View Full Version : Help!


Bandgeek4269
02-15-16, 11:08 PM
Hi, I'm new to this whole forum thing. I have had ADHD sense I was 8, I'm 22 now. I've never been to any kind of support group or had anybody to talk to. For the longest time my mom refused to even acknolage that I even had a disability. She refused to get me any help all through school. I was put on meds as soon as a doctor diagnosed me and they helped but now I've been off the meds for 3 years and I'm sinking in college. I managed to coast by with the help of some really great teachers but I need help. I have no idea what to do to help me get my homework on time or even help me remember to get it done. I moved out so my mom's not here to remind me anymore and I just... I wanted some advice.

I also need help on how to remember to do the household chores. I'm living with my boyfriend and he's great but... I can tell hes getting really frustrated with my forgetting to help around the house. I've tried to set alarms on my phone but I get used to them and I keep getting distracted as I go around the house trying to collect the dishes or straighten up.

Really any advice on how to "adult" better when I'm struggling with ADHD would be great....

sarahsweets
02-16-16, 04:59 AM
Hi, I'm new to this whole forum thing. I have had ADHD sense I was 8, I'm 22 now. I've never been to any kind of support group or had anybody to talk to. For the longest time my mom refused to even acknolage that I even had a disability. She refused to get me any help all through school. I was put on meds as soon as a doctor diagnosed me and they helped but now I've been off the meds for 3 years and I'm sinking in college. I managed to coast by with the help of some really great teachers but I need help. I have no idea what to do to help me get my homework on time or even help me remember to get it done. I moved out so my mom's not here to remind me anymore and I just... I wanted some advice.
The first thing I would recommend is to get back on meds. They are the best first line approach to treatment.

I also need help on how to remember to do the household chores. I'm living with my boyfriend and he's great but... I can tell hes getting really frustrated with my forgetting to help around the house. I've tried to set alarms on my phone but I get used to them and I keep getting distracted as I go around the house trying to collect the dishes or straighten up.

Really any advice on how to "adult" better when I'm struggling with ADHD would be great....
This is something you should have a conversation with your boyfriend about. I am not saying you are incapable of doing household chores but I am saying that your difficulty with it may not get any better. We have a "doing" disorder. We know what to do, we just have problems doing what we know.

Bandgeek4269
02-16-16, 06:48 PM
I understand meds are a best treatment but I have really crappy insurance and they would cost 50 dollars each month and I just don't have that kind of money right now.

I was hoping maybe there might be some coping mechanisms. I'm using a pluthora of sticky notes and reminders but that's only getting me so far.

I'll try talking to him. Thanks for the advice

hg12345
02-17-16, 07:29 PM
Hey. I can give you some tips that work for me.
Firstly, sticky notes are my brain! I see you posted that already use them. Great! Every night I make a list of what I need to get done the next day. That is the only way I can move from task to task and organize my day.
Second, I have a great app called "stay on task." It sends random reminders to make sure that your on task. I use this while Im doing school work all the time.
Third, make sure that when you do school work, you have everything that you need with you and that you are comfortable. Put your phone and computer (unless you need it) in a different room!
You can look on some great websites like ADDitude or others for good tips.

caylyn
02-18-16, 03:10 AM
My heart goes out to you.

I was dx'd add - finally - at 53. Even with meds, my life is still chaos. I visit this forum to learn how others cope in their daily lives and see what little tidbit I can pick up to make just one more thing a little easier, and less stressful.

I did the college thing way before I even knew anything about ADHD. I can tell you that I was most successful when I stayed on campus and hit the books on a regular schedule.

If I had a 2 hour break between classes, I went somewhere quiet so I could study.

As far as the cleaning chores, do you think it would help if you and your boyfriend split the chores somehow? You could even alternate each week. For meals, one of you could cook, and the other cleans up.

Many years ago I lived with a man who loved to cook. He planned the meals, grocery shopped, and I cleaned up the cooking mess and dishes. It was great. Neither of us felt guilty about not helping enough.

Sunlovinlady
03-01-16, 01:39 PM
Can you ask the school about disability as far as needing more time for tests, etc.? I've heard that some schools are accomodating. Also, check out tutoring. I'm about to be in the same boat as you. Starting this summer and it's been 8 years since I was taking college courses. I'm pretty nervous. I'm unmedicated so I'm going to try my best but I know it will be hard. I would say organizing your day will be the most helpful. Write a list every single day or for the whole week of things you need to get done, chores included

EX:

Mon- Vaccum, homework, classes
Tues- Dishes, laundry, class
Wed- Clean bathroom, homework, classes
Thurs- Clean piles of clutter, classes
Fri- Homework, rest

etc. If you break it down to one thing a day it might help, instead of just trying to do everything at once. It's overwhelming.

Good luck.

acdc01
03-01-16, 06:44 PM
I think splitting up the chores is a good idea. I'd recommend you doing the chores that are easier for you while he takes the harder ones if you can convince him to do it. Like maybe you are the chef and dishwasher while he does the house cleaning or something. An equal split but different tasks for each of you.

Ritalin is quite cheap I think. $50/month can be reduced depending on meds. Also, I remember reading on here some pharmaceutical companies give away the pills for low income folks. Maybe someone else can remember the program or do a search on this forum.