View Full Version : Forever single with ADD


Sarah36
12-28-15, 07:18 PM
I have ADD and have always been single. I have had a good paying jobthat I cant stand and has currently driven me to be on stress leave for 2 weeks. I am a single mom but I feel like I have no hope of ever falling in love. I knew growing up that I would get married and have a couple kids. My son is the best thing that ever happened! I am training myself to realize at my age that being single is simply where life is going. Wonder if anyone else feels like this?

dvdnvwls
12-28-15, 07:29 PM
Are you perfectly happy to be single, or bitterly regretting it every day, or somewhere in between?

Sarah36
12-28-15, 07:35 PM
Pretty much regret it every day..I just cant get past it. I feel blessed for my son though and sort of feel I am failing him by not having a father in the home. But I have a hard time secretly when somone I know or work with is pregnant as I should be at that phase again in my life..married and expecting again.

Sarah36
12-28-15, 07:55 PM
I have been asked several times by my boss what the problem is as several co workers have told her I have seemed very sad for a while now at work. It is effecting everything

Socaljaxs
12-28-15, 09:14 PM
This may be a grass greener other side situation. I'm single and almost 32 years old. However, while yes it would be wonderful to share my life with another. I realize that until that happens I'm taking care of me right now and working in loving myself and being the best me possible.... My sister who is happily married and been so for almost 10 years with two children. Was telling her coworker how Amazing I have it that I live alone, can do nothing all day if I wish. Don't have to do for others all the time and can be selfish because I'm not attached to another person or with child that needs me.. So.. It's a grass greener thing. In my opinion.

It's not fun to be lonely but you have a son, and if until you find someone worthy enough for both you and your son. Enjoy this time with him and try to be there for you and take advantage of time time to be the best version of you possible

anonymouslyadd
12-29-15, 12:03 AM
Pretty much regret it every day..I just cant get past it. I feel blessed for my son though and sort of feel I am failing him by not having a father in the home. But I have a hard time secretly when somone I know or work with is pregnant as I should be at that phase again in my life..married and expecting again.
I hear you. I wish I was married with kids. I have neither.

Sarah36
12-29-15, 03:05 AM
Yea..Or at least I wish I was dating and..ya know. I guess the grass is intended to be this shade for a long time. I love every minute of time with my son but I never wanted to live like this. I guess I just cant accept how my life has turned out. I truly consider myself middle age at 36 because people who unhappily live alone tend not to live as long. Ive been on dexedrine and antidepressants for as long as I can remember...

Roundmouth
12-29-15, 05:06 PM
I believe I've fully accepted never again being emotionally or physically close to another human. Can't say I'm either happy nor sad about, it's just the way it is.

Sarah36
12-30-15, 06:36 PM
What made you decide that

Roundmouth
12-30-15, 07:45 PM
Who - me? Decide what? I haven't really decided anything. I think.

Sarah36
12-30-15, 10:17 PM
I know I will never be married or have another child and it kills me every day.

Poe's Imp
01-01-16, 07:25 AM
I struggled with this for a long time. I was always getting told how attractive I was but found it almost impossible to do any attracting (this is twenty years ago). I found my wife online through a 'nature lovers' kind of website. Yet things have not really worked out in may ways and I often long to be single. What stops me doing anything is (just about) remembering how miserable I used to get being single.
In your case I wonder if your work-life balance is not working. Your good job and your son sound like they might take up a lot of your time, leaving little free to pursue anything in a connected way. I also wonder if you've retreated into a shell to cope with how things have turned out. Do you get involved in your community in any way or in a particular interest where you might meet like-minded people? Another question might be: are you looking for something very serious to 'save' you or something a little more casual to 'complete' your life? (Apologies for not finding the right terms) One of my problems is that my wife saw me initially as someone who would save her, not thinking that I might have many issues to cope with as well. So I've gone from saviour to becoming part of her unresolved problems. I suppose I am at fault on some level but expectations are so important when starting something.
Also if you have a good job, are you looking for a partner within the same social group or would dating someone like a manual worker be a real no-no?
One thing about relationships is how quickly they can happen...when you say your situation is killing you every day, you might have to prepare to be unkilled very quickly and cope with that fact. Handling it might be tricky. If there's anything that you could do to help yourself right now, I would say try to really cope with this everyday feeling as it may be very important in how you come across to other people.
Lastly, I really do sympathise with your situation. I hate how lonely modern life can make good people. Why is it so *******ed difficult??!!!!

Little Missy
01-01-16, 07:28 AM
I know I will never be married or have another child and it kills me every day.

You can choose to feel differently. :)

Fuzzy12
01-01-16, 09:42 AM
Why do you think you'll never date again?

Sarah36
01-05-16, 07:36 PM
Because I have zero luck with dating sites and there is no one around me that I would consider. I want to change how I feel but depression sems to have tight grips. I want to get married and be pregnant again!

Unmanagable
01-05-16, 10:27 PM
Where would you have to be to find someone you would consider? Are there ANY activities locally that you think would attract a mind set that you'd like to interact with?

I'm not single, but if I were, I'd check out the permaculture happenings, wellness workshops, crafty gigs, music venues sans the bars, various enrichment workshops that are low to no cost, etc. I find the coolest peeps to chat with in those kinds of places. Happy seeking, and hopefully finding. :)

Sarah36
01-05-16, 10:30 PM
Yea...thats my problem...im not involved in anything at all.

Unmanagable
01-05-16, 10:39 PM
Sounds like the stress from work is overshadowing everything else at the moment, increasing the difficulty in getting out of the depressive ditches. Feels like being stuck in quicksand. Any luck in finding stress relief, and/or any chances of the stressors smoothing out at work?

coffeesudoku
01-21-16, 12:23 AM
I just try and think positively because that's the only thing that I can do. I know that people don't like to be around others who are always sad, so I try to make the most out of each day, and that's the only thing that I can do.

roxy1983
05-25-16, 05:13 AM
Never say never! Over here in Australia there is a website called meetup.com, it's like meet ups with new people in your local area and hobby based. Everyone is in the same boat which evens the playing field. Pick a group based around things you are interested in, some just have an age range. Everything from movies, to dinner, outings etc.

Shamindo
06-05-16, 10:31 PM
I honestly think Dating sites are the worst for people with ADHD. There's no norm on there. I've given up on Online dating. As well, it's addictive and since we have an easier time getting addicted to things like screen time, it's just something I choose to avoid all together.
I have a really hard time with 1) feeling motivated to flirt with someone 2) regulating my emotions once I'm attracted to someone and 3) staying interested past 3 months. I've also been single most my life. i have been married, though I tend to think I will never meet someone again that I had loved as much as my ex. It's embarressing for me because I am attractive and so people expect me to be in a relationship. People are always asking me WHEN WHEN WHY? and I'm like...er...leave me alone?

sarahsweets
06-06-16, 04:16 AM
I give all you guys props for trying to date at all. I have been married for a long time and am very lucky. I cant imagine how to date at all like you are supposed to now.