View Full Version : Fear of Listening to New Music


BellaVita
01-13-16, 05:33 AM
Okay, I've been thinking about writing this post for a while, but have been too embarrassed. :o But it's really on my mind and I've been researching and can't find any information on it.

I have an intense fear of listening to new music, by artists other than David Archuleta.

I only have his music on my device(*besides an album of piano songs dvdnvwls played for me), and only listen to his music when I'm alone.

Well, and when I'm with others too.

I've developed something that semi-works when someone shares a new song with me. I have them write a description of the song in detail first, and then possibly send me the lyrics. Then, I listen to the song. But even then, sometimes I'm too stressed already and can not handle even this method.

Even when someone sends me a description and all the stuff I ask, I still feel incredibly nervous and shaky upon hearing it.

Whenever I hear a new song played on the radio or anywhere else, I feel panic in my chest and feel extremely terrified. I feel physical pain/sensations and sometimes I even go into an anxiety attack. I can start trembling and hyperventilating.

I've listened (mostly) to the same one musician for around 8 years now.

I even get nervous and scared when *he* comes out with a new song. It feels very unpleasant to listen to a new song of his for the first time.

I am slowly trying to listen to more new music (like a couple new songs every couple weeks) that my fiancé shows me. I'm trying really hard to improve this. But I still feel the massive fear and I don't know if I'll ever be "normal."

I'd also like to mention that I feel completely satisfied and emotionally fulfilled only listening to one artist. Each time I hear a song of his (that I know), I feel intense emotions and I like the song better and better with each listen. I never get bored listening to the same songs over and over.

But, since my fiancé is a musician and enjoys a variety of music I really do want to get rid of this massive fear, or at least reduce it somehow.

I don't know why I feel this way, I don't know why I have such a strong reaction. It has just gotten worse over the years. I think in some way it relates to the experience of a new thing. (fear) But it's so much worse than that, and can actually be debilitating.

Has anyone heard of the fear of new music? Is it a thing?

Little Missy
01-13-16, 07:57 AM
Yes. I dislike listening to new music, not so much a fear unless I'm somewhere that the new music is on and I can't really escape it, like some lunch place where they play new music that I hate. I avoid letting other people drive me because I can't listen to what they listen to. I just hate new, as in the last 20 years or something music, maybe more. I hate the top 40 pop music.

I've been listening to the same music for more than 50 years but I do have an incredible span of different types of music that I listen to.

If the opening notes don't grab me it turns into an instant aversion that makes me physically uncomfortable.

BellaVita
01-13-16, 08:14 AM
Yes. I dislike listening to new music, not so much a fear unless I'm somewhere that the new music is on and I can't really escape it, like some lunch place where they play new music that I hate. I avoid letting other people drive me because I can't listen to what they listen to. I just hate new, as in the last 20 years or something music, maybe more. I hate the top 40 pop music.

I've been listening to the same music for more than 50 years but I do have an incredible span of different types of music that I listen to.

If the opening notes don't grab me it turns into an instant aversion that makes me physically uncomfortable.

Interesting. So it sounds like you have a similar thing but to a lesser degree.

You know what's weird?

As I was writing my OP I actually thought to myself "I bet Little Missy has a version of this too."

Little Missy
01-13-16, 08:36 AM
I can not abide what I call a "messy band." I go crazy and leave if the live band I hear has an improper sound system. This is a big distraction to me. I always go alone because if I go with someone they get mad at me over it. I have to have an out.

I get very annoyed when I hear a song but they have forgotten to add keyboards, strings or a horn section and I'll be writing music in my head to add for it but I know it will never be added so I have to turn it off.

Absolute fear? No. Extremely uncomfortable and making faces and twitching about, yes.

I hate the pop music because most new singers sound off key and whiny. I abhor rap because it is not music or they have "sampled" - I hate that word - other's music and why it is legally allowed is beyond me.

If the singer does not employ a real band behind them I have no use for them.

Maybe it is a fear because I do go to some great lengths in order to insulate myself from being exposed to any new music. hmmmm...I'm real big on my mental comfort.

Little Missy
01-13-16, 09:00 AM
I derive great feelings of comfort and pleasure by listening to the same music.

Unmanagable
01-13-16, 09:15 AM
I fear not being able to listen to a variety, or not being able to listen to it at all, or not having control over the volume, but there are clearly certain songs, most especially the ones that get played on typical radio stations, or in particular genres that I've not been able to warm up to, that create actual physical pain for me. I have to be careful where I venture out to or I get easily overwhelmed and overstimulated by it all and have to leave.

willow129
01-13-16, 11:27 AM
Interesting thread Bella, I bet this is something that more people can relate to than you might realize, though I think it's probably not quite as intense.

My boyfriend has commented to me that I tend to listen to the same music over and over as well. I find it unpleasant to have new music thrown at me that I can't listen to again and think about it and sort of analyze or get used to it. It becomes like a lot of noise. Like on roadtrips, I don't like putting on one new album after another to listen to, I don't necessarily mind listening to new music that is from my boyfriend (ack! I mean exboyfriend :( )- though I much prefer the stuff I know - but if there are going to be new albums, I want to put one in and listen to it again and again, I won't *really* start to like it otherwise, unless it's just totally my kind of music. I have also had similar anxiety or panic attack types of feelings from music that was too much and unwanted. I'm specifically remembering this violin concerto on the radio....I definitely had to turn it off.

I get how someone might feel nervous about new music, I've felt this before in very sensitive times in my life, though not quite as intensely. For me I think it's because music can have such a profound emotional impact, it almost feels like it can change your world to have new music. Sometimes it feels like the music you love is the thing that gives you hope in a hard time, and other music might take that away somehow. And I imagine Bella that you like to keep your world fairly structured, with routine, and knowing the things that give you comfort. And I bet you probably feel things very intensely emotionally.

I also know that music I don't like can have an almost scary feeling, like it's taking me out of my comfort zone, it's annoying, it makes me feel depressed...etc. It's funny because there are a lot of music threads here on ADDF but I don't really visit them, which I feel guilty about. Often friends will send me songs and it takes a lot of motivation for me to sit down and listen because it is a little scary, if I do at all. I think it's so funny because I teach music and actually do listen to music quite a lot, I often need to have something playing around the house. But I very much listen to very specific genres. And I get stuck on certain bands and groups. One of my friends says I'm *really* good at sending him music that he will like, I do think about it carefully before sending people things, and I think it's because I can get stuck in a rut like this too.

I've heard of kids, especially ones with autism or even ADHD I think who will get VERY preoccupied with a certain piece of music, and just know it THROUGH AND THROUGH. And actually my mom did this too. And it will be like, to the point where others canNOT imagine how they find that music enjoyable anymore because everyone else is so tired of it. And that can cause annoyance in other people. This is why I don't think you're alone. And again, music is emotional, it kind of makes sense. We do not understand why it has the impact on us that it does, scientifically, but it's definitely there.

I think, it's ok to have a certain style or artist that you just prefer over everything else. If you think about it, a lot of people everywhere have genres of music that they just avoid totally because it absolutely rubs them the wrong way, and a genre that they really like the best. So I think knowing what kind of styles you prefer, and being able to say "I like this, but I don't like that" is ok, and that might help your fiance be able to introduce new music to you, and avoid things you don't like, and you might be able to at least trust him more when he shows you something new.
I know that in going through this break up I'll probably be really just listening to my old favorites again and again because of feeling insecure. So I think it's ok to know if you're just not feeling emotionally confident enough to experience something new.
Also, something that one of my dearest friends, my first boyfriend, did when I was not wanting to listen to a new piece of music, but he knew I would like it, was just set up the whole environment so that everything was comfortable and relaxing and then hugged me or just sat next to me, and kept everything else very quiet so I could really pay attention - the way I needed to. No talking until the end. And actually a lot of the music he shared with me I still listen to OVER AND OVER again, this is like a decade or more later now, so I think that probably worked!

BellaVita
01-13-16, 12:04 PM
Interesting thread Bella, I bet this is something that more people can relate to than you might realize, though I think it's probably not quite as intense.

My boyfriend has commented to me that I tend to listen to the same music over and over as well. I find it unpleasant to have new music thrown at me that I can't listen to again and think about it and sort of analyze or get used to it. It becomes like a lot of noise. Like on roadtrips, I don't like putting on one new album after another to listen to, I don't necessarily mind listening to new music that is from my boyfriend (ack! I mean exboyfriend :( )- though I much prefer the stuff I know - but if there are going to be new albums, I want to put one in and listen to it again and again, I won't *really* start to like it otherwise, unless it's just totally my kind of music. I have also had similar anxiety or panic attack types of feelings from music that was too much and unwanted. I'm specifically remembering this violin concerto on the radio....I definitely had to turn it off.

Thanks for making me not feel so weird. :D Thanks for sharing your experiences.

I get how someone might feel nervous about new music, I've felt this before in very sensitive times in my life, though not quite as intensely. For me I think it's because music can have such a profound emotional impact, it almost feels like it can change your world to have new music. Sometimes it feels like the music you love is the thing that gives you hope in a hard time, and other music might take that away somehow. And I imagine Bella that you like to keep your world fairly structured, with routine, and knowing the things that give you comfort. And I bet you probably feel things very intensely emotionally.

That all makes sense.

You described me well. I do like to keep my world fairly structured, with routine, and know the things that give me comfort. And yes, I feel things VERY intensely - maybe too intensely.

I also know that music I don't like can have an almost scary feeling, like it's taking me out of my comfort zone, it's annoying, it makes me feel depressed...etc.

Yes! I can quite relate to the scary feeling. Some music gives me such a scary creepy eerie feeling, and I've had many of those experiences so maybe that is partly why I have such a strong aversion to new music.

It's funny because there are a lot of music threads here on ADDF but I don't really visit them, which I feel guilty about.
Don't feel guilty. I often avoid music threads...unless I feel like I might get to talk about my one artist. :D

Often friends will send me songs and it takes a lot of motivation for me to sit down and listen because it is a little scary, if I do at all. I think it's so funny because I teach music and actually do listen to music quite a lot, I often need to have something playing around the house. But I very much listen to very specific genres. And I get stuck on certain bands and groups. One of my friends says I'm *really* good at sending him music that he will like, I do think about it carefully before sending people things, and I think it's because I can get stuck in a rut like this too.

It's somehow relieving to hear that even a music teacher has similar feelings as me. You're the first one I've heard talk about this issue.

I've heard of kids, especially ones with autism or even ADHD I think who will get VERY preoccupied with a certain piece of music, and just know it THROUGH AND THROUGH.

That's me. :o

And actually my mom did this too. And it will be like, to the point where others canNOT imagine how they find that music enjoyable anymore because everyone else is so tired of it. And that can cause annoyance in other people. This is why I don't think you're alone.

Yes! Thank you for this! I have had that experience far too many times. Again, glad to know I'm not alone.

So I think knowing what kind of styles you prefer, and being able to say "I like this, but I don't like that" is ok, and that might help your fiance be able to introduce new music to you, and avoid things you don't like, and you might be able to at least trust him more when he shows you something new.

That's my issue. :o For "I like this, but I don't like that" it's = David Archuleta. That's all there is.
I do trust him and his music choices, I just can't stop my physiological/psychological response no matter the song choice. Like I said, it even happens when I hear a new David Archuleta song. And, it makes it even worse when there is a new, unrecognizable(or even recognizable!) voice singing with him in the song. It makes the fear-response even worse.

I know that in going through this break up I'll probably be really just listening to my old favorites again and again because of feeling insecure. So I think it's ok to know if you're just not feeling emotionally confident enough to experience something new.
:grouphug::grouphug:

Also, something that one of my dearest friends, my first boyfriend, did when I was not wanting to listen to a new piece of music, but he knew I would like it, was just set up the whole environment so that everything was comfortable and relaxing and then hugged me or just sat next to me, and kept everything else very quiet so I could really pay attention - the way I needed to. No talking until the end. And actually a lot of the music he shared with me I still listen to OVER AND OVER again, this is like a decade or more later now, so I think that probably worked!
Thank you for this! I actually think it's excellent advice. I've been trying to make sure I'm in a comfortable place physically when listening to a new song, which helps to a degree.

BellaVita
01-13-16, 12:04 PM
I derive great feelings of comfort and pleasure by listening to the same music.

Me too, and almost every other emotion imaginable to the highest intensity.

Luvmybully
01-13-16, 12:29 PM
I do not fear new music, I just don't like most of what is out there now. To me, an "old" piece of music is around 200 years old, and I do listen to the same things over and over.

My husband listnes to Wish You Were Here EVERY SINGLE NIGHT. Every. Night. For 30+ years.

I do not know you but I also get the impression that David to you = stability and comfort and peace. A safe escape. You feel a loyalty to that. If his music fulfils this need in you, it is understandable why you would fear something new might fail to provide it. Then what?

Do you have the same reaction to music with no words?

aeon
01-13-16, 02:59 PM
I do not fear new music. In fact, I have a voracious appetite for it.

I certainly have my favorites, some older, some newer, and I listen to them often.

But I want to have more favorites, so I seek out what is new to me in hope of finding some.

At worst, I will be bored, but that almost never happens.

At best, I will be positively overwhelmed with depth of feeling and in tears. That’s a good thing...no, that’s one of a very few great things in life, for me.

My experience has shown me that in all styles of music, at all times, there is (and has been) something good going on. Finding it may not be easy, but it exists, regardless of my preferences in terms of style or sound.

I like music with traditional instruments as played by musicians, and I like music with electronic timbres that have been sequenced and programmed. A mix of those things, even! Vintage sounds, modern sounds, sounds of a time period...I’m picky, but not discriminatory.

As it concerns current chart pop music, I dislike most of it, but I still check it all out, because at any given time there are usually 2-5 songs in the Top 40 that I will like, and sometimes that grows to love. I tend to follow the UK charts because overall I find more goodness there, and there are styles and sounds that have bubbled up from the UK underground over the years that I really like, but are totally absent on the US charts.

I can’t imagine life without new (to me) music.

For me, the discovery of new music that I love is one reason to explain (to myself) why my life is worth living. It means that much to me.

It always has, and I expect it always will.


Cheers,
Ian

stef
01-13-16, 05:25 PM
I have a strange take on this;
I actually dont listen to my own music (CDs and ipod), I would rather hear it " randomly" from the radio. it will teigger some memory or some thought ( if its new) and i always associate everything i listen to with the times I.be heard it before. I like classical music in the background when im cooking on the weekend and I have an old radio in the kitchen. but i dont like the top 40 type stations here. and virtually no classic rock stations!

i can never decide what i want to listen to except sometimes i can go on youtube and it sort of leads to one song after another.

I also feel bad about not checking out the music threads here,. its not the music that overwhelms me its the huge possibilities of everything i could and should be listening to, in the first place.

BellaVita
01-13-16, 10:06 PM
I do not fear new music, I just don't like most of what is out there now. To me, an "old" piece of music is around 200 years old, and I do listen to the same things over and over.

My husband listnes to Wish You Were Here EVERY SINGLE NIGHT. Every. Night. For 30+ years.

I do not know you but I also get the impression that David to you = stability and comfort and peace. A safe escape. You feel a loyalty to that. If his music fulfils this need in you, it is understandable why you would fear something new might fail to provide it. Then what?

Do you have the same reaction to music with no words?

I think you've got that right.

When I listen to a new person, it's like a stranger is in the room with me. I don't like that feeling.

Yes, it's a safe escape. I guess it is somehow, some sort of loyalty too. I don't know. When I listen to his music, it is like I have just taken anxiety medication.

It soothes me.

I do have a similar reaction to music with no words, so I avoid that too. Although I do think it causes a stronger reaction when I hear a voice.

anonymouslyadd
01-13-16, 10:54 PM
I like listening to the same songs over and over again. I wonder if some of that has to do with the difficulties I have with learning new things. I drove my mom nuts over my obsession with Jackie Robinson. I used to do book reports on him all the time.

TurtleBrain
01-14-16, 04:31 AM
I can sort of relate, but for me, it's more of listening to a new genre rather than an artist because I never listen to just one artist. In fact, who the artist is never interested me too much until my late teenage years. Like Stef, I mostly get my music from the radio, thus I hear a variety of artists/musicians.

One thing I've noticed now that I do care about who the artists are, is that they may not all stick to the same genre. Also, there might be some song you like alot and others you're not as interested in.

I think familiarity and even nastolgia (it could be associated with happy memories) is why most people to stick to the same music. I don't think that's weird at all.

Another funny side note, sometimes I skip musical segments of a movie because I want to get back to the story.

Maybe you could try lookong for songs that feaure David with other artists to sort of let your mind invite a few new artists at a time. Take your time though. That's how i learned about some singers, they were featured with other singers. Edit: tried googling... Easier said than done o.O

Pilgrim
01-14-16, 06:46 AM
I derive great feelings of comfort and pleasure by listening to the same music.

I'm exactly like this, I can have a crap day and if I get the right songs on Pandora I'm changed.

Certain sounds? New songs come to my collection slowly.

Little Missy
01-14-16, 08:19 AM
Music can make or break a film for me. Sometimes a great film has the wrong music and it dulls the greatness. Sometimes a so-so film becomes great because of the choices of music at the right time.

An unexpected great song can lift me from the depths of despair with an opening riff and change my whole day.

I loathe electronic music.

sarahsweets
01-14-16, 10:23 AM
I dont have a fear of listening to new music but my level of distraction can be insane. If the song doesnt hurry up and get to the hook, theyve lost. It has to be immediately amazing or get to the hook to see if I like it. I love alot of music though.

Little Missy
01-14-16, 02:09 PM
I dont have a fear of listening to new music but my level of distraction can be insane. If the song doesnt hurry up and get to the hook, theyve lost. It has to be immediately amazing or get to the hook to see if I like it. I love alot of music though.

Yep, the hook baby, the hook!

Pilgrim
01-14-16, 03:46 PM
I dont have a fear of listening to new music but my level of distraction can be insane. If the song doesnt hurry up and get to the hook, theyve lost. It has to be immediately amazing or get to the hook to see if I like it. I love alot of music though.

Me to, sometimes I wish I could let it flow over me more. I think music in a way is almost as good as medication.
Once the songs hooked me you can shut the gate.

midnightstar
01-14-16, 05:18 PM
For me, it depends on who is singing the song in the music. Some singers make my head hurt so I avoid them.

I'm worse with films (movies) because there's too much going on in them and I get "sensory overload"

dvdnvwls
01-14-16, 06:37 PM
I wonder how much of this phenomenon might be due to the fact that it has become relatively rare for people to take seriously the music that they do themselves. I think that might have a tendency to cause music to seem less personal, less recognizable, and more threatening or confusing.

Another potential part of the same thing is the amount of processing that recorded music is now put through to make it "perfect" or to give it a certain sound. When I hear very old recordings of piano or singing, I hear the human who made the recording, and I know for a fact that in principle I could do that, even though they play or sing better than I do. The difference is one of degree only. New recordings, especially of popular music but really all genres, are not something I could emulate, even in principle. They're so perfect that they become a different kind of thing altogether, something that I am truly not capable of and can't even aspire to, not just "people like me but who have honed their skills to a high degree" like old recordings often are.

I remember a fad of "Artist-Name-Here Unplugged" albums that came out quite a few years ago, and I remember just how non-unplugged they usually were. That really irritated me.

Many "artists" who are currently recording and making big money would be an absolute embarrassment if they had to perform acoustically in your living room. You would find that not only are many of them not exactly what they sound like in public, but also that many of them are no better singers and players than you are. Seriously.

There is one evolutionary hypothesis that doing music together originated as a way for people to meet each other in a friendly non-aggressive setting, promoting peace and survival.

There's another evolutionary hypothesis that musical ability is a mating signal, like a peacock's tail or a crane's dance.

I don't know. :lol:

aeon
01-15-16, 12:29 AM
Another potential part of the same thing is the amount of processing that recorded music is now put through to make it "perfect" or to give it a certain sound. When I hear very old recordings of piano or singing, I hear the human who made the recording, and I know for a fact that in principle I could do that, even though they play or sing better than I do. The difference is one of degree only. New recordings, especially of popular music but really all genres, are not something I could emulate, even in principle. They're so perfect that they become a different kind of thing altogether, something that I am truly not capable of and can't even aspire to, not just "people like me but who have honed their skills to a high degree" like old recordings often are.

I’ve studied and done audio engineering and production long enough that when I listen to music, of any time or style, part of my listening is to the creative and technical aspects of the mix and soundstage.

I know the production techniques and have the tools necessary to realize those techniques as it concerns the sounds of today, across many styles. For a time, I ran a business providing recording engineering for other people, and I would help each artist to get the sound they wanted...sometimes modern, sometimes vintage, sometimes neutral, sometimes colored, and so on.

I enjoy good engineering and mixing in records. The song, and then the performance, always come first and second in my “hierarchy” of importance in evaluating a recording. After these comes production/engineering/mix. And I love nothing more than a trifecta of musicality.

I do the same evaluating with all recordings, new and old. All of them can be studied and each production reveals itself in time.

Anyway, when I hear new recordings, especially in popular styles, I think “they are people like me but they have honed their skills to a high degree.” There isn’t any mystery to it, regardless of style or aesthetic.

And to be fair, recordings have gone through major amounts of processing since the late 1940s, even when the aesthetic of the production would suggest otherwise.

Recording a person singing whilst playing solo piano or guitar seems a simple thing, but each would require dozens of choices and applied recording techniques, even if the goal was to record the music as neutrally and “nonproduced” as possible...and perhaps especially when that is the production intent.

I suppose it has to do with where one puts their focus. You can (and do) play piano, and I cannot. But I can record one, and make the recording sound like the piano is in the room when listened to, if that’s what someone wants.

I think production/engineering/mix reflects a synthesis of technical and artistic creative choices, and those choices are an aspect of (recorded) musicality. The most “perfect” modern recording ultimately sounds incredibly human, and in this sense, sounds natural to me, even when the sounds and timbres seem otherwise at first listen.

Sorry for the ramble. I should have gone to bed by now. Heh.


Cheers,
Ian

BellaVita
01-15-16, 08:14 AM
I can sort of relate, but for me, it's more of listening to a new genre rather than an artist because I never listen to just one artist. In fact, who the artist is never interested me too much until my late teenage years. Like Stef, I mostly get my music from the radio, thus I hear a variety of artists/musicians.

One thing I've noticed now that I do care about who the artists are, is that they may not all stick to the same genre. Also, there might be some song you like alot and others you're not as interested in.

I think familiarity and even nastolgia (it could be associated with happy memories) is why most people to stick to the same music. I don't think that's weird at all.

Another funny side note, sometimes I skip musical segments of a movie because I want to get back to the story.

Maybe you could try lookong for songs that feaure David with other artists to sort of let your mind invite a few new artists at a time. Take your time though. That's how i learned about some singers, they were featured with other singers. Edit: tried googling... Easier said than done o.O

This post made me want to give you a :grouphug: for some reason.

That's actually a really helpful idea. He does have some songs with other people. Maybe I could (some time in the future) search for their music to see if I like it. (The voices that are more tolerable, some really make me scared inside).

For right now...I'm staying away from searching for new music.

Thanks for trying to google, that makes me feel so good that you tried to help.

BellaVita
01-15-16, 08:21 AM
Guys, I think I just had a realization!

I think one big reason this got so bad...well, everything is "new" in my life right now, things keep changing, chaos (in a good way usually!), I'm in a new place with different people in my life and new experiences.

I think it's some form of control, trying to have a safe "constant" that I know is always there to go to.

I'm bad with change, even good change.

DA is one thing that is super familiar to me.

And I realize...the more stressed I am, the more I grip harder to the familiar and constant...sometimes I can become (not in a cruel way) dictating when it comes to routine and making sure everything goes a specific way. :o

So now, since my whole life is new, it's like great and everything, but I just need something that has been close to me for years. Something that I can listen to that I KNOW I know and isn't new.

And new changes cause me panic and meltdowns oftentimes, so it makes sense that it would also apply to new artists and music.

TygerSan
01-15-16, 10:53 AM
I hope that you continue to find ways to deal with change in your life. It's never easy to do, even under the best of circumstances, and anything that helps with routine is great.

I was gonna ask if it was something you wanted to work on now, or if it's something that was just bothering you because of context.

Regardless, looking at the "problem" from an outsider's vaguely clincal perspective, I could see treating your fear as either a phobia or an OCD-related compulsion, or some sort of combo of the two. Thus, it seems as though if you really wanted to work on broadening the music that you listen to (or at least making it less painful to hear random music that is not DA's), you'd be doing some variation on exposure therapy and systematic desensitization.

For that type of strategy to work, however, you'd have to think long and hard about what types of exposure would set your teeth on edge but not send you into a panic attack, and start with baby steps. I'm not sure how that would look for music exposure, though. Would it be less or more awful, for example, to listen to other artists covering David's songs (including, perhaps your fiancee)? I could see that as either being soothing because the material is familiar, or absolutely horrifying because it's not DA singing.

BellaVita
01-15-16, 11:11 AM
I hope that you continue to find ways to deal with change in your life. It's never easy to do, even under the best of circumstances, and anything that helps with routine is great.

I was gonna ask if it was something you wanted to work on now, or if it's something that was just bothering you because of context.

It's just something I've been wondering about for a while, and feeling a little weird because I couldn't find any info about it online. I do want to work on it, but not like all at once....I'm going to listen to 2 new songs every 2 weeks. I listened to 2 new songs in one night the other day (songs my fiancé shared with me), I am now in "recovery mode" because it was a stressful/scary/strange (yet kinda good maybe?) experience. I feel like it was a lot. :o

Regardless, looking at the "problem" from an outsider's vaguely clincal perspective, I could see treating your fear as either a phobia or an OCD-related compulsion, or some sort of combo of the two. Thus, it seems as though if you really wanted to work on broadening the music that you listen to (or at least making it less painful to hear random music that is not DA's), you'd be doing some variation on exposure therapy and systematic desensitization.

Interesting. I've heard the first term before, and the second word of the second term. Would you please explain a bit what those mean?

For that type of strategy to work, however, you'd have to think long and hard about what types of exposure would set your teeth on edge but not send you into a panic attack, and start with baby steps. I'm not sure how that would look for music exposure, though. Would it be less or more awful, for example, to listen to other artists covering David's songs (including, perhaps your fiancee)? I could see that as either being soothing because the material is familiar, or absolutely horrifying because it's not DA singing.

Ah, I see you explain a bit here. :) Thank you.
Hmmm. I'm not sure how I'd react to that. Sounds like maybe something to try.
I can see it being what you describe, too. Years ago(5+years) I would look up piano covers of his songs because I liked singing to it and it was okay, but more recently when I tried to look it up I felt scared...even seeing a picture(thumbnail) of someone doing a cover of his songs made me feel disgust/weird.

But, maybe if my fiancé did it I would feel better about it. Not sure how excited he'd be about singing/playing David Archuleta songs though. :)

TurtleBrain
01-15-16, 05:27 PM
This post made me want to give you a :grouphug: for some reason.

That's actually a really helpful idea. He does have some songs with other people. Maybe I could (some time in the future) search for their music to see if I like it. (The voices that are more tolerable, some really make me scared inside).

For right now...I'm staying away from searching for new music.

Thanks for trying to google, that makes me feel so good that you tried to help.

I'm glad you found that helpful.You might find David's wikipedia page helpful.

Random side note, I learned about David Archuleta from watching the Shaytards, a family youtube vlog. Yeah, David Archuleta and ShayCarl have met before.

dvdnvwls
01-15-16, 07:03 PM
...
maybe if my fiancé did it I would feel better about it. Not sure how excited he'd be about singing/playing David Archuleta songs though. :)
Excited? Maybe not every time. :)

Able to sing them in all the same keys? Not without a significant adjustment of the underpants. ;)

Willing? Probably, though it might take longer than one hoped - but then again you seem to be hoping for this to not happen too fast anyway... :)

BellaVita
01-15-16, 07:24 PM
Excited? Maybe not every time. :)

Able to sing them in all the same keys? Not without a significant adjustment of the underpants. ;)

Willing? Probably, though it might take longer than one hoped - but then again you seem to be hoping for this to not happen too fast anyway... :)

That's okay. :)

Take as long as needed.

I just had a thought - maybe after I get used to hearing you sing/play David Archuleta songs(however long that takes)...you could sing/play other songs that you like. To sort of get me familiar with them before I hear the actual thing.

I have to take very small baby steps, because I don't want to scare myself so much that I quit the process.

dvdnvwls
01-16-16, 01:09 AM
Ahem. ;)

When I play something, that IS the actual thing! ;)

dvdnvwls
01-17-16, 02:34 AM
I’ve studied and done audio engineering and production long enough that when I listen to music, of any time or style, part of my listening is to the creative and technical aspects of the mix and soundstage.

I know the production techniques and have the tools necessary to realize those techniques as it concerns the sounds of today, across many styles. For a time, I ran a business providing recording engineering for other people, and I would help each artist to get the sound they wanted...sometimes modern, sometimes vintage, sometimes neutral, sometimes colored, and so on.

I enjoy good engineering and mixing in records. The song, and then the performance, always come first and second in my “hierarchy” of importance in evaluating a recording. After these comes production/engineering/mix. And I love nothing more than a trifecta of musicality.

I do the same evaluating with all recordings, new and old. All of them can be studied and each production reveals itself in time.

Anyway, when I hear new recordings, especially in popular styles, I think “they are people like me but they have honed their skills to a high degree.” There isn’t any mystery to it, regardless of style or aesthetic.

And to be fair, recordings have gone through major amounts of processing since the late 1940s, even when the aesthetic of the production would suggest otherwise.

Recording a person singing whilst playing solo piano or guitar seems a simple thing, but each would require dozens of choices and applied recording techniques, even if the goal was to record the music as neutrally and “nonproduced” as possible...and perhaps especially when that is the production intent.

I suppose it has to do with where one puts their focus. You can (and do) play piano, and I cannot. But I can record one, and make the recording sound like the piano is in the room when listened to, if that’s what someone wants.

I think production/engineering/mix reflects a synthesis of technical and artistic creative choices, and those choices are an aspect of (recorded) musicality. The most “perfect” modern recording ultimately sounds incredibly human, and in this sense, sounds natural to me, even when the sounds and timbres seem otherwise at first listen.

Sorry for the ramble. I should have gone to bed by now. Heh.


Cheers,
Ian
Autotune. Digital effects. Overdubbing beyond the wildest dreams of the Beatles.

Contrasting with (let's say, to give extreme examples) recordings of Alfred Cortot's piano from the 1920s and 30s, or with a live-to-air (truly live, unmixed) radio capture of nearly anybody at nearly any time.

BellaVita
03-09-16, 01:03 AM
I have been making progress!
I now have been listening to 2 new songs every 2 weeks. I think this is a good pace and I will stick with this for however long I need.

I know it might not be seen as a lot to some but this is a huge step for me.

Little Missy
03-09-16, 07:15 AM
I have been making progress!
I now have been listening to 2 new songs every 2 weeks. I think this is a good pace and I will stick with this for however long I need.

I know it might not be seen as a lot to some but this is a huge step for me.

Have you found some new songs that you really enjoy?

BellaVita
03-09-16, 08:10 AM
Have you found some new songs that you really enjoy?

I kinda liked a few, but nothing that really stands out....well there was this one that had accordion that was pretty epic....I'm not feeling really emotionally connected to most of the songs, though.

Having great anxiety(fight or flight) while listening probably makes it difficult to connect.

I guess getting used to, slowly, getting exposed to new songs will eventually allow my brain to calm down enough to enjoy them.

I'm guessing in a year or two I will be at that point.

aeon
03-12-16, 12:47 PM
I guess getting used to, slowly, getting exposed to new songs will eventually allow my brain to calm down enough to enjoy them.

I'm guessing in a year or two I will be at that point.

I am happy for you Bella, because inasmuch as music is a language, it would be sad for you to end up illiterate in this way as a result of the neurodevelopmental hand of cards you were dealt.


Cheers,
Ian

theamazingstonk
03-19-16, 08:46 PM
This is the case with me too. I feel similar if I'm watching a movie I've never seen before either. Which is too bad, because I like movies and I like music!

In the case of music, if there's something I think I might like, a new album or artist, that I haven't heard before I'll play it as a sort of background noise. Think of it like slowly wading into a cool pool. I'll be doing busy work like cleaning the house or running the treadmill, something repetitive while I ease into it.

Once that's done, if I initially like what I hear, I give it a real focused listening. Once I've heard it peripherally I don't get as anxious.

I guess my David Archuleta is The Beatles (boring I know.) Sometimes I find myself inadvertently humming or mumble singing songs ("Wait" is a repeat offender) when I need to calm myself down or stimulate myself when under stress.