View Full Version : I had a good day, I told my manager and a colleague about my ADD and have no regrets


Jacksper
02-29-16, 03:03 PM
Last week I told my manager that I had ADD. I work here for 2 months now and I feel that it's a very friendly environment, so I thought I could. I also had to, because I have not been doing that great. This is not a huge problem for them; I am an unpaid trainee at the moment, with the agreement that I will get paid as soon as I get a project, but still it would be nice for us both if I could actually get a project. The thing is: it's (mostly) not their fault that I don't have one yet. They have given me plenty of opportunities, and I have worked on nearly all of them, but I just struggle with staying organized and productive. This was quite frustrating, and because I kept this all to myself I became quite ashamed and depressed from this, which, you know, doesn't help as well. Because of past (mixed) experiences with telling about my ADD to employers and due to the bad experiences you folks had that we discussed here I thought it was a good idea to keep my mouth shut and I think that was a good idea for then. But I trusted my manager and I had not much to lose, so I told him. I said that I didn't want to whine about it, and that it's my responsibility to deal with it, but just that I thought it was important for them to know so we can discuss solutions. He told me that a collegue of me also has ADD (and is quite open about it so he could tell) and that it may be interesting to talk with him.

Well I did that and it was really good. He was really open and from what he told I recognized that he had a lot of the same struggles (I recognized some of that in his behavior earlier, although I have respect for how he copes with it). I said that I liked talking about it with him and if he wanted to discuss this more often. He said that he would really like that.

It's nice to not be alone in this anymore, but to have some allies now in my manager and my colleague! :)

Besides this conversation my workday was also exceptionally great in many other ways. I did a good amount of work for a humanitarian organization (where I am a volunteer) and I made some nice progress in two of my most important projects as well. A lot of time I was "in the flow", which is essential for my productivity and which I haven't experienced in the two months that I worked there. I also felt much more relaxed interacting with my collegues (not perfect but a lot better); I was pretty anxious for the last two months. I hope this is the start of a new chapter.

So I think telling my manager and that collegue was a good idea and it was an important reason why I think things are turning out better now, but it's not the only thing. I have already been working towards this for many weeks. I exercise a lot more, sleep better, eat better, I have started meditating again (just a few minutes but still it helps), organized myself a bit better, I became active here again and had some interesting conversations with yall and I have reflected a lot. Still I have a long way to go but it's nice to finally see some signs that things are really improving. I hope that it lasts. I don't have the illusion that life will ever get easy, nor do I have that desire (ok sometimes I do), but I do really hope that I will not just be fighting to fail all the time, I want to fight to win. I know some people here have overcome their biggest challenges, so I know that it is possible.

I just wanted to share that.

sarahsweets
03-01-16, 06:04 AM
Your experience is not the norm. I always advise people to keep it to themselves to avoid discrimination.

Unmanagable
03-01-16, 09:12 AM
While it may not be the norm, and may not be in the best interest of every individual with adhd or any other diagnosis, it sure is refreshing to read a good outcome of what typically strikes deep fear in the hearts of everyone facing it. Thanks for sharing, Jacksper.

acdc01
03-01-16, 11:11 AM
Glad disclosure worked out well for you.

I have a coworker with ADHD too and yeah, it's nice knowing someone else who has the same thing. Although must say, she seems totally different from me - amazing how different we all are.

finallyfound10
03-03-16, 03:48 PM
I don't tell and encourage others not to as well but if it's worked out then that's great! I just don't trust that it won't be used against us and don't want to give ammunition.

TurtleBrain
03-03-16, 04:00 PM
Personally, I don't see a point in disclosing my adhd because anyone who gets to know me will figure it out on their own ;)
Even after disclosing it to some friends, they told me they weren't even surprised to hear it.. yeah, I guess I'm an adhd poster boy.

willow129
03-03-16, 09:54 PM
Cool Jacksper! Your manager sounds like a really nice person :)
This is really different but I have a mentor at work and I told her about my ADHD in December when I was going through breaking up with my boyfriend of 5 years, and my prescriber had left the practice so I was off meds, it was soooo hard and I was having a hard time with work.
For her though, she is supposed to keep things private, that's part of her job in mentoring me so it is really different but it was interesting to tell a colleague. Though, I really see her as a friend, otherwise I wouldn't have said anything probably. Anyways I'm glad I told her because as it turns out both of her (adopted) sons have ADHD and gosh she really understands the struggles and that it's not on purpose! I really needed help focusing that weekend so she checked in with me every hour or so checking in on how I was doing :)

I think you reeeeeaaalllyyyy have to be careful, and I do not recommend just telling someone at work just on an instinct, but if you are feeling good about them, have known them for a period of time, and are confident that they see you as A Person and not someone who's...expendable, I guess...there are times when I've told people and felt like it was a really good idea that I did. Mostly I don't tell though. :P

daveddd
03-03-16, 10:15 PM
cool

i had to tell them at work , people were asking what drugs i was taking to be so hyper

KarmanMonkey
03-04-16, 10:20 AM
cool

i had to tell them at work , people were asking what drugs i was taking to be so hyper

I used to just say it was a natural high :D