View Full Version : Does talking help you?


-brian-
12-26-15, 11:33 PM
Deppression is like an internal weight and latley its been getting worse. Ive been on meds but I will probably switch to another(if a dose increase fails), and so the journey continues. I know alot of people with deppression deal with thoughts of death (sometimes intrusive) and latley I have been struggling with ideatons that become worse depending on my day.

I don't think I would act on my feelings but im posting this because in a way I did and I feel the need to say it somewhere as even though I want to Im apprehensive about talking to family and freinds.(but Still want opinions and experiences)

The other day was tough and after a stressfull day decided to go for a walk. I was extremely emtional at the time and confused about why I feel like dying and if I even wanted or would go through with it, needless to say I decided to go for walk and challenge my thoughts. Clearly did not go through with any attempt but during the walk I shut my eyes while crossing the only busy street (there and back) and looked off a bridge judging it to be too small in my mind it only became a venture of thought as a one story bridge is just an attempt and im not crying for help in that way.


But there ls my problem in a small way its like I feel the need to prove im not gutless, that these feelings are real, and I clearly want to nothing to do with anything. In the end the only thing I learned was that knowing the fall wont kill is enough to stop me and walking across the roads with my eyes closed brought no fear only slight apprehension. The next day I slept in on and off and learned that it was christmass eve and it was not overwhelming but damn I was glad (at least for thos around me) that I did not make a more bold attempts

Don't get me wrong this is no suicide thread im not going to go do anythimg stupid as im stable right now and taking some steps of preventative measure on my own time. but im not talking about this any where else and I dont think ill ever truly express myself around others so here is where ill say that in a way I attempted while walking across the street and what ever the reason I still dont know why I feel the way I do. Anytime I share here it alleviates the intrusive factor of those thoughts so by sharing this here It will help me because i share with no one else.

Im trying to ease that weight off by sharing and even though im not yet fully understanding why I feel like I do sharing this somewhere makes its feel relevant. Does sharing help you? I am always hinting at the people arund me about my feelings but only feel more locked away when they dont get it until I come here and share where people relate or empathize which is somthing I think deppresed people seek but never truly receive.

Unmanagable
12-27-15, 12:59 AM
It helps greatly if I feel heard, feel understood, and feel felt. Which is a rarity among the ones I live with and few and far between everywhere else. Most especially the ones who were getting paid very well to listen to me. I agree that sharing here helps release the energy. I've been in a similar mind space and remain glad I'm still around, most days.

Little Missy
12-27-15, 09:13 AM
Sharing would help me immensely but I don't trust anyone enough to speak freely.

DJ Bill
12-27-15, 09:46 AM
In short, yes, it helps. Problem is , who do you talk to ?? A trustable and caring friend is a wonderful resource...and typing things out online is also helpful as you tend to get your thoughts organized and even see some patterns or issues you might not have seen before.

When you start to feel that way instead of isolating, reach out somewhere!

This from a guy who thought constantly about telephone poles or driving straight through stop signs over an embankment when I was younger and had no coping skills. I also used to spend weeks in bed listening to the television as watching it was too exhausting.

You can be anonymous online and talk about stuff like this in the right places. I wouldn't share what you shared on facebook or twitter however..:) There are depression groups, bipolar groups, and of course this place.

Hang in there! You've already started the path to a better life by posting and reaching out.

Unmanagable
12-27-15, 10:04 AM
Just thought I'd add this in hopes of it helping others who have experienced various forms of abuse in their lives and may be seeking a listening ear. The professionals I sought out that were approved by our insurance totally ignored PTSD symptoms even after being given specific information regarding the incidents.

If you've experienced sexual or domestic abuse within your lifetime, there are many cities with domestic abuse shelters who offer free counseling. The yellow pages generally have them listed.

I have found it to be the most supportive counseling environment I've ever participated in or observed, professionally and personally. (I worked as a residential dorm counselor/recreation assistant at a vocational rehab for 13 years) I can schedule appts. as often or as little as I feel I need them.

I've waited painfully for years in hopes of finally having loved ones understand and make sense of the pains I feel. However, I finally learned it isn't their place to reach those depths of understanding my stuff.

But it still would be nice to feel felt, heard, and understood by the ones we love, regardless. Reach out when you can. You never know who may learn how to understand you better, mainly self.

burger
12-27-15, 10:30 AM
A bit off topic but you could look into transcranial direct current stimulation (TDCS). It seems to work for depression and negative thoughts. Your thoughts are most likely a symptom of a physical problem. Hopefully your medications will work.

DJ Bill
12-27-15, 10:43 AM
A bit off topic but you could look into transcranial direct current stimulation (TDCS). It seems to work for depression and negative thoughts. Your thoughts are most likely a symptom of a physical problem. Hopefully your medications will work.


For some it has worked. For me it did not, and it actually increased my ADHD symptoms. Be careful! Some say it is not safe, and I tend to agree.

Abi
12-27-15, 10:45 AM
Sometimes, to some extent.

Greyhound1
12-27-15, 10:46 AM
Your thoughts are most likely a symptom of a physical problem. Hopefully your medications will work.

I am curious about your statement. Are you saying his depression and intrusive thoughts are caused by a physical problem?

I would consider it to be more of a chemical or hormone imbalance, perhaps.

burger
12-27-15, 12:37 PM
I am curious about your statement. Are you saying his depression and intrusive thoughts are caused by a physical problem?

I would consider it to be more of a chemical or hormone imbalance, perhaps.

Which would be a physical problem. Basically his body is not working correctly which is why he feels this way and has these thoughts. Him being on an ADD forum makes this even more likely since ADD, depression and negative thoughts seem to go hand in hand. Somewhere along the process my guess is that it will involve the prefrontal cortex not working properly. Once he finds the solution to his physical problem it should fix the other problems. In the meantime he should just remember that it's most likely just a physical problem that can be fixed.

Roundmouth
12-27-15, 06:31 PM
Talking about my feelings has never helped me the slightest bit. Never experienced being understood by anyone else. But it doesn't really bother me, what does bother me is people telling me I need to share my feelings. I don't need to, but if people insist, I lie and they're usually satisfied with that. When I'm happy people won't belive I am, and they recommend me seeking proffessional help for my deep depression, so I've learnt how to act normal.

midnightstar
12-27-15, 07:24 PM
I find it depends who I talk to, some people in real life have judged me for my feelings so I'm always hesitant about telling anyone anything of my feelings in real life whereas online (not facebook or twitter) in the right place (like this forum) talking to people can be very helpful :grouphug:

Greyhound1
12-27-15, 08:39 PM
Which would be a physical problem. Basically his body is not working correctly which is why he feels this way and has these thoughts. Him being on an ADD forum makes this even more likely since ADD, depression and negative thoughts seem to go hand in hand. Somewhere along the process my guess is that it will involve the prefrontal cortex not working properly. Once he finds the solution to his physical problem it should fix the other problems. In the meantime he should just remember that it's most likely just a physical problem that can be fixed.

Normally a mental illness in not referred to as a physical problem. Sure it has a physical basis in that a chemical imbalance is going on. However, It's not just a physical problem which can be fixed. There is no cure, only treatment.

If it's a physical problem which can be cured with today's technology then it wasn't truly ADHD to begin with.

aeon
12-27-15, 09:51 PM
Sharing would help me immensely but I don't trust anyone enough to speak freely.

This.

Talking about my feelings has never helped me the slightest bit. Never experienced being understood by anyone else. But it doesn't really bother me, what does bother me is people telling me I need to share my feelings. I don't need to, but if people insist, I lie and they're usually satisfied with that. When I'm happy people won't belive I am, and they recommend me seeking proffessional help for my deep depression, so I've learnt how to act normal.

And this.


Cheers,
Ian

BellaVita
12-27-15, 10:13 PM
Brian, I'm sorry to hear that you don't feel heard or understood.

Those are pretty much the worst feelings in the world.

Coming to these forums and talking about things, all sorts of things, greatly helps me.

Finding that one person I can trust IRL has helped me too. Being understood and feeling heard and listened to is the best thing that has ever happened in my life.

Maybe hinting about your feelings isn't working well - I for one do not get hints and maybe people in your family don't either.

It is important to talk to someone you trust, someone you know you are safe with.

If you don't have anyone like that in real life, I suggest to please keep coming here because the members here are really supportive and will "get it."

Yes, talking does help me. I do seem to require lots of talking (hours) until I start to feel better, so thankfully I have someone willing to listen to me.

Although sometimes I can just say a few words, know that I am being understood, receive love, and that is enough for my mood to improve quite a lot.

It is all about what you need in the moment.

blke22
12-27-15, 10:37 PM
Funny story, I have avoiding talking with a "therapist" when recommended by another care provider at times. Depending on objective of the conversation, it hasn't helped to talk at times and yet at times it has just with others without a formal title. In particular, I have similar concerns about being able to convey all that is going on with enough clarity/insight/context to those I speak with.

The funny, or "irony", here I am chatting with a bunch of people about similar concerns at times. If if helps, know your post rings true to me as well (some more distant past, some more recent.. like recent Christmas eve/day). Although this eve/day was partially to escape the exposure to friends and family, I do make both the choice to share/converse some things with them and some not (that you and others here may get to see at times). One thing I would suggest, be aware the option(s) to talk are there.

KarmanMonkey
01-08-16, 12:48 PM
Talking to the right person and with the right purpose helps. Peer support is becoming more commonplace in Canada these days, and you might be able to find a helpful group (or even one to one) near you. PM me with the city you're located in if you'd like me to help you find something in your neck of the woods. I was reluctant at first, but it was life changing to be in a room surrounded by people who have been through a similar hell and come out the other side, or even if they are still there, being able to help each other without shame or judgment.

There's a group in my region called "Skills for Safer Living" that is a peer group specific to helping each other cope with suicidal thoughts. Look it up on YouTube and you'll hear a number of testamonials.

Personally the way I recovered from depression was 10% finding the right medication, and 90% surrounding myself with the right people, and rebuilding my sense of worth and sense of purpose.

coffeesudoku
01-21-16, 12:25 AM
Sharing does help me out a lot. I have one friend that I'm really about to talk to about all the issues that I have and she always listens to what I have to say. So it's nice to have her because she helps to take some stress off.

coffeesudoku
01-23-16, 02:14 AM
It helps greatly if I feel heard, feel understood, and feel felt. Which is a rarity among the ones I live with and few and far between everywhere else. Most especially the ones who were getting paid very well to listen to me. I agree that sharing here helps release the energy. I've been in a similar mind space and remain glad I'm still around, most days.

I agree with you. I think that as long as you're being heard, then it makes you feel much better. I would suggest talking because it might just end up helping out in the long run.