View Full Version : Insight on ADHD boyfriend leaving?

12-30-15, 02:13 AM
Hi beauties,

I think my previous 2 threads were way to big to read. (I know I wouldn't have gotten through them.)

I will put a small summary of it here as I would like some opinions and support.

My boyfriend broke up with me 7 days ago and went to Brazil the next day for Xmas with his family and said he doesn't even want to come back. He is depressed and said he doesn't have a life in the UK anymore since we didn't work out. He said many hurtful things such as that with me he feels like he has a dominator, he lost himself, he feels like a slave, he needs space to find himself without the pressure of the relationship. The more I pushed the more he retreated which led to loads of fights. 10 months in total and 3 last months of fighting. We both cried and said goodbye which was heart breaking for me.
The first 7 months were really gorgeous and we were in love planning for the future and before I know it he might not even come back to the UK.

Since being there he has been texting everyday wanting to know how I am what I am doing and was even sending photos from him at the beach with his friends as he would when we were together. Do you think he is in denial? It is as if he has not realised what he has done or maybe he is that amazing that he is over me in 7 days. I really want him to come back but I am so scared that he wont :(

Should I stop talking to him? Go no contact? Do you think that will push him further away? Do you think him saying that he doesn't even want to come back and that he might not was just on impulse?

I am replying to his texts but with caution and nothing too warm or encouraging. What would you suggest I go about this?

THANK YOU for reading my post xxx

12-30-15, 07:00 AM
Sending you huge huge hugs, Maritsou. I'm sorry you are going through this heartbreak.

If you are asking for advice, I'm not a fan of 'strategy' in personal relationships. I prefer honesty.

Only problem is, when you are heartbroken and in terrible pain you may become overly focused on him and what he is doing now..... so don't overwhelm him with contact, but stay in touch if that feels natural to you.

Best approach would be to take care of you and your broken heart and get your own feet back under you. Drink LOTS of water, nourish yourself (extra demands on your vitamin stores when you're in grief).... plenty of sleep, fresh air, stock up on tissues and cry it out.

When you find yourself going over and over the story in your head, stop and breathe deeply. Take a break from analysing and replaying what happened. ...just a little break...

Sending you huge hugs. I'm sorry this happened at Christmas time. Hope you have some friends available in your offline life :grouphug:

12-31-15, 04:34 AM
This is just my opinion: stop contact for now because it hurts you. He broke up with you and he has no business asking what you are up to and is insensitive for sending you pics of him having a good time. He knows what he is doing and either he doesnt care or he wants to string you along.