View Full Version : Help please!


Rachaelkaelie
03-04-16, 01:41 PM
Can someone please explain to me how it is safe for a child who has been taking three different ADHD medications for more than 5 years to all of a sudden stop all of them? I took one of the kids in for his monthly refills this morning and was told that they are no longer going to give him any medication including his sleeping medication (because he has insomnia). All the nurse practitioner said to do was give him melatonin which is exactly what we used to give him before they gave him a prescription for sleeping medicine. The melatonin did absolutely nothing to help him sleep and without his sleeping medicine he only sleeps for one and a half to two hours a night at most which is not healthy for an adult let alone the child! I am so far past furious right now! These are 3 different medications that mess with the chemicals in his brain...is this is going to cause him to go into withdrawals? The doctor was at their other office today so I couldn't even talk to him and the nurse practitioner had absolutely no answers for me as to what I can do to help him. If you have any suggestions please please please let me know. I am at such a loss for what to do for my child right now!

dvdnvwls
03-04-16, 02:21 PM
Why are they doing this? What's going on?

TurtleBrain
03-04-16, 02:46 PM
I take benedryl to help me sleep, but it's most because of allergies. Maybe have your kid try omega3 too to help with adhd. I've even heard of self-medicating on caffeine, but there might be sideeffects to that though.

I'm just throwing some ideas around, just something to do while you get this issue sorted out.

Rachaelkaelie
03-04-16, 03:04 PM
Why are they doing this? What's going on?

I have idea except for the fact that they are trying to get him to see a therapist. The problem with that is we tried this before and they have to have his mother's permission (im step mom) and she refuses because she was abusive to him and his sister and shes afraid of what he will tell the therapist. Prior to me being in his life he went to the only therapy place for kids here and his mother got him kicked out. She hasnt seen or even asked to talk to him in 2 years so we arent even sure how to get ahold of her. He sees a therapist at school but they cant give him medication. We have tried every otc we can think of and nothing has helped. You would think the dr would continue his meds until we can figure this out but he just said no and that was that. Now im terrified of how this will effect his school behavior.

dvdnvwls
03-04-16, 03:36 PM
What I mean is, why did the doctor say no?

Rachaelkaelie
03-04-16, 04:00 PM
I never got to talk to the dr only the nurse practitioner and that was all she said. The doctor works at different offices on different days and we just so happened to go to the office where only the nurse practitioner was available. Hes the only dr my son has seen and has never said anything about not giving his meds before...we saw the dr the time before this visit and he never mentioned stopping the meds. As a fatter of fact, he wrote the scripts for them and said see you next month.

TurtleBrain
03-04-16, 05:28 PM
Is his mom still a legal guardian? Couldn 't you just call child protection services or something?

Caco3girl
03-07-16, 09:03 AM
I never got to talk to the dr only the nurse practitioner and that was all she said. The doctor works at different offices on different days and we just so happened to go to the office where only the nurse practitioner was available. Hes the only dr my son has seen and has never said anything about not giving his meds before...we saw the dr the time before this visit and he never mentioned stopping the meds. As a fatter of fact, he wrote the scripts for them and said see you next month.

Rachaelkaelie, I sent you a private message, please check it.

Lunacie
03-07-16, 12:29 PM
I would expect a better explanation from the doctor himself, and I'd make a real nuisance of myself calling or going to see him until I got that explanation.

Did the birth mother give permission for him to take meds? Trying to understand why her permission is needed for him to have therapy.

If the birth mom hasn't seen him in two years, is daddy considered the primary custodian? If not, he should go to court and have that done.

BellaVita
03-07-16, 12:40 PM
This is not right - that doctor is putting your child's life in danger by abruptly stopping 3 medications at once. Not even a taper? If you have some medication left - I suggest tapering down little by little until he is down to the last pill.

Reschedule an appointment right away and say it is urgent and try to explain the situation over the phone to get in sooner.

Ask to see your doctor and not the nurse practitioner.

If the doctor refuses to put the child back on his much-needed medication, fire that Doctor and go see someone who will properly treat your son. Get copies of the list of medications he was on so you can show them to the new doctor and resume the treatment plan.

Since you wrote that the doctor said he wrote the scripts and see you next month - it seems like there might have been a miscommunication between him and the nurse practitioner.

I also suggest having the child take "sick days" from school - because yes abruptly stopping 3 medications will likely cause withdrawals and it might be very painful and damaging for him to attend school in that condition. It might also be too much for him to handle emotionally since these medications (if it is ADHD medication) help with emotional regulation so he will be suddenly very dysregulated, and with lack of sleep it might really send his mood into a negative spiral that will be debilitating for him.

Also - why does the child need his abusive mom's written permission to go to therapy? Am I understanding that right? She doesn't want him to go because she thinks he will speak poorly about her? This is very typical of controlling abusive parents. But I'm not sure why there must be permission from the mother given as she was abusive to him and she hasn't been in the child's life.

I agree with Lunacie about the father going to court.

Caco3girl
03-07-16, 04:20 PM
Custody cases are difficult. Custody cases with abusive mothers are even more difficult. No one wants to believe a mother is capable of discarding a child. In the general population there is this misconception that father's are able to provide the seed for 10+ children and walk away without a care (which is also not always true), but a mother would NEVER leave her child or abandon her child, or do something to intentionally hurt their child...obviously the step mom and bio dad MUST be exaggerating what is going on because mother's don't treat their children like that.

In my case, with my step son, we had to get the bio-mom out of the child's life in small steps that took almost 5 years to complete. We had the day-care, the elementary school teacher, and a guardian ad litem all there to say the mom was bad news and even then our lawyer told us not to hold our breath because she was THE MOM.

sarahsweets
03-13-16, 04:31 AM
If you have custody and the mom am has been MIA for 2 years then it's time to get the state social services involved. No need to wait for anything more to happen. Even if you have to lie to the dr office and say you want to see the doc for something other than meds, do it and then tell the doc what's going on. Do not try and do this with the office staff because they might defer to the NP. Try in the meantime to figure out how to legally get all the rights you need to get the the Therapy. What are the names of the meds they want him to stop ?

Caco3girl
03-14-16, 02:29 PM
If you have custody and the mom am has been MIA for 2 years then it's time to get the state social services involved.

WOW, no, I would never willingly get state social services involved. This is a matter of court custody, the dad just needs to man up and file for sole custody or a termination of the bio-mom's rights and the step-mom can adopt the child. Social services is the LAST place I would turn. They are like the mafia....once you are in you rarely get out. That means welfare checks, where they inspect your house and pantry, social workers that give you funny looks when you explain the bruise on the kids leg is from his soccer game, and you open yourself up to a whole host of issues.

For a kid that is being starved, beaten, and or locked in a closet you for your want social services to swoop in and protect the child, but in this case it has to be the dad just stepping up.

I met my step son when he was 2, he moved in with me and his father when he was 3, my husband got primary custody when the child was 5, at age 8 his bio-mom was put on supervised visitation, at age 9 the court FINALLY said I could adopt him and terminated her rights. Getting her destructive influence out of that child's life was the best thing that ever happened to that kid, but it does take effort on bio-dad's part.

sarahsweets
03-14-16, 05:27 PM
WOW, no, I would never willingly get state social services involved. This is a matter of court custody, the dad just needs to man up and file for sole custody or a termination of the bio-mom's rights and the step-mom can adopt the child. Social services is the LAST place I would turn. They are like the mafia....once you are in you rarely get out.
For a kid that is being starved, beaten, and or locked in a closet you for your want social services to swoop in and protect the child, but in this case it has to be the dad just stepping up.

Look, I hear what you are saying and 99% of the time I would agree with you. This kid is suffering. And from what the Op wrote, its sounds like therapy and other stuff is all hinging on his bio mom. I wouldnt assume the father has to 'man'up because it sounds like the two of them are doing what they can BUT the child is in need, and its easy for us to say that only the severely abused kids need intervention. This child deserves just as much help and oversight as an abused kid because he is NOT getting what he needs and if it continues its the same thing as abuse. Imagine, therapy gets dangled in front of these parents and its the absent bio mom that has the ball in her court.
When does adhd as a disability qualify as urgent to you? At what point does something need to happen?
I hate social services but I want to see kids that are suffering get the help they need even if it involves all the annoying strict nonsense.
Bottom line-
Waiting for this to straighten out is harming the child.

Stevuke79
03-14-16, 05:33 PM
... they have to have his mother's permission (im step mom) and she refuses because she was abusive to him and his sister and shes afraid of what he will tell the therapist. ..

Maybe you can explain to his mom that one day he eventually WILL see a therapist, and her preventing it will just be one more thing to tell the therapist about. ..

Lunacie
03-14-16, 06:11 PM
I agree with Caco, the father needs to file an emergency order for sole custody so he can get medical issues handled.

They may need to find a new doctor if the current one told the nurse practicioner to cut all meds cold turkey.

Having back up on necessary treatment from a doctor/psychiatrist can help the judge get this working for the child.

Caco3girl
03-15-16, 08:37 AM
Look, I hear what you are saying and 99% of the time I would agree with you. This kid is suffering. And from what the Op wrote, its sounds like therapy and other stuff is all hinging on his bio mom. I wouldnt assume the father has to 'man'up because it sounds like the two of them are doing what they can BUT the child is in need, and its easy for us to say that only the severely abused kids need intervention. This child deserves just as much help and oversight as an abused kid because he is NOT getting what he needs and if it continues its the same thing as abuse. Imagine, therapy gets dangled in front of these parents and its the absent bio mom that has the ball in her court.
When does adhd as a disability qualify as urgent to you? At what point does something need to happen?
I hate social services but I want to see kids that are suffering get the help they need even if it involves all the annoying strict nonsense.
Bottom line-
Waiting for this to straighten out is harming the child.
I agree, waiting for this to straighten out is harming the child....so the dad just needs to file the paperwork for sole custody, you can do this yourself without a lawyer. It's FAR easier with a lawyer but it can be done by a parent.

I would hate to be the one having the conversation with social services on why I did NOTHING while my child suffered. It could be at that point that BOTH parents are deemed unfit.

I actually called social services at one point for my step son. His bio-mom had him sleeping on the floor with an airplane pillow and thin blanket during her visitation with him and he said all he had eaten that day was a baked potato with butter and some chips. They said "The father already has primary custody, if you don't like how the mom is treating the child then the dad needs to go back to court to fix that."

I got the message loud and clear that if it can be fixed by a parent in court they don't want anything to do with the case. We were able to take it to court for my step son, but the other two kids had to wait another year and half before DFCS FINALLY stepped in and took the other two kids from her after her 9 year old had missed 100+ days of school and had been caught spray painting a building during school hours. The bio-dad of those two kids was a recovering drug addict who had to wait 3 months to get his kids out of the system.

sarahsweets
03-15-16, 09:49 AM
Wow Caco, I didnt realize the OP said that the father did not have official custody. I was under the impression it was joint or something like both parents need to give consent.
DUH adhd strikes again!
Ignore please everyone, especially the OP.
I agree, waiting for this to straighten out is harming the child....so the dad just needs to file the paperwork for sole custody, you can do this yourself without a lawyer. It's FAR easier with a lawyer but it can be done by a parent.

I would hate to be the one having the conversation with social services on why I did NOTHING while my child suffered. It could be at that point that BOTH parents are deemed unfit.

I actually called social services at one point for my step son. His bio-mom had him sleeping on the floor with an airplane pillow and thin blanket during her visitation with him and he said all he had eaten that day was a baked potato with butter and some chips. They said "The father already has primary custody, if you don't like how the mom is treating the child then the dad needs to go back to court to fix that."

I got the message loud and clear that if it can be fixed by a parent in court they don't want anything to do with the case. We were able to take it to court for my step son, but the other two kids had to wait another year and half before DFCS FINALLY stepped in and took the other two kids from her after her 9 year old had missed 100+ days of school and had been caught spray painting a building during school hours. The bio-dad of those two kids was a recovering drug addict who had to wait 3 months to get his kids out of the system.