I posted the other day about how I got fired recently from yet ANOTHER job, and I don't know where to turn now. My husband lost his job this morning, and we are really in a bind now. I have no good job references and a lot of learning problems.

My main problem is getting distracted and I am completely unable to listen to verbal instructions-it's got to be written down for me, and even then, I have to read it over and over and over-and there can't be ANY distractions at all or I can't get it to sink in at all. Things just don't sink in my head when I try to learn new things.

What kind of jobs would be best for me? I don't do the multitasking well at ALL, and that's all the little bit of experience I've had.

I was on complete disability for about a year, but they canceled me because I forgot to call in my husband's income-and they are suing me for $5000-so applying for that is out of the question. I've GOT to get a job soon, but have no idea what to try for that I can handle. I think a slow paced repetitive job would be the best for me, something with little or no stress...IF there is such a thing. LOL

Your options will be limited in that situation. I'd be less concerned with what job might be best, and try and get one that would keep the wolves from the door first.

I don't know what would be best in the way of jobs. I'm still struggling with that myself.

I've taken on some habits that help me focus as well as let go of things I tend to hang onto. I exercise regularly, keep my sugar intake down, meditate and try and use structure as much as possible.

I use timers, alarms and lists to try and not lose the important dates and help prioritize some of the tasks that must be done.

It's all so painfully slow. Keep us posted and good luck.
Cheers!

Thanks for the reply. I'm really just learning about some things that help with ADD/ADHD...diet, etc. Trying to keep a food diary of the things that cause me problems with confusion, memory, moodswings, etc.

So far I've found that chocolate/sweets, cheese, and artificial sweetners give me lots of problems. I do excercise-I jog for a mile to two miles a day and TRY to eat very healthy, etc.

I've started keeping an Organizer too, that helps a lot with my organizing-I organize everything that I need to remember-even if it's something as simple as taking something out of the freezer or taking the trash out. lol

I'd like to start meditating too...do you have any good links on starting that?

There are a gazillion links and ways to begin meditating. :D I'm kind of simple about some things, and meditating is one of them.

Zen Mountain Monastery (http://shorterlink.org/236) was my entry to this practise. They have an excellent site, and some great instructions.

I sit in a position where I'm balanced, so I can get very relaxed and still have good posture with my spine straight. Traditionally this is done by raising your butt on a cushion and sitting in a full lotus position. I can't sit in a full lotus, so I sit in a half lotus with my left leg over my right cross legged.

I tuck my chin in slightly, and focus on a point on the floor about three feet in front of me. If I'm sitting correctly, my eye lids are lowered so my eyes won't dry out.

When I'm sitting correctly, it feels like I'm sitting, stacked up on top of my spine and balanced on the three points of my legs and butt.

Once I'm quiet, I begin to count my breaths in and out to ten, then repeat. If I lose track or get distracted, I begin again but I don't worry about it or think myself bad for losing count. I sit for whatever time I can. Many times it's only five minutes, twice a day, but other times when I've been doing it regularly, I can sit for 25 minutes or so and really enjoy it.

That's my practise in a nut shell.

It's that simple act of letting go of what I'm getting distracted with, and coming back to simply counting my breaths. It's so mindlessly simple but yet it's so effective in helping me get familiar with the process of letting go quietly.

It comes up when I'm frustrated with the kids all the time. It's just so much easier when I'm sitting regularly, to know how to let it go in my heart and not just in my head where I "know" it's the right thing to do. I can truly let some of the negative things I am challenged by, go away for good and not come back.

The bad news for me, is that it only works if I practise, and if I don't practise, the benefits go away. It is so difficult to remember to "sit" when there is no crisis and then, so painful to come back to, because I can't stand the chaos anymore! :D

It's an ancient practise and many people have many different ideas about it. Find one that works for you and enjoy the rewards of more peace.
Hope this helps.

Dr Russell Barkley said that holding a job is often difficult for adhd'ers. He said that a lot of them own their own business for this reason.

I actually suggested that to my husband this morning. He has a lot of different skills...the job he just got fired from was building swimming pools, so that would be a great way for him to get started on some side jobs, putting an ad in the paper.

I know I could do the bookeeping-I'm good with handling money, as long as it's not in a fast paced stressful situation like my gas station job was. I don't work well with other people because I tend to make mistakes and then compare myself to them and get frustrated because they always are so much more compenent than I am.

I'd love to have a job working by myself, in a monotonus type atmosphere, doing the same thing over and over. I'm one of those people who can sit and play Tetris or Poppit balloons on Pogo for hours at a time. lol

Hubby wasn't very receptive to the starting our own business job-he says it would cost too much money that we don't have to buy the needed tools and equipment to start it up. But I think if we started now, buying one thing at a time when we had the money, we could do it.....

Thanks for the link-I bookmarked it and will read it further tomorrow. I found some neat short audio meditations too-they seem very calming.



There are a gazillion links and ways to begin meditating. :D I'm kind of simple about some things, and meditating is one of them.

Zen Mountain Monastery (http://shorterlink.org/236) was my entry to this practise. They have an excellent site, and some great instructions.

I sit in a position where I'm balanced, so I can get very relaxed and still have good posture with my spine straight. Traditionally this is done by raising your butt on a cushion and sitting in a full lotus position. I can't sit in a full lotus, so I sit in a half lotus with my left leg over my right cross legged.

I tuck my chin in slightly, and focus on a point on the floor about three feet in front of me. If I'm sitting correctly, my eye lids are lowered so my eyes won't dry out.

When I'm sitting correctly, it feels like I'm sitting, stacked up on top of my spine and balanced on the three points of my legs and butt.

Once I'm quiet, I begin to count my breaths in and out to ten, then repeat. If I lose track or get distracted, I begin again but I don't worry about it or think myself bad for losing count. I sit for whatever time I can. Many times it's only five minutes, twice a day, but other times when I've been doing it regularly, I can sit for 25 minutes or so and really enjoy it.

That's my practise in a nut shell.

It's that simple act of letting go of what I'm getting distracted with, and coming back to simply counting my breaths. It's so mindlessly simple but yet it's so effective in helping me get familiar with the process of letting go quietly.

It comes up when I'm frustrated with the kids all the time. It's just so much easier when I'm sitting regularly, to know how to let it go in my heart and not just in my head where I "know" it's the right thing to do. I can truly let some of the negative things I am challenged by, go away for good and not come back.

The bad news for me, is that it only works if I practise, and if I don't practise, the benefits go away. It is so difficult to remember to "sit" when there is no crisis and then, so painful to come back to, because I can't stand the chaos anymore! :D

It's an ancient practise and many people have many different ideas about it. Find one that works for you and enjoy the rewards of more peace.
Hope this helps.

if it's not possible for you to go on meds right now, i think a change in diet will always help and also there are some meds that are cheaper than the rest, if you are not hyperactive but can't listen and pay attention I think desipramine can help you, but it can't help you with hyperactivity.

I don't do well on antidepressants at all....tried many of them and hate them, plus the weight gain is horrible. I do eat very healthy, as much as I can anyway.The only time I mess up is when my blood sugar goes low and I have to have a sugar fix or just pass out. lol I eat a lot of veggies, fruits, salads, and fish. Have added protein lately too.

Wow Mollipie, I am going thru a similar thing your going thru, not in a financial aspect, but dealing with a job I can't handle, and I'm now considering starting my own business, but haven't decided in what yet, probably dealing with food. I don't work well with other people, I can't handle being locked up in a cubicle all day, and also I am not great multitasking. I tend to be a self starter on my own and rather work on my own. A Fast pace office with others is not suited for me.

Yes, I too can sit all day playing Pogo games, but can't handle sitting locked up in a box taking orders from others. I also have a hard time following instructions unless they write it down. Then again, I have to read it over and over for it to sink into my brain. I work at a processing center for a bank, and it is very difficult especially if they don't train you very well along with my difficulty. I had to google search how to detect check fraud, sheesh. My worry is that they will hand me another task in a higher level difficulty, and I don't think I can do it. I have no option but to leave, but for now, I am just hanging in there as much as I can.

I wish you the very best in your endeavors. DON'T GIVE UP!!

Thanks for the encouragement Berf-you hang in there too! I had an appointment to be screened for Vocational Rehab, but I called them this morning to see if I should still keep the appointment since I have a job now, and they said that they could not help me since I am working. :( I told them that I know I will be fired from this job just like I've been fired from every other job that I try so hard to keep, but they just told me to reapply when I lose this job. .... Your job sounds hard!!! I sure wish you the best of luck with it!

Mollipie, I don't think any of us were meant to keep a job too long. And I mean regular non add folk as well. IMHO, staying in one place too long (unless it's your own) deadens you.

Mollipie, I don't think any of us were meant to keep a job too long. And I mean regular non add folk as well. IMHO, staying in one place too long (unless it's your own) deadens you.

Of course I tend to hop around a lot (sometimes even intentionally!).

I know what you mean-I don't intentionally hop around jobs (I like stability too much), but I do get very bored easily, and really have to force myself not to slack off after around a year of being on the same job.

Mollipie,why can't your husband start a handy man service? Do odd jobs around the houses of people that need help.Start up costs are low and you could be creative and perhaps charge a monthly service fee for annual services. (cleaning gutters,trimming tree
limbs, repairing and refinishing household items) You can make up business cards and leave them in a grocery store or dollar store.You may not make alot per call but as the word gets out it may become prosperiuos.You couldkeep track of the bills and when you need to go out.

I've tried and tried to get him to do that, but he says since we don't have money for tools, and we only have one small car with no insurance, it would be too hard-plus he's too worried about people suing him if something goes wrong. I'd LOVE to start some kind of home business-wish he had that kind of inspiration-or is the word motivation?

I started a small business and had 500 thousand in insurance and it only cost a few hundred dollars and they set up payments. You could have signed contracts for the work done and when its completed they sign stating it is complete to there satisfaction.
Any attorny's near you? how about a newer attorny that you could talk to and get to know in case of a problem. If you become incorporated ( in ohio) I don't think they can take personal stuff but check your laws. Hope this is insipiring..lol lol

I don't know-my husband has no movitation for stuff like that-he's happy to live paycheck to paycheck. I don't like it at all, and we are in a big bind right now. I'm the only one working, and we only have one car now, and I'm working a new job at Exxon, and I'm horrible at it and about to get fired AGAIN, because of my learning problems.


I'd give anything if I could get back on disability-I"m just not smart enough to catch onto jobs-I"m one of those people who would mess up being a Walmart Greeter! LOL! I'm saying LOL, but I'm dead serious.

I almost walked out at the end of my shift tonight-the girl who relieved me was very rude and unfriendly and hurt my feelings. I asked her if she could show me how to do something,and it wasn't sinking in (as usual), and she went off on me and said I was not TRYING to learn, and when I asked her something else, she said I was OBVIOUSLY not wanting to learn anything,so she wasn't going to show me again. :( I nearly started crying-and did cry after I finally got out of there. I'm sorry-I don't mean to load all my problems on you-you've been very helpful....

Oh I don't mind you unloading on me..people can be mean.It seems as if there patience
is not there and they feel if you don't learn like they do your wrong...Well unfortunately
we have to build up an immune system to it. Maybe try learning like I do,different ways to remember how things go,word games but for heaven sakes tell yoursellf you can do it!!
next time she says your not learning right tell her no...she is not teaching rihgt..put it in her court, ask for a manual that you can take home and review,with no pressure.
I'm writing a book here..lol

Oh ((((( MOLLIPIE ))))))) Don't let them get to you. That has happen to me at the bank's processing center. I felt so ashamed that I broke down and cried in front of my coworkers and my supervisor trying to explain the best I could why I couldn't learn. We have a new worker that was given the same task that I did when I screwed up on it, and he got the hang of it in 1 week. I felt hurt ; I feel as they look at me as if I'm dumb. However, I won't let them get to me. Only 4 had no banking experience but they caught on in a week on their task, but I can't.

I totally agree, Mollipie, that I too would fail as a Walmart Greeter. I probably tackled a little old lady walking out of the store - lol.

Sometimes I feel like a failure, and wonder what is my purpose when almost everything I do I fail. Is there anything out there I can succeed to earn a income to survive without failing? I ask myself ...now I am desperate to get out of the job I have. Just is not for me. I'm now looking into a part time job, because I can't handle being boxed in for 8 hours.

Please don't give up on yourself Mollipie, we are here for you. Post anytime just to vent , ok. Take Care

Thanks SO MUCH for your kind words Berf and Heatman....I feel better knowing that I'm not the only one who has felt this way. I have incredibly so much self hate, it's unreal. Too bad there's not a magic pill to make that go away......

I think that there is a kind of pill that you can have. I call it laughter.I understand what you feel like believe me....but I found that when I laugh at myself first it throws people
off track and they can't laugh at you but maybe with you. I just met you and I find no reason to say anything but good things about you!! So lets take it one day or one half day at a time and lets try and dissolve the self hate.
Hugs!!

Thanks Heatman! :) I wonder if the self hate thing is ADHD related, or some other mental disorder I can add to my list? lol

I think it gets formed as we go along in life,different things that happen to us,by us and not by us form our inner opinion of our selves.then comes in that chemical balance or lack thereof to put into play and this is how these feelings can start. Sometimes someone who cares about us will hurt us unintentionally. I think self hate can be a result of years of add not a symptom.
oh ya..did you see I added you on yahoo?