Its weird how the human memory can forget physical pain. You can remember the pain as just pain, but we block out what it truely felt like. This allows us to follow through in life without being in constant fear of injury. I only wish my mind could cast out the pain of heartache. Its such a delicate organ that is vital in our existance. Beating the life blood of our bodies. How did it get so sensitive to our emotions? Emotions in life aren't easily as cured as physical pain, but hurt much worse.

I sit wondering as my heart pours with sorrow and confusion. a confusion that seems to roll as the wind over a winding meadow. Sometimes I will feel as good as can be, then turn a corner and walk into a wall. Wandering around as a blind person does on a bright sunny day. Walking around as time slips further and further away. for time is the only constant we have no choice but to follow.

Sometimes choices are made for us that we don't understand. Maybe a relationship, a job, or simply that things didn't work out as anticipated. The choices are hard to take in stride. We are to busy trying to satisfy others and neglect ourselves. Trying to find out who the person we truly are is the toughest obstacle to over come. Most won't let you inside to see what really makes them tick. Most keep everything locked inside themselves with locks bound so tight for they can't see inside themselves.

I have done this myself for years, putting up walls that people can't get into. Trying to be accepted. Have you ever tried to be accepted and went with the flow of what you knew wasn't for you? Acceptance can be a misguided plee for help. But can people really help that you need to impress or change who you are just for acceptance? You really never know when or if you are accepted until all is to late. We live with this everyday, meeting new people and tyring to forge ourselve into what we want to be, or what we want people to think we are.

I have found a few keys to the lock wrapped around my heart and will continue to search until I have found them all. Unfortunatley I have a hard time remebering where I put my keys, my wallet, sometimes even my soul. I try not to walk around like a lost soul on the horizon waiting for the sun to set. But I bet it would be beautiful. I look into myself for answers only I can answer. I have asked many others but all I get is silence. The only good thing about silence is that without words you can't harm anyone. Words can pierce faster than a sword and are impossible to avoid.

I ask of you. If you happen to see any spare keys lying around that don't belong to you, pass them on. They just may be the key for someones heart that has been searching endlessly. Share your tails with others so they know they are not alone in the desparate search for themselves. I encourage you call someone whom you haven't talked in a while, stop at someone's house whom you know is lonely, forgive someone whom you thought was unforgivable. If we wait to long to help each other time will surley catch up with us. Just remember, everytime you open yourself to someone, that is one less key they have to find to open their soul.