Sunday our landlord told us we had 30 days(We are tenants at will) to move out of the house we have rented from her for the past 13 years. :eek: Her son got married a couple weeks ago and they're giving him the house.

There aren't many places in my area that fit what I need. I fear that we'll have to move into a hotel room with our 2 kids, 3 cats and 2 rats.

I'm packing,talking to people on the phone, looking at apartments, working and doing my best not to break down in front of the kids.

Boxes,boxes and more boxes of stuff, I can't find anything and I'm feeling so out of control. I'm short tempered, spacey, not eating, can't sleep without help, worsening memory troubles. I'm also having horrid thoughts, I'm shaky, nervous like, I have an awful feeling of dread.

I'm terrified, I don't think I can handle this !

That's a long time to be in a home, I'd be quite a bit flustered to...but it's a circumstance one doesn't have any control over. Fortunately, there are choices you are making that will help the transition go smother. In taking the actions you've described, you've chosen to be a heroic figure in your own life and that of your families. If you'd posted without taking steps, and succumbed to being shaky and nervous...that would be tragic.

From what I'm seeing you're working toward the goal of peace over chaos.

Change can be scary at first, but it also opens up new possibilities...and a chance for adventure. It's not what happens in life that matters, it's how we chose to respond. Having the answers, is never really quite as important as knowing the right questions to ask.

You're doing all of the above! I feel like things will turn out just fine.

aww sorry to hear this ... were in mass are you looking? prolly in the same town so the kids can stay in school? .. are you willing to look else where?

sorry to hear that Mom. Moving is so hard esp with children.
dont be afraid to show your feeling to the children or talk about them.
rthey are probally having feeling of their own too. It feel better to get that out.

The same thing happened to Doug and I. We stayed in a motel for two weeks until we found a house that suited our needs. My advice don't settle would it really be a bad thing to have a swimming pool outside your door?

Hi Lady!

Don't think I am trivializing your dilemma. But one thing you can do is hang a sign in your kitchen or on a post it on your steering wheel...anywhere to become a mantra. "AND THIS TOO SHALL PASS".
Because it is true and You knOw it iS ...especially if you take a look at other past crises in your life.

Breathe and try to focus beyond the grief of having to be uprooted from your environment. Look at this move as an adventure and time of renewal and spreading your wings. This is what I wish for you.

When I was a teen, our family moved just to the neighborhood around the corner. I was so uprooted and desconnected with my environment even though I did not have to change schools or friends.

I sat in the middle of my bed not knowing which end was up and feeling afraid of the change and the disorganized surroundings. I did this for weeks. I needed adjustment time. You will too, so make sure you are expecting to feel that way.

I know a little about your particular kind of stress also because my husband and I had a similar experience..the landlord's family member wanted to live in the house and we were asked to leave our "love nest" on short notice ...the home that we had put together as a young coulple.

Yes a nightmare.....but we got through it and were all the better. DOn't we resist change??

Why don't you try to delegate some of the packing and stuff to your kids. The things won't be done perfectly, but I'll bet they would have some positive feeling that they are under control and an important part of the moving experience...they may be having some of their own worries over the move too.

A hotel or a "less than" apartment could be a temporary adventure for the kids. We rented a storage space for 90% of our belongings and kept out just the necessities. We didn't even take all of our stuff into the new crappy apartment we had to stay in....it was a brief stay in comparison to a lifetime and now we have a place we are happy with.

This will PASS, girlfriend:) You can do it and will survive.
If this is a nightmare, I am here to tell you that you will wake up :)

hugs to you!
Annie

You're in a situation that anybody would feel stressed in. Take deep breaths and keep moving. The fear of the bottom falling out is worse than if it actually does. Your instincts will safely guide you. If you feel trapped and there's nowhere to turn, it's only temporary. "Patience til the stream clears".

Something doesn't seem right about only having one month to clear out. Is that legal? I'm not sure what "tenants at will" means, but I think you have certain rights regardless of whether you have a lease, especially if there are children involved. Possesion is 9/10ths of the law or something like that. You can take the gloves off with that landlord. One months notice is not very friendly. You might consider contacting social services. Somebody may have some ideas. I think it might be worth looking into.

Try to relax. You're not going to become a baglady. You're going to work through this, and you're going to develope a lot of confidence because you did. Then you'll realize that you can handle anything. Because you can.

OH god I am so sorry to hear this.

The same thing happened to Doug and I. We stayed in a motel for two weeks until we found a house that suited our needs. My advice don't settle would it really be a bad thing to have a swimming pool outside your door?
Thanks, no it wouldnt be all that bad ! :)

I looked at a place Tues. we are waiting to here from them and it has a pool and a fitness center ! So either way well have a pool ... :D

aww sorry to hear this ... were in mass are you looking? prolly in the same town so the kids can stay in school? .. are you willing to look else where?

We're looking in the town we're in now (no luck) and the towns around us. We have to be careful we have towns and small cities near by with awful schools. Because of my job and my husband's job we need to stay close to where we are now.

Maybe today will be the day. We looked at a place on Tues. that would be perfect ! I'm waiting to hear from them................

Try to relax. You're not going to become a baglady. You're going to work through this, and you're going to develope a lot of confidence because you did. Then you'll realize that you can handle anything. Because you can.

Thank you for your words........... :)

I understand Mom ... well goodluck to you!!! You definitly got to be carefull with the schools!!! I hope things work out good for you ... this will pass ... and you will be stronger ... maybe even end up with a better place .... i know you hear that often this will pass.... buttt it will be strong!! and GOOD LUCK

Oh dear Paula my heart is with you , i am going trough something similar.
So beleive me i do understand your panick. Eventho i still have 2 months to find myself an appartment i am still trying to stay confident that i will.
The house i live in, was sold this year and the new owner are moving in my place GRrrrRrrrRRRr lol...i have been renting for almost 5 yrs now.

Everyone around me seem to panick more then I. Because i dont want to let myself go into a state of anxiety. So i keep telling myself, hell if i dont find a place by june 30 at midnight, i will go camping in the town's municipal park, with all my stuff, and boxes ect heheheheh...and i will if i have too. It's summer....so camping aint so bad :rolleyes: :) . So i figure i have an extra 2 month during the summer to find an appartment. :)

Stay confident Paula, one time i find an appartment 12 hours before i had to move. So take it one day at the time, and make the best of each day.

I am sending you positive vibes yer way with this post :D

I had a similiar situation also about 18 years ago but I was single then so it wasn't nearly as bad.

I had been renting a house that was 5 minutes from work. It was on a dead end street, with a huge yard in a safe area.

I had a knock on my door and it was a process server with an eviction notice. I totally freaked out. My rent was uptodate (surprisingly) and when I called the property management company that I rented from, they said that the owner was selling the property and I only had 30 days to vacate. (A new subdivision was being built.)

As a single adhd patpack, besides having so much "stuff", I also had 2 dogs and a pregnant cat. I started asking everyone I saw if they knew of a place that was available. I wasn't being picky but didn't want to be in an unsafe area.

I was currently dating my present husband (who is my 1st husband) :) and fortunately his looser druggie friend had a house with an upstairs and he desperately needed money to pay his house payment because he didn't always feel like working.

We (my 2 dogs, pregnant cat, and my boyfriend/now husband), all moved in. (I wasn't about to move in with that looser alone.) We knew it was just a temporary thing. We planned on staying there as long as we needed so that we could save some money and get out.

We'd come home and all the lights would be completely out and he'd be sitting in the frontroom playing Led Zepplin on his guitar. (creepy)

He would have also gone upstairs and turned off our box fan that was in the window, causing the upstairs to be 800 degress. He said we are on an "energy alert".

He'd use our rent to pay his lawyer rather than fixing the hot water heater so on several occassions, I had to run to my parents to wash my hair.

He'd leave the windows wide open (that didn't have screens in them) and my dogs would casually just jump out the window and take a stroll around the neighborhood in the middle of the night.

Needless to say, it was not the most pleasant situation, but it was a place to stay.

I would suggest getting the word out. Tell everyone that you meet, friend or foe, your situation, and something will come up. It always does.

Patience and good luck!!!! We're all rooting for you!!

[b]Stay confident Paula, one time i find an appartment 12 hours before i had to move. So take it one day at the time, and make the best of each day.

I am sending you positive vibes yer way with this post :D

Thank you so much

the fear of the unknown. yes. I know that one too.

I wonder if you/we would like to open a post in the peer coaching section. Perhaps, those who are moving can share feelings. The moves that are sudden and abrupt are quite disrutive, especially when children and pets are involved.

We as the parents, think that we are expected to be brave and hide our feelings, but I do believe that Chris brought up a great point. The kids are experiencing their own emotions about this as well.

And they will need to be open and honest. i have moved often, and am aware of the turmoils. :faint: Hugs to ya.

**************
I have sold my beach house and am moving June 30. At this moment I am not sure of my plans either. Lots of issues for me.
And I am scared. So, perhaps we could share and support each other in a thread dedicated to this process.

Let's talk, Dig and Mom and anyone else who has similar concerns or insights.

We looked at a place on Tues. that would be perfect ! I'm waiting to hear from them................


Have you had any news yet ????????

Hope all is going well ;)

I was wondering the same thing.....how are things going Paula??

My sweet swearing truck driver :rolleyes: :p :)

Have you had any news yet ????????

Hope all is going well ;)


YES !!

We heard yesterday we got into the place we wanted,we're moving May 30th.

I keep saying, because we don't have these things now

"a dishwasher"

"walk-in closets"

"1 and 1/2 baths" :D


Thank you all for your words

See SEe,,,, you did it,,,,now RELAX for $%%%$"$%"$%% please....

They are just DETAILS....you have the most important now...hey roof over yer head...

Smile :)

YES !!

We heard yesterday we got into the place we wanted,we're moving May 30th.

I keep saying, because we don't have these things now

"a dishwasher"

"walk-in closets"

"1 and 1/2 baths" :D


Thank you all for your words

:eek: Hey i dont have an appt yet!!!! :eek: :eek:


LOL i know i should panick....but i cant...i feel i will find one...I hope it's not one of my magical thought hehehehe :p :)

Is it really that crowed in America/Canada or do you live in the city?

Ok FTM

Now that the crisis is over

Lets look at the good points

A fresh start

The chance to have a yard sale and get rid of all the things you really dont need but just dont have the heart to get rid of

a dishwasher

pool and a fitness center

At least you have cats and not DOGS

You seem to be doing okay handling it. Just hang in there. You will find a new place and get settled in just fine.

Me
(I loathe moving too and I'm just one person)

Sunday our landlord told us we had 30 days(We are tenants at will) to move out of the house we have rented from her for the past 13 years. :eek: Her son got married a couple weeks ago and they're giving him the house.

There aren't many places in my area that fit what I need. I fear that we'll have to move into a hotel room with our 2 kids, 3 cats and 2 rats.

I'm packing,talking to people on the phone, looking at apartments, working and doing my best not to break down in front of the kids.

Boxes,boxes and more boxes of stuff, I can't find anything and I'm feeling so out of control. I'm short tempered, spacey, not eating, can't sleep without help, worsening memory troubles. I'm also having horrid thoughts, I'm shaky, nervous like, I have an awful feeling of dread.

I'm terrified, I don't think I can handle this !

YES !!

We heard yesterday we got into the place we wanted,we're moving May 30th.

I keep saying, because we don't have these things now

"a dishwasher"

"walk-in closets"

"1 and 1/2 baths" :D


Thank you all for your words


Great news Paula :D

I don't have a dishwasher - that's what husbands are for isn't it :eek: or so i was told *I WISH* LOL

Walk in closets - its not something that we really have in our houses over here, its built in wardrobes or free standing furniture so again i don't have one either.

1 and 1/2 baths - What do you do in half a bath ?????????? :eyebrow: :p

I hope every thing goes well for you and yours in the move ;)

:eek: Hey i dont have an appt yet!!!! :eek: :eek:


LOL i know i should panick....but i cant...i feel i will find one...I hope it's not one of my magical thought hehehehe :p :)


Better start looking :eek: or do you want to borrow my wand :p :D :D

Better start looking :eek: or do you want to borrow my wand :p :D :D
LOL i am looking, but we are going thrue since the last 3 yrs a lack of appartments. And all the rents went up like crazy.

fasttalkingmom,

Congratulations on finding a place for you and your family. (I don't know of many hotels that accept rats so good thing you didn't have to move into one temporarily.)

"No matter what is thrown your way, roll with the punches and always remember to duck."

I am the optimist in our family. My husband is the pessimist. If my car won't start, he says it's the motor or transmission and we will have to junk it. I say it's probley just a dirty battery cable. (I am usually right.) :)

As an adhd mom/wife/sister/daughter/friend/fulltimer worker, I always seem to have a full day of drama. "Drama Mama". Like someone is telling everyone around me to hang loose and "Save the drama for your mama".

As an optimist, I still need to remember daily to count my blessings. There are whole families out there living in cardboard boxes. Some families are so poor, that they probley had to resort to eating their animals for food. Seriously.

I want a different vehicle because my Mercury Mountaineer is a gas hog. Poor me. Many people don't have cars and have to walk or take a bus.

I had a little sweat on my forehead while getting ready for work yesterday. Bummer. Some people wish they had a job to go to.

Hang in there. Be strong for your family. They will be even stronger when they grow up by watching you.

I was wondering the same thing.....how are things going Paula??

My sweet swearing truck driver :rolleyes: :p :)


Heehee...... things are good........ thanks for the laugh you....*&#@* ;)

Is it really that crowed in America/Canada or do you live in the city?

It's not crowed and I don't live in the city I'm in a rural area. In my state houses and rents are very costly. The goods ones are taking fast !

In my state of Nebraska there are some crowded cities but this is still mainly a farming state. Our township has 220 people tops. And I saw an add in the paper for a bus driver *looks to Paula and grins* Rent is cheap!!!

In my state of Nebraska there are some crowded cities but this is still mainly a farming state. Our township has 220 people tops. And I saw an add in the paper for a bus driver *looks to Paula and grins* Rent is cheap!!!

**Grins back** ;)

My best wishes to you, Paula!!