View Full Version : Stressed, depressed or just pregnant & tired??


Fuzzy12
01-04-16, 03:20 PM
You wouldn't believe it with all the doomsday posts I've been making recently but I'm actually pregnant. It's still very early days so I'm not sure if it's really appropriate to talk about it but what the hell...

Anyway, I'm not doing so great. Surprisingly, I'm not freaking out or feeling as guilty or conflicted about being pregnant as I'd expected but I'm just feeling completely devoid of energy. I'm not physically tired though even just lifting a finger seems like a huge effort. Or thinking a thought. I don't know. I'm just feeling blah. Down.

I am a bit stressed about keeping my little one somehow alive, which seems to be mission impossible in the first trimester according to certain websites and I'm a bit worried about the family situation but more than anything this fatigue is just overwhelming. I feel so drained. I just want to sleep all the time but I can't with the nausea and all.

I shouldn't be complaining. I know I'm super lucky and I'm happy to be pregnant. I'm just confused about what's going on. Apparently, pregnancy depression is fairly common as is extreme tiredness in the first trimester. I don't know. Maybe I should just wait and see. Hopefully it will pass. Does it pass? Will it get worse? Does anyone have any experience of this???

BellaVita
01-04-16, 03:34 PM
Congratulations Fuzzy!

I've read up on this in the past because I was interested, and from what I've read the first trimester is awful.

Tiredness, mood swings, wanting to puke your guts out....

I don't know much about pregnancy depression, but I would keep an eye on it.

From what I've read online, it does(early pregnancy symptoms) pass and gets better starting around the second trimester. Lots of people just have to wait it out. Sleep lots. Go super super easy on yourself.

And I've read the second trimester is much easier than the first.

All of what you're feeling (maybe besides the depression part?) sounds fairly normal to me, but if it is of concern I would go see your doctor and they can provide medical advice.

midnightstar
01-04-16, 04:11 PM
Congrats Fuzzy :grouphug:

stef
01-04-16, 04:52 PM
OMG!!!!!!!
yes i remember being exhausted now that you mention it. i thought it was because i was overwhelmed ( happy but scared) but then maybe not. also i cried often. and then ithat part went away along with the morning sickness and i felt hungry always, wonderful, like a healthy tired and strangely focused. so wishing you the same, and congratulations

Lunacie
01-04-16, 05:43 PM
First trimester, I would fall asleep every time I sat down for more than 5 minutes ... unless I was puking.

Second trimester, I rode my bicycle all over town, ran up and down the stairs to our apartment, sewed baby clothes, worked in a restaurant, went bowling.

Third trimester, all the above and took lovely afternoon naps interrupted by the need to pee, everything interrupted by the need to pee.

People teased me that I'd go into labour while riding my bicycle and give birth beside the road. I said that was fine because I had a basket on the bike to put the baby into. ;)

My daughter had some depression while pregnant because she'd had a miscarriage a few months before.

Fuzzy12
01-04-16, 05:52 PM
Thanks guys. So did you feel down and listless as well?. I've read that the second trimester is a lot better. So maybe it's just the pregnancy then. I'm also not able to eat a lot, which probably isn't helping my energy levels. I was a bit worried that I might be using the tiredness as an excuse to not do anything or that if it's depression it might not go away on its own.

I need to stop stressing. Not good for the baby. :o

I wish I could snap out of this funk. :rolleyes: seriously, all these months my brain held up like a trooper and now it's giving up on me. :mad:

Fuzzy12
01-04-16, 06:02 PM
I've finally gone to bed and I'm so relieved. :lol:

I dread having to wake up early tomorrow and then it's back to work. I'm totally snowed under with work as well though maybe it will be good to get out of the house without the opportunity to mope about.

Lunacie
01-04-16, 06:16 PM
I forgot to say, congratulations! And give it some time. If you don't start feeling better in a week or two, check with the doctor.

willow129
01-04-16, 06:23 PM
YOU'RE PREGNANT!!!!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGHHHH!
:grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:

Fuzzy12
01-04-16, 06:25 PM
Um...Yeah :D

willow129
01-04-16, 06:25 PM
also my sister said the first trimester sucked too and it was better after that but then she was kinda ready to be done hahahaha

Hang in there!!! :) We're here to cheer you on, for sure.

Unmanagable
01-04-16, 07:10 PM
Yay!!! Another little to spoil rotten. :) Congratulations to you and your family. May you find so much joy, and may your body take it easy on you during the hormonal roller coasters and such. Hang on tight!!! It's gonna be one heck of a ride. Celebrate daily by napping and nurturing self as much as you wish. Double the nurture, share the worries.

acdc01
01-05-16, 02:19 AM
Congratulations Fuzzy!!!!

Socaljaxs
01-05-16, 03:08 AM
:grouphug::D congrats fuzzy! Yes first trimester extreme fatigue is common and normal. Wanting to sleep often does pass! Hang in there before you know it 40 weeks will pass

Fuzzy12
01-06-16, 11:33 AM
Back in bed for the second time today. My mood has improved a bit but the tiredness is still there. Well, I'm still not sure if I'm actually tired or just using this as an excuse for my laziness. :scratch: maybe I need to stick it out rather than jumping into bed all the time. I've got so much to do. Dead lines tomorrow. I can't afford to sleep so much. :scratch:

Lunacie
01-06-16, 11:57 AM
Back in bed for the second time today. My mood has improved a bit but the tiredness is still there. Well, I'm still not sure if I'm actually tired or just using this as an excuse for my laziness. :scratch: maybe I need to stick it out rather than jumping into bed all the time. I've got so much to do. Dead lines tomorrow. I can't afford to sleep so much. :scratch:

Fuzzy, your hormones are changing, your body is changing. Please don't feel guilty if you feel different.

Fuzzy12
01-06-16, 12:30 PM
Thanks guys. All of you. You are my light!!!! :grouphug:

midnightstar
01-06-16, 04:01 PM
Thanks guys. All of you. You are my light!!!! :grouphug:

We're all so happy for our wonderful Fuzzy :grouphug:

Luvmybully
01-06-16, 06:31 PM
FUZZY!!! OMGGGGGG!!!! CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!

How WONDERFUL!!

And yes, 1st trimester is rough. Emotionally and physically. Hopefully you'll be one of those that gets better, but I was sick for all 9 months. Uggg.....

So worth it though!

I am just so HAPPY for you!

sarahsweets
01-06-16, 07:31 PM
Pregnancy brain is a real thing. By the second trimester I was on cloud nine and glowing. Then comes the super belly part.

finallyfound10
01-06-16, 07:36 PM
Congrats, Fuzzy!!!!

Little Missy
01-06-16, 09:48 PM
A Little Stranger is on the way! :)

Andi
01-06-16, 10:13 PM
Congrats...so happy for you.

Both kids I started out really sick. I thought I had a virus I threw up so much and I just felt like death. I had no idea I was pregnant until the "illness" just kept going.

The oldest I still had morning nausea after the first trimester and if I didn't have a cracker before my feet hit the floor I was toast. Despite this, like Sarah said...I too glowed and felt great for the rest of the pregnancy. Even when he kicked my bladder, which was often. Key here, you think you get away from wearing pads...no such luck for me.

My daughter I was deathly ill the entire time. My gallbladder was inflamed and she used it as a punching bag so right up until she was born I was in pain and tossing cookies.

But as Bully said...it was all worth it. Much luck and happiness to you :)

Fuzzy12
01-11-16, 12:09 PM
I'm still wearing pads too. Mainly so that I'll notice immediately if I start bleeding. :(

I feel super guilty for being so negative and down. I should be happy, right? I should count my lucky stars and thank the universe. I wish I could stop thinking about how miserable I am. I need to practice not thinking about just me all the time. :(

My poor little baby. I just wish I could do a better job of this. She deserves better. :(

Not that the guilt makes anything better. Now I feel guilty about feeling guilty. :lol: :rolleyes: :doh:

The good news is that at least finally I really don't crave smoking anymore :rolleyes:

Unmanagable
01-11-16, 12:29 PM
Remember, dear fuzzy, your cells are listening to everything you say about you, along with your precious little fuzzling, who can pick up on those vibrations and tones echoing off those cells.

Try to speak more kindly and lovingly about yourself so he/she can hear and absorb beautiful music vs. ongoing sorrowful tones of self-loathing. Hormonal hell salad being served up during this time doesn't help clear the mind space any, that's for damn sure. lol

Hoping you feel big love and feel greatly supported in this new life adventure. It's more than okay to be overwhelmed and deal with it as best you can. Don't let anyone ever make you think otherwise, especially self. I remain in awe of anyone who embarks on the adventures of parenting. Unsung heroes in many forms. (((Hugs)))

stef
01-11-16, 01:09 PM
The only thing you can do for a baby, now, is strictly follow any recommendationsfrom your doctor (vitamins, diet etc; )

Otherwise just be kind to yourself and get the rest you need and deserve. Eat healthy foods and if you don't have much appetite that is completely normal, eat what you can. (I think I lived strictly on rice krispies for 2 weeks.)

I really don't think any woman in the world, no matter how much they desire and expect and are totally happy with the idea of having a baby, and may come from a large family and taken care of others' babies, etc. is ACTUALLY prepared when it really happens to you, your body, your hormones.

Lunacie
01-11-16, 01:25 PM
I'm still wearing pads too. Mainly so that I'll notice immediately if I start bleeding. :(

I feel super guilty for being so negative and down. I should be happy, right? I should count my lucky stars and thank the universe. I wish I could stop thinking about how miserable I am. I need to practice not thinking about just me all the time. :(

My poor little baby. I just wish I could do a better job of this. She deserves better. :(

Not that the guilt makes anything better. Now I feel guilty about feeling guilty. :lol: :rolleyes: :doh:

The good news is that at least finally I really don't crave smoking anymore :rolleyes:

I totally understand being anxious about something that's happening for the first time.

But spotting is not unusual during pregnancy.

I totally 'knew' I was pregnant by two weeks and yet I had what seemed like light periods 2 or 3 times.

That's not unusual and has fooled some women into thinking they weren't pregnant.

Luvmybully
01-11-16, 01:46 PM
I'm still wearing pads too. Mainly so that I'll notice immediately if I start bleeding. :(

I feel super guilty for being so negative and down. I should be happy, right? I should count my lucky stars and thank the universe. I wish I could stop thinking about how miserable I am. I need to practice not thinking about just me all the time. :(

My poor little baby. I just wish I could do a better job of this. She deserves better. :(

Not that the guilt makes anything better. Now I feel guilty about feeling guilty. :lol: :rolleyes: :doh:

The good news is that at least finally I really don't crave smoking anymore :rolleyes:

Fuzzy, there is NOTHING even remotely enjoyable about feeling sick, tired, and miserable all day long.

Seriously. This is not about your child AT ALL. You ARE feeling these yucky physical symptoms. And it's OK to not find it very fun.

YOU deserve to think of yourself. You really do.

:grouphug:

Luvmybully
01-11-16, 03:25 PM
Also Fuzzy, it's too late for me to edit my post, but I did want to tell you this:

There were times during all 3 of my pregnancies where I downright disliked my unborn yungins, because of how awful I felt.

And a few times after they were born too.

We are human, we have feelings and emotions, and the not so pleasant ones do not make us bad humans.

willow129
01-11-16, 06:30 PM
Awww I so wish I could give you a big hug Fuzzy!!!

I was just staying with a friend this weekend who is pregnant and still feeling ill after her first trimester, I think it's a real thing you're going through, not just imagining it!! She said during the first trimester she actually arranged to be able to take sick days every Wednesday so that she could sleep. She is also a teacher. She said that after 2 days in a row of teaching, she would have to go to sleep at like 6 because she was SOOO tired.

So I think, SLEEP BABY SLEEP. :)
So happy for you!! :D :D

Also my friend is a vegetarian, so the process of getting enough protein to build another human being is like WOW. Lots of tofu ha! It's like everyone of her meals has to be solid protein lol. Anyways, I just hadn't thought about that before.

Be good to yourself, lots of people love you, and we want you to feel rested and loved :) try not to worry about the other stuff too much!!! :D :D

Delphine
01-11-16, 06:43 PM
I can't believe I missed this!!! (I miss so many great posts!)

Delighted for you. Thrilled to bits!!!! Yes, it's normal to feel wiped these days.

Every phase has its own joys and it's own tough bits.

BUT..... so thrilled for you that you're pregnant!!!! How exciting is that? :grouphug:

Fuzzy12
01-15-16, 06:11 PM
Thanks delphine. That's what worries me a bit. I'm not excited at all. I'm either busy being miserable or I'm busy being scared of the future though it's the former really. I just don't want to think of anything right now.

I'm not sure if this is keeping me from doing everything to make my baby as healthy as possible. That's all i should be focussing on but im not able to get over my aversions. I'm trying to eat enough and thankfully I'm not craving junk but I'm not eating a large variety of food. Mainly rice and lots of fruits. Hardly any proteins (willow I'm vegetarian too) though I've started drinking a glass of milk every day. I'm slightly repulsed by water, I don't want to drink too much juice, not allowed to drink herbal or caffeinated teas so I'm a bit dehydrated I think. I'm not sure what I'll eat once my parents leave. Right now my mom is cooking and I tell her every day what I feel like eating. She's put lots of stuff in the freezer for me but strangely I'm craving only fresh food. Once it's a day old or so I develop an aversion to it. I'm becoming extremely fussy and weird. :eek::doh:

I'm worried that once my parents leave I'll just eat pot noodles. :rolleyes:

I'm also not exercising. I'm happy if I manage to stay up for a decent part of the day. I just try to go for little walks at work.

I don't know why I'm so wehleidig..I don't know the English word. ...snivelling? Whiny? Complaining? I'm normally not too bad with putting up with pain but I've always absolutely hated nausea. It's not even that bad..I'm not even throwing up or anything but it's just constant. I knew the nausea would be bad but I honestly expected to be so happy and excited that it wouldn't bother me so much.

I wish I could take some time of work but there's no point. If I don't do my work now I'll just have to more later and my deadlines are coming crashing down on me again. I'm not able to think so I'm trying to do stuff that doesn't require much thinking but I've run out of that.. :lol:

I hope I'll feel a bit fitter in a few weeks. Sorry for the rant. Always helps though. :)

stef
01-15-16, 06:17 PM
fuzzy that is exactly, absolutely how i felt :grouphug:
that faded and i had 4 months of feeling amazing! hope you get that same thing.

Luvmybully
01-15-16, 06:42 PM
Fuzzy, Sea Bands work great for nausea!

I wear them when I fly. I was absolutely amazed. I can actually READ, on an airplane, without feeling like I am about to vomit.

Just have to make sure you put them on in the right place.

http://www.webmd.com/baby/features/morning-sickness-misery?page=2

Fuzzy12
01-15-16, 07:17 PM
Thanks stef. Did it keep you from eating as well as possible too??? Do I need to force myself more.

Bully thanks for the reminder. I actually have some anti nausea bands at home that I use for long car journeys as I've always had a problem with motion sickness. I'll see if I can find them tomorrow.

BellaVita
01-15-16, 07:29 PM
Fuzzy - have you tried watching YouTube videos on pregnancy and pregnancy vlogs? (When people upload week-by-week updates about their symptoms, how they're managing etc.)

I love watching them for fun, even though I'm not planning on getting pregnant any time soon.

I bet in some way they could be comforting because you could see what each week is like and that what you are experiencing is normal.

stef
01-15-16, 07:29 PM
i wasnt super nauseated but nothing sounded good. i didnt think about it too much though i just tried to eat somewhat healthily'. once my appetite came back though i really made an efforr not to have junk food., really butl i lived near a bakery/convenience store they had little bags of day old cookies..

Little Missy
01-15-16, 10:08 PM
I remember eating turkey BLT's every day on sourdough bread for months.

stef
01-16-16, 09:08 AM
chocolate milk, every day!

sarahsweets
01-16-16, 11:58 AM
Fuzzy- dont worry about any of this. There have been plenty of women who have been less healthy overall and eaten crap for their whole pregnancy and had beautiful healthy babies. We live in a society that thinks that pregnancy, which has been a natural process for women forever now, needs to be read about, watched about, micromanaged, feared, processed, talked about, compared, and an overwhelming process that requires rigidity and planning. I have three kids. The first one, I read some books but we were too poor for me to participate in half the stuff we were advised to do. We went to a childbirthing class and once I was in labor all the crap I learned went out the window. We still ran our own show. My son was a pretty standard birth. No problems. The second I was a pregancy nazi and did everything by the book. I ended up gaining more weight than the first one and had the same kind of pregnancy and delivery as the first. With my third I was chasing around a toddler and second grader, lost some weight and took my bipolar medication and had a hard time giving up smoking completely like I did with the first two. I was in mild labor for like 2 days and when I went to the hospital my husband almost missed the birth she was so quick. All three of my kids were natural drug free vaginal deliveries. None of the horror storied I had heard were true and all they did to me was make me afraid and doubt my own capabilities as a woman.

The point is, you can plan and manage all you want. You can worry and fret and try to do everything right but none of it matters. It will happen the way it will happen and you can only do so much to make any sort of difference.
There are the obvious things, no smoking, drinking, eating well. But anything above that has a minor effect on the overall process. Our bodies will know what to do.
My advice:
Pick two books or videos or whatever to read about it. Then forget the rest and try not to worry. Let nature happen.
BTW pregnancy brain is a real thing. The first trimester sucks but the second is magical. When people talk about a pregnant woman glowing she is usually in her second trimester.
You dont have to listen to me, its just my experience.

Fuzzy12
01-17-16, 05:18 AM
I barely want to live myself. It's insanity to purposefully bring a child into this world. I knew that and i still did it. Out of pure selfishness. Now I have to see it through though. Now it's my responsibility. All the pain and suffering that I can't protect her from. All the insanity. I've never been able to take care of anyone. Protect anyone from anything. My track record stinks.

I need to get a grip but not today. Today I just want to wallow in bed for as long as I can. It's the only thing I can really do. It's the only thing I know to do. I'm not strong enough for this ****.

Fuzzy12
01-17-16, 11:10 AM
Snow, sheep, hills, lakes, squirrels, blue skies and sunshine

sarahsweets
01-18-16, 09:20 AM
I barely want to live myself. It's insanity to purposefully bring a child into this world. I knew that and i still did it. Out of pure selfishness. Now I have to see it through though. Now it's my responsibility. All the pain and suffering that I can't protect her from. All the insanity. I've never been able to take care of anyone. Protect anyone from anything. My track record stinks.

I need to get a grip but not today. Today I just want to wallow in bed for as long as I can. It's the only thing I can really do. It's the only thing I know to do. I'm not strong enough for this ****.

Well I can see why you feel that way but to be blunt, you have to knock it off. You have no idea how much stress can impact a child. When I was pregnant with my son, I was 20, newly married, in school, working and poor. Hubby and I had to learn to live together, be married and put food on the table. I was very stressed. I sometimes wonder if it didnt contribute to my sons anxiety or adhd issues. Not like its the reason for them but there has to be something that happens when the mother is stressed throughout her pregnancy.

Fuzzy12
01-18-16, 09:31 AM
Well I can see why you feel that way but to be blunt, you have to knock it off. You have no idea how much stress can impact a child. When I was pregnant with my son, I was 20, newly married, in school, working and poor. Hubby and I had to learn to live together, be married and put food on the table. I was very stressed. I sometimes wonder if it didnt contribute to my sons anxiety or adhd issues. Not like its the reason for them but there has to be something that happens when the mother is stressed throughout her pregnancy.

Actually, I do have an idea. I've been reading up on the effects of depression on the fetus. Not pretty. Low birth weight, premature labour, etc.. apart from being more vulnerable to stress and anxiety in later life. :(