometimes I have issues controlling how I express my feelings, or expressing them at all. It means that I dont always explain what makes me tick.

I can get mad at you for saying or doing certain things.....and I am allowed to feel this way. It doesnt meant that whatever it is I say is without merit. It doesnt mean that I have my period or that I am a man hater. It doesnt mean you get to treat me as insignificant.

It means that I have a mental illness or disorder that deserves equal understanding and compassion. Where is your empathy? I am not asking for sympathy, I dont need you to feel sorry for me. I do need you to try and identify not compare yourself with how I am feeling. Have you never felt the things that I feel?

When you have cried or thrown a temper tantrum, yelled screamed, spit and weeped, as anyone ignored or invalidated you because of your gender? Do you know what its like to let out eons of emotions and have it thrown back in your face, and told it all amounts to genetics and sex?

I would be willing to bet that has not happened to you.

As women we are taught to always be considerate of how everyone else is feeling even if that means we shove our own feelings and thoughts down into our core. We are told me must be cautious around men, protect their egos, be more understanding that they may not relate to our intense feelings. If I have a disorder, it is my impairments that make these things come out this way. It is not only related to my silly little wiles.

I wanted you to know that its ok if I feel this way and its not because I am female. I am working on it thank you very much. I am trying to remember that not everybody is in the right place all the time and that feelings are not facts.

" The older I get, the more I see how
women are described as having gone
mad, when what they've actually
become is knowledgeable and
powerful and f**king furious.'
- Sophie Heawood

peripatetic
12-17-15, 03:54 AM
Hey Sarah,

Did something happen to inspire your speaking out about this?


I definitely agree with what you're saying, despite not having some of the same experiences you describe. I don't know if it's because my father was the main parental figure/guidance in my life, but the idea that one gender should stifle feelings to please people of another gender sounds destructive and unhealthy. I hope others reaching this who've been instructed similarly will take your post to heart.

sarahsweets
12-17-15, 04:00 AM
Hey Sarah,

Did something happen to inspire your speaking out about this?


I definitely agree with what you're saying, despite not having some of the same experiences you describe. I don't know if it's because my father was the main parental figure/guidance in my life, but the idea that one gender should stifle feelings to please people of another gender sounds destructive and unhealthy. I hope others reaching this who've been instructed similarly will take your post to heart.

I guess a couple of posts around here have gotten my panties in a bunch and sometimes I react to the stereotyping and painting us with that wide brush.

peripatetic
12-17-15, 04:04 AM
Ah, ok.

I was afraid something or someone had been dismissive of you in your offline life--though I know, of course, that your partner/husband is wonderful. That makes sense and I definitely do think your points are good ones to make xx

KittyBottoms
12-17-15, 06:25 AM
I hear ya loud and clear. I've had it done to me and it's infuriating. Lotsa men don't like opinionated, outspoken, or angry women, well too feckin bad for them. We exist.

Clilback
12-17-15, 11:31 PM
Thank you. I've said some of these things to my husband and he doesn't get it. Has no idea what I'm talking about. We have a 12 year old daughter and I think he'll see it through her. Hope he doesn't(she doesn't experience it) but I'm not optimistic.

mctavish23
12-19-15, 01:00 AM
Sarah,

U Rock

U R Welcome :cool:

pelargonium
01-31-16, 10:16 AM
I want to join the No F's Given Society, please.

I have been banned from a UK ADHD forum just for arguing with a male moderator who tried to censor a discussion about how ADHD affects women. It was a very bland discussion about a recent article in NYMag. But just talking about being a woman was deemed sexist by him and when I challenged it I was banned and the thread closed so that no other women are allowed to discuss the matter either.

The world can be a crazy place and I am glad when other women are willing to stand up and be counted. :)

sarahsweets
01-31-16, 11:17 AM
I want to join the No F's Given Society, please.

I have been banned from a UK ADHD forum just for arguing with a male moderator who tried to censor a discussion about how ADHD affects women. It was a very bland discussion about a recent article in NYMag. But just talking about being a woman was deemed sexist by him and when I challenged it I was banned and the thread closed so that no other women are allowed to discuss the matter either.

The world can be a crazy place and I am glad when other women are willing to stand up and be counted. :)

We always have room in the no F's given society. We have a vice president now but treasurer, Secretary and membership is open!;)

pelargonium
01-31-16, 12:07 PM
Why, thank you! :)

I'll throw my hat in the ring for Entertainments Sec, and I offer some Annie and Aretha for your Sunday listening pleasure.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=drGx7JkFSp4

sarahsweets
01-31-16, 02:40 PM
Why, thank you! :)

I'll throw my hat in the ring for Entertainments Sec, and I offer some Annie and Aretha for your Sunday listening pleasure.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=drGx7JkFSp4

I second you! Ok, you are officially the entertainment coordinator/secretary/ committee or what ever title you pick. You can add to your signature if you want.;)

pelargonium
02-01-16, 03:35 PM
Hurrah! Thank you. :)