View Full Version : I need help please


ADDguy2385
01-08-16, 06:21 AM
You see im a 30 year old man, for the past 12 years i had many jobs i couldve kept and regretted for not staying with them. In the past year alone ive had 4 jobs and couldnt keep them long term. You see i started to take my medication to see it can help me, but I no luck. There was this job i was doing and barely in the 4th week i was struggling with the material they were giving me, because it was a class based setting where the employees had to do 5 weeks of training before they start their job. My employer noticed it pulled me into the office and let me go.
Tbh to make a long story short i told my employer about my issue and they couldnt help.
Anyways to the matter at hand, what can i do so i can understand employers expectation of the job without struggling and learning? I really want to keep a job long term.

Tmoney
01-08-16, 09:40 AM
Well for me it started with finding the right job for me. One where the requirements were associated with my strengths. I'm social, I work well in a team, I work well with people. When I was in a job where I wasn't comfortable or I had a manager who was confrontational or just a jerk, I would struggle because I have a hard time keeping my mouth shut.

I know, I'm working on it!

I never disclosed my disorders up front because back in my younger days I didn't want people making concessions for me or judging me. I had that young pride. Today I could careless. I tell who ever asks or whoever wants to know what's wrong with me. I just don't care what people think of me anymore.

So, finding the right job that suits your strengths, asking as many questions as possible in an interview or while your training. Employers actually prefer this instead of the guy who sits there and asks nothing out of fear and then is lost when its time to start the job. I use to write everything down. I use to take what someone says while training me and try to use it in a hypothetical example to ensure I understood correctly.

I also confirm with saying like; "So what your saying is" I take a little longer than most to get it! But when I do get it my confidence comes out and there's no stopping me. I also use to try and take on the things that other employees avoided like dealing with unhappy customers. I have a way of making them happy again even if I can't give them what they want.

I hope this helps. hang in there keep fighting and I think you will find a job for you!

I wish good things for you!

ToneTone
01-08-16, 11:00 PM
Have you thought about going to therapy? The reason it could help is that you want to develop the ability to judge whether a job is going to be too demanding for you or not. I'm not sure you know this, but that's a skill that can be developed. But it takes some honest assessment of your strengths and weaknesses ...

The ultimate goal is to search for jobs that match our strengths ... but you've got to be able to see your strengths to do this ... and it can harder to notice our strengths than people might think. A lot of times our strengths may not match what we want our strengths to be ...

I say forget about what employers want for a bit and focus on what you are good at ... You can imagine an assessment of your strengths and weaknesses on a continuum and imagine job difficulty on a continuum. X job doing x work under x conditions could be really easy for you to do well. X +1 job will require you to focus harder than you might want to, but with some work and the right support, you could do it ... X+2 job would be more difficult for you but with treatment and maybe a supportive therapist, you might be able to succeed in it ... all the way to jobs that are basically "no way" you can do them and you want to stay away from even thinking about them.

Good luck.

Tone

dvdnvwls
01-09-16, 12:35 AM
Think back to a couple of jobs you've had lately. Now that you know what those jobs are really like, you would never apply, right?

Figure out what exactly was wrong with the jobs, so that you can find a job that isn't like that.

Lloyd_
01-09-16, 01:27 PM
You see im a 30 year old man, for the past 12 years i had many jobs i couldve kept and regretted for not staying with them. In the past year alone ive had 4 jobs and couldnt keep them long term. You see i started to take my medication to see it can help me, but I no luck. There was this job i was doing and barely in the 4th week i was struggling with the material they were giving me, because it was a class based setting where the employees had to do 5 weeks of training before they start their job. My employer noticed it pulled me into the office and let me go.
Tbh to make a long story short i told my employer about my issue and they couldnt help.
Anyways to the matter at hand, what can i do so i can understand employers expectation of the job without struggling and learning? I really want to keep a job long term.

Without getting too specific with personal details, what type of jobs were they? Customer service? Data entry?

Perhaps you'd be better suited doing other types of work?

ADDguy2385
01-29-16, 12:08 PM
Without getting too specific with personal details, what type of jobs were they? Customer service? Data entry?

Perhaps you'd be better suited doing other types of work?

Well i had everything from customer service to general labor.
Even there are some jobs im not good at bit i still managed to do them.

KarmanMonkey
01-29-16, 02:39 PM
On the next job you find, try to focus on your strengths, and come here with issues you're having and we'll help you find a way around them.

As far as telling your boss, it sometimes helps to be vague and not mention the diagnosis. You could say things like:

"I'm better at learning on the job than from a book"
"I was wondering if you could connect me with a veteran of the company to tutor me on this stuff"
"For the written test, any chance I can do it orally or on the computer?"

Basically, stay away from talking about symptoms and diagnosis, and focus on what would make things easier. Usually the little things like the above take little to no effort on the part of your boss and make a world of difference for us.

Also, get help where you can from your coworkers. You're new to the job, and they know that, and the more people you get to know and can rely on, the less any single person will feel "put out" by fielding your questions.

ADDguy2385
01-29-16, 03:30 PM
Cool thanks, wish i knew that sooner. Well i have an interview for a dishwasher position. Something like this should be simple. But in all actuality i believe it will be hard for me, ive done dishwashing in the past but this will be different cause its in a restaurant setting

So how would i be able to transition all this stuff
"I'm better at learning on the job than from a book"
"I was wondering if you could connect me with a veteran of the company to tutor me on this stuff"
"For the written test, any chance I can do it orally or on the computer?"

To the dishwashing job?

InvitroCanibal
01-31-16, 09:35 PM
You see im a 30 year old man, for the past 12 years i had many jobs i couldve kept and regretted for not staying with them. In the past year alone ive had 4 jobs and couldnt keep them long term. You see i started to take my medication to see it can help me, but I no luck. There was this job i was doing and barely in the 4th week i was struggling with the material they were giving me, because it was a class based setting where the employees had to do 5 weeks of training before they start their job. My employer noticed it pulled me into the office and let me go.
Tbh to make a long story short i told my employer about my issue and they couldnt help.
Anyways to the matter at hand, what can i do so i can understand employers expectation of the job without struggling and learning? I really want to keep a job long term.


How well do you communicate with your employers/get to know them as people? This sounds like a communication breakdown and them only seeing the worst of you. People often don't care the reason behind a persons performance unless they know you. This could be a people problem then a job problem.

I am an introvert so I understand. I don't kiss ***, but I bring people coffee at 2pm without them asking, or I take out their trash at the end of the day or buy people doughnuts or whatever. Little nice things for a team of people is a great way to say "Hey just because I don't talk doesn't mean I don't care."

ADDguy2385
02-01-16, 07:35 PM
Ok i got hired for a dietary position at a retirement home, whoever see's this post can help me out so i can be successful at the job.

Thanks in advance.

dvdnvwls
02-01-16, 07:43 PM
Ok i got hired for a dietary position at a retirement home, whoever see's this post can help me out so i can be successful at the job.

Does this mean you'll be cooking? Or what?

ADDguy2385
02-01-16, 07:58 PM
No But i will be serving the elderly 1st to see how i will do.

I worked at this job company once, but they let me go.

Now since iam taking my medication im hopeful this will help
Me do the job better.

Pilgrim
03-24-16, 02:00 PM
No But i will be serving the elderly 1st to see how i will do.

I worked at this job company once, but they let me go.

Now since iam taking my medication im hopeful this will help
Me do the job better.

Watch, look and listen. Are you the ' can do ' guy.

Smile and say hello to everyone.

KarmanMonkey
04-05-16, 04:15 PM
Check to see if this resource is helpful:

http://www.workplacestrategiesformentalhealth.com/pdf/Supporting_Employee_Success_EN.pdf

It was put together to help plan accomodations for people with mental illness return to their old jobs, but the accomodations suggested can help quite a bit, and most require little or no effort on the part of the employer.

As for how you can adapt my earlier suggestions for a specific job, it's really about looking at what you do well, and what gaps you had at your last job.

Finding a good employee to "mentor" you can make a big difference. When I started my current job one of our social workers were assigned to be our go-to person to help adjust to the way the hospital did things, as well as to work through some of the challenges (in my case it was being the only non-clinical staff at a clinical meeting)

Every job has its own unique flow and culture. Finding the right person to mentor you can make a big difference. In the case of being a dishwasher in a restaurant, it's about knowing where the bottlenecks might be, and which items can wait (for example, silverware might need to be washed instantly, while the large stockpots can wait until the end of the shift) The more you learn the flow, the more you can set up a routine so it can look like you're anticipating their needs. Having a mentor can be your 'in' to learning the workflow.

traze23
04-07-16, 12:06 AM
You see im a 30 year old man, for the past 12 years i had many jobs i couldve kept and regretted for not staying with them. In the past year alone ive had 4 jobs and couldnt keep them long term. You see i started to take my medication to see it can help me, but I no luck. There was this job i was doing and barely in the 4th week i was struggling with the material they were giving me, because it was a class based setting where the employees had to do 5 weeks of training before they start their job. My employer noticed it pulled me into the office and let me go.
Tbh to make a long story short i told my employer about my issue and they couldnt help.
Anyways to the matter at hand, what can i do so i can understand employers expectation of the job without struggling and learning? I really want to keep a job long term.

I'm sorry to see you go through this. I've been in similar situations but I was able to quit before they fired me. Any job which is more than one or two weeks of training(which is hard enough in itself or ready) I do not take. There is no point b/c I will become overwhelmed and stressed out which will lead to more depression and worse symptoms. Furthermore, my attention span gets worse and worse.

It's very hard to be picky with an economy and job market like this but I have to do it b/c if I take the job I can't handle, it makes the condition worse which leads to my health being worse(blood pressure, anxiety, depression, etc.)

traze23
04-07-16, 01:09 AM
Well for me it started with finding the right job for me. One where the requirements were associated with my strengths. I'm social, I work well in a team, I work well with people. When I was in a job where I wasn't comfortable or I had a manager who was confrontational or just a jerk, I would struggle because I have a hard time keeping my mouth shut.

I know, I'm working on it!

I never disclosed my disorders up front because back in my younger days I didn't want people making concessions for me or judging me. I had that young pride. Today I could careless. I tell who ever asks or whoever wants to know what's wrong with me. I just don't care what people think of me anymore.

So, finding the right job that suits your strengths, asking as many questions as possible in an interview or while your training. Employers actually prefer this instead of the guy who sits there and asks nothing out of fear and then is lost when its time to start the job. I use to write everything down. I use to take what someone says while training me and try to use it in a hypothetical example to ensure I understood correctly.

I also confirm with saying like; "So what your saying is" I take a little longer than most to get it! But when I do get it my confidence comes out and there's no stopping me. I also use to try and take on the things that other employees avoided like dealing with unhappy customers. I have a way of making them happy again even if I can't give them what they want.

I hope this helps. hang in there keep fighting and I think you will find a job for you!

I wish good things for you!

Tmoney on the money once again. I currently have a job which is not going well.

http://www.addforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=176561

Your reply really helps. As I was mentioning in my reply, it's hard to be picky when its so hard finding a job these days b/c of the economy(I would probably take a job as a rocket scientist if someone offered it to me). But I can't keep putting myself through this, I need to find jobs that are associated with my strengths and I need to accept that I'm different. I also need to stop being afraid to say no to a job.