View Full Version : wife with suspected ADD

02-09-16, 04:46 PM
My wife when she was a kid one day saw a doctor who mentioned that she should be checked for ADD/ADHD. Unfortunately her grandparents who were raising her, didn't believe in ADD/ADHD and instead considered it 'lack of belt syndrome'.
note:I was also raised by my grandparents, and I have tourettes, that was thankfully treated and diagnosed properly when I was little, and has almost no affect on me today.

Now she's over 30, and we've been together for almost a decade. I knew about the suspected diagnosis shortly after meeting her, but it was usually manageable. Now that we have a child, with another on the way though and it's really not manageable. We have a friend of ours who was diagnosed with ADHD who believes she has it also.

She is a very caring woman. But she is very disorganized, and requires constant prompting, is always distracted by the computer, facebook, youtube, you name it, tried using the leach-block plugin on firefox and had minimal success.

She tried going to a doctor shortly after our first child was born about 3 years ago, but we kept hitting road blocks in trying to get a diagnosis for ADD or whatever it is that's causing her to be extremely flaky or spaced out all the time. The psychiatrist that she was seeing was more obsessed with my wife's weight then her lack of focus, but when she did prescribe drugs that would help with attention (usually as a side-effect of weight-loss), her focus did improve.

We just finally discovered that you apparently need to be seen by a doctor that focus's on diagnosing mental conditions first before you can be seen by one that will treat. Unfortunately that was after she was pregnant with our second kid, and it looks like pregnancy hormones caused the doctor to think it was depression.

Then I see articles about women being seen as 'space cadets' (which describes her to a T) or diagnosed with depression, when they actually have ADD and I wonder if it's even possible to get a definitive diagnosis even if we wait until after the pregnancy.
Diagnosing ADHD in Women (from ADDitude) (

I am really feeling overwhelmed, husband/father.

02-09-16, 07:15 PM
Hello and welcome to the forums! :)

First, I want to say I thank you for being so willing to look at a cause such as ADHD for your wife's behaviors - it's not very common that we see this. Especially your compassionate approach is quite a good thing and something to respect.

Please know that whoever told you you have to see a separate doctor to diagnose and a separate doctor to treat is completely wrong. The best thing is to see a psychiatrist, perhaps one that specializes in ADHD. They diagnose and treat.

Also - I lived near Orlando, FL for many years and saw psychiatrists there - there is one place in particular called Orlando Psychiatrics that has really crappy psychiatrists in my experience. I did end up finding an excellent psychiatrist(best one I've ever had) later on - although not exactly in Orlando, but not too far a drive I don't think. If you'd like the name of the psychiatrist PM me and I can give it to you.

I suggest finding a really good psychiatrist, and have your wife bring in a detailed symptom list that she writes down - that way she won't forget anything at the appointment. If she has old report cards from school - these might be helpful too.

I wish you the best.

02-29-16, 12:30 AM
Welcome to the forum. Sorry you are feeling so overwhelmed. Many times people with add can function ok with the add but having kids can add stress that challenges their normal coping skills and makes it more difficult, as it did with my husband. I hope you are able to find a good psychiatrist or neurologist. Usually you can find the same dr to treat as who diagnosed. My husband actually sees a neurologist. Keep us updated and hang in there! Even if/when treatment starts- don't be surprised by the roller coaster ride continuing as you try to find the best balance in treatment.