View Full Version : Boss says that "I'm not getting it"


Twiggy
02-17-16, 06:54 PM
So yeah...I'm doing my ultimate best at my new job.
...And yet I'm going nowhere. I am doing 110%..my brain is failing me even with medication.

I can't seem to "get" what needs to get done efficiently AKA Prioritizing.

I started work at a fast paced job that I thought could handle...but no.. :(

They cut my hours very drastically.
I didn't tell them of my condition.

midnightstar
02-17-16, 07:31 PM
How understanding/supportive is your boss? :grouphug:

Twiggy
02-17-16, 08:15 PM
How understanding/supportive is your boss? :grouphug:

He's not understanding/supportive at all.
I went and spoke to him about why my hours were cut.
His response: You aren't learning fast enough.

acdc01
02-17-16, 09:20 PM
He's not understanding/supportive at all.
I went and spoke to him about why my hours were cut.
His response: You aren't learning fast enough.

What a jerk. And he doesn't even talk to you until you asked about why your hours are cut - terrible boss.

Sorry this is happening to you. Unfortunately, I think I'd look for another job.

Another option is if there is a friendly person who does the same thing as you who could give you some tips on how to prioritize, that might help. But I'm guessing no such person exists.

Dayzeelou
02-18-16, 12:37 PM
Oh no, sorry to hear that, Twiggy. May I ask what type of work that you are in? If you think that some type of learning or training might work, there are some good, free work skill resources and courses on these sites:

http://www.lynda.com/

https://www.ed2go.com/

Good luck!

midnightstar
02-18-16, 06:33 PM
He's not understanding/supportive at all.
I went and spoke to him about why my hours were cut.
His response: You aren't learning fast enough.

When they cut your hours did you tell them about your condition? To be fair if they don't know you've got a condition that could affect your work, they can't make allowances for it :grouphug:

dvdnvwls
02-18-16, 09:34 PM
Twiggy:
When this kind of thing starts happening at a job, I (and probably you too) get very wrapped up in the little details of what's going on and why, along with probably a ton of leftover fear and guilt from the past, combined with the nice shiny new fear and guilt that you're being presented with now.

Breathe. Take a step back. Look at it in terms of where this job fits in your life.

If you really know that this exact job is your dream, and you know you would do anything to make it happen, then get ready for the strategy and energy you'll need, to do whatever it takes to solve this temporary problem. Get lots of help from the people (inside and outside of work) who care about you - whatever kinds of help you can get.

If, on the other hand, you got this job because you need the money and in that way it's "just a job", then it might be worth it to go and find another "just a job" to replace it.

If you're not sure which approach to take, then I suggest you have as honest a look as you can, to decide which would really be harder - fixing this job, or finding another one.

Lloyd_
02-18-16, 09:49 PM
So yeah...I'm doing my ultimate best at my new job.
...And yet I'm going nowhere. I am doing 110%..my brain is failing me even with medication.

I can't seem to "get" what needs to get done efficiently AKA Prioritizing.

I started work at a fast paced job that I thought could handle...but no.. :(

They cut my hours very drastically.
I didn't tell them of my condition.

Your boss seems like an ******* and I'm not saying this to just make you feel good about yourself. Bet if you had a different supervisor chances are the situation would be better at your current employer.

Even if you're 'not getting it' and are busting your ***, any supervisor with a half a brain would be able to acknowledge this and give your some leeway OR better yet give you a different job task that may be bit more tedious BUT requires somebody who's through and checks their work which sounds like that's one of your traits I assume.

Working with ******** really sucks and it can easily ruin your day, especially for us ADDers it's extremely difficult.

So you can always flood my PM box if you need to vent about this sort of thing!! :p

Twiggy
02-18-16, 11:18 PM
I will try to find another job, but I was out of a job for almost a year and a half before this one.

I just want my brain to finally "get it" when I work.

It's being a cook in a restaurant. Super fast paced.

I don't want to sound shallow, but this has kinda has made me depressed. I don't want to be worthless in society.

Lloyd_
02-18-16, 11:28 PM
I will try to find another job, but I was out of a job for almost a year and a half before this one.

I just want my brain to finally "get it" when I work.

It's being a cook in a restaurant. Super fast paced.

I don't want to sound shallow, but this has kinda has made me depressed. I don't want to be worthless in society.

I tried doing that type of work years ago and it certainly was not for me. You probably are the more analytical type, the architect. The one that makes stuff happen, not one who works in a dead end job!

Seriously though, this could of been the best thing to happen to you.

I believe engineering/analytical type work is what us ADDer's excel at. Slaving away in a hot kitchen is crappy work to begin with and it's tough work even for non ADDer's.

Perhaps maybe you'd might enjoy working with the elderly or people who are developmentally disabled being you seem like the type who'd love to help others. :)

dvdnvwls
02-19-16, 02:50 AM
I will try to find another job, but I was out of a job for almost a year and a half before this one.

I just want my brain to finally "get it" when I work.

It's being a cook in a restaurant. Super fast paced.

I don't want to sound shallow, but this has kinda has made me depressed. I don't want to be worthless in society.
You are not worthless in society. Maybe you're not going to be a short-order cook. So? Being "not cut out for" one certain job is not a bad thing. Let the people who are good at that job make their contribution in that way. You go and make your own contribution in something that you are "cut out for".

Really, maybe your best contribution to society isn't even going to be your job. Maybe you're going to do your best work in something that doesn't even pay, while you keep a job that pays the bills to support your real life's work. Then again, maybe there is a job where your best skills will really shine, and that may become something you feel makes your life better, and the lives of those around you.

Do what works for you. Contributing to society is not all about money.

Making enough money to support yourself (and potentially others) is a good thing. It's not the only thing.

Pilgrim
02-19-16, 04:09 AM
Your not worthless in society, I think if you have ADD it's important to feel like you can keep yourself busy and have work.
For what it's worth, I started a new job not long ago and for me it was definitely a steep curve. For some reason this job ticked a lot of boxes for me, working with decent people is a good start.
I think you first have to work out if it's your kinda job. My job was exactly me and I sorta wanted to prove a point to myself. It's relatively different from things I've done before.

But I'm a new person, let's see? The first thing your boss has got to be on your side, if he doesn't look to your improvement forget it.
Second learn everything you can about everything related to it. It's worth the effort.
To be honest, as said above, I find others help invaluable here.

Also, I think I had reached a point where third or second best wasn't good enough. The novelty hasn't warn off yet.
Goodluck

midnightstar
02-19-16, 05:39 AM
Everyone has worth, Twiggy :grouphug: it's just a case of finding what you can do work-wise :grouphug:

KarmanMonkey
02-19-16, 10:45 AM
I will try to find another job, but I was out of a job for almost a year and a half before this one.

I just want my brain to finally "get it" when I work.

It's being a cook in a restaurant. Super fast paced.

I don't want to sound shallow, but this has kinda has made me depressed. I don't want to be worthless in society.

Your worth is not tied to a paycheque, so having a job is great, but at most it's a small fraction of what you have to offer the world.

As for the job, I've never been a big fan of working harder. I'd be looking for a system that works for me. When I worked at a McDonald's, I'd have a set order I did things in at any station I worked at... It's a tough thing to do sometimes though when orders are so variable. And that's in a McDonald's, where there's relatively little variation on the menu.

Don't look to do the job the way others do... Look for how to make it work for you.

stef
02-19-16, 10:49 AM
You're not worthless in society!
You found a job and you're doing your best :grouphug:

You don't have a supportive boss and perhaps this job isn't quite the right fit for you, which is hard, but that's totally ok.

Personally I think you're a superhero, because with my particular set of symptoms that type of job is absolutely out of the question for me. I wouldn't have lasted a day! :eek:

Dayzeelou
02-22-16, 01:24 PM
You can and will find an occupation that you can thrive at, Twiggy! I love work that is fast-paced and hectic and I did try a job in the food service industry many years ago as well. It wasn't a fit for me, perhaps based on the same reasons that you are having trouble. It was hard to perform based on someone else's calls of urgency, but when I am able to control the pace and urgency, I thrive.

anonymouslyadd
02-22-16, 01:45 PM
So yeah...I'm doing my ultimate best at my new job.
...And yet I'm going nowhere. I am doing 110%..my brain is failing me even with medication.

I can't seem to "get" what needs to get done efficiently AKA Prioritizing.

I started work at a fast paced job that I thought could handle...but no.. :(

They cut my hours very drastically.
I didn't tell them of my condition.
I'm sorry you're going through this.

finallyfound10
02-26-16, 09:40 PM
You aren't worthless at all!!

Not all jobs are for all people. The one I have right now isn't for me and I'm figuring out what to do.

I know I could never, ever work in fast-paced kitchen for probably the reasons you can't either.

Good luck and keep us posted!!

Twiggy
03-01-16, 01:11 PM
Well, I got fired.
So I talked to my therapist on how to talk to my boss and I used her advice.
That totally backfired and I have no more job...ah well...

Time to start a low dose of Prozac to help me not feel like a failure in life.

I might seem like a very able-bodied person to work, but internally I lack everything.

Fuzzy12
03-01-16, 01:16 PM
I'm really sorry. That sucks!! :grouphug::grouphug:

Little Missy
03-01-16, 01:16 PM
Don't worry Twiggy, there are plenty of jobs out there. Just keep smiling!

stef
03-01-16, 01:49 PM
Don't worry!
It was maybe not quite the right job for you, and a TOTALLY wrong enviornment and management

Take care of yourself :grouphug:

dvdnvwls
03-01-16, 03:44 PM
Be glad that you got fired so fast, from a place like that. The stress of working with those people would have really "got to you" sooner or later, and not having to deal with them is a big plus.

You don't lack everything. Let's be honest, obviously because of ADHD you lack some things. Don't ever let anyone try to convince you that "lacking things" is all in your head or whatever. It is not all in your head. There really are some things that you're not good at and not going to get better at. But that's OK. It's something you can work around, by finding the kind of job that doesn't require those things so much.

I have a new part-time job. It does take several skills, but they are skills I really have. My main feeling when I come away from working there is "What - they pay me for this? This is too easy!"

I think that feeling of mine comes from having been in jobs like your recent cook job before, ones where the expectations that came with the job were for things I couldn't do. Work doesn't have to be that way. If you feel like the job you have is hard work, that's fine. But if you feel like you're constantly drowning in stress, extreme criticism, etc, then it's not the right job for you and you should leave when you can.

Twiggy
03-01-16, 10:31 PM
Thanks everybody, I will try to pick myself up and search for another job.

I'm 100% sure that I won't be doing any cooking or food jobs anymore.
They are way too stressful.