I have this problem with talking with co-workers. I notice others have talked about boyfriends, parents, kids, things they do outside of work. I talk about my kids but I always end up talking about what a doctor said or a counsilor said.. in other words, I give too much information. Its like the minute I open my mouth I can't limit what I say, I have to say what's on my mind. Anyone else have this problem? What can you do? Not talk?! Thanks!
08-20-03, 01:28 PM
You mean sharing more than "they" wanted to know??? Yup. I have that problem....That's because, at least I think, us ADD'ers tend to be "deeper" than most people...we think deeper and therefore tend to talk more in depth about things....we don't just talk "surface" stuff....like news, weather and sports:)
Unfortunately the rest of the world doesn't really understand this...so they "look at us funny"....or think we're weird or different...for having shared something different or more personal.....Listen Kassie, no don't "not talk"....I mean you have stuff in common with the rest of your co-workers, right? Like you have kids, right? You can talk about them...You do stuff outside of work....right? You can talk about that.
Do you have a place where you actually CAN share the deep and personal stuff, i.e. what the doctor or counsellor said? A safe place, that is, to share the personal stuff? So that that kind of energy can be released SOMEWHERE??? I would make sure that that stuff gets talked about somewhere....to your best friend, or whatever...or even here at forums...so that when you're at work...your need to talk about deep stuff perhaps won't be there so much....
And perhaps at work, you can start to monitor yourself a little bit.....when you start to talk....limit conversation subjects to those that are safe for you....Does being on meds help with this?
Originally posted by joanrdtobe
That's because, at least I think, us ADD'ers tend to be "deeper" than most people...we think deeper and therefore tend to talk more in depth about things....we don't just talk "surface" stuff....like news, weather and sports:)
I agree with Joan that we're a "deeper" sort of folk, and I think that's why a lot of us have such impatience with stupid banter. That kind of cr*p is part of what made me CRAZY and have to escape the car pool of which I used to be a part. For me personally, I also find that I have so many thoughts on whatever the subject is that they bottleneck somewhere between my brain and the filter I'm supposed to have between my brain and my mouth...and eventually TMI spews out. I've only really been able to reign myself in (in most cases) over the last few years; I grew up with a zillion funky looks, raised eyebrows and a whole lotta ostracizing from people.
Originally posted by joanrdtobe
...Unfortunately the rest of the world doesn't really understand this...so they "look at us funny"....or think we're weird or different...for having shared something different or more personal.....
Personally, people who seem incapable of having a single deep thought or emotion are deeply annoying and shallow! (puns intended!) :D
08-20-03, 05:29 PM
I know exactly what you people are talking about. Deeper is better, as far as I am concerned, and I have no use for shallow conversation...
I find I can tolerate it if I can find something to fidget with, or if I have something I can work on at the same time, i.e. shallow conversation is fine while I am washing the dishes or shovelling snow.
Yep, having shallow conversations can feel similar to the efforts involved in shoveling snow...or other....stuff...that can be shoveled.... :D
Have you notice that since we are "deeper" that the stuff we talk about doesn't seem so deep as others view it? I don't mind talking about ADD or that I'm low carbing, but I was told those were "too personal" to talk about. To me, stuff someone does with their boyfriend is too personal. Isn't it funny how our values are different?